The Sexual Wellness Sessions

Despite being a condition which impacts one in five hundred women Vaginismus is a rarely discussed and often misunderstood sexual dysfunction. It’s characterised by the involuntary contraction of the muscles around the vagina which can make penetration painful, difficult and often impossible. There are unlimited reasons for why someone might be struggling with this condition, and equally many ways that it may show up for them in terms of challenges with sex, relationships, dating, body confidence and self-esteem. Even though it’s so common there are very few resources available which makes it difficult for people to know where to turn for information and advice.   •••   This is where my guests for today come in as The Vaginismus Network is one of the only platforms with advice from both peers and experts. Kat is one of the co-founders, and Rosie is a volunteer who both feel really passionately about this topic as they have Vaginismus themselves. Connecting over their shared experience and feelings, co-founders Kat and Lisa decided to give others what they both felt that they were missing - a way to connect, talk and get advice on a condition that was missing from the mainstream. The Vaginismus Network hosts online and in-person events, offers a matching service to connect people, and has blogs and advice on everything from smear tests,  to vaginismus and pregnancy, dilator training and personal accounts of Vaginismus.   Instagram @thevagnetwork    Rosie @vaginismuswho    https://www.thevaginismusnetwork.com/   ••• In this conversation the topic of pleasure is central to both Kat and Rosie's stories about them managing their vaginismus and building a more positive relationship with their bodies. This is something that is also a huge part of today's sponsor Lelo's ethos and pleasure products; and for this episode they've prepared a special promotion just for you. Listen to our discussion, and use the unique code KATELELO at lelo.to/KATEXLELO to shop their entire pleasure toy range at a discount. Follow Lelo at @Lelo_official     •••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Love is a huge part of our humanity, and for many of us it plays a big part in how we engage with the world whether it's the love we have for a romantic or sexual partner, familial or friendship love, or the love that we have for ourselves. Our social context has changed so much across the centuries which has impacted how we love and how we think about love. So with all these changes to the world and how we live, has the role of love in our lives changed? Have we adapted love to fit our new environments or are we at a crossroads between the two? ••• There couldn't be a better guest for me to ask these questions of than Evolutionary Anthropologist and author of Why We Love: The New Science Behind our Closest Relationships, Dr Anna Machin. Anna in her own words studies the very nature of being human. Her research, the majority of which has been carried out at the University of Oxford, focuses on the science and anthropology behind our closest relationships, with lovers, friends and family, pets, gods and celebrities.  She is a broadcaster and author of two books: The Life of Dad: The Making of the Modern Father (2018) and Why We Love: The New Science Behind our Closest Relationships (2022)  •••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Anxiety can show up in every area of our lives, and sometimes with what feels like no logical explanation or reason. One of the hardest things can also be not knowing how to communicate or explain to a partner about how we are feeling, particularly if from the outside it looks like nothing has changed. Performance anxiety can show up for us in situations both old and new, and anxiety in other areas of our life can leak into our intimate lives. This has the potential to disrupt the relationship status quo and our ability to be intimate, vulnerable or sexual with one another; or if we are single can get in the way of us meeting someone or dating. So we can see that this is a bidirectional relationship where sex and relationships may cause anxiety, and anxiety may impact our sex lives and relationships.    One of our most natural ways to deal with anxiety is avoidance, but this is polarised with our desire for closeness or intimacy in relationships which can create both inner and outer conflict as we battle between the two. This can present as a wide variety of thoughts, feelings and behaviour which can feel really confusing for both us as individuals, and any partners that we may have.   •••   My guest for this episode is one of my favourite authors, therapists and podcasters who like me is really passionate about taking therapy out of the therapy room. Anna Mathur hosts the podcast The Therapy Edit which has an astounding nearly 1 million downloads, she has authored two books which both went straight into the top 10 of The Sunday Times bestsellers list - Mind Over Mother: Every Mum’s Guide to Worry and Anxiety in the First Years and Know Your Worth & her latest book that's just out is The Little Book of Calm for New Mums .    https://www.annamathur.com/   Instagram @AnnaMathur    •••   This episode was sponsored by Love Sleep by This Works.  