Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

I talk a lot on this show about Expectation Hangovers - how they are the disappointments and curve balls that teach us and grow us. But, it's also important to acknowledge the unexpected surprises that delight us and support us in magical ways. That's why it is important not to plan every little thing, to make space for the unexpected, and to leave more time for soul food. In order to be in this place of space and possibility, we have to come into right relationship with uncertainty. What is a right relationship? Realize that we never have total control and that nothing is ever 100% certain. During times of transition, we should honor that we are in a season of change in our lives. We should not source our sense of feeling safe with being certain of everything. Know that we are always being supported and being guided by the universe even when we feel most lost. Today's caller is Elle, who called me to discuss her upcoming life transition and the fear she has about it. We hear in this call yet another example of how there is almost always a deeper issue underneath our questions. As I began to shine a light on the dark places Elle had inside, she began to connect the dots and came to some of her own conclusions. Often, people stay stuck on their current problems or questions rather than asking the deeper questions. We can not arrive at clarity until we clear the deeper, underlying issues. We can not move into our full potential if we are playing it safe all the time. Change does not happen in our comfort zone. Bust through your limiting belief that no one will be there for you if you take a leap of faith or make a change. There are so many new guides, angels and soul friends who show up for us at exactly the time we need them to. Changing your vibrations also changes your consciousness. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a transition time or feeling uncertain about things? Are you grasping for control, safety and security? Are you projecting your security on to another person, job or something else outside of you? Do you ever feel alone? Would you like to feel more connected to or supported by the universe? Elle 's Question: Elle wants to know how to transition into her new life after years of military service and as a newly single person. Elle 's Key Insights and Aha's: She is creating her own fear. She has always wanted to be an entrepreneur. She craves security because she missed out on a developmental phase of her childhood. She dates emotionally unavailable men because that is how her father was. How to get over it and on with it: She can heal her lifetime longing for a father. Take this opportunity to delve into the divine masculine and the divine feminine powers. She needs to let go of belief systems that tell her security comes from outside of herself. Assignments and Takeaways: Get into a right relationship with your uncertainty. Follow those 'what if' statements with something good. Make future tripping a desirable destination. Find a lightworker to work with. Have one person to shine a light on your dark places. Forgive your parents. Remember that life is full of magical uncertainties and the divine will always have your back. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Arriane Alexander is The Rock Your Life Coach with a Masters Degree in Spiritual Psychology. She helps female entrepreneurs and businesswomen step into new possibilities so they can create a life and career they've always dreamed of. She spent over 12 years as a high level executive in the fashion business and walked away from that successful career to follow a heartfelt dream of succeeding in the entertainment industry and as a transformational Life Coach. Today, she works consistently as an Actor on TV shows like Justified, Grey's Anatomy and The People vs O.J. Simpson. On top of that, she is the Host of two TV shows, and booked numerous commercials. In other words, she's created the life of her dreams, and as a Rock Your Life coach for over a decade, she helps women do the same in a fun, inspired, and transformative way. She works with women all over the world –Entrepreneurs, Health and Fitness Experts, and Executive Business Women to help them overcome their fears, self-doubt and any other obstacles blocking their path, to create the foundation for their new life, and a journey to take them there. Is it risky? Of course it is. Without risk, there's no life, no excitement, and no happiness. There's no fun, either. But once a woman starts taking risks, once she start taking bold actions, she will discover that what she thought of as impossible is suddenly within your reach. She will do things she's never done before, and wonder, "Who is this confident, radiant, and fabulous person?" It's her. It's been her all along, and Arriane is with her every step of the way to Rock Her Life. www.arrianefreebie.com For Your FREE Video Series on How To Bust Through Limiting Beliefs www.arrianealexander.com` Facebook.com/arrianealexander IG: @arrianealexander Twitter: @arriane1000 Snapchat: @arrianealex Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCIIx-kpVFElpPdXCipUtMWg

