Life Coaching with Christine Hassler

This episode is about pausing and not deciding. Today's caller, Lydia, has been experiencing massive changes in her life over the past year. She is questioning whether or not to get married. She wants guidance about how she can relieve the pressure of making a choice and how to know what is right for her. She finds that sometimes not making a choice is the best choice. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode400] There's nothing wrong with questioning. There is always a purpose in it. When we're in a place of doubt or questioning, it's good to explore it. When there's so much change happening, it can put us in more of a fight-or-flight survival-based response and we come from the emotionally reactive part of our brain. Or it can put our priorities and our values front and center to make us question anything that is not aligned. When we are experiencing a lot of change or grief, it takes a while to find our footing. In times of transition and change, major decisions can be tricky. The part of us that likes to control and to know things, can have a hard time when we go back and forth about big decisions. If your life is steady right now; if you're not going through grief or a big change, but you are finding it difficult to make a choice, you might just be scared of change. You might just need to make a choice. But, if your life has a lot of chaos in it or there are a lot of changes and uncertainty about making another big choice, that's when you can take time to pause and let what is in alignment with you rise to the surface. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. Get exquisite self-care from October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat . There is still time to get the early bird discount. Consider/Ask Yourself: Is there something you're trying to decide, or choose about, like a relationship, or whether to leave a job and you just can't get clarity or, you could talk yourself into either direction? Are you grieving? Did you just lose someone that was important to you and it's clouding your ability to choose? Did you go through a breakup or a job loss where you felt a sense of rejection and your self-confidence took a hit? Do you like to control? Do you like to have answers and being in that in-between of not making a choice can be a little wobbly for you? Lydia's Question: Many things in her life are changing. She is grieving the loss of her mother and having doubts about getting married. She would like guidance on how to move forward with confidence. Lydia's Key Insights and Ahas: She is grieving the loss of her mother. She is going through a job transition. She is planning her wedding and a move. She is questioning her decision to get married. She is judging her fiance and feels guilty about it. As an adult, she had to distance herself from her mother. Her job transition left her feeling rejected. She feels resistance when she tries to make a choice. She doesn't have safety in her nervous system. She is concerned about disappointing people. How to Get Over It and On With It: Pause, give herself some grace, and wait to make a choice about her relationship. Allow herself to be in the unknown as much as possible. Work on establishing safety in her nervous system. Surrender and take off the pressure to make a choice. Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code "Overit" and get up to 35% off on selected models. Resources: Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you feel like you have a lot of awareness but things in your life are not changing…it may be time for some "experiential" work. In this episode Christine and Jill about what happens at Christine's Signature Retreat to help you discern if it's right for you. More info about the retreat here: https://christinehassler.com/signatureretreat/

This episode is about going back to move forward. Today's caller, Samm, missed out on some developmental learnings in childhood. She wants to empower others but is still not sure she can fully empower herself. If you feel that you don't have clarity about something, or feel you can't take the next step forward, it might be because of past trauma. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode399] We all need to have compassion and be easier on ourselves when we miss out on things in our childhood that make parts of adulthood harder. Remember, compassion is different than scapegoating. If we blame everything on our childhood and everything is our parent's fault, that is being the victim. That is scapegoating. It's very different from compassion. Compassion is understanding that we never got to that developmental stage as a child. So, it is harder for us to do it as adults. We need to have patience and compassion with ourselves. We all need to have compassion and be easier on ourselves when we miss out on things in our childhood that make parts of adulthood harder. It's necessary for us to go back and give our inner child what they didn't have and then move forward. To expect ourselves to feel safe, to put ourselves out there, as a coach for example, when we didn't have safety as a child is like expecting a one-year-old to do algebra. It's just completely unrealistic. It is not developmentally possible. Please be kind to yourself. Look at what you did not get in childhood that may have impacted you and not from the perspective of being damaged or broken. We have the parents we have to learn what we need to learn in this lifetime. Elementum Coaching Institute is beginning its 3rd year in September 2023. Christine co-founded Elementum Coaching to assist coaches and would-be coaches with the skills needed to build their businesses. Attend the free webinar for more information on May 15, 2023. To take advantage of early bird pricing and get more information about the upcoming Coach on Fire workshop go to https://elementumcoachinginstitute.com/coach-on-fire-workshop. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you feel like you're unclear about something or do you lack clarity in some way? Did you have a childhood where you did not feel safe? Do you often feel disconnected from your own inner child? Is there something you want to do but you keep telling yourself that you're just stuck and you can't move forward? Samm's Question: Samm seeks clarity and would like guidance on how to create a safe place without feeling paralyzed to act on it. Samm's Key Insights and Ahas: She is a coach. She holds herself back when expressing herself. When she feels like putting her heart into something, she gets paralyzed and scared. Her parents were addicts. She chose a different path. She didn't feel safe as a child. She doubts she can fully support herself or others. She has been in survival mode for most of her life. She has a freeze response as part of her nervous system wiring. She feels she is not enough. As a child, she yearned to feel like she was important and that she mattered. She wanted to be held and know everything would be OK. She would like to build a group container with her clients. She wants to help empower others. She internalizes her sadness and has difficulty getting mad. How to Get Over It and On With It: Have compassion for where she's come from. Work with herself with patience and love. Connect with the motherly part of her. Allow herself to get angry. Recognize when she is in a trauma response and make her inner child feel safe. Sponsor: Caraway Cookware — is good-looking clean cooking. Caraway products are beautiful, easy to clean and use, and non-toxic. The cookware and bakeware sets have a naturally slick ceramic surface. Go to CarawayHome.com/Overit to take advantage of the exclusive 10% off on their full suite of products, including their new food storage sets. Be sure to use OVERIT at checkout. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

