Ask the Pastor with J.D. Greear

This week, as we continue our marriage and family series, Pastor J.D. answers a question about how to parent teenagers. Show Notes: First, let me say how underprepared and unqualified I am for this one. I’m certainly not the expert! One of my mentors said the teenage years are like the scene in Apollo 13 where they’re coming back into the earth’s atmosphere, and they’re going to lose radio contact for a while. It’s the climax of the movie, and everybody’s watching on the other end to see how they’ll end up—but it’s not clear if they’ll be burned up or if they’ll be fine. They just have to kind of wait and see! That’s how parenting a teenager can feel sometimes. Every kid is different.  I heard a Christian counselor say that kids are often either compliant or defiant. The strategies for working with each child and their differences could not be more different. Scripture even seems to allude to that. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child according to his way.” In Hebrew, that literally means “according to his bent.” A good archer adjusts his aim based on the shape of the arrow. Understand the shift from disciplining for control to empowering for responsibility. In his book Biting the Hand That Feeds You, Dr. Kenneth Wilgus talks about a “planned emancipation.” You’re gradually shifting your control over your child (which is in full swing through the elementary years) to your child. It doesn’t happen all at once; it’s a gradual emancipation. If you don’t grant them that independence, they may eventually rip it away from you in rebellion. John Ortberg, the Christian author and pastor, says you go from being responsible for your kids to being responsible to them. Andy Stanley said you have to stop thinking of yourself as a mechanic and instead think of yourself as a farmer. A mechanic wants to diagnose and fix everything, whereas a farmer puts down the seed, takes care of it, and leaves the results to the Lord. But the worst thing to do is dig up the seed and interfere with this process! You can’t play the role of the Holy Spirit, as much you want to.  The control you think you have is an illusion, meaning that you can’t control every aspect of your child’s life forever. Jesus talked about this in his parable of the soils. Only God can truly cultivate soil. For the non-producing soil, the farmer doesn’t just go out and throw the seed down harder! Instead, he recognizes that not all soil is prepared, and that our job is to put down good soil and let the Holy Spirit prepare their hearts. Veronica and I identified four guiding principles we wanted to follow if our kids ever decided to do things differently than we’d like them to: Tell them the truth Keep our kids from detonating “nuclear bombs” (actions with life-altering consequences) Protect other kids Keep the relationship open One of my mentors said: I won’t play detective in my child’s life; I’ll trust God to reveal and to guide. Don’t trade control for influence. In one sense, the quality of my relationship with my kids is more important than the content of my teaching. In the seed analogy I mentioned earlier, “rain and sun” that helps the seed to grow is the quality of the relationship not quantity of instruction that you give. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This week, as we continue our marriage and family series, Pastor J.D. shares the second half of his answer to the question: “What counsel would you give young Christians about dating?” Show Notes: 4. Resolve to seek God first and your significant other second. When you reject the “marriage completes me” myth, you can put your eyes on Jesus and let him supply your needs. The best marriages are like two people running down the road as hard as they can after God, where you look over to see someone running about the same speed and direction that you are, and you say, “Hey, where you going? Wanna go together?” Andy Stanley said it this way: “Become the person that the person you are looking for … is looking for.” That way, if God has marriage in your future, great—you’ll be better prepared. And if not, you still haven’t wasted a decade of your life. 5. Resolve to date “only in the Lord.” If marriage is about having a lifelong companion, then why unite yourself to someone who doesn’t share the most important part of you? Scripture is very clear on this: Talking about a single woman in the church, 1 Corinthians 7:39 says, “… she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord,” (NASB). And, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? …” (2 Corinthians 6:14 ESV). A yoke was a harness put on two animals to keep them pulling in the same direction. If your partner doesn’t share your faith in Christ, you will be pulling different directions when it comes to just about everything—your time, your money, raising your future kids. We need to see that what Scripture says here is less of a restrictive rule and more of a loving guideline because to be unequally yoked to an unbeliever means you will never be able to share the deepest parts of yourself with them. 6. Resolve to date only in the context of community. You need godly and wise counsel more in the dating stage of life than perhaps any other. If there were no other practical reason to be involved in the church, this would be it. Sometimes it’s obvious to people you trust that there are problems with the person you’re dating or your relationship that you can’t see. This could include lust or flirtation problems, a failure to keep their word (which shows they are not trustworthy), or manipulative and controlling behavior. You won’t have those godly people in your life if you are not connected to the church. God has already given you all the counsel you need. You just need to ask older, wise believers to speak truth into your relationships. Again, these resolutions are countercultural, but they are not impossible. Dating is a time of testing. Are you going to be faithful in this? If you use this time to show that you can wait on God’s good plan, you won’t believe the ways he’ll bless you in your marriage and—most importantly—as a disciple. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This week, as we continue our marriage & family series, Pastor J.D. shares the first half of his answer to the question: “What Counsel Would You Give Young Christians About Dating?” Show Notes: You’ve probably noticed this by now, but our culture isn’t doing awesome with the whole dating and marriage thing. Our culture yearns for good, fulfilling, lifelong marriages but obviously doesn’t know how to get there. I want to give you six biblical resolutions for dating. These are uncommon, and certainly counter-cultural, but if you want something nobody else has, you have to be willing to do what nobody else does. And the goal is that these will lead to the kind of marriage you long for, the kind of marriage Jesus wants for you. 1. Resolve to prioritize character over chemistry. The truth is there are different kinds of beauty and they carry different weight. The Apostle Peter says there are two kinds of beauty that can be applied to both men and women: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight” (1 Peter 3:3–4 NIV). Let me tell you: When your kid gets sick and you are on the way to the emergency room at 3 a.m., it doesn’t matter what kind of six-pack he has. All that is going to matter to you is if he’s the kind of guy you know will petition God in prayer, if he’s a spiritual rock that you can lean on. When you lose your job, it’s not going to matter how white her teeth are. What’s going to matter is if she’s the kind of partner you know will stand by you and not go anywhere. You are preparing to tie yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually to someone else for life. Because marriage is companionship and because it is permanent, character matters most of all. 2. Resolve to date for clarity, not intimacy. If the purpose of dating is to choose someone to marry (and it is), and that means character matters most of all, then physical intimacy is something that, for the most part, you should keep to a minimum in dating. Physical intimacy works like a drug; it intoxicates you. That’s not always bad: When you are in pain and you pop a codeine pill, the drug deceives you into feeling awesome. At times, you need that. But if you took codeine and then decided to go for a 10-mile run, you’re setting yourself up for trouble. The same is true for relationships: When the drug of physical intimacy keeps you from seeing who the other person really is, you’re creating problems for yourself. When the physical excitement of sex fades—which it will—all you are left with is a sick relationship. 3. Resolve to reject the “marriage completes me” myth. In a sense, you always marry the wrong person. Why? Because your spouse is a sinner—and so are you. They will inevitably let you down. They will disappoint you. That’s not to say the choice doesn’t matter. But if we think the “perfect person” is going to make marriage a breeze, we are sorely mistaken. What if you gave up the myth that there is a “perfect person” out there for you and instead understood that’s not what marriage is about anyway? What if you saw that God’s main purpose in life is preparing you for himself, and that marriage is one way (though certainly not the only way) he can do that? If we approached singleness this way, rather than being on a rabid, obsessive search for the right person who was the key to a happy life, we could put our eyes on Jesus and focus on following out him, letting him supply our needs. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This week, we continue our marriage & family series with part two of last week’s episode: “What Are the Biggest Obstacles Christians Face in Marriage?” Show Notes: Myth 3: Everyone else is doing better than we are. Everyone thinks they are unique in their struggle. Truth: 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you…”  Social Media has turned this common lie of Satan’s into a forest fire of destruction today. It always amazes me how people seem to be sure from the curated feeds they follow that they stink at marriage (or parenting or whatever else) and everyone else is a superstar. Satan can use social media to cherry-pick what you see, and lie to you about your marriage. He is a liar. God has not forgotten you. He has a purpose for your marriage. He’ll give grace for you to glorify him.  I’ve thought often of the story of manna in the Bible. As much as they wanted it, manna was not given all at once… we want it all up front in the marriage in pre-marital counseling. There are needs in the marriage God won’t reveal until year 5. And he’ll be ready with manna. Myth 4: I’m primarily “sinned against,” only secondarily “sinner.” Early on in our marriage we were both mad at each other. Disappointed. “You didn’t keep up your end of the bargain,” we both thought.  Truth: With Jesus, I’m always first sinner, and only secondly “sinned against.” That came from a counselor, and it changed my life.  I think about how much I’ve sinned against God…nothing she ever does to me compares to what I’ve done to him.  