At my signature retreat, many of the women who attended seemed to have amazing connections and gone through physical transformations – in just three short days. It made me think of questions I get a lot, which are "How do I get to a state of joy and deep connection, and stay there?" and "How do I get rid of hurt feelings from the past, which are impacting my ability to be happy in the present?" When the retreat started, we didn't have the intention to be "happy" or better. We started the retreat with acceptance and love for exactly where we were. Acceptance is the first law of the spirit. This is where the healing and the transformation always begin. We, humans, learn through contrast. Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt. Suppression, repression and pretending you are fine are not bringing love to your dark places. The journey is worth it, because on the other side of the dark is joy. True elation comes from being liberated from the judgments and limiting beliefs that unresolved issues and suppressed emotions perpetuate. Today's caller, Jennifer, wants to know how to be happier. The definition of happy is a state of elation or excitement. As human beings who learn or grow through contrast, being in a single state all the time should never be the goal. However, being in the state of awareness, acceptance and in the vibration of love is really what we are here to learn how to do consistently. Love doesn't mean being happy all the time. Love is unconditional, it accepts all and it greets whatever emotion or issue we are facing with compassion. Apathy and indifference are the opposites of love. The more we accept the dark and bring love into the places inside that hurt, the less we feel the darker emotions, and the more we experience the state of happiness and heart-opening gratitude and compassion. *Coaches: Please don't be attached to pleasing your client by working to get them what they want right away. Ask clients to define things before projecting your definitions on them. As coaches, we are not just listening to words. We are listening to the client's tone of voice, inflection; and we really need to use all of our senses to listen to all of the different ways clients are communicating with us. When the client has an 'aha', encourage them to talk it through. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have the expectation that you should feel happy all the time? Do you sometimes pretend you are happy, when really you're not? Are you waiting for something outside of you to make you happy or make you feel settled? Are you struggling with not feeling happy at all or being depressed? Maybe, you feel that nothing is wrong, but nothing is right either. Jennifer 's Question: Jennifer wants to know how to truly feel happy in her life. Jennifer 's Key Insights and Aha's: She has an unrealistic view of happiness She's trying to source happiness from the outside She pretends to be better than she is She suppresses her emotions How to get over it and on with it: Allow herself to feel the tears and emotions when they come She should start by accepting and celebrating who she is She should replace 'fine' with honest answers of how she is doing She should commit to doing a 40-day meditation practice Assignments and Takeaways: Take off your mask and let yourself be seen. Don't pretend to be happy all the time. If you need to talk, ask someone to listen. Use the emotional section of Expectation Hangover to help you get to your dark places of anger, fear or shame. Have a gratitude practice. Every night write down what you are grateful for. Start a meditation practice and read my blog post, Why you are not meditating? Start a 40-day practice - a daily discipline which makes you feel a higher level of acceptance, gratitude and therefore, happiness. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Audible - Free audiobook download and a 30-day free trial. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Christine shares about what she calls "expiration dates" in life and gives you guidance on when it's time to acknowledge that a relationship or situation in your life may be complete. She also clarifies the difference between avoiding facing a challenge and truly knowing something is over.

