Maximize Your Influence

Have you ever had a conversation that just didn't get results? Or even worse, one that felt completely fake? On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview John R Stoker, author of "Overcoming Fake Talk - How To Hold Real Conversations that Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results." This is a fantastic new book (available at "overcomingfaketalkbook.com", by the way) that will show you how to have more productive conversations. Whether this is with a co worker, a teenager, or a boss, you'll find it to be highly useful! Fake talk is any conversation that no matter what is said, just fails to produce results. You may be under the impression you received a commitment from somebody or that somebody is going to do something. But what ends up happening? Nothing. We typically don't find out we've engaged in fake talk until after the fact, which is extrememly frustrating! One of the reason's people engage in fake talk is because they are conflict adverse. Most of us don't enjoy getting in situations where think we will disappoint them or make them angry. This causes us to steer conversations around productivity in favor of not causing conflict. However, most of the time when we are avoiding confrontation it's because we assume there will be a problem. This, many times, is just an assumption. Don't assume that somebody will necessarily be mad (unless it's blatantly obvious). You never know how they will react. In addition keep in mind...many times THEY want to avoid conflict too!

Closing a deal isn't about a slick line at the end of your presentation. It's about understanding what your prospect is REALLY saying when they say things like "I need to think about it" or "I don't have the money." First we need to figure out if we are dealing with a real objection or one that is just pure "venom." If somebody is just objecting to be a pain in the butt, there isn't much you can do there other than to cut your losses. But if they have a genuine question or concern, or even a "knee jerk" reaction, that's something you can work with. So what's a knee jerk reaction? This is an instinctual resistance to being persuaded. Your prospect doesn't feel good about doing business with you so they throw out something that's common to say like "I don't have money" or "I need to talk to my spouse." The best way to reply to knee jerk reactions is with questions. The more questions you can ask the more you flush out the real objection and the reason they feel uncomfortable. It's important to evaluate at least twice a year where your leads are coming from. Are you talking to prospects that have the ability to buy your product? Continually upgrade the quality of your leads (to the extent that you can). Beyond that, focusing on questions and continually drilling down to the prospects core need will eliminate knee jerk reactions. How do you know you've drilled down far enough? When the prospect starts talking about their problem on an emotional level. Now you know you're in the zone. On this episode Kurt and Steve also discuss how to handle situations where you persuade somebody who then has to take your product infront of a committee or supervisor...without you being present. Be sure to tune into the episode to hear more!

Have you ever met somebody that didn't seem all that sharp but could sell circles around you? Here at Maximize Your Influence we help you hone your persuasion skills to generate the income and results you want! As always, send your comments, questions, and ideas to maximizeyourinfluence@gmail.com. Also: Kurt is willing to give you a FREE audio download of his book Maximum Influence if you leave a review of this podcast on Itunes! Just log into Itunes and leave a review, then email us at maximizeyourinfluence@gmail.com and we'll email you a link to download the book, for free. On this episode's Geeky Article Moment (yeah, we're capitalizing it now because it's officially a thing), Kurt discusses a recent study by Michigan State University. As it turns out, when employees see superviors act verbally abusive or demeaning to employees, it gives subconcious permission for the rest of the employees to demean everyone else. This really isn't a surprise. The culture of a business is established from the top down! Next, Kurt and Steve discuss one of the oldest sales training categories: closing skills. More appropriately, closing skills are a call to action. Many persuaders think closing involves a clever line or two towards the end of their presentation. Things like the Ben Franklin Close, the Alternative Close, or the Bait and Switch are old tired tactics now. Car dealers are notorious for the "what do I have to do to get you into this car today" line. Most of the time lines like this just don't work. When closing skills do work, there is a common denominator: opening. Effective persauders ask questions throughout the presentation to establish trust and help the prospect know that they are actually listening and understanding. Closing skills are only effective once this trust and value has been established. Once it's done they are quite effective in getting people across the finish line. But using them without trust alienates and offends them!

