Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about grieving parents and moving through loss. Today's caller, Tania, is a new mom who is caring for her aging father. She is struggling with making decisions that are best for everyone involved. We talk through the guilt that is influencing her decisions and how she can make self-honoring choices that are the best for everyone involved. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode308] When it comes to making choices for someone we love it can feel hard not to let guilt or obligation be involved. When we allow guilt and obligation into our decision-making we aren't making the choices that are truly in the highest good for everyone concerned. Guilt and shame prevent us from being able to honor our feelings and from navigating the many different emotions, perspectives, and thoughts of being human and going through life-changing experiences, and dealing with family members and people who are sick or difficult. It is OK to choose something that may feel selfish but is self-honoring and in the best interest of everyone involved. There is no one-size-fits-all approach when making big decisions like what to do with an aging parent. You have to tune in and make a decision from love, not guilt about what is best for everyone involved. When we hang on to someone, it can create an energetic obligation for them to stay longer. There are two deaths we have to grieve for our parents. The physical death and the death of the ideal. When we allow ourselves to grieve, our heart breaks open so healing can begin. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. We are opening up enrollment for the March 2022 session of our Elementum Coaching Institute. This early-bird pricing opportunity gives your $2,500 off tuition. Our first class sold out in two weeks, so secure your spot today. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you like to have control? Would you rather have control than massive uncertainty? Do you do better in the known rather than the unknown? Do you deal with guilt if you're not doing what you think you're supposed to be doing or taking care of people in the way that you're supposed to? Have you lost a parent or are you on the brink of losing a parent? Do you struggle with what's the right thing to do when it comes to you caring for your parents? Tania's Question: Tania is feeling anxious about how she will manage caring for her father and managing her life. Tania's Key Insights and Ahas: After an accident, her 80-year-old father can no longer take care of himself. Her mother passed 13 years ago. She and her brother are caring for their father. She has a baby and a full-time job. She had to take medical time off from work. She feels guilty and is starting to grieve for her father. She is frightened when she thinks of her father's passing. She holds on to an image of what she thought her future would be. She is finding the role reversal difficult. How to Get Over It and On With It: Realize it is okay to be feeling what she is feeling. Allow herself to start letting go and grieve her father. Release her attachment to what she thinks "should" be. Find a way to get outside help for her father. Give energetic permission to her father to transition when it is his time. Her body and nervous system have been in overdrive. Takeaways: Don't wait to grieve until someone dies. Allow yourself to have the feelings and start the process before a loved one transitions. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Jess Bell, D.O. is an Osteopathic Physician – board-certified in both Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation and Neuromusculoskeletal Medicine – and Energy Healer. Dr. Jess is the founder of Energetic Osteopathy™, which is a powerful modality that bridges traditional osteopathic treatment and energy medicine. What makes Energetic Osteopathy™ unique from other energy healing modalities such as Reiki, is that the treatment takes place with great specificity within the tissues of the body. As an osteopathic physician with over twenty years of hands-on treatment experience, Dr. Jess "sees" into the body with great clarity. This inner sight allows for the transformational release of even the most difficult to locate energetic densities out of the physical body, returning the body to health and wholeness. It is essential that we recover the often forgotten truth that healing comes from within, and it is Dr. Jess's greatest intention to offer this healing and guidance with easy-to-apply information, treatment, and self-healing practices.