Submersing myself in grace is what gives me the ability to forgive her. 1 John 4:19 First, I want to caveat this by saying that I am not talking about abusive situations, just average joe-selfish sinners. If you are in an abusive relationship, Christ is not telling you to stay in it. You should get to safety immediately and reach out for help. So we’re not talking about abusive relationships, just normal selfish ones. With that said, the question is: What is the “ticker tape” in your head playing? It should be regularly playing your sins, not their’s. Or playing their best moments. Can you remember the last time you repented of something with your spouse? Jesus told a story that I think might be the most important one for marriage, at least mine: 10,000 talents. So if you don’t naturally forgive your spouse, you must have forgotten how much Jesus has forgiven you. What you need is not “10 steps to a better marriage,” but to embrace the 10,000 steps. What you need is Christ as the foundation and center. In no marriage is it always one person’s fault… but with the church and Jesus, it’s always the church’s fault. Yet Jesus never stops forgiving.  Conclusion:  Keep your eyes on Jesus. His grace gives you the ability to forgive. He has a purpose for your marriage, and he will give you abundant grace in it. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This week, we kick off a brand new series on marriage, family, and relationships. First up, we’ll look at the first part of Pastor J.D.’s answer to the question: “What Are the Biggest Obstacles Christians Face in Marriage?” Show Notes: When I got married, our mentor looked at us and said: To be happy in marriage, J.D., you guys need to remember one thing: Women are a lot like cats; and men are a lot like dogs…Surely there’s more to it than that. And there was.  Now, as we launch into a series on marriage and family, I want to make clear that I’m not a marriage expert or a parenting expert.  But, I do want to cover 4  big “myths” of marriage that Veronica and I have encountered, and that I see all the time as a pastor. We’ll cover two this week and two on next week’s podcast. Myth 1: I married the wrong person  Our dating was fantastic. We thought we’d found the perfect person. We were like, “We have the same perspective on everything. We never fight, we never argue!” We more than made up for that the first three years of our marriage. The truth, of course: is that you always marry the wrong person.  First of all, you always marry a sinner, and sinners always disappoint.  One of God’s other purposes in marriage is to teach you to love like he loves—and your love is most Christlike when the person you love is the least worthy. One other truth, which Tim Keller has pointed out, is that we are actually married to several different people in our lives! So, even if you did marry the perfect person, they change, and so do you!  The root of this lie comes from the weight on marriage in this culture.  Maybe you went into marriage thinking that this person would make you happy and complete—to feel important and loved and worthwhile—the one person you could always depend on, who would always understand you, who would always affirm you, and the truth is you’ve been looking for something in somebody that can only be found in God. The truth is that if you are looking to your spouse to fulfill the role that only God can fill, they will always be the wrong person. Now, I think we should give a few caveats: Do Veronica make each other happy? Yes, of course, but only when we don’t depend on each other for happiness.  Good selection is important. Myth 2: It’s never going to get better. The truth is God is doing something in your marriage. You and your spouse are both being sanctified. Looking back, I realize that even though I wouldn’t have said it, I didn’t actually think I needed to be sanctified, nor did I want it. This is why 1 Corinthians says that love always hopes. You have a reason to! The Holy Spirit is leading, guiding and working in believers. You can hope even when the devil whispers lies. In the meantime, marriage is a kind of crucible where you learn to wait on God — where you obey God because that’s all you can do and trust him with the results.  I want you to know, for those of you frustrated in marriage, God is doing something good in you.  Gen 50:20 Ps 84:11 If it’s any encouragement, the Psalms are written by people disappointed in relationships, waiting—but they were confident that if they remained in a posture of obedience, waiting on God, they would eventually see God’s goodness in the land of the living (Ps. 27:13). Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

At some point, we all deal with criticism of some kind. In this episode of Ask Me Anything, Pastor J.D. talks about how to deal with criticism when it comes your way. Show Notes: We’ve talked before about how to lead through criticism, but I’d like to tackle this more generally, because we all receive criticism. So, how do you deal with it? Get over your idolatry of others’ approval. Kabod , one of theHebrew words the Bible uses for idolatry, literally means weight.  So you’re giving something glory — you’re worshipping it — when you give it an undue amount of weight. The fear of man means that you depend on people—their opinions, their approval, their presence — as a source of life and happiness. (Ed Welch: When People Are Big and God Is Small) Don’t get super callous. Tim Keller said that for some people, totally ignoring criticism can be a sign of pride. A lot of people are immune to criticism because they so confident they are right and because they feel that others are so far beneath them. Learn from criticism. In 2 Samuel 16, there’s a story about a man named Shimei who criticized King David. David’s men said, “Why should this dead dog curse my lord the king? Let me go over and cut off his head.” But David wouldn’t do it, because he thought perhaps God had appointed this man to keep him humble or teach him something. I have learned some really valuable lessons from critics — many of whom probably approached me with bad motives… but they were right. And upon reflection, I realized there was something good in that for me. That doesn’t mean what they did was justified or they did it in the right way, but I still want to be able to learn from