This Works understand the connection between sex, sleep and well-being and as experts in the field of sleep and circadian rhythms. They have developed the Love Sleep range, a series of bedroom solutions with a 100% natural Superblend with Ylang Ylang and Patchouli, designed to enhance levels of relaxation in your evening space and promote intimacy – the antidote to digital hyper connectivity and over stimulation, paving the way for better sleep and better relationships.    After using the Love Sleep Pillow Spray 1 in 3 users had more intimate moments. Find Out More At https://www.thisworks.com/products/love-sleep-pillow-spray Instagram @ThisWorks      •••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Sexual experiences involve the participation of both our bodies and our minds; and so the relationship that we have with our bodies and how we think and feel about them can hugely influence our experience of sex. Body confidence is something that comes up a huge amount in the therapy room for both men and women. Whilst it may not be explicitly obvious that it’s why we are struggling with sex and intimacy; challenges with body confidence and negative thoughts about our bodies can distract and disconnect us from these experiences. This can then further inhibit desire, arousal and someone's experience of pleasure.   My guest for this episode is someone who has been through real highs and lows with the relationship with her body, and speaks honestly about how that's had a ripple effect into different areas of her life and wellbeing. Lauren Black is a body confidence and fashion influencer and founder of a new brand called Love Glow Heal. I wanted to have this conversation with Lauren as she has been very public about the fact that she has been in anorexia recovery since June 2020, and she has documented her whole recovery journey online. She's been featured on BBC Radio 1, ITV, GMB and 5LIVE and was interviewed on the BBC documentary The Instagram Effect.   Instagram @imlaurenblack   Love Glow Heal @loveglowheal   •••   This episode focuses on building a healthy and loving relationship with ourselves, learning to love our bodies, and building confidence along the way. And I couldn't have picked a better guest than Lauren Black, whose story is packed with helpful relationship advice and tips on developing strong confidence while staying true to yourself. The award-winning pleasure brand LELO is the sponsor of this episode, with a special treat for all listeners. Use the code KATELELO at lelo.to/KATEMOYLE to pick a luxurious sexy toy and get a gift with every purchase     •••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Break ups are one of the inevitable risks of starting a relationship, and something that most of us will go through in one shape or another during our lifetimes. Break ups are also regularly the theme of stories on our screens, stages, books and in our music and in many ways we are obsessed with love stories and their endings. There are also so many questions around break ups that we don't have the answers to.    Is there a 'good' way to break up? Can we ever be friends with an ex? Can it ever be a good idea to go back?  And how do we get over someone?   So for this conversation I invited my friend and colleague relational psychotherapist Charlotte Fox Weber to talk all about break ups, what happens to us psychologically, how we cope and what it teaches us about life and love.   •••   Charlotte Fox Weber is a relational psychotherapist and writer with a particular interest in desire and our hidden wants. Her book What We Want is coming out this summer (available for pre-orders now) https://geni.us/whatwewant . She founded and headed The School of Life psychotherapy service, and is the co-founder of Examined Life, a therapy collective.   https://charlottefoxweber.com/   Instagram @charlottefoxweberpsychotherapy     ••• This episode was brought to you by Quanna, a CBD company championing sexual wellness as a means to heal and live more fulfilling lives.  Tired of awkward intimate products with nasty ingredients that aggravate your most sensitive areas and uncomfortable intimate moments that leave you underwhelmed? Quanna's Oomf lubricant has a formula that values clean ingredients without harmful additives, it is prebiotic enriched to help maintain the healthy microflora of the intimate areas and keep infections at bay. Oomf also garners the powerful healing properties of CBD to ease discomfort via pelvic relaxation and increase pleasure sensation to reach your peak. Quanna aim to turn taboo into empowerment and deliver and all natural and honest product range that you deserve. To learn more and browse, visit their website https://www.byquanna.com or follow them on Instagram @By.Quanna   Want to try for yourself, use the code: "KATEOOMF" to get 20% off all products.   •••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Whenever I discuss what I do as a job there is much curiosity about what happens behind the door of the therapy room. This is why I really wanted to host a conversation with someone who knows what that's like from the other perspective, as the client. This is because as much as I can talk about therapy from the position of the therapist, it will never give a full view of what the experience of psychosexual therapy is really like.  