Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

Ramit Sethi is the NYT best selling author of I Will Teach You To Be Rich and host of the I Will Teach You To Be Rich Podcast where he speaks directly with couples about how to build a better relationship with money and with each other.

This episode is about honoring lost loved ones and loving our way through grief. Today's caller, Kate, is a young woman who is grieving the loss of her mother. Christine offers comfort and ways she can feel joy alongside the tears by doing things in a way that honors the beautiful memories of her mother. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode380] In this crazy ride of a life, there are times of unbelievable joy, heart-bursting gratitude, and sometimes heart-wrenching grief. These are all aspects of love. Yet, none of us live forever, and we are all going to lose people we love. Loss is one of the hardest things we encounter in the human experience. We don't get out of this world without suffering. But, if we see grief and loss as part of love and we can see our grief as an expression of love, then it helps us have the courage to actually feel our way through it. It is helpful to be honest about our feelings and not worry about drowning in them but rather be intentional about welcoming our feelings and know that we have a life preserver and will not drown. We are more likely to drown in feelings we suppress than in feelings we allow. The beautiful and difficult thing about the human experience is that we feel deeply, especially if we've shifted ourselves out of patterns of suppression, distraction, repression, and numbing. Consider/Ask Yourself: Have you lost someone or something recently and you are afraid to dive into your grief because you don't know how deep it will go? Do you have a parent that is on the other side and you'd like to cultivate a relationship with them or do things in their honor? Are you saving things or not doing things in your life and grief could be an inspiration to do them? Are you willing to open your heart fully to love even if that means losing? Kate's Question: As the holidays approach, Kate is grieving over the loss of her mother. She is searching for guidance on how to handle her grief. Kate's Key Insights and Ahas: Her mother passed away after a battle with cancer. She is in her early 20s. She and her mother bonded over gardening. People are offering condolences and advice on how to get over her grief. She is an only child. Her mother wants her to be happy. She finds solace in her partner and her puppy. She finds it beneficial to talk with her therapist. Her mother taught her about kindness and love. She finds it difficult to reach out for support from her family. How to Get Over It and On With It: Know that her mother will forever be in her heart. Live and do things in a way that will honor her mother, like making her favorite tea. Find joy in her memories and find joy alongside the tears and the loss. She is doing a great job of taking care of herself. Reach out to family members for support. Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code "Overit" and get up to 35% off on selected models. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

John Kim, LMFT, also known as the Angry Therapist pioneered the online life coaching movement seven years ago, after going through a divorce which led to his total re-birth. He quickly built a devoted following of fans who loved the frank and authentic insights that he freely shared on social media. Kim became known as an unconventional therapist who worked out of the box by seeing clients at coffee shops, on hikes, in a CrossFit box. John and his partner, Vanessa, live together in Los Angeles with their daughter. Together, they co-authored the book IT'S NOT ME, IT'S YOU: Break the Blame Cycle, Relationship Better .

This episode is about making the changes we know we need to make. Today's caller, Toni, has done personal development work but still feels stuck in her relationship. Christine explores the possibility that Toni knows the changes she needs to make but is letting the fear of change hold her back from taking action. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode379] Remember not to judge progress by external shifts. While external shifts are important it takes time for things to shift. Often, the season we are in is the awareness or the processing. We need to work our way up to making a change. But, eventually, we do have to make the change. Because awareness isn't enough. Integration and true transformation only happen when we change behavior. It doesn't matter how much processing we do or how much information we have. The process of true transformation requires making big changes. In life, if we could just connect the dots and things would change, life would be easy. It doesn't work that way, for things to change we often have to take bold action. Often, we know the changes we need to make but we don't want to make them. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a situation you know needs to change but you just are terrified of making the change? Have you done all the work but still feel stuck? Do you relate to being a people pleaser and a caregiver and you feel great in the role of taking care of others but no one's taking care of you? Toni's Question: Toni is feeling stuck in her relationship and is looking for guidance on how to make a change. Toni's Key Insights and Ahas: She does personal development work but something isn't shifting. Her five-year relationship is issue-based. Her partner may be emotionally unavailable. She feels her relationship may not go the distance. She had instability in her childhood. She wanted safety and security from her father but didn't receive them. She cared for her father during his alcoholism until his passing. She is a caretaker in all of her relationships. Awareness has become her safety and security. The only way she has gotten love is by taking care of others. When she gets overwhelmed she shuts down. She is afraid to leave her relationship. How to Get Over It and On With It: Acknowledge and celebrate shifts she has experienced. Make some big, scary changes. Leave the relationship. Stop using fear to not make a change. Get support through a coach, therapist, accountability partner, or friend. Takeaways: Where are you stuck because you aren't taking a step forward? Sponsor: Organifi — is ready to help you stay healthy and to get the nutrients you need during the holidays! The body needs both macro and micronutrients for optimal health. Organifi's Gold includes a turmeric blend. To get 20% off orders for yourself or as gifts use the promo code 'OVERIT' at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