it. Consider the source. People often assume the worst about your motives or the intelligence you use in your decisions. An accomplished historian once told me, “To understand someone is to forgive them.” Jeff Bezos, founder and CEO of Amazon, said to always keep the mentality that, “My co-workers are smart and have good intentions.” I have a handful of people whose opinions I trust and I know see my motives, and criticism from them means more than it does from anyone else. God is greater than my heart. The opinion of God is always more important than what others say. Like Paul said, if we sought to please men only, we wouldn’t really be servants of Christ. Maybe you’re your own worst critic, but know that God is greater than your heart. In him, you are his, you are forgiven, you have a purpose, he’s appointed you for good works, he’s anointed you to become fruitful and be useful in his kingdom… he’s made all kinds of promises about how he sees you once you’re in Christ, and the incredibly useful, gifted, beautiful, talented person he’s making you into. When your heart tells you you can’t do anything right, trust God’s opinion instead.   Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

In this episode, Pastor J.D. answers the question, “What do I do if there’s a sin I can’t shake?” and gives some practical ways to fight sin. Show Notes: If we’re honest, we all ask this question at some point because we all have seasons of suffering with sin. Now, let me say: for some people, the sins they can’t shake would fall into the addiction category, in which case you’d need additional resources to help fight that. We’ll talk more about that later. But even when dealing with addictions, some of the core things I’m saying would still apply. The Bible tells us that we’ll be locked in a struggle between our spirit when it’s been renewed in Christ and our flesh for our entire lives. Even the Apostle Paul was very honest about his struggles with sin—and that’s after doing so many amazing things for Christ! My advice would probably be three things: First, just never, ever give up the fight. The worst thing to do is to say, “I’ll never overcome this, so I’ll stop fighting it.” Tim Keller talks about how the Christian life feels like a battle we can never win, when in reality, it’s a battle we can never lose. When you re-believe the gospel and you preach it to yourself, that actually infuses the power of new life into you. Second, it’s important to realize that fighting sin is about learning grace. C.S. Lewis talked about this: God sometimes lets us struggle with lesser sins to keep us from the greatest one: PRIDE. So, God may let you struggle with certain sins so that you will stay closely tethered to his grace. That doesn’t mean you ever stop praying for victory, just that God is up to something good even in delaying the answer.In my library I have this book of letters by John Newton, the writer of the famous hymn Amazing Grace, and one of my favorites is one he wrote in his 80’s to a friend where he confessed that by this point in his life he had always assumed that after walking with God for 50 to 60 years he’d have gotten complete victory over his temptations. He said that some of those temptations, however, felt stronger than ever. And at first that made him depressed, wondering if something was fundamentally wrong with him spiritually–maybe not saved. But in this letter he told his friend that now he realized that God let him struggle with some of these sinful temptations and probably would until the day he died to keep him from the worst sin: pride. “True growth in grace, he said, this side of the resurrection, (listen to this) doesn’t mean getting to a place where you no longer feel like you need God’s grace, but growing in your awareness of just how desperate for God’s grace that you really are.” John Newton You learn to lean on God in failure, not in success. It’s like John Stott says, “Pride is your greatest enemy, humility is your greatest friend.” Finally, a great way to fight sin is to institute new spiritual disciplines.  You might not be utilizing spiritual weaponry… you read the Bible and confess your sins, but it’s like using a water gun to put out a house fire. Fasting is essentially you starving the flesh in order to feed and grow the spirit. Radical accountability Scripture memorization Counter talking Be killing sin or it will be killing you. Books:  Letters of Newton On the Mortification of Sin – John Owen Jerry Bridges: The Pursuit of Holiness; Discipline of Godliness Because We Love Him – Clyde Cranford Habits of Grace – David Mathis Saints, Sufferers & Sinners – Michael R. Emlet bradhambrick.com Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

In this episode, Pastor J.D. continues through our series on Psalm 23. This week, he answers, “What if God is using your pain to bring you closer to him?” Show Notes: God uses your pain to bring you to him Here’s the question Naaman’s story should make you ask: What if God was trying to send you a message in your pain?  I’m not saying this is true for all the pain we go through, but it’s a question some of you should at least ask?  You see, up until the moment that Naaman discovered this spot on him, he had felt on top of the world. The story says he was “on the kings’ arm,” which means he was the king’s right hand man. It says he was “highly regarded,” which meant he was “a celebrity.” Everybody in Syria loved him. He was a national hero, trending on Twitter.  And all that was taken away in a moment, by one small spot. One small spot brought the mighty Naaman crashing to the ground. One small spot showed him how fragile everything was. What if God was doing something similar in your pain? Again I’m not saying for sure that is what is happening, but… What if that “problem” had been put there by God to wake you up to a bigger problem—the problem that you’re not right with God and don’t know him?  