FI Minded: Bridging Pre FI Discipline and Post FI Freedom in Financial Independence

I’ve dreaded some recent get-togethers knowing argumentative political conversations are going to be on the agenda and for quite some time, I’ve taken the approach that it is better to avoid these conversations by staying quiet and giving a friendly nod. That line of thinking is changing for me now. Avoiding participation in these conversations is forgoing the opportunity to learn something new, and maybe even change my mind. Along with that, if I’m not taking the time or initiative to understand someone else’s point of view, I’m only reinforcing the current state of divisiveness between these binary camps of blue and red. I invited Corey Nathan on the podcast to give us inspiration on how this could be done right. He shares his personal story of making amends with his dad when he decided to leave the Jewish faith. In the second half of this episode, Corey shares some basic communication skills to help us have more enabling conversations. Some of my favorites include the feel, felt, found framework, the phrase “help me understand”, and changing our mindset from competition to collaboration. I hope you enjoy my conversation with the stockbroker by day, theater guy by night, Jew from Jersey that became a Christian, and the host of the incredible podcast, Talkin’ Politics & Religion Without Killin’ Each Other…Corey Nathan.   Key Takeaways: [1:02] How Hal introduce Corey to Christianity [13:05] Corey telling his Jewish parents that he was a Christian [26:42] When political views are inconsistent with religious scripture [32:21] Corey’s life as a stockbroker and theater guy and how that taught him how to create kindness across different viewpoints [42:18] Why Corey’s son decided to stay unvaccinated and how he approaches that conversation differently now [52:08] How to approach mending relationships that were broken due to opposing political views and the feel, felt, found framework [57:34] Respectfully disagreeing   More of Corey: Podcast: Talkin‘ Politics & Religion Without Killin‘ Each Other https://politicsandreligion.podbean.com/ Instagram: @tpandrpod   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Our teenage years present many challenges. One universal obstacle I saw few of us avoid was the trap of comparing ourselves to others, particularly our physical bodies. Someone was always thinner, more muscular, prettier, taller, or had better skin.Many of those thoughts and feelings never went away but progressing through our 20s, we not only realize but start to believe there are way more important facets of ourselves than our outward appearance.Realizing it and getting there are two different things though. It’s hard to embrace and embody all of our physical attributes, especially those areas we’ve always been insecure about and others that are becoming apparent as we age.Even though I’m not quite sure if I’ll ever fully get to loving my entire body, there are actions that my guest believes that we can take to get closer.I’m excited to introduce you to Sophie Killip, a mental health counselor and coach. Sophie’s philosophies include working towards body acceptance, embracing size diversity, and looking at health from a holistic viewpoint not one singular measurement like weight.We have a great conversation about why fat is not a feeling, normalizing body diversity, replacing self-criticism with self-compassion, and much more. Key Takeaways:[2:11] The difference between body positive, neutrality, and acceptance[6:14] We are heading in the right direction but we still have room for improvement[16:08] Fat is not a feeling and health at every size[28:51] When did chubby become a problem?[31:11] How to normalize body diversity and challenge judgment[35:13] What to say instead of “looks like you lost weight”[42:17] Replacing self-criticism with self-compassion and confidence[50:07] Body gratitude exercise Mentions:Aerie Clothing BrandMike Marjama Overcomes Eating Disorder on Path to MLBMore of Sophie:Website: https://foodbodyself.co.uk/Instagram: https://instagram.com/therapist.sophMore of TSIR:Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Do you know what’s worse than being set up on a blind date? Going on that date in front of a live audience. Oh, and when I say blind date, I mean literary blind-folded. That’s the concept for the New York City based comedy show, UpDating. Imagine live comedy meets a reality dating show. This non-scripted show includes audience participation, brutally honest moments, and relatable feedback in real-time with real people. Joining me on the podcast today is the Producer and Co-Host of UpDating, Harrison Forman. Harrison created UpDating with his partner Brandon Berman. It was a bit of a mix of Harrison and Brandon’s ideas–which you’ll hear about early on in this episode. Harrison shares the highlights and lowlights of creating UpDating. You’ll walk away with insight on dealing with criticism, overcoming self-doubt, and how with a lot of hustle and a little belief, you can attract what you want to achieve in your life.   Key Takeaways: [2:10] The show structure [9:37] How UpDating got started [19:43] Getting people to the show [22:26] The story of Ernie [25:07] Dealing with criticism [29:14] Overcoming imposter syndrome and self-doubt  [38:48] The law of attraction   More of Harrison: www.updatingshow.com Instagram: @updatingshow Instagram: @htforman   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Imagine you’re 9-year-old and you want the new, hottest toy. What would you do? Would you ask your parents for the money or spend your birthday money to buy it? My guess is very few of our 9-year-old selves would have created a business to raise the funds. I also wouldn’t have convinced my parents to change me to homeschooling so I could have more time to focus on my business, but today’s guest did that. Joining me today is 15-year-old entrepreneur, Benjamin Wong. Benjamin is the Founder of Kid CEO Media, a youth-run communications company dedicated to uplifting young entrepreneurs. His seminal projects are the Kid CEO Podcast and a virtual summit he hosted for kidpreneurs to meet and learn from peers. And doing all of this while battling pressures of being a teenager. I hope you walk away from this conversation with the energy to fight back from the conformity that is squashing your most thrilling dreams. We’ll also discuss how to build your own community, the importance of staying open-minded, and what Web 3.0 can do for creators.   Show Notes: [1:38] How a funko pop desire turned into a business [8:28] What sparked 11-year-old Ben to learn about investing  [15:05] Fighting against conformity   [17:30] Creating and building your own community  [25:04] Staying open-minded to learn something new [33:31] What Web 3.0 can do for creators  [44:29] Why the future is the best part   More of Benjamin: www.benjaminwong.co Instagram: officialbenjaminwong   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