It's the holiday season which means you may be around some people that push your buttons. One of the best ways to avoid getting too many buttons pushed is setting healthy boundaries. But what exactly are healthy boundaries? When do we set them? And how do we do it in a way that is loving? These are the questions I answer in today's episode.

This episode is about healing our traumas while raising children. Today's caller, Nicole, says her children and home responsibilities are triggering her trauma. She is constantly in survival mode. She asks for guidance on how to relieve her anxiety and overwhelm. Christine offers tips for how to set healthy boundaries and regulate her nervous system. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode378] Often, there are places inside of us that are still unhealed and that are still tender. We have managed those tender parts but haven't ever transformed. It's a huge distinction between what brings peace and contentment in life and what just gets us through the day. So many of us have had a painful past that we have learned to manage or sweep under the rug, or we've distracted ourselves with work or taking care of others and haven't really, truly taken care of ourselves. Our past trauma, past issues, and challenges are not forefront every day but we aren't living to our fullest potential. The deepest level of contentment that we can access is limited because so much of our energy is spent on managing what we've never truly transformed. To get to where we want to go in life, we have to transform and that requires healing on deeper levels. There is nothing that can catalyze that like having children. Children often bring forward the things that we have swept under the rug. They force us to look at ourselves. They trigger us. They are the perfect teachers because we love them so much and we don't want to pass on our pain and trauma to them. We want to transform. but we don't know how because our inner child is still wounded; we haven't healed our traumas from our childhoods. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you a parent and do you sometimes question your parenting? Do you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and has being a parent activated it, or if you're not a parent, do you know you have unresolved trauma from your childhood and you're not sure what to do with it? Do you just feel too busy, or that there is too much going on in your life to deal with any of your trauma or do any healing? Nicole's Question: Nicole is triggered by her child and would like guidance navigating her parenting journey while healing her trauma. Nicole's Key Insights and Ahas: She has food insecurity issues. She has child abuse, neglect, and abandonment traumas from her childhood. She isn't in contact with her family. She feels she has to run the family and home by herself. She feels stuck in her relationship. Her nervous system is deregulated and in survival mode. She feels anxious and overwhelmed. She is unpredictable and inconsistent based on her trauma. She feels she doesn't deserve her daughter. Her daughter was abused by someone close. How to Get Over It and On With It: Make time for herself to heal her trauma. Regulate her nervous system daily by humming and taking deep breaths. Make a place for her daughter to have a temper tantrum. Be present with her daughter. Takeaways: What are the things you can do daily to regulate your nervous system? Sponsor: STORYWORTH — During the holidays you are bound to hear lots of stories from loved ones. Documenting those stories can be challenging. Storyworth helps your family share stories through thought-provoking questions about their memories and personal thoughts. After a year, Storyworth compiles your family's stories in an exquisite hardbound keepsake book that ships for free. Give the important people in your life a meaningful gift Storyworth.com/overit and get $10 off your first purchase. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Athena Grace is now nearly nine months old and I'm finally ready to share the story of her birth. It was the most empowering and intense experience of my life and I'm deeply grateful to have delivered her at home. Stef joins me for the episode as he was o