So my guest for this episode is author of the column Conversations With My Sex Therapist Emma-Louise Boynton. Since going through the experience of psychosexual therapy, and immersing herself in the sexual wellness world, she now hosts the brilliant monthly event series and podcast called Sex Talks at the The London Edition Hotel focused on opening up more honest conversations around sex, desire and the female pleasure taboo. She recently launched female healthcare company Daye's first podcast - Talking Taboos with Daye and is a founding editor at The Stack World. https://www.emmalouiseboynton.com/ Instagram @emmalouiseboynton  •••       This episode is sponsored by iPlaySafe, the new app that is removing the 'ick' from sharing STI test results with potential partners.  Download the free medically-approved app to order your home STI testing kit. Your result will be sent directly to your app verifying your sexual health status, it's then up to you when, with whom, and whether you share it.  The free app also gives you access to articles, podcasts and sexual education content. Join the iPlaySafe community today!    https://www.iplaysafe.app/ Instagram  @iplaysafeapp   •••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

The idea of 'the talk' is something that fills many parents and caregivers with anxiety. The worry about what to say, how to answer questions and getting it right can feel pretty daunting. Paired with the fact that many of us didn't have a perfect version of 'the birds and the bees' chat ourselves means that we don't feel set up to know how to talk to our kids about sex and relationships.    This is why my guest today is the brilliant sex educator Sarah Sproule, who makes it her mission to ensure every parent and caring adult knows how to build deeper connection with their growing kid(s). Sarah has two decades experience as a therapist and a masters in sexuality studies, and is a mother of three teens.   Instagram @Iamsarahsproule   www.sarahsproule.com     •••   This important episode with Sarah was supported by my friends at Lelo who have sponsored this episode. Lelo are leaders in the sexual wellness space, promoting the breaking down of stigmas and helping to empower people to start difficult but important conversations like in this episode. Tune in, and afterwards, use the code KATELELO at lelo.to/KATE, treat yourself to a new pleasure device, and get a gift with your purchase. Make sure to follow @lelo_official for a daily dose of sexual wellness inspiration.   https://www.lelo.com/   •••     The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy   •••

Shame is a feeling that often comes paired with sex, and is an emotion that as a therapist I regularly hear people describe that sex makes them feel. This is why I really wanted to host a conversation around the relationship between sex and shame, where we think it comes from and what we think is maintaining it. Sex is so much more than just the act of what we are doing, and it holds meaning for us which is why when we view what we are doing sexually as shameful, or feel shame around our sexual lives, that it can start to impact us in other ways such as self confidence, self-esteem and relationships. My guest for this conversation is the brilliant Natalie Lee aka StyleMeSunday who has just authored her memoir and manifesto on sexual shame Feeling Myself  https://www.waterstones.com/book/feeling-myself/natalie-lee/9781785043864 . The book is incredibly honest, something that Natalie and I discuss as going up against shame and challenging the feeling that it should keep us silent. Natalie digs deep into her relationship with sex and shame, and talks about how when she realised how much it was holding her back, that she then started to get curious and explore the process of freeing herself from some of that shame. Natalie began her career as a midwife before starting her blog, Style Me Sunday, in July 2012. Over nearly a decade, she has grown her platform from a blog to a brand, and now reaches women across various different mediums. Instagram @StyleMeSunday  Natalie's Book Feeling Myself  https://www.waterstones.com/book/feeling-myself/natalie-lee/9781785043864   •••   This episode was brought to you by Ferly, the sexual wellness app empowering women and non-binary folk to overcome sexual challenges affecting their relationships. To date they’ve helped over 200,000 women struggling with things like, low libido, inability to orgasm, low body confidence and/or pain during sex. Ferly’s achieved this by guiding women through science-based tools and techniques that help them feel better in their bodies and their beds.    The app is available on IOS and Android. download it for free today and start your journey to a healthier, more confident and more pleasurable life. I have the privilege of working with Ferly as their resident advisor and I truly believe that the app has the ability to be transformative for female sexual wellness.   https://weareferly.com/ Instagram  @weareferly      •••     The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy   •••