With New Year’s quickly approaching, I’m guessing you will be thinking about how you want to spend more of your free time in 2022. Friends, family, and your health are all great choices but I want to dangle one more idea out there: a side project. A side project is something that you do aside from your primary job but unlike hobbies, they have a sense of effort and thoughtfulness in their approach. Examples could be starting a blog, creating an app, or forming a band. Side projects are a great way to learn new skills, meet people, and develop a purpose outside of your career. Heck, they might even lead you to your next job. That was the case for my guest today. At the beginning of 2019, Alex Williamns started a podcast to improve his listening skills. Exposing himself to podcasts, and media in general, substantially changed the trajectory of his career. Since then, Alex has hosted 9 podcasts and has produced 14. He now runs two podcast media companies called MeCho Radio and Polytropos.fm. This episode is meant to inspire you to start something new, redefine failure, and challenge you to bite off more than you can chew…but not too much, just enough.   Key Takeaways: [2:27] Why Alex started his first podcast [11:20] Alex’s outlook on success and failure…and what’s more important [18:41] How Broken Bulbs has changed how he processes failure [25:26] Going from chronic procrastinator to future planner [41:31] Alex’s most recent project and how it differs from all his other shows   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

For many of us, student loans are a huge financial burden throughout our 20s and well into our 30s. Student loans can be hard to keep up with because payments can be the same amount as mortgages. But unlike mortgages, I’m guessing you didn’t spend too much time understanding this debt before agreeing to it. I know that was the case for me. I went through all of college without understanding the difference between subsidized and unsubsidized loans. In college, it was easy to forget about how we were financing our current stage of life but now we are left holding the bag. Although student loans can be complex, deciding on a repayment strategy doesn’t need to be. There are a couple of key questions to ask yourself to put you down the right path. We will explore those questions and more on today’s episode. Joining me is Andrew Paulson. Andrew is a Student Loan Consultant and Co-Founder of StudentLoanAdvice.com. He has a passion for helping people find solutions to complex financial problems. In this episode, Andrew and I get straight into it. We start with the basics including what are the key pieces of information you need to know before deciding on a repayment strategy. Then we discuss repayment plans options, qualifying for student loan forgiveness, and balancing student loans with your other financial goals.   Show Notes: [3:20] Where to start if you are overwhelmed about student loans  [7:21] What is currently going on with federal student loans? [16:09] How Andrew began advising on student loan repayment [19:06] 4 questions to answer to decide a repayment strategy [26:39] How to pursue student loan forgiveness [33:36] What is refinance and who should consider it? [41:48] Balancing repaying student loans with your other financial goals   More of Andrew: www.studentloanadvice.com/SIR Instagram: @studentloanadvice  Andrew’s LinkedIn   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

In this extraordinary era of pandemic isolation, it makes sense that people are feeling more alone than ever. Although stay-at-home orders and social distancing exacerbated loneliness, this trend started way before COVID. This rise of loneliness has caught the interest of many health professionals and is now being labeled as the new smoking. Cited as being as lethal as smoking 15 cigarettes a day, that has me wondering what’s changed and more importantly, what can we do about it? Sharing his insight today is Michael Bauman, who is a Loneliness Entrepreneur Coach and Host of the Success Engineering podcast. Michael uses his knowledge of the neuroscience around loneliness and social connection, along with his personal experience feeling isolated as a business owner, to help entrepreneurs feel like they are not alone. In this episode, Michael shares why social connection is biologically so important, the factors that have led to the increase in feeling isolated, and actions we can take to begin overcoming loneliness.   Key Takeaways: [2:03] What is loneliness and how has it changed over the last 35 years [12:12] Use internal and external actions to overcome loneliness [17:00] What could be changed about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs  [23:08] The rise of individualism coincides with loneliness in the US [27:21] How Michael sees loneliness in the different countries he has lived [32:52] Raising kids with the balance of performance and play   More of Michael: Success Engineering   Mentions: The Danish Way of Parenting: What the Happiest People in the World Know About Raising Confident, Capable Kids by Jessica Joelle Alexander Dr. Dan Siegel: https://drdansiegel.com/ Start with Why by Simon Sinek Tiny Habits: The Small Changes That Change Everything by BJ Fogg   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