Today's caller, Corinna, is deciding whether or not to stay in her marriage. Many of us often struggle with whether to stay or go in a relationship. Sometimes the answer is clear, but often it is not. First, there is the love and the history of a relationship including shared assets, children and pets. Second, there is the uncertainty that goes along with making the decision. Ending any type of relationship is not easy and making the choice to do it is hard. We often look for reasons to blame the other person. We collect evidence against them so our decision to leave is easier. We want to be happy and we think leaving the relationship is the answer. But, just leaving on the energy of blame and rebellion is not enough and does not give the opportunity to learn the lessons the relationship is there to teach us. If we end something out of fear annoyance or blame, we will have to learn the same lesson over again, with someone else. I've heard people use the advice that the best way to get over someone is to get over someone else. That's terrible advice. You only end up using the person you are getting over and once all the hormones wear off, you will be left with the same unresolved stuff you didn't deal with in the previous relationship. You may then think you keep picking the wrong person, but in reality, the common denominator in the relationship is you. Don't do a reactionary breakup. Don't leave because you refuse to take an honest look at your side of the street. Stop resisting the learning and stop blaming the other person. When we feel blocked about making a choice, it's often because we are not ready to make it. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 2 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you currently in a relationship and questioning whether to stay or go? Is there a big decision you are struggling with that you want clarity on? Are there similar patterns that come up in all of your relationships? Have you done self-work that makes you an incredible partner to yourself and consequently to another? Is there something in your life you are missing or not feeling and you are blaming your partner for it? Corinna's Question: Corinna is having issues in her marriage. She feels she is isolating herself and is uncertain about her decision to stay married. Corinna's Key Insights and Aha's: She already knows what her decision is She limits herself but blames her husband She's gotten lost in her roles of wife and mother She is scared but relieved to start knowing herself There's a lot she hasn't been facing How to get over it and on with it: She should read the book Codependent No More Find a counselor or coach to look at how she can show up differently Give herself permission to not make the decision right now Invest time and energy into her own discovery Turn down the volume of the opinions of others Look at her husband through eyes of observation instead of judgment Assignments and Takeaways: If you are struggling with a decision, put it on hold. Make the choice not to choose. Stop talking about your struggles with other people. Focus on listening to your own inner knowing. If you are in a relationship, look at your partner through eyes of observation instead of judgement. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book @chrishassler on Snapchat @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Lisa Cypers Kamen, M.A. is an applied positive psychology coach, author, documentary filmmaker and radio show host specializing in sustainable wellbeing and lifestyle management. Lisa's global consulting practice focuses on mission-driven addiction and trauma recovery programming to help clients balance their minds, bodies and emotions resulting in greater overall wellbeing and the transformation of Post-Traumatic Stress (PTS) into Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG). She is a frequent radio and television guest expert as well as contributor to the Huffington Post, Positively Positive and Inspire Me Today. As the founder of Harvesting Happiness for Heroes, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit corporation, Lisa spearheads stigma-free trauma recovery and post-deployment reintegration services for military personnel and their loved one's challenged by the invisible wounds of war. www.hh4heroes.org Lisa is also the creator and host of Harvesting Happiness Talk Radio www.harvestinghappinesstalkradio.com When not helping others thrive, she can be found hiking, meditating, indoor cycling, doing yoga, reading, cooking, traveling and spinning tunes on Joy Riding the Coast, her world music radio show on KBUU 97.5 fm-www.radiomalibu.net and occasionally staring out to sea with a huge smile on her face. Lisa resides in southern California with her family surrounded by lots of love and sunshine.

Today's caller, Frankie is in the midst of her quarter-life crisis. Her life is not going according to her checklist and she is dealing with some Expectation Hangovers. She has defined herself by external things and she's a bit addicted to control and validation. Control is something we all struggle with. We think we have 100% control over life, but we don't. We do have choices and dominion but we don't have total control. Our egos like to have certainty and to have a plan, which is rooted in fear. It is scary not to know what is coming next. If we try to control every aspect of our lives, we often miss out on all the beautiful opportunities the universe has for us. Sometimes the opportunities come in the form of challenges, which are not to punish or test us but to help us grow. During these times it is important that we do not go into victim mode. It is also important that when we go through uncertainty we don't try to immediately fill up that space with something new. Sometimes we just have to sit in the discomfort of uncertainty to see what it is there for to teach us. If we don't deal with our Expectation Hangovers they will keep repeating and the same types of disappointments will keep coming up. It's OK if you don't have it all figured out. A quarter-life crisis is normal. It is the time when many of us step into our personal life journey. Challenges are what build our grit and character. I invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you having a quarter-life crisis or an Expectation Hangover? Are things not going according to plan? Do you relate to living off a checklist? If things don't get checked off are you hard on yourself? Is external achievement and validation important to you? Are there things you say you are surrendered about but you're not? Are you still trying to make things happen or have you just resigned? Frankie's Question: Frankie would like to know how to move into a place of acceptance about where she is in her life. Frankie's Key Insights and Aha's: She has a should list and a checklist in her head She has a deep strength within her Her identity comes from what she can achieve She is hard on herself more than she is compassionate Love for her is connected to validation and praise How to get over it and on with it: She should consider who she would be at 49 if her life had no struggles She can pray without asking for something Her self-talk needs to move towards love and acceptance She can delve deeper in her spiritual practice She should update her story about who she is supposed to be Assignments and Takeaways: Listen to my story in my very first Over It and On With It podcast. Process your emotions through release writing and the temper tantrum technique in Expectation Hangover. Pray. Do not pray for things but pray to be shown the way. Be nice to yourself. Ditch your checklist. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover 20 Something 20 Everything @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