This episode is about looking inside and healing unresolved issues. Today's caller, Sarah, went through a breakup and is having a hard time letting it go. We work through how when we don't have our needs met as children we may fumble with our needs as an adult. If you are not going through a breakup right now you will relate to this conversation if you have ever tried to fix something in your life that was not working. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode307] Often, we attempt to work out our childhood wounds through dating and relationships. Unconsciously, we look for someone like mom or dad and think — oh this feels familiar. And, we confuse familiarity for love. But they are not the same thing. That is why we sometimes feel scared to do unfamiliar things. Because we confuse unfamiliarity with not being safe. We try to heal our childhood by drawing in people who remind us of it. This creates issue-based relationships that become addictive. We are looking for a relationship to fix the issue rather than doing self-honoring, internal work. When we do the work we avoid attracting those kinds of relationships in the first place. Sometimes we have the expectation that we have to have a certain personality or be a certain way. When we are in our pain, we do not like the pain and we don't like ourselves in the pain. And, judgment of ourselves and our process only slows us down. It makes things worse. Healing happens when we accept the phase we are in. In a relationship, we all need total honesty, trust, loyalty, intimacy, and someone to hear us and see us without gas-lighting us. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you have a hard time letting go of things even when you know you're supposed to but you just can't seem to let go? Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel securely attached? Maybe your parents were emotionally unavailable, unpredictable, or there was chaos in your house? Have you ever been in a situation where you feel like the situation itself makes you needier? You look at a relationship, career, or friendship and don't even recognize yourself because of some of your behaviors. Do you feel like you have done a lot of work and you have a lot of awareness but you find yourself in the same position over and over? Sarah's Question: Sarah is having difficulty letting go of a relationship and feels like she should be doing better. Sarah's Key Insights and Ahas: Her breakup happened three weeks ago. She is setting unrealistic expectations. She felt insecure in the relationship. She is grasping for the relationship. Her parents did not meet her needs as a child. She didn't feel emotionally safe in the relationship. She did not feel enough as a child. She's done a lot of work and is aware of her parents' shortcomings. She continues to repeat past patterns. She is holding anger and resentment toward her parents. How to Get Over It and On With It: Grieve the death of what she wanted her parents to be. Allow little Sarah to express her hurt and anger. Ask the universe for the resources to help her heal. Realize the relationship came in because she is ready to go deeper. Takeaways: Go back to the little girl, little boy, or little one inside and allow yourself to get super clear about what you wanted from your parents that you never got and that you are more than likely never ever going to get and allow yourself to grieve it. Let go of trying to fix a relationship, the way you look, a job, or a friendship. Stop looking out and look in. That is always where the healing is. Sponsor: ShipStation — Do you have an online business and want to reliably ship things without micromanaging the process. ShipStation software tracks all of your shipments in one easy-to-use interface. Over and On With It listeners can try ShipStation for free for 60-days by using the offer code 'OVERIT'. Go to ShipStation.com and click on the microphone at the top of the page to let Shipstation help your business grow and thrive. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Internationally bestselling author Michelle Masters has been a Personal Development Trainer and Coach since 1995. Michelle's work is an innovative use of Neuro-Science based change techniques, Family Constellation work, and quantum healing modalities combined with profound understandings of what creates transformation and lasting change for people. Her hugely popular Money Magic workshop has helped people all over the world to transform their lives and money. Learn more here: https://michellemastersnlp.com/

This episode is about rejection. Today's caller, Claudia, experiences sadness when she feels rejected. We talk through her feelings of rejection and uncover them to be something she did not connect until this session. If you have a pattern of feeling rejected you will benefit from listening to this episode. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode306] Many times sweet people, or big feelers, people who are more comfortable in sadness than in anger, hold stuff inside rather than confronting others. Anytime we feel rejected, even as a child, there is a part of us that is really pissed off. We get angry when we are rejected but, many times because the hurt is so big we want to figure it out. The mind can't figure out why a parent would ever reject us. No child can figure it out. A child can't work through the understanding that a parent has their own issues. So we end up resenting the people who reject us. Energetically if you walk around as a wounded child who was rejected it will be hard to pull in a person or match who fully sees you. But, by taking your power back, it will open up space in your life. When you have resentments in your heart it is hard for people to get in. They don't want to be someone else you resent. Carrying around resentments can push people away. As long as there is a part of you who hasn't forgiven your family of origin, for being rejected, you will feel resentment. Forgiveness is not condoning, it is letting go of the judgment. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you ever feel rejected? And, no matter what you do you can't seem to get over the pattern of rejection? How are you with anger? Are you someone who can handle sadness but when it comes to anger, that's a different story? Do you ever feel people don't choose you because of who you are and you constantly try to be someone you are not? Do you ever feel like you're rejected because other people feel jealous of you? Claudia's Question: Claudia feels rejected when people are afraid to get close to her and jealous of her. Claudia's Key Insights and Ahas: She recently went through a breakup. She says men are attracted to her energy but afraid of her leadership. She feels women are jealous of her. She feels rejected. She repeats patterns of not being enough and not feeling seen. She retreats rather than confronting others. A family member rejected her. She feels sadness more than anger. She tried very hard to be seen as a child. How to Get Over It and On With It: Find people who are in alignment with her. Deal with the anger she feels about being rejected. Forgive herself for the beliefs that perpetuate the lens of rejection and resentment. Do not make herself wrong or dim her light. Give little Claudia a voice and allow her to be mad or angry. Takeaways: If you deal with resentment, look at where you feel sad and rejected. If you deal with a lot of rejection, look at where you may feel resentful. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Steven Kessler has been a psychotherapist in the San Francisco Bay Area for almost 30 years, teaching both locally and internationally. He is a certified EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) Expert and Trainer, and is the bestselling author of The 5 Personality Patterns, a simple, clear, true-to-life map of personality that gives you the key to understanding people and communicating with them effectively. More information and descriptions of the patterns are available at www.The5PersonalityPatterns.com. Steven loves teaching and helping people grow. He can be reached at Steven@The5PersonalityPatterns.com

This episode is about acquiring a healthy relationship between giving and receiving. Today's caller, Carrisa, gives to everyone except herself. We talk through ways she can fill her cup before helping others, how to shed the imposter syndrome, and the importance of committing to her inner child. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode305] We cannot give and give and then expect to feel great. It is beautiful to help people but from a full cup. Otherwise, we deplete ourselves and try to make ourselves feel better through others. It does not work. Anyone who gives and gives and gives to others but does not give to themselves will not feel worthy. People-pleasers, over-givers, and martyrs never feel worthy because they give so much. You have to be able to receive from yourself and others to feel worthy. You can help and give but you need to be supported as well. When you have healthy boundaries, a lot of support, and are checking in with your inner child you can help and serve others from a full cup. You won't feel like an imposter because you will be practicing what you preach. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. Consider/Ask Yourself Do you have resistance or laziness that comes out when it comes to doing things that are just for you or doing things that are outside the realm of your normal day-to-day activities? Did you grow up in a house where you didn't feel seen? Do you often dread doing something because you're afraid you're going to disappoint other people? When it comes to serving others, are you doing it because it makes you feel good or because that's the way you love yourself? Carrisa's Question: Carrisa is uncertain of whether her feelings are intuition or conditioning and why she feels resistance. Carrisa's Key Insights and Ahas: She worries about affecting the people around her. She is a people-pleaser with hints of a savior complex. Her childhood home was chaotic and she felt invisible as the 6th child of 7 children. She judges herself for being lazy and being resistant. She tends to go with the flow. She understands herself but puts herself last. She feels complacent in her marriage. She hasn't taken a lot of time for herself. She wants to integrate her passion into her massage therapy work. She feels like an imposter when it comes to coaching. She is imbalanced when it comes to giving and receiving. How to Get Over It and On With It: Be her own client and keep an observation journal about her boundaries and her decisions. Listen to her alarm systems and check in with little Carrisa. Color with little Carissa 15-minutes a day. Have conscious conversations with her husband about co-parenting. Stop trying to heal herself by helping others. Takeaways: Become your own client. Instead of judging and analyzing yourself, observe yourself neutrally. Connect with your inner child and make them a commitment in your life. Stop people-pleasing and make yourself a priority. Sponsor: THIRDLOVE — When was the last time you treated yourself to a perfectly fitted new bra or sleepwear? Visit the Fitting Room and take the quiz at Thirdlove.com/overit to find your perfect bra size. They have over 80 bra sizes, including half-cup sizes, and great-fitting, comfy loungewear! Use the link to get 20% off the first purchase of your new favorite bra from the limited edition summer style collection or sleepwear. They have a 100% fit guarantee. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you have struggled this past year (or really ever), you are going to love this episode. Speaker, life coach, and author Andrea Owen joins Christine for a vulnerable and inspiring conversation on mental health and healing trauma. Andrea is creating a global impact in women's empowerment with her books being translated into 18 languages and available in 22 countries. She helps high-achieving women maximize unshakeable confidence, and master resilience. Her latest book, Make Some Noise: Speak Your Mind and Own Your Strength is coming in August 2021. You can learn more at andreaowen.com.