Our sex lives are subject to many gendered messages and narratives which shape how we think that our sex lives 'should' look. Engrained messages about masculinity, manhood and how men should act in sexual situations can influence sex lives both consciously and unconsciously, in what today's guest Cam Fraser describes as the idea of 'Man Box Culture'.   Cam and I unpack some of the myths of masculinity and sex that are impacting men.  We also talk about how the language that we use can be influential and how opening up our definitions of sex and sexuality can be helpful for everyone.   •••   Cam Fraser is a Certified Professional Sex Coach, Certified Sexologist, Registered Counselor, and Registered Tantric Yoga Teacher. His work integrates scientifically validated, medically accurate information about sexual health, with sacred sexuality teachings from the mystery traditions. As a coach, he helps men go beyond surface-level sex and into full-bodied, self-expressed, pleasure-oriented sexual experiences free of anxiety or shame.   https://www.cam-fraser.com/   Instagram @thecamfraser   •••   This episode is sponsored by iPlaySafe, the new app that is removing the 'ick' from sharing STI test results with potential partners.  Download the free medically-approved app to order your home STI testing kit. Your result will be sent directly to your app verifying your sexual health status, it's then up to you when, with whom, and whether you share it.  The free app also gives you access to articles, podcasts and sexual education content. Join the iPlaySafe community today!    https://www.iplaysafe.app/ Instagram  @iplaysafeapp   •••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.   Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy

Induced menopause refers to when menopause happens after surgical removal of the ovaries, radiation or chemotherapy damage to the ovaries, or from the use of other medications to intentionally induce menopause as part of the treatment of certain diseases. The main difference to the process of natural menopause is that there is a rapid onset of symptoms rather than the gradual onset that occurs with natural menopause. It’s also often happening at the same time as diagnosis, treatment or management of certain health conditions or diseases which can’t be ignored as a part of someone’s experience.   My guests for this episode are the brilliant and incredible knowledgable Dr Hannah Short & Dr Liz O’Riordan; both who not only have extensive professional experience in this area but have personally experienced induced menopause.   ••   Liz O'Riordan is an international speaker, broadcaster and award-winning co-author of 'The Complete Guide to Breast Cancer: How to Feel Empowered and Take Control'. In 2015 (aged 40) she was diagnosed with Stage 3 breast cancer whilst working as a Consultant Breast Surgeon. In 2018 she had a locoregional recurrence on her chest wall. The side effects of treatment for this meant she had to retire as a surgeon in 2019.   During chemotherapy she started an award-winning blog about her experiences (www.liz.oriordan.co.uk) and now talks all over the world about how to improve patient care. In 2020 she launched her podcast – Don't Ignore The Elephant – that talks about the things no-one else does, like sex, death and body image.   Instagram - @oriordanliz    Dr Hannah Short is a GP and an accredited specialist in Menopause and Premenstrual Disorders, recognised by the British Menopause Society (BMS), The International Association for Premenstrual Disorders (IAPMD) and The National Association for Premenstrual Syndromes (NAPS).  Hannah has a particular interest in induced (medical and surgical) menopause, premature ovarian insufficiency (POI) and hormone sensitivity disorders. She is a member of the IAPMD Clinical Advisory Board and the Surgical Menopause Advisory Committee, and has previously worked as a volunteer doctor for The Daisy Network (a charity dedicated to girls and women diagnosed with POI). Hannah also has personal experience of premature surgical menopause, having undergone a hysterectomy and ovary removal at the age of 35. This drives her passion and informs her work. She is the co-author of “The Complete Guide to POI and Early Menopause”, due for publication in June 2022.   https://drhannahshort.co.uk/   ••   Join us for a special episode dedicated to International Masturbation Month! Or, as some may call it - May. For this occasion, powered by the leading makers of award-winning luxury sex toys at LELO, we have a naughty surprise for you. Tune in, pick yourself a new pleasure device and get a special gift with every purchase using the code KATELELO at  lelo.to/LELOxKATE Don’t forget to follow @lelo_official for a daily dose of sexual wellness inspiration.     ••   The Sexual Wellness Sessions is hosted by Kate Moyle, a Psychosexual & Relationship Therapist and Certified Psycho-Sexologist. Kate believes that so much of what needs normalising when it comes to sex and relationships can be changed through conversation; and this is why the podcast is focused around the idea of hosting informal but informative conversations.    Follow Kate on Instagram at @KateMoyleTherapy