Conversations with Annalisa Barbieri

Joanna Harrison, a couple psychotherapist and former divorce lawyer, shares insights on what constitutes a 'real' relationship. She emphasizes that real relationships often involve healthy arguments, revealing deeper emotions and differences. The conversation highlights how media portrayals can distort expectations and the everyday work required in relationships, from communication to navigating mixed feelings. Joanna also discusses the five essential arguments couples must have, the importance of repairing after conflicts, and why despite challenges, relationships are worth the effort.

The in-laws, long the butt of jokes but in reality rich fodder for my Guardian mail bag. Of course, none of us think of ourselves as troublesome in-laws, but maybe we are? In this episode I talk to psychotherapist and CEO of the association for family therapy and systemic practise. Hannah has been a family and couples psychotherapist who has worked in the mental health service for thirty years. She’s also an associate professor at the university of exeter and deputy director of a clinical training department called CEDAR - clinical education development and research - that sits within the university’s psychology department.We talk about all the usual in-law problems, work out that three things seem to underpin them and I present my own theory.Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Talking about suicide is never easy, yet it's essential. In this difficult episode both Dr Stubley and I bring personal experiences to the conversation in the hope that it might facilitate your own conversations.Dr Jo Stubley is a consultant psychiatrist in psychotherapy and leads the adult section of the trauma service at the NHS Tavistock Centre. Jo is a member of the British Psychoanalytic Society. Regular listeners will recognise that Jo is a returning conversationalist - this is our third episode together. The first one, on trauma in series one, would make a good listening companion piece to this one. If you have suicidal feelings help is available: https://www.papyrus-uk.org and https://www.samaritans.orgLet us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do some people find it so hard to talk about money? And whilst it's not a romantic thing to bring up it's absolutely essential if you're thinking of buying a property with someone or moving in with someone. As Chris says if it's difficult to bring up at the beginning of the relationship it's a whole lot harder to bring up at the end when things may have gone wrong.A lot of the letters I get at the Guardian are about Wills and Will disputes and whilst it's about the money, Chris and I also look into what money can stand in for, what it represents and how it can reflect the value we put (or not) on ourselves.If this episode has tempted you to get a financial advisor the please make sure whomever you deal with is registered with the Financial Conduct Authority https://register.fca.org.uk/s/.Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sibs is a charity which supports children and adults who grow up with a brother or sister with additional needs or a long term health condition. And Linda Owen is the rather brilliant, compassionate and informed (aptly) Information Officer for Sibs.A lot of the advice Linda gives can also be applied in a family which doesn’t have a child with these additional needs, and there’s a lot to learn here about sibling dynamics. But of course when a child does have additional needs the sibling can often get overlooked and their needs can feel - especially to them - as not important in the scheme of things. Linda talks about how to have conversations with your children, how to get support for them or for yourself. Note: as Linda explains we use the term sibling in this episode to denote the person who doesn’t have the additional needs, and the ones that do as brother or sister.A good companion episode to this one, is The Secrets of the Sibling Relationship with psychotherapist Nicole Addis in Series 1.The Sibs website: sibs.org.uk.Let us know if you feel this episode has brought up any thoughts, or if you have ideas for other episodes: conversationswithannalisa@gmail.comIf you'd like to support us you can leave a one off donation here: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriIf you'd like to listen to this episode, past or future ones, ad free then consider becoming a patron on Patreon, from just £3 a month. You also get early access to episodes.Thanks so much for listening and please remember to share with friends and if you feel able to, leave a review, it really helps.The producer is Hester Cant, the music is Toby Dunham and our artwork is by Lo Cole.IG: @annalisabarbieriAll links to pretty much everything else I do: linktr.ee/annalisabarbieriSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mark Vahrmeyer, a UKCP-registered psychotherapist and writer on narcissism, dives into the complexities of this often-misused term. He clarifies how everyone can exhibit narcissistic traits without being a true narcissist. The conversation explores the thin line between egocentric behavior and enduring narcissistic personalities. Vahrmeyer also discusses cultural fascination with narcissists, the developmental origins of narcissistic behaviors, and the challenges in treating these individuals. Plus, they touch on how social media amplifies these traits in today’s society.