With the demand for help, and lack of candidates, many employers have turned to outbound recruiting. Many of my friends tell me they have been contacted by recruiters, former employers, and even a random encounter. Some don’t budge. Others have jumped at a new chance. Either decision could be right. Let’s discuss vetting a job opportunity. Today I’ll share my process for qualifying, evaluating, and deciding on job opportunities. By listening, you’ll hear me discuss: Uncovering job, team, and organizational fit during the interview process Calculating your total compensation for equal comparison 2 other important factors before making your decision 2 negotiation mistakes best practices for accepting and rejecting an offer   Key Takeaways: [3:06] How to uncover job, team, and organizational fit during the interview process [10:54] Should I move forward with seeing a job offer? [13:28] Calculate your total compensation for equal comparison [15:03] Two other factors to consider: professional development and quality of life [16:39] Don’t make these 2 negotiation mistakes [19:02] Best practices for accepting and rejecting an offer   Mentions: Instructions for leaving a review: https://www.tsirpodcast.com/reviews/ Alexandra Dickinson: www.tsirpodcast.com/7 Mark Herschberg: The Career Toolkit   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Nothing kills the mood like discussing money issues but as much as we don’t want it to be a reality, money is a significant aspect of relationships. If a couple isn’t on the same page financially, you can almost guarantee a bumpy road ahead. There are countless studies that demonstrate money related issues being a major source of divorce and most of these issues aren’t tactical differences, they’re rooted in emotions. This conversation today is about creating a common bond around money with your partner and there is no better person to join me in this discussion than my friend, Ed Coambs. Ed is a financial therapist. He helps couples create collaborative conversation. His understanding of attachment theory, relational building, and financial planning gives him a unique skill set to serve couples looking to work towards financial intimacy. Most of our conversation will center around his book, The Healthy Love & Money Way, which dives into the four attachment styles that impact your financial well-being. Even if you aren’t in a committed relationship right now, this is a great conversation to help you understand how your childhood affected your relationship with money. At the end of this conversation, we’ll also get into the juicy topic of what to do when there are salary differences in the relationship.   Key Takeaways: [2:02] What stops couples from seeing eye to eye on personal finances? [3:13] Attachment theory and the 4 styles of attachment [11:44] How your attachment style will show up in your intimate relationship [14:57] What secure parents do differently [19:32] How Ed’s upbringing shaped his attachment style [30:54] How understanding your partner's attachment style can help you anticipate their needs [40:30] What to do when your partner makes significantly more money   Favorite Quotes: [23:56] “But understanding people’s intentions and understanding my own needs, I was very unaware.” [31:36] “The next important thing is to not weaponize it. We don’t want to make our partner bad for whatever attachment style they have. We want to stay in the space of empathy and compassion.” [43:30] “There is no social status to being a client representative at Vanguard Mutual Funds.”   More of Ed: www.healthyloveandmoney.com Book: https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Love-Money-Way-Attachment-ebook/dp/B097Z2S911   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/

Today’s guest is the spunky J. Kelly Hoey, author of Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships In A Hyper-Connected World. Along with being an author, Kelly is a sought out speaker for her networking insights.   She also has some pretty cool accolades including: -Forbes’ 1 of 5 Women Changing the World of VC/Entrepreneurship -Business Insider’s 1 of the 100 Most Influential Tech Women On Twitter -Inc.’s 1 of 10 Most Well-Connected People in New York City's Startup Scene Crazy enough, Kelly started her career as a corporate lawyer from Toronto. She credits her network for the ability to transform her career but I’ll credit Kelly for the ability to learn such an essential professional superpower so early on. In this episode, we get into her journey on how she began to learn network-building skills. You’ll also learn why networking online isn’t much different than networking in real life, 3 areas to focus on if you want to network better, and why the Give Give Get archetype is an ideal way to approach networking.   Key Takeaways: [10:55] How to network in the online world [24:08] How to stay connected with people [26:34] Give Give Get archetype [36:24] 3 areas to focus on to network better [42:01] A better way to get your answer [46:01] Kelly’s invitation to the PGA championship is a lesson in networking   Favorite Quotes: [9:40] “That activity, that verb of networking, sits within a noun which is your network. And the important thing is having that network there that is responsive.” [12:17] “Treat those digital spaces as physical spaces.” [31:02] “More senior people like me, why are we reaching back down to help? Because someone did it for us.” [44:55] “In networking you are looking for answers, you just need to ask better questions.”   More of Kelly: Book: Build Your Dream Network: Forging Powerful Relationships in a Hyper-Connected World Website: www.jkellyhoey.co   More of TSIR: Find show notes and more at https://www.tsirpodcast.com/ Follow us on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tsirpod/