Raising Boys & Girls

In this episode, Sissy and David sit down with two beloved Enneagram Sixes: longtime Daystar founder and leader Melissa Trevathan and Daystar counselor Allye Gray. They explore how differently Sixes can look—phobic and counterphobic—and how both expressions are driven by the same core issues of fear, loyalty, and a deep desire for safety and goodness. Allye shares candidly about being a “phobic” Six: an inner world full of what-ifs and how her anxiety can be palpable in parenting. She talks about learning to trust her own instincts, tolerate discomfort, and surround herself with people who stretch her beyond worry into courage and play. Melissa reflects on decades as a “counterphobic” Six, including childhood stories of pushing through fear, starting Daystar when counseling wasn’t common, and discovering that fear doesn’t have to control her life or leadership. Together they offer thoughtful encouragement for parents who are Sixes—and those raising Six kids—naming how anxiety can be misunderstood, how important it is to name dread and seek truth, and how community, Scripture, and play can help Sixes move from living out of fear to parenting more from love, trust, and joy. . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Access Raising Boys and Girls courses here! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the fascinating world of Enneagram Sixes, celebrated for their loyalty and courage. Discover the challenges they face, like worst-case thinking and indecision. Gain practical advice for Six parents, emphasizing routines and modeling bravery. Learn how to support children who may be Sixes by reassuring them and promoting safe risks. Dive into recommended resources that enhance courage and resilience in kids. This engaging discussion reveals how Sixes are the glue that holds families and communities together!

Enneagram 5 parents Lauren Rupley and Kris Plunkett talk curiosity, intentionality, and energy management in family life. They describe how fives’ love of learning, patient problem-solving, and reflective nature become strengths—sparking great questions, thoughtful rhythms, and delight in kids’ unique wiring. They also name common struggles: over-researching instead of trusting intuition, scarce-energy mindsets, stepping back to observe rather than engaging in hard moments, and turning kids’ challenges into a referendum on their own preparedness. Practical help includes building daily downtime, modeling conscious tech boundaries, asking “Is this about me or about my child?”, showing vulnerability, and finding mentor parents a few steps ahead. Resources mentioned: Stephen Biesty's Incredible Cross-Sections Black Beauty by Anna Sewell The Black Stallion by Walter Farley . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Access Raising Boys and Girls courses here! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. WAYFAIR: Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. KIWICO: Tinker, Create, and Celebrate this holiday with KiwiCo! Get up to 50% off your first crate at kiwico.com, promo code RBG. JOLIE: Jolie will give you your best skin & hair guaranteed. Head to jolieskinco.com/RBG to try it out for yourself with FREE shipping. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Enneagram Fives—the Investigators—bring curiosity, insight, independence, and a calming, steady presence to both life and parenting. Sissy and David highlight how Fives notice patterns others miss, think objectively, set healthy boundaries, and dive deep into learning. Their measured energy and calm in crisis can be a superpower at home, helping kids regulate and feel safe. They also explore common stretches: retreating into the mind, mistaking self-protection for not needing relationships, cynicism/sarcasm when fear rises, and feeling drained by the constant demands of family life. The episode offers grace (manna for today) and practical growth steps for Five parents—express warmth (not just wisdom), choose presence over preparation, and engage emotions before problem-solving. For kids who may be Fives, they share ways to reassure, gently invite connection, honor refueling needs, and nurture quirky passions. Books mentioned in the podcast:  The Worry-Free Parent by Sissy Goff . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Access Raising Boys and Girls courses here! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. EVERYDAY DOSE: Get 45% off your first subscription order of 30-servings of Coffee+ or Bold+. You’ll also receive a starter kit with over $100 in free gifts including a rechargeable frother and gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com/RGB or entering RGB at checkout. You’ll also get FREE gifts throughout the year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a heartfelt and deeply human conversation with two incredible Enneagram Fours—therapist Kendra Allen and artist Jon McLaughlin. Jon McLaughlin is a Nashville-based recording artist, songwriter, and pianist who also co-hosts a parenting podcast with his friend Dave Barnes. Kendra Allen is a therapist and mom whose work centers on authenticity, emotional health, and helping people grow with self-awareness and compassion. Both bring such insight into what it means to live and parent from a place of depth, emotion, and authenticity. Together, they explore the gifts and challenges of being a Four—the ability to sit with sadness and create beauty from it, as well as the struggle to focus on what’s missing instead of what’s present. They share moving stories from their own parenting journeys—how empathy can sometimes become over-identification, how creativity and authenticity shape their homes, and how they’re learning to hold both depth and lightness in their relationships with their kids. From Jon’s tender story about his daughter saying, “I like being with you when I’m sad,” to Kendra’s reminder that “your work is a gift,” this episode is full of grace, honesty, and hope for every parent seeking connection. We’d also think you’d like: Ep.170 Parenting through Infertility, Loss and Adolescence with Kendra Allen and Ep. 119 Parenting with Vulnerability with Jon and Amy McLaughlin. . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide. HIYA: Visit hiyahealth.com/RBG to get 50% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Explore the unique strengths of Enneagram Fours, who enrich the world with creativity and empathy. Discover their struggles with exceptionalism and self-absorption, as well as helpful routines to manage daily life. Learn how Fours excel in deep listening, making them great parents, yet may need guidance to balance emotional attachment with challenge. Get insights on nurturing both Four girls and boys, focusing on emotional expression and identity exploration while encouraging purposeful action. Remember, feelings often pass in just 90 seconds!