Natalie Lue is a writer, speaker, podcaster, artist, and founder of one of the longest running self-help blogs in the world, Baggage Reclaim and The Baggage Reclaim Sessions podcast. She just released a new book, The Joy of Saying No, which highlights her six-step plan to help readers find their "no" so they can create healthier boundaries and reconnect with their values and authentic self.

This episode is about healing past trauma without reliving it. Today's caller, Suzy, knows there is trauma in her past but fears she must relive it to heal it. This conversation is helpful if you know there are things in your past you haven't dealt with and don't know where to start or have fears about addressing them. [For show notes, go here: Christinehassler.com/episode398] When we experience trauma, we disassociate. We have to do it. It doesn't make us weak. It doesn't make us not vulnerable. And, it doesn't make us not emotionally intelligent. It is what we do to survive. We need to have compassion for our disassociation because it is a coping strategy and it's the only way we can survive trauma. There comes a time when all the dissociation starts to add up, and it may make us feel dead inside. It is important that we do not go back and relive our trauma. We can use current-day triggers to ask — What is this triggering inside me? What is this reminding me of? Then, give ourselves the permission to feel and express all the feelings we didn't get to express, state our needs, and make our requests. That is how we heal. That's how we repair not by reliving the trauma. Riding a current trigger or feeling back in time to see where we end up is one of the most useful ways to heal. It's about giving ourselves a voice, giving ourselves the freedom to express ourselves, giving ourselves compassion, and nurturing ourselves to meet the needs that didn't get met at that time. It's not about reliving our experiences. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. It is October 13‒15 in San Diego, CA. To sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: Do you have trouble accessing feelings from your past? You can talk about your past but there's no emotion there. Are you finding you do have emotion in your current day situations and you don't quite know what to do with those triggers? Were you emotionally abandoned by your parents? Maybe they were physically there but they didn't really meet your emotional needs. Do you have trouble accessing your inner child? Suzy's Question: Suzy knows there are things in her past she has not dealt with but she doesn't know where to start or how to address them. Suzy's Key Insights and Ahas: She is seeing a therapist. Her past is affecting her current relationships. She feels abandoned by her husband. She feels sad and lonely. She fears reliving her past trauma. As a child, her physical needs were met but not her emotional needs. She has tried to share her feelings with her mother. She feels hopeless. She has never felt safe. She is surprised by the wise words from her inner child. She is capable of holding herself through her feelings. How to Get Over It and On With It: Commit to continue to talk with her inner child. Recognize her triggers as an opportunity to check in with her inner child. Write or send herself a message starting with "I learned…, I feel…, what I am going to do moving forward is…". Get pictures of herself from different ages and see which she connects more deeply with. Be gentle with herself as she maneuvers the healing process. Takeaways: If you are afraid to deal with your past, find a qualified practitioner. Check in with your inner child whenever you feel triggered. Come to the Signature Retreat in October. Listen to the previously recorded 3-day Inner Child Workshop. Be gentle and patient with yourself. Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code "Overit" and get up to 35% off on selected models. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My longtime friend and the #1 resource I recommend when it comes to shifting your relationship with money, Kate Northrup, joins me today for an insightful and inspiring conversation about money. As an entrepreneur, bestselling author, and mother, Kate Northrup has built a multimedia digital platform called The Origin Company that reaches hundreds of thousands globally. She's committed to supporting ambitious women to light up the world without burning themselves out. Kate teaches data and soul-driven time and energy management practices that result in saving time, making more money, and experiencing less stress. She's the author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and the creator of the Do Less Planner System. Kate's work has been featured by Oprah Daily, The Today Show, Yahoo! Finance, Women's Health, Glamour, The NY Times, Harvard Business Review, and more. She lives with her husband and their daughters in Miami. You can access her FREE workshop "Plenty" which will help you Clear Your Money Blocks and Discover True Prosperity While Positively Impacting the World here: christinehassler.com/relaxedmoney