This episode is about being open to opportunities by eliminating the walls we have up. Today's caller, Rich, feels blocked in building his coaching practice but the session is not so much about building his coaching practice but about him becoming his own best client because his biggest blocks are his own beliefs and unresolved hurts. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode377] We are told many things in our lives. Some of those things are not always positive. We tend to take on criticism much more than the compliments and acknowledgments we were given. Especially if that criticism came from a parent or any authority figure. Those criticisms from our past repeat like a broken record in our heads and impact our future. So, instead of living the life we want, we keep listening to the old story. Whose voice is in your head that you have adopted as your own? It is time to give that voice back and not allow it to define you. How we do anything is how we do everything. Many times we try to change our external circumstances thinking that a new job or new relationship will change the patterns and programming of things we don't like. But, if how we do anything is how we do everything, then we just apply the same patterning and programming to the next thing. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you suffering because you cannot identify your purpose? Is there a person in your life who is struggling to find their purpose? Do you push them to find their purpose or try to find it for them? Do you feel worthy and deserving inside? And, how does your self-confidence, or lack thereof, impact your results? Is someone else's voice inside your head? Do you need to banish it? Rich's Question: Rich would like to know how to get over his fear and anxiety to follow through with his goal of becoming a coach. He wants to overcome his limiting beliefs from his past, which may be blocking his future success. Rich's Key Insights and Ahas: He was providing his coaching services for free. He feels friends and family are expecting more of him. He is getting married soon. He suffers from social anxiety and has a hard time focusing. He meditates and exercises to deal with his anxiety. He has a mission to make an emotional impact on people's lives. He was criticized as a child by his stepfather. He struggles with self-worth and fears failure. He is a sensitive creative. He has done work around self-compassion. He is not sure of the source of his resistance. How to Get Over It and On With It: Do emotional healing and forgive himself for buying into the misunderstanding that he is not worthy. Realize the way he is treating himself is how his stepfather treated him. Treat himself like he treats his clients. Work through the emotional section of Expectation Hangover to release his anger. Consider what makes him authentic and worthy. Design a program for himself and become his best client. Takeaways: Write down your limiting beliefs and figure out who owns the voice. Move into compassion for anyone who programmed your thoughts. Write a letter to give an unwelcome belief back to the person who gave it to you. Be honest about the emotional walls you have put up and be committed to taking them down. Set up two chairs and carry out your own therapy session. Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to get an Air Doctor today go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code "Overit" and get up to 35% off on selected models. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

This is the final episode of a three-part couples coaching series with Claire and Jimmy together. In today's call, Christine asks both Claire and Jimmy how they can acknowledge and appreciate each other more while empowering them to take responsibility for their childhood wounds and how they are playing out in their relationship. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode376] If you are in a relationship and you find yourself continuing to loop on the same argument over and over again, dig a little deeper to discover what is underneath it. Figure out where you may not be taking responsibility for your stuff and whether you are expecting your partner to heal it. Also, ask yourself where you may not be compassionate for their stuff and where you may be missing the ways they show up for you, and how you can appreciate it more. It is not our job in a relationship to heal our partner's wounds but it is our responsibility as a loving, conscious partner to understand and empathize with them. It's not to tolerate toxic behavior but to adjust our behavior and our request to show we are empathetic and understanding of who our partner is. The process of relationship is to continue to work on ourselves, work out our own triggers, and move toward our partner. Every relationship takes comprise. Love is a verb, not just the words. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a relationship and you keep looping on the same argument over and over again? Do you have a sense that the argument, the disagreement, or the trigger you're having could be linked to a deeper issue? Are you willing to compromise in your relationship or do you just want it your way? Are you ignoring the ways your partner does love you and does show up for you because it is not exactly the way you want it? Claire & Jimmy's Question: Claire & Jimmy together. Claire & Jimmy's Key Insights and Ahas: Claire triggers Jimmy to put his walls up and he shuts down. Jimmy's version of being committed doesn't match up with Claire's. Claire is yearning to have Jimmy all-in, in the relationship. Intimacy is scary for Jimmy. They are helping each other heal. Claire is scared she can't get her needs met in their relationship. They both realize they need to make some changes. Jimmy is sensitive to disappointing people and timid about the level of commitment Claire wants. They have a coffee date, meditate together, and relax in the hot tub at night. How to Get Over It and On With It: Claire can acknowledge all the things Jimmy is doing right. Every night, Jimmy can tell Claire why he loves her. Claire can give Jimmy time to feel safer in the relationship. Show a greater level of empathy and understanding to each other. Jimmy can talk to Claire with the kindness and compassion he shows his daughters. Claire can have compassion for Jimmy as he is trying to figure things out. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — is good looking, clean cooking. Caraway cookware is beautiful, easy to clean and use and it is non-toxic. It has a naturally slick ceramic surface and comes in cookware and bakeware sets. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off limited-time offer and use Overit at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com — Males who want to be on the show Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Krista St-Germain is a Master Certified Life Coach, Post-Traumatic Growth and grief expert, widow, mom and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista's life was completely and unexpectedly flipped upside down. After therapy helped her uncurl from the fetal position, Krista discovered Life Coaching, Post Traumatic Growth and learned the tools she needed to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too.