This episode is about cutting ties with a toxic family member. Today's caller, Alison, continues to relive the cycle of abuse she received from her mother. There is a part of her that believes her mother will one day change and give her the love she desires. If you have someone you are considering ending a relationship with, you will get great value from this session. If this particular circumstance doesn't apply to you, you can probably relate to a situation where you want to do something but guilt and obligation are keeping you from making a self-honoring decision. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode304] Just because someone is related to you, even a parent, doesn't give them the right to be in your life. When we are the parentified child it is confusing in the psyche and that is why there is a lot of guilt and obligation. Because as a parent, you can't imagine abandoning your child. You would still love your child no matter what happened. That is the appropriate order of things. We are not supposed to be a parent to our parents. So, when it comes to cutting ties with a family member it is tricky. It is difficult because we are in role reversal. Much of the guilt comes from being the parental figure to our parents which makes it hard to cut them off. This is not a healthy dynamic. What I have learned about boundaries, family, and having a healthy life is that continuing to be in a relationship with someone, even our mother, who is abusive, volatile, or who cannot respect boundaries, just because they are a family member out of guilt and obligation is not love. Sometimes it is cutting ties with someone that may be the catalyst for them to wake up and do their own work. Would you like to win a free 30-minute (unaired) session with me? To add your name to the drawing, leave a rating and review in your podcast listening app. When the review posts take a screenshot and upload it to ChristineHassler.com/review. I'll choose the winner in the first week of August. I have a great course for those who want to be coaches or those who want to learn more about personal development. Unleashed is a program I did in collaboration with Ever Coach from Mindvalley. I teach you the 4 Levels of Coaching Mastery for Maximum Client Impact. Go to ChristineHassler.com/unleashed for more information. Consider/Ask Yourself Is there someone in your life who does not deserve it and it is not healthy to have them in your life anymore? Are you often the peacemaker in the family or other relationships? Are you still living in a fantasy of what you wish your parents or someone in your life could be when you need to grieve what they are? Do you love yourself and your family enough to put firm, healthy boundaries around you so you can break generational patterns and trauma? Alison's Question: Alison wants guidance about how to have an adult relationship with her abusive mother. Alison's Key Insights and Ahas: She had a traumatic childhood. She has difficulty setting healthy boundaries. She was the caregiver in the relationship with her mother. She has a seven-year-old son. Her grandmother was an important part of her life. Her mother's boyfriend was verbally abusive. Her mother never stood up for her. Her son has very little contact with her mother. Her son triggers her childhood memories. She worries that she will lose other family relationships if she cuts ties with her mother. She is betraying her needs and her inner child. Her mother doesn't want her to change. Her inner child thinks her mother will one day change. She is the peacemaker in the family. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have a clarifying conversation with her brother and grandfather about her decision to break ties. Stop justifying her mother's behavior. Find peace within herself. Takeaways: Ask yourself where you may be in a relationship out of guilt and obligation? Where are you the peacemaker when you don't have peace? What ties do you need to cut? Why do you protect someone else's feelings more than the energy of your inner child? You deserve healthy boundaries. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Dr. Shefali is an expert in family dynamics and personal development, teaching courses around the globe. She has a doctorate in clinical psychology and specializes in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, bringing together the best of both worlds for her clients. She has written five books, three of which are New York Times best-sellers, including her two landmark books The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family. Her newest book is Radical Awakening Oprah has endorsed her work as revolutionary and life-changing. Dr. Shefali's ground-breaking approach to mindful living sets her apart as a leader in the field of mindfulness psychology. As an international speaker, she speaks at events around the globe, spreading her message of conscious parenting and mindful living. She also has a private practice where she consults with families and couples. You can learn more here: https://www.drshefali.com/