This episode is about a conflict between what our inner child wants and what our adult self needs. Today's caller, Cindy, is in a relationship that she knows she needs to leave but she feels frozen. She is looking for guidance on how to move forward and take action. This can be applied to anything whether it is a relationship, a job, or a pattern. There are some great tidbits about why we don't shift. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode397] When we know there is an action we need to take but we just can't seem to do it we can analyze it, process it, and have awareness about it but we may still feel frozen and unable to take action. Freeze is a trauma response. It doesn't matter how much we know what we "should" do when we are in a trauma response it all gets overridden with survival patterns. Our inner child believes that we will heal a wound by being with someone similar to the person who prompted our trauma. One of the best ways that you can make a change in your life is to do something different to get out of your comfort zone but to do it with a lot of love. For empathetic or people with co-dependent threads, love bombing is like a drug. Whether someone's a diagnosed narcissist or they have narcissistic tendencies, love bombing is not about the person receiving the love bomb. It's about control. It's not love. So, choose yourself. Legitimately and authentically love yourself out of the situation. My upcoming Signature Retreat is for women who want to go deeper into their own consciousness, release layers that need to go, expand their femininity, get clear about their purpose, and heal wounds. It is October 13-15 in San Diego, CA. Early bird pricing ends soon so to sign up go to ChristineHassler.com/signatureretreat. Consider/Ask Yourself: Are you in a situation, relationship, friendship, or work situation where you know you need to make a change but you just can't seem to do it? Do you know that some of your choices are coming from your inner child but can't seem to make different choices? Do you often let fear stop you from doing something you need to do? Are you frustrated with yourself because you know better but you just keep wondering why you're not doing better? Cindy's Question: Cindy is in a toxic marriage. She wants to end the relationship and get a divorce but she feels stuck and is not sure how to move forward. Cindy's Key Insights and Ahas: She is finding it difficult to make a decision. She struggles with shame and anger about not leaving. She feels frozen. She feels her partner and her father are similar. Her father had an undiagnosed mental problem. Her partner love bombed her at the beginning of her relationship. She knows the relationship is not good for her. She feels her partner destroyed her life. She knows she has choices to make. She is a people pleaser. She feels financially tied to the relationship. Her partner plays on her core wounds. She found it easier to get out of her first marriage. She will keep herself away from men that come with red flags. How to Get Over It and On With It: Talk to her inner child about what love truly is. Assure her inner child that she will take care of her. Attend Christine's Signature Retreat. Make a decision by May 1, 2023. Sponsor: Aquatru — purifies water using a four-stage reverse osmosis process. The countertop purifiers remove 15 times more contaminants than ordinary pitcher filters. Their long-lasting and affordable filters are independently tested and certified to NSF standards to remove over 80% of the most harmful contaminants. Go to Aquatru.com and enter OVERIT at checkout to get 20% off any filter. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