Child psychotherapist Rachel Melville-Thomas discusses toddlers' brain development, emotional regulation, and discipline strategies. She advises matching a toddler's intensity, avoiding technology as a distraction, and using events instead of numbers for discipline. Rachel also explores helping toddlers manage emotions and separation, emphasizing the importance of acknowledging feelings and creating connections.

This is not a subject many of us discuss is it? Birth plans, maybe, weddings, definitely, but we will all die and we all need a send off, however small and modest.This episode isn't really about planning your own funeral, although it can be of course (but as we'll see, don't be too prescriptive) but it's more that this potentially distressing subject - a funeral is the ultimate distress purchase - is important. Why? A good funeral is the start of grieving, it can help people come together to remember the person who has died.Because we don't tend to want to discuss funerals (although this is changing, thank goodness) it's very easy to just go with what your high street funeral director offers and not realise there can be another way. Do you know you don't even need to use a funeral director? Or not for all of it? You don't need a hearse, either, or a coffin, or you can make the coffin. There are various possibilities to make funerals more personal instead of, as Louise describes them 'templated'. We discuss woodland burials, the law around funerals (surprisingly few) and much more, including 'what's next' in terms of body disposal.I think a good funeral is one where, if the person who has died were to magically come alive, they wouldn't feel out of place. And a good funeral can be very healing for those left behind.Louise is a progressive funeral director and her London based company is called Poetic Endings. She is also the co-director of an award winning festival and community called Life, Death, Whatever which seeks to change how we talk about death and dying andLouise co-authored of an excellent book called We All Know How This Ends. And we do, don't we? Know how this ends. So let's start talking about it.Here are the links talked about in this episode.Josh’s funeral: https://thegoodgriefproject.co.uk/our-films/https://www.poetic-endings.com/when-someone-dieshttps://www.lifedeathwhatever.comhttps://www.goodfuneralguide.co.ukhttp://www.naturaldeath.org.ukhttps://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/jan/06/it-was-an-incredibly-enriching-day-the-families-taking-control-of-deathMake a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The way labour and birth is depicted on film and TV has bugged me for some years and, I think, does little to make women feel empowered. This episode isn't about how or where to give birth - that's your choice - but we do talk about what happens in an uncomplicated vaginal birth.Amy is the Lead Research Midwife in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at the university of Cambridge, and study coordinator for the Pregnancy Outcome Prediction Study 2 (POPS2). She's previously worked as a senior research midwife in the NHS, and as the Eastern Regions Champion Research Midwife for the NIHR. Amy received a Chief Midwifery Officer Silver Award in 2020 for her work in reproductive health and childbirth research.Amy has also been an independent midwife, which is when I met her as she delivered my second child.Birthrights is a great charity that helps you understand your rights when giving birth in the UK.https://www.birthrights.org.ukMake a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is our first listener requested episode. "Joanne" (not her real name) asked us if we could do an episode on trust, after her husband had an affair. Although Joanne asked some specific questions ("how do I get the trust back/is it good to talk about it"), Dr Blumenthal and I discuss this but also what trust is at its core, beyond romantic relationships, what it means to trust, how do we trust, is it necessary to trust someone to love them, and how to get trust back when it's been lost.Dr Blumenthal spoke so eloquently in series 2, on Intimacy, and that is a great companion piece to this one.Make a one off donation: https://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieriWant this podcast ad free? Head over to my Substack page: https://pocketannalisa.substack.com/ Follow us: Twitter: @AnnalisaB, Instagram: @pocketannalisaSupport this show http://supporter.acast.com/conversations-with-annalisa-barbieri. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.