Kelli Haywood and Brandon Verner, both Enneagram Type 3 parents, share their experiences of balancing ambition with meaningful family connections. They discuss the pressure to perform and how it affects children, emphasizing the need for emotional presence. The duo offers practical tips for slowing down and fostering open communication. They highlight the importance of adventure and family traditions to create a safe, accepting environment where kids can thrive. Their insights encourage parents to embrace vulnerability and connection over productivity.

Dive into the fascinating world of Enneagram Threes, the Achievers, who bring energy and leadership to every endeavor. Discover how their impressive productivity can lead to the pressure of equating worth with work. The discussion highlights the challenges of image-conscious parenting in a social media era and the importance of creating space for rest and vulnerability. Learn practical tips for fostering deeper connections with your kids and the vital reminder that love is based on who you are, not what you achieve.

In this week’s episode, we sit down with two of our favorite Twos—Heather Flener and Sherman Bucher—for a conversation full of warmth, laughter, and self-awareness. These two embody the best of what it means to be “The Helper,” and their stories bring the Enneagram Two to life in such relatable ways. Heather and Sherman share how their caring hearts show up in parenting, friendships, and everyday life—and how that same deep empathy can sometimes make it hard to step back and care for themselves. We loved hearing them talk about learning to set boundaries, finding rest, and practicing the kind of self-care that allows them to keep loving well without burning out. From stories about childhood moments of “helping” to reflections on parenting as a Two, this conversation is full of insight and encouragement for anyone who gives a lot to others. And in true Two fashion, they even close things out by describing their ideal meal—small, intimate gatherings where connection is rich and laughter is easy. It’s a tender, joy-filled conversation that will make you want to call the helper in your life and say thank you. Book referenced in the episode: Girls on the Edge and Boys Adrift by Leonard Sax . . . . . .  ⁠Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience⁠ ⁠Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage⁠⁠ Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠raisingboysandgirls.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ . . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. A special thank you to our sponsors: QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. THRIVE MARKET: Head over to ⁠ThriveMarket.com/rbg⁠ to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.  NIV APPLICATION BIBLE: Save an additional 10% on any NIV Application Bible and NIV Application Commentary Resources by visiting faithgateway.com/nivab and using promo code RBG. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. KA’CHAVA: Go to Ka'Chava and use code RBG for 15% off your next order.  OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off site wide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This discussion highlights the warmth and nurturing nature of Enneagram Twos, the Helpers. They possess an instinctive ability to sense others' needs but often neglect their own. The hosts explore the emotional strengths and challenges Twos face, including the danger of resentment and the desire for validation. Practical advice is shared on setting boundaries and fostering independence in children. With humor, they liken Twos to golden retrievers—dedicated and loving—reminding them of their inherent worth beyond their helpfulness.