I know a lot of athletes that point to a debilitating injury as the thing that finally woke them up to the really important things in life. I once met a professional athlete who had just signed a multi-million-dollar contract to play in the pro’s, but then got into an accident doing something dumb that totally destroyed his future career. This guy didn’t know God; his career was his god. He told me with tears in his eyes, “I lay there on the ground, my legs broken, saying to myself, ‘I can’t believe I threw away my entire career for a few foolish seconds of fun.’” I said to him, “Respectfully, I think God may have been up to something bigger in your life. I think I might have been trying to say to you, ‘You are throwing away your entire eternity for a few seconds of glory in an athletic arena.’” To make a long story short, God ended up using this to bring him to Christ. What if God, in your pain, had something for you beyond—better than—even the cure that you seek? And what if this thing he had for you was so valuable that after you found him, like Naaman, you find yourself failing to mention the healing–so great is the treasure you have in God?  So, again, I ask: Has God revealed a spot in your life that tells you that you’re not as together as you have thought? Maybe the ‘spot’ is a wrinkle in your marriage—your marriage is falling apart and you can’t do anything about it;  Maybe it’s a problem with your kids and you feel helpless. That’s maybe where I see this most. You are worried about them, or maybe they are wandering. Or maybe you have no more relationship with them and you keep asking, “How did we get here?” Maybe it’s a habit you can’t break (alcoholism, pornography, a bad temper) Maybe it’s a personal failure you’re humiliated by Maybe it is a dull, aching unhappiness you just can’t get rid of.  Maybe it’s the inability to figure something out. You feel paralyzed, unsure of which way to go. A health scare. In a sense, all of us have this same spot–it’s our mortality. We are all going to die. Your body has an expiration date on it. It’s like you walk around with a stick of dynamite in your hand with no idea how long the fuse it. It could be a week or it could be 70 years, but at some point you will die. Even with all our advances in modern medicine, the death rate is holding steady at 100%. These spots can all wake you up to a bigger problem–that is, where you stand with the God who created all of us. You see, leprosy, throughout the Bible, you see, symbolizes sin. Like leprosy, sin deadens. It grows in you and corrupts you over time. Because of it, you slowly lose feeling in your life—parts of you die. Your innocence; your joy; your optimism; your compassion for others. You become grotesque. Scripture says, “the wages of sin is death.” Our souls have a spot of sin on them that is corroding us from the inside out. And sometimes these lesser spots–the problems in our lives–can wake us up to the ultimate spot we should be worried about.  Not that every leper who heads out to the Jordan River will find healing for his skin disease; the point is to show us that God sometimes uses suffering to open up your eyes to your need of him. Again, I’m not saying that is the case with you–as we saw with Job and Joseph, a lot of our suffering doesn’t have a root cause in our lives. But, sometimes God is trying to get our attention. As the writer of Psalm 119 says, “Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I obey your word” (Ps 119:67) (God used affliction to bring me back to himself.) So, our first point is that God often uses our pain to bring us back to him. And Naaman shows us that all we need to respond to God, if he’s doing that in our lives, is humility and faith.  Humility: That’s the one thing God keeps going after with Naaman. Naaman in this story keeps trying to go to the top: “Let me see the prophet. Here’s an enormous amount of money. Ask me to do something hard.” Yet God keeps sending Naaman to the bottom. Talk to an intern. Do something humiliating.  The path to God is the path of humility. You can’t get there any other way. If you are going to be saved, the one thing you absolutely need is a sense of absolute need. Eph 2:8–9: For by grace you have been saved through faith–faith not in what you have done, but what Jesus has done. It is the gift of God–this healing has nothing to do with Naaman’s might or strength. It is not given as a reward for anything in you. It is the gift of God.  You see, the cross absolutely destroys our pride. The cross declares that God’s verdict on our lives was death. Some of you have always lived for report cards. You always want the “A,” the “high pass.” The “graduated with honors.” The “pat on the back.” On the report card of life, the only one that really matters, all of us received a failing grade. And to receive healing from Jesus, we have to admit that. Embrace it. So, I ask again: Do you have the humility to come to Jesus?  Think about how much humility it took for Naaman to cross that border into Israel, a place he regarded as inferior to Syria, to seek salvation; to admit that the healing he sought could not be found among his own mighty Syrians but among the despised Jews. I say this because maybe this is where you are: you never thought you’d be in a place like this, with people like these. A church of born-again Christians? For some of you, we are in the same category as knuckle-dragging Neanderthals for you. Do you have the humility and courage to question your convictions, to consider these things with an open mind? God can save anybody, it just takes humility and faith. Faith means just believing what God says and taking a chance on it. Like Naaman did. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This week, we continue our series taken from a recent sermon series Pastor J.D. did at The Summit Church on Psalm 23 where he answers: “What does waiting on God actually look like?” Show Notes: When the Duke of Wellington fought Napoleon at Waterloo, the fate of Europe hung in the balance, and everybody knew that. So everyone in England waited anxiously for the news of the battle. Of course, there were no cell phones or TV or telegrams. The quickest way news would get back to England would be by ship. And so, on the day of the battle, a large mass of people stood on the shore waiting on news. Many were parents or loved ones of English soldiers fighting in the battle. Well, a ship came into view and began to signal by semaphore (where you spell out letters by flashing lanterns). It was a foggy day, however, and the message received on land was “Wellington defeated.” The people began to wail in despair, and weep, because they had lost. but after almost an hour, the fog cleared and they saw the rest of the message, “Wellington defeated… THE ENEMY.” When Jesus died, the demons screamed out “Jesus defeated,” but when the fog lifted on that bright Sunday morning, we got the rest of the message. Jesus defeated… THE ENEMY.  When your loved one dies, when you’ve been betrayed by the friend or let down by the spouse or you are languishing in prison like Joseph, the demons scream into your heart, “You are defeated…” When your kid is wandering, when your body is sick, when you don’t make the team or get passed over, “You are defeated…” But there is a day coming when the fog lifts and you see that NOT ONE THING was out of God’s control and not one thing was wasted and that Christ was victorious over all of it. God is always good, but the arc of God’s goodness is longer than we typically think. That’s how it has always been.  We should wait confidently. Think about all the things Joseph’s story demonstrates God’s sovereignty over: The jealousy of Joseph’s brothers led to Joseph’s being sold into slavery–God was sovereign over their jealousy; the fact that Joseph just so happened to be bought by Potiphar, the captain of Pharaoh’s army, set him up to be held in the prison for royal prisoners, where he would meet the butler–God was sovereign over that; the fact that the butler had a poor memory led to Joseph being right where they would know to find him when Pharaoh had his dream 2 years later. God was sovereign over the butler’s poor memory. Even what appeared just to be bad luck was under the control of God’s providence: Think about it (let me have a little artistic license here): When Potiphar’s wife grabbed Joseph’s coat, I ask, what if he had worn his nicer coat that day–the one that was double stitched and wouldn’t have ripped so easily? Without the evidence, Potiphar may not have believed her, which means Joseph would never have gone to prison, and thus never met the butler and thus never met Pharaoh and thus never been in a position to save Israel. That means that in a way, Israel’s entire future hinged on a piece of cheap Egyptian fabric. God was sovereign over that. Scripture presents God as in control of everything: The wind, the rain, lightning, earthquakes, tsunamis, the flight of a sparrow, the blooming of a lily, the hairs on your head, good kings, wicked kings, every roll of every dice, the outcome of battles, the placement of every one of the billions and billions and billions of stars, your thoughts, my thoughts, angels, demons, even Satan himself. All of it is under the providence of God. (This doesn’t mean God is the one acting in those things or that he is behind evil, just that he is orchestrating all of them for the accomplishment of his purposes.) Now, I know what some of you might say, “Well, what about the ways I have messed things up?” If you have committed your way to God, he uses even those things, providentially, as part of his good work in your life.  I have to think that in that first stint in prison, Joseph said to himself, “Why did I have to be so braggy about my dreams? What if I’d been more humble, more discreet?”  But Joseph came to the same realization that David did in Psalm 23. It’s not just goodness that follows me, but mercy. Steadfast mercy, Joseph says. Mercy means that even when we mess up, God responds with never-stopping, never giving up, love. Which covers even our mistakes.  And so, we wait not only patiently, but confidently, too…  We should wait intimately. The theme running through Joseph and David’s life is that even in the worst of times, they communed with God. They feasted upon God. Which is what this sponge is about.  It’s to show you how Joseph was able to respond with confidence and kindness and forgiveness even in the worst situations.  In the prisons, Joseph, like David, kept embracing that God was with him. God prepared a table before him in the presence of his enemies, and he feasted on God (dip sponge)…  He got sold by his brothers–he feasted on God.  He was wronged by Potiphar’s wife–he feasted on God. Isn’t it amazing how when life squeezed Joseph, what came out of him was joy, confidence, integrity, and forgiveness? You want to know why? It’s because in times of waiting he feasted at the table of God, so that when life squeezed him, what came out of him was God.  When you squeeze something, what comes out of it is what’s in it.  Now, compare that to this sponge (Dry). Same sponge! Why? It’s not soaking in water. If you want God to come out of you when life squeezes you, you have to feast on him. So, what comes out of you in a moment of trial? Is it trust and joy and integrity and forgiveness, or when you go through a trial do you respond with (to quote Tony Evans) ‘cussing, fussing, complaining and blaming’?   You want to know why those things come out at your moment of trial?  