In Episode 54 of Maximize Your Influence, Kurt and Steve start things off by discussing a recent study about the chemical oxytocin. According to the study, the more oxytocin present in somebody's system, the more accepting they are of others. This of course leads to better social skills and possibly, the more persuadeable they are. Many business and marketing firms are trying to trigger the release of this chemical through smell. Heaven help us all! The core of this episdoe deals with how to help your prospects and employees see the overall vision of what you are trying to accomplish. People like to follow somebody with a vision. If you're having trouble getting people to buy your product or follow your cause, you aren't instilling your vision in others. Those who can't articulate a clear and concise vision won't be successful, period. One key part of instilling vision, however, is WIFFM (What's In It For Me). Sure, being apart of an exciting vision helps...but if there is no perceived benefit (or realized benefit over time), your credibiltiy is permanently damaged. We all like to be apart of a cause bigger than ourselves. But call us shallow...we want something out of the deal too! Kurt and Steve relay this into a conversation about successful politicians. The most successful politicians are those whow are able to instill a vision in their constituents, but not be too specific to the point that they can be held accoutable for not fulfilling their vision later. That sure makes you want to show up and vote, doesn't it? Not only is it important to instill a vision in your prospects and employees, but yourself. If you can't see, taste, touch, and feel the big picture, you'll find yourself subtly resisting they key things you need to do to move forward. A mind that lacks clarity will subconsiously avoid anything associated with that lack of clarify. However when there is absolute clarify, fear is removed and we aggressively attack our goals.

A whole year of Maximize Your Influence Podcasts are now behind us! And listenrship in the Islamic Republic of Iran is still strong (that has to be a fluke, right)! After two podcasts delving into the female brain, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent article that reveals that women get cheated at the negotiation table more than men. Researchers at the University of Pennsylvania and UC Berkely found that women were "warmer and more kind" in negotiations, and thus were more taken advantage of. Getting into the remainder of the podcast, Kurt and Steve discuss what it takes to inspire others in the work place. But how can you do this when/if the person you are inspiring has a horrible job or a position that is just without inspiration? There are a few ways to do this and you don't necessarily have to have an exciting job to do it. Boosting the self esteem of those that work for you or who you work with goes a long way. When people feel appreciated and liked, even menial tasks can beomce fulfilling to them. Second, unite your team to a common goal. If they feel like they are always in the trenches and don't see the big picture of what they are apart of they will never be inspired. Third, find a common enemy. Sure, this sounds a little dark but business leaders, religous leaders, and politicians have used it through all time to achieve their goals (both good and bad). Finally, create an atmosphere where people can offer input. If they feel iike they don't have any say then they quckly just won't care...about anything. You'll be stuck in a situation where your employees or partners "work just hard enough to not get fired, and where you pay them just enough so they don't quit."

Don't worry, it's still us! We just have a new Itunes and podcast logo. Kurt and Steve discuss the recent news in the Middle East and the conflict between Israel and Hamas. They discuss the generations of emotion that are involved in the conflict and why a resolution is unlikely. They probably offend both sides of the issue as well, which is par for the podcast! They also discuss an entertaining blunder by United Airlines. Here's a link to the letter. Judge for yourself what the blunder is or feel free to tune into the podcast to hear all about it. Kurt and Steve conculde this episode by finishing their interview with Maureen Simon...an expert on the female brain and what it takes to persuade and influence females more effectively.

The new www.maximizeyourinfluence.com is up! Not so much running...but definitely up. Pardon our dust as we continue to refine the new site. You can still, however, download the latest podcast episodes and read the blog. In the "geeky article moment" for the week, Kurt highlights a recent article from CNN.com. A company in Chicago recently started timing how long employees were spending in the bathroom. More than six minutes got you in trouble. Kurt and Steve discuss why this is a bad move from a leadership and influence angle (like they really needed to point that out to you). On this episode, Kurt and Steve interview Maureen Simon, an expert in the differnces between the male and female brains. From the time of birth, it's typically programmed in us that we are a man or a woman. This doesn't mean that they don't cross over somewhat. But typically men and women have different attributes and different expectations in the career path. This interview with Maureen is part one. Check it out for some great insights into the female brain and be sure to stay tuned for episode 52 for the rest of the interview!