My friend Brooke Nichol joins me to talk about how to build a business by being great at relationships with people. Brooke is a registered nurse and the owner of Saving Face in Austin, TX. Her specialty is relationships and keeping clients looking natural and the best version of themselves. She has organically grown to two locations, becoming the most sought out feel good destination in Austin. She has an extensive background and training from world renowned plastic surgeons and experts in the field of aesthetics. She was named top 100 injector in the US in 2018. She is a national trainer for Allergan and was named top 10 lip expert in 2020. Brooke serves on Advisory Boards for Allergan and Revance. Brooke is a true entrepreneur who wears many hats. She is mama to two beautiful children, Knox (5), Miller (8). She created Post Love Skincare and will soon launch Saving Face Academy. There is much growth for Saving Face in the future and Brooke is quite certain that goodness will bring about more goodness.

This episode is about healing anxiety, unworthiness, and shame. Today's caller, Matt, recently came clean about some secrets about his past with his partner. He sabotaged his relationship but would like to date again, fully able to love and commit. Any listeners who felt instability in their childhood will benefit from this conversation. [For show notes go here: Christinehassler.com/episode396] Often, the people who are most free-spirited are the adults who as children wanted stability and didn't have it. They've never known stability so they have to fall in love with freedom or fall in love with not having accountability. If you were adopted, didn't have time with your mother, or something happened, it doesn't mean you are doomed for life. Give yourself the dignity of your process. Give yourself the compassion, TLC, mothering, and nurturing you didn't receive. Having compassion for yourself and an understanding of why you are the way you are is important. Adoption is a beautiful thing. There are so many people who have had much better lives because they've been adopted versus if they had stayed with their biological parents. And people who choose to give their child up for adoption because they know another family could give them a better life are angels in so many ways. Adoption can create a beautiful life for someone. And if you do meditation, or a personal practice with the intention of fixing something, remember nothing heals in judgment. Go into modalities to feel, to heal, and to allow what is there, not try to get rid of it. Because nothing heals when we think we are broken. Consider/Ask Yourself: Did you grow up feeling a sense of not belonging? Perhaps you were adopted, you were a different race or culture and you had that feeling of where do I fit? Do you deal with a sense of anxiety? Do you ever feel a sense of unworthiness? Have you shown up in relationships, friendships, or any aspects of your life that you haven't been proud of or that you have shame about? Have you held secrets and told lies? Matt's Question: Matt wants to start dating again but would like guidance on how to heal from his deep childhood wounding. Matt's Key Insights and Ahas: He moved into a van to pursue a new life. He felt isolated after three months. He kept his trauma a secret. He was sexually abused. He was adopted by parents of a different race. He used drugs and alcohol to cope with his trauma. He is on a self-awareness journey. He opened up to his partner and they broke up. He cheated on his partner during their time together. He joined a 12-step program. He is struggling with rejection and failure. He doesn't truly trust himself. He has always felt like an outcast in many ways. He hasn't been able to love and commit in past relationships. He knows he is loved and wanted but often forgets. How to Get Over It and On With It: Use meditation and breathwork to rebirth himself and remove judgmental thoughts. Have compassion for his journey. Know that he deserves to be loved and accepted. Find a practitioner to help him love his inner child. Sponsor: Air Doctor — is an air filter and air purifier that creates the healthiest environment in your home. It filters out dangerous contaminants and allergens with an ultra HEPA filter that removes 99.99% of tested bacteria and viruses. If you want to order an Air Doctor today with a 30-day money-back guarantee, go to AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code "Overit" and get up to 35% off on selected models. Resources: Christine Hassler — Join the Free Over It and On With It Community Christine Hassler Podcasts Including Coaches Corner Christine on Facebook Expectation Hangover, by Christine Hassler @ChristinHassler on Twitter @ChristineHassler on Instagram @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram Assist@ChristineHassler.com Jill@ChristineHassler.com — For information on any of my services Get on the Waitlist to be coached on the show. Get on the list to be notified about the upcoming certification program for coaches.

If you want to truly understand the power of surrender and acceptance, don't miss this episode! KUTE BLACKSON is a beloved inspirational speaker and transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events he organizes around the world as well as at outside events including A-Fest, YPO (Young Presidents' Organization), and EO (Entrepreneurs' Organization). He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one hundred of the world's foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple: To awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically and fulfill their true life's purpose. www.kuteblackson.com