Because of what you feast on when you wait. You nurse disbelief and anger and self-pity, so that’s what comes out of you when life squeezes you.  If you want to respond like Joseph responded, you have to soak where Joseph soaked, and feast where he feasted.  You want to be soaked in God’s promises that when life cuts you, you bleed God’s word. Finally…  We should wait expectantly. I’ve told you that you may not get to see the culmination of goodness in your lifetime, and that is true.  But, you might get to see glimpses of it. Joseph did. Job did.  God is a good God who loves to bless people. A verse I love:  Psalm 27:13, “I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living!” IOW, now, while I live now, before I get to heaven. It’s not JUST in the sweet by and by that I want to experience God’s goodness, but now. How many of you would say, “I need to experience it now in my marriage, in my children, in my relationships–NOW.  And while, by God’s grace, I’ll wait patiently–until eternity if that’s what it takes–if God wants to “Job” me or “Joseph” me, and I have to wait, that’s fine—but I don’t want to give up yearning for, asking God to pour his goodness out now, in the land of the living.  Waiting in these 4 ways activates the promises of God. Not only does waiting in these 4 ways give you Joseph’s indomitable spirit, it activates God’s saving power! A lot of places in Scripture: The woman with the hem of the garment; Syro-Phoencian woman (according to your faith). Jacob. Matt 13:58 I asked you at the beginning: How would your life change if you believed that in all things God was with you?   Let me add this now: And How would your perspective change if you believed that in all these dark chapters, God was unfailingly pursuing a good plan? That even though the arc of God’s goodness is longer than we expect, it’s always there and he’s always pursuing it?  I heard a talk a while back by Steve Saint, whose father Nate Saint you may know was murdered on the beaches of Equator several years ago. There was a particularly hostile tribe there, called the Aucas, that was untouched by civilization. 5 men, called the “Auca 5,” tried to establish contact with them and they were all murdered. Later, Steve was part of a group that went back to that same people and ended up making friends with them. He led to Christ the man that murdered his father.  In fact, in one of most remarkable grace stories I’ve ever heard. He baptized the very man who killed his father, Mincaye, and adopted him as his kids’ grandfather.  He said: “Why is it that we insist every chapter to be good when God promises only that in the last chapter he will make all the other chapters make sense?” Y’all, I love that story for so many reasons. In trial, God is working. And one day we might see it. He’s working in your group. The Psalmist wants to: I want to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (Ps 27:13).  In the meantime, I know that God is always good.  …Even when I can’t see it, you’re working; even when I can’t feel it, you’re working. You never stop, you never stop working.  And not one thing–not one single thing–is wasted. All of it has meaning. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.

This week, we dive into a short series taken from a recent sermon series Pastor J.D. did at The Summit Church on Psalm 23. First, Pastor J.D. answers: “What does faith look like in a season of suffering?” Show Notes: “The faith of desperation.” Job expresses this faith in Job 13:15, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.” God, I know you’re good. And I can’t understand what you’re doing but I know you’re working a good plan. And so even though everything around me is falling apart, I’m still going to trust that you are good. “Even though you slay me, yet will I trust you.” Many people never make it to this stage. They live on the faith of propriety. And it makes them judgmental. When something goes wrong in someone else’s life, they think, “Well, I wonder what they did wrong?” Their marriage isn’t going well, and you think, “Well, they’re different behind closed doors than what we see of them.” Or their finances are a mess and you think, “Well, they must not be very good money managers,” or, “They must not be putting God first.” One of their kids starts to wander and you think, “I wonder what they did wrong in their parenting? Unlike me over here who is just killing it as a parent, which is why my kids are doing so well.” You think that way because you only know the faith of propriety. But then God sends you through a Job chapter. And some people fall away, sadly. But others go on to develop the faith of desperation. It strips you of your judgmentalism and you say, “Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.”  Is this where you are? Have you ever been forced to develop this kind of faith?  Dallas Willard says, “Often God allows us to reach the point of desperation so we can learn how to trust. It is a hard lesson, but an essential one. The “life without lack” is known by those who have learned how to trust God in the moment of their need. In the moment of their need. Not before the moment of need, not after the moment of need when the storm has passed, but in the moment of need. For it is in that moment, when everything else is gone, that you know the reality of God.” Is that where you are?  Ah, but, believe it or not, there was still another level of faith for Job–it’s the faith of Psalm 23, and Dallas Willard calls it “The faith of sufficiency.”   I used to think that the faith of desperation was the ultimate expression of faith, but Dallas Willard showed me there was a 3rd kind of faith, an even higher type, and it appears right at the end of the book of Job. It’s the faith that rejoices, sits silently and calmly, in the presence of the Shepherd. You see, throughout the book of Job, Job has been protesting his situation before God. “God, I did it all right! I obeyed you! I put you first in my marriage, my parenting, my finances, and look what happened! When are you going to come through for me?” Throughout the book of Job, Job keeps saying, “I want to appear before God. I want to see God and talk to him face to face.”  