Remember: please subscribe to Maxmize Your Influence on Itunes, Stitcher Radio, the Windows Market Place, or whatever service you use to download podcasts! We appreciate you listening to the show! After giving some nots so great (and un-licesned) legal advice, Kurt and Steve discuss a recent study about "moral code." Individuals are more likely to compromise their morals when they are in a group setting. We do this because we feel more anonymous and less responsible. This is all intuitive. But keep in mind, this means that persuading a group is a lot different than persuading one on one. As group numbers increase, we often see "mob mentality" set in. This has a negative connotation but when persuading you can use mob mentality to your advantage. This epsidoe continues into a debate as to whether there is a difference between rapport and people skills. Kurt wins the debate as he often does. People skills is being able to get a long with somebody and keep things amiable. Rapport is deeper connection that makes us feel like we've known somebody our whole lives. When we have rapport, we have a relationship that lasts a long time and that generates favorable persuasion and negotiation results. While rapport might be difficult to define...we know what it is when we see it or feel it. Kurt and Steve continue by discussing some of the things that are evident when there is a strong rapport. This includes relaxed body language, mirrored body language, physical touch, eye contact, and smiling (the real kind that you can see in the eyes). One of the biggest blunders people make when they have rapport is to change their demenaor once they ask for "money." This shatters rapport and is one of the top complaints about sales people.

We hope you had a great Fourth of July holiday! Even if you didn't celebrate American indepencence day and the 4th of July was just a regular day for you...we hope you had a great one anyway! Remember to subscribe to the Maximize Your Influence Podcast via Itunes, the Windows Market Place, or Sticher Radio. And as always, you can listen to the show at www.maximizeyourinfluence.com. The show begins by Steve hijacking the Geeky Article Moment form Kurt. This week's article discusses the new science of forensic handwriting style analysis. This is different than analyzing material that is hand written. This particular science analyzes how somebody forms words and sentences and can thus (allegedly) prove if somebody wrote something or not. With more and more writing being done on keyboards (rendering handwriting analysis almost obsolete) Modern law enforcement may start using the acutaly syntax to prove the authorship of writing. In the era of emails and text messages this is sure to catch on more and more! Have you ever dealt with a salesperson who avoided eye contact with you? How did you feel? Eyes are the window to the soul. Effective eye contact can make or break a presentation. On the other hand, too much eye contact can intimidate or come across as a threat. So how often should we be making eye contact? The first thing to understand is that we need to "mirror" eye contact. If somebody isn't making a lot of eye contact with you you need to dial it back a little. The general rule is, however, about 70%. That gives enough eye contact to let somebody know you see them and understand...without creeping them out.

After some useless banter about who should be allowed to wear bathing suits, the Fourth of July, and barbeques, Kurt and Steve launch into Episode 48. First, they tackle an article about how word choice reflects somebody's mood. It doesn't happen the way you think. As it turns out, when somebody is feeling good they use more words with a long "i" vowell. When they aren't feeling good they use more words with a long "o" vowell. The human brain is amazing! You can learn more about the study here. As they continue to break down the science of charisma, Kurt and Steve address people skills. Thousands of books have been written on the topic and it's no secret we need to be good at it. Kurt and Steve break it down by first discussing one of the key components: first impressions. There are a variety of things that tend to sabotage a first impression. Physical appearance, bad breath, bad posture, poor dress, demenanor, and vocal tone all affect people skils. Another great way to show your people skills is to treat everbody equally. Whether your dealing with the CEO of the company or a low level clerk...treat people well. Be interested in them. Make it your goal to make their day better from having come across you. Brian Tracy said "you can tell a lot about somebody by how they treat the bus boys of the world." Always always keep the people skills swich on! Kurt and Steve finish the show by featuring a new perusasion ninja. This persuasion ninja also happens to be a professional pan-handler! Yes, you've got to hear this! Listen to the episode for the whole story!