Brittney Castro, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER, entrepreneur and speaker is the Founder and CEO of Financially Wise Women, a Los Angeles based financial planning firm for women. She specializes in working with busy professional and entrepreneurial women who are passionate about life and want to gain clarity around their money. Brittney's mission is to help women plan and create the life of their dreams, free from anxiety about money. She is known for her innovative, non-judgmental, compassionate approach to financial planning. Join Brittney for a FREE webinar that's all about socking away more cash--without giving up that daily latte. Sign up at http://bit.ly/FWWSave I'll see you there! #FWWSave She has become a well-known financial expert for women of all ages; and land national media recognition from CNN, CNBC, The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times, CBS, KTLA, Fox 11 News, Glamour, Elle, Marie Claire, Financial Planning Magazine, Investment News, and Registered Rep Magazine and many more. Away from the office, you can find Brittney working out, drinking coffee or a green smoothie, playing at the park with her dog Arya and of course dancing. Sign up to receive your Financially Wise Toolkit jam packed with great tools and resources to help you on your financial journey at www.financiallywisewomen.com. Follow her on twitter at www.twitter.com/brittneycastro

Today's caller Jenny is self-aware and well-practiced in personal development work but she is not realizing the consistent results she longs for. Her immediate question is situational but as we delve deeper, she realizes this truly is a core issue. I begin this episode with talking about the importance of self-acknowledgment… Are you able to dish out all the praise in the world but when it comes to receiving it you become uncomfortable? Often, we don't fully take in praise or acknowledgment or we don't want to feel like we are bragging. Yet, that praise and acknowledgment are what we really want to hear most. So, why is praise from others so hard to accept? It all comes back to our relationship with ourselves and our ability to see what is truly amazing and true about who we are. It also requires a vulnerability to be seen and give ourselves permission to take in the acknowledgment on the energy of self-love and not ego. Receiving praise and love is not indulgent or inflammatory to our ego, it is a gift. If we need it to feel validated or worthy, it reveals that self-acceptance and self-acknowledgement work is in order. I have a feeling that those of you listening could work on flexing your receiving muscle a little more and give yourselves some praise and acknowledgment. Balancing and receiving from a place of love is important. Healing is an application of love to the places inside that hurt. It's more than positive affirmations and re-framing our beliefs, we must first go to those "ouchy" parts and fill them up with love. Our higher self is always working to get our attention by creating frustration and discomfort. That is why when we spend a lot of energy suppressing our emotions it wears us out. To liberate ourselves emotionally we need to apply love to the places inside that hurt. I have a free gift for all of my podcast listeners. Here is how to receive my free ebook and meditation downloads. I also invite you to join me for my retreat in magical Bali which includes meditation, yoga, one-on-one coaching and the opportunity to meet soul friends. There are only 3 reservations left. E-mail Jill@ChristineHassler.com for information on how to join any of my events or business programs. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you are doing the work and possessing awareness but things aren't shifting? Is it difficult to speak your truth? Does the phrase "It's better to be seen, not heard" strike a chord with you? Do you feel stuck in an aspect of your life? Do you beat yourself up over it? Is self-worth or self-doubt something you are currently struggling with in your own life? Jenny's Question: Jenny would like help with understanding what is holding her back and how to overcome her fear of success. She wants to get unstuck. Jenny's Key Insights and Aha's: It's mandatory for her to go through these patterns as training for her coaching life. Her upbringing has affected her ability to find her own voice. It's her job to make herself feel worthy. It feels awesome to be heard free of judgment. How to get over it and on with it: She should move into accepting this is where she needs to be. She needs to change what she believes about herself. She should work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover. She can give herself permission to explore the emotions she has locked up inside. Find a therapist who can work with her on an emotional level. Assignments and Takeaways: Emotionally liberate yourself and apply love to the places inside that hurt. Change your story! Ask for praise and acknowledgment and then take it in. Implement a 40-day practice to create consistency in the area you want it most. Sponsor: Onnit Wellness - Receive a 10% discount on your purchase when you order through this link. Resources: Christine Hassler Christine Hassler Podcasts Christine Hassler Free E-book Expectation Hangover @christinhassler on Twitter @christinehassler on Instagram Christine@christinehassler.com Jill@christinehassler.com

John Howard is a relationship therapist with over 10 years of experience helping people have awesome relationships. He is the Founder and CEO of Ready Set Love!, an online platform that helps partners learn and grow together. John has trained with some of the top minds in relationship research and therapy such as Drs Stan Tatkin and Dan Siegel. He teaches both public and professional audiences nationally, and helps individuals and couples in his private practice in Austin, Texas. I don't know if you do show notes on your website, but feel free to post the goodies page on social or on your blog if you want: http://readysetlove.com/hassler/