And so, at the end of the book of Job, God grants him that audience. Job sees God. He stands in his presence. And when that happens, Job says, “Behold, I am vile; what shall I answer you? “Vile” here doesn’t mean what we think it means. It doesn’t mean “nasty” or “evil.” A better translation of the word “qalal” there would be “insignificant” or “unworthy.” Because I am so insignificant, “I lay my hand over my mouth. Once I have spoken, but I will not answer; Yes, twice, but I will proceed no further” (Job 40:4–5).  Job says, “Seeing you, I see how utterly small-minded and unwise I am and how utterly sovereign and good you are.”  Job continues: “(Before this) I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear (IOW, I knew the doctrines about you–I knew how to answer the theological questions–you are powerful and good), but now my eye sees you (beholds you); therefore I despise myself, and repent in dust and ashes. Surely I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.” Job 42:5–6 And at that point in the book, Job stopped pressing his case. He rested. He saw with his eyes the goodness of God and knew he could trust him in all things.  In fact, did you see where he said the word “repent”? “I repent in dust and ashes.” What was he repenting of? You see, the writer of the book of Job says repeatedly that throughout this whole ordeal Job had not sinned with his lips, so what is he repenting of? He’s repenting of not feasting upon and resting in the goodness of the Shepherd.  But now, you see–now–Job’s vision of God was so full and so satisfying that what happens to him from this point on doesn’t matter. He can trust in the goodness of God; content just to be in the presence of the Shepherd where goodness and mercy surround him and follow him and satisfy him all the days of his life. This is called the faith of sufficiency.  A lot of us are where Job was. We’ve heard about all these things with the hearing of our ears, but our eyes have never seen them and our souls have yet to feel them. Some of you are Bible-scholar level in you perception of the doctrines of God, but kindergarten in terms of your experience of them. You say, “Well, what exactly did Job see, and can I see it too?” Ah, now you’re asking the right question. Job gives us a pretty important clue to what he saw in chapter 19: “I know my Redeemer lives and that in the end he will stand on the earth… and I will stand with him!” (Job 19:25) Job saw how committed God was to reconciling him and how secure his future was with God. He saw his Redeemer–alive, after being slain, and standing on the earth.  Where do you learn the faith of sufficiency? “At the cross, at the cross, where I first saw the light, and the burden of my heart rolled away, it was there by faith I received my sight and now I am happy all the day.” Not “happy” as in “I have no troubles,” but “happy” as in “filled to overflowing in the presence of my Shepherd.” Looking at the cross, you see, is not only the way we’re saved from sin, it’s the way we’re sustained in suffering. When we see a God willing to go to the cross on our behalf–willing to go to the depths of suffering to redeem us–that casts a transformative light on our own sufferings. A God who would not forsake us then, at the cross, will not forsake us now, in our hour of trouble, and we know that someday he will keep his promise to turn it all for good and make everything sad come untrue. We’ll stand with him. At the very end of the book of Job, in the final verses, God restored all that Job had lost, 7-fold in some cases–and God did that because God is good and he loves to pour out his goodness in the land of the living–but the point of Job is, and don’t miss this–Job’s joy came before that restoration. Job’s faith of sufficiency was founded on the fact that his Redeemer lives and stands with him. You stand by my side because you stood in my place! Let me ask you again: What do you think you lack this morning? What do you fear? Do you fear marriage going south? Your kids wandering? Still being single this time next year? Your health deteriorating? The death of your spouse? Loss of your job? The collapse of your finances? Nuclear war with Russia? No matter what it is, you can live without that fear. You do not have to be afraid of anything. Because God is with you, you have no lack, and so you can live without fear. Here’s my dilemma: I can’t teach you this. I couldn’t even teach myself. I can tell you stuff that you can hear with your ears, like Job heard, but only the Holy Spirit can open the eyes of your heart.  Philip Keller says that there’s one thing shepherds sometimes do that outsiders cannot understand. When a sheep continues to wander… the shepherd breaks the legs of the sheep. Carries that sheep on his back for the next 3 months as he heals, and when he puts him down that sheep never wanders again. Why? Because that sheep has learned that all that needs for fulfillment and security is to be close to the Shepherd. Maybe that’s what God is doing to you. Maybe that pain is not to punish you, but to teach you to learn more fully on him, so that your joy is unshakeable, because you know the greatest and most secure joy in the Universe–the joy of knowing that the Lord is your Shepherd and he is right beside you, knowing when even a hair of your head falls to the ground. Want to ask J.D. a question? Head to our Ask Me Anything hub to submit your question. As always, don’t forget to rate and review this podcast! Find Pastor J.D. on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook.