Radio Toilet ov Hell

Oh boy. This week your boys watched Metal Missionaries, a 2017 documentary that is ostensibly about Christian metal. That being said, most of the bands featured aren’t really metal and, if for some reason you actually wanted to learn about Christian heavy metal, you’d be better off skimming a wikipedia article and talking to an XTREME youth pastor. Instead, what we have here is a sloppy, amateurish documentary that points a camera at a bunch of really odd dudes and features some of the most jarring and off-putting narrative voiceovers you’re likely to hear in any motion picture. We discuss the film, the phenomenon of Christian heavy metal, and helpfully provide plenty of samples from the documentary so that you don’t ever have to actually watch this on your own. It’s an episode. Music featured on this ‘sode: Deathgrave – On All Fours This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

This week on Toilet Radio: Jordo watches meaty men slapping meat / Power Trip: the Festival might be the biggest rip-off we’ve ever seen. Let’s explore this extremely poorly-named heavy metal festival that’ll happen this fall where they do Coachella. / The Keep Metal Dangerous crowd should try experimenting with K2. / Avenged Sevenfold smoked DMT with a shaman and came up with an exciting new way to give Ticketmaster more money. / Joe is the CEO of the Liquid Death water company now. / Mick Mars, the only halfway decent person in Motley Crue has decided to go scorched earth on the dickheads that have hampered him for 40 years. Folks, it’s a good one.  Music featured on this ‘sode: Skinher – You Are Next! This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

Bad news: I got the flu so bad that I lost my voice which means no new episode of Toilet Radio this week. Good news: You get to enjoy this FREE episode of PREMIUM Toilet Radio from our Patreon because I cannot currently speak into a microphone! This bonus episode, part one of a two-part series, has us playing FANTASY LABELBALL, the game of hostile label takeover, with Napalm Records. You would not believe how many fucking bands are currently signed to this long-running Austrian label. In about 80 minutes we got through less than half. Obviously, Napalm needs our help to trim the fat and make it the best goddamn label it can be. We pull no punches, spare no feelings, lay off the underperformers and promote the up and comers. “You there, in the elf costume! YOU’RE FIRED.” Join in on the Labelball fun below and subscribe to the Patreon if you’d like to hear part two (out now!). Join us next week for a brand new episode when my vocal chords aren’t completely shitted out. Music Featured on this ‘Sode: Audrey Horne – Out of the City This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

This week on Toilet Radio: Breno announces his retirement from the Toilet ov Hell podcast. You should all send him some money so he can buy a gold watch. / Michale Graves had to testify to try to protect his Proud Boy friends from getting hammered on fucking sedition charges LOL / Russian Circles joins in on the fun of not selling merchandise at European shows, immediately issue a very stupid statement about… / Sargent House is imploding! Related, Botch reissues are coming soon / How in the world does Mudvayne think they’re doing to sell out amphitheaters across the country on this upcoming tour? / Listening to modern rock radio because I can’t get enough of that one Sublime record./ It sounds like dez from Coal Chamber came real close to dying of Covid. / Steel Panther fans cancel their own children from life. Folks, it’s a show. Music featured on this ‘sode: Phase Meridian – Psychic Canine Overlords This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

This week on Toilet Radio: My apartment got flooded with my neighbor’s shit and piss / Avenged Sevenfold are BACK and putting together insanely funny concert bills along with some real iffy-sounding music! / Robert Smith goes hard / We cover the latest Rolling Stone list debacle, “The 100 Greatest Heavy Metal Songs of All Time”. We gotta talk about every single entry on this thing, argue about the validity of the choice and the accuracy of the ranking and also try to figure out what the deal is with Warhammer. Folks, this is a good one. Music featured on this ‘sode: Shit Hexis – Schleier  This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

We jack off the horses and get nothing / ROCKLAHOMA where the rock comes sweeping’ down the plain / Ronnie Radke is dragging a bunch of other bands down, is 40 years old / Dave Lombardo’s all-percussion jazz odyssey is going to whip ass / Igorr ain’t gonna pay your damn hell ass merch cut / You only think you’re being screwed on Ticketmaster fees because you’re uneducated / Spotify thinks bands will play for exposure, are sadly correct / Dave Mustaine is on round 8 of trying to sell NFTs / Ash from Sumerian harassed Tom Morello to justify his antivax bullshit. It a show. Music featured on this show: Kruelty – Harder Than Before This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

This week on Toilet Radio: Joe supported the scene – huge mistake. / A visit to an early 2000s Hot Topic-themed bar turns sour as we discuss watching your own youth get regurgitated back into your mouth like a lil baby bird / Ash from Sumerian has decided now, three years after he could have made some hay with it, to be an antivax guy. Let’s dive into Ash, Sumerian, and his extremely successful movie director father. / Tim Lambesis has a few new side projects (including one with the giant bodybuilder guy Joe has been following for years) / Venom Prison have succumbed to a terminal illness: being from the UK / Monuments refuse to get gouged by merch cuts and VATs on European shows and the guy from Stick to Your Guns presents a shockingly articulate vision of solidarity and organization among musicians. Folks, this is a show. Music featured on this show: Temptress – Serpentine This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

This week: We’re talking about WEEEEEEEEED, buying roach-infested furniture, and ChristXcore making a come back at Furnace Fest this year in a BIG way. Seriously, there are like a dozen Christian bands from the early 2000s on this fucking thing. Tommy Vext is circling the toilet and we couldn’t be more pleased. Fear Factory angered the gods and go on tour with Twiztid. Finally, Spotify has decided to get even worse and Bandcamp is over in the corner making big strides. We talk about the streaming economy and make a few suggestions to fix this shit. Join me, Jordan, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego on this week’s episode. Music featured on this show: Barren Heir – Some of Its Parts This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

This week on Toilet Radio: We talk about Rolling Stone’s horrible “50 Horrible Albums by Brilliant Artists” list. / Nebraskan Man Steals Fake Biker Vest / Dave Mustaine forgot to pay the guy what drew the art for his newest record. / The government aint gonna do shit about Ticketmaster / Periphery is on the forefront of using AI for tacky, cheap purposes / Introducing the newest record label focused on the past: Bluegrape Music / Digby vs Tony Victory at Hell in the Cell / Ronnie Radke wants to parlay his experience hitting women into a career as a professional wrestler. / Finally, we look at some strange new band announcements for Milwaukee Metal Fest. FOLKS IT’S A GOOD ‘UN. Music featured on this show: Parasitario – Five to Die This program is available on Spotify. It is also available on iTunes or whatever they call it now, where you can rate, review, and subscribe. Give us money on Patreon to get exclusive bonus episodes and other cool shit.

Toilet Radio picked six songs, Riff Raff picks six better ones. TR covered the Handegg Championship; RR shits on the World Cup. You decide who’s better—a podcast that plays you six choons every episode 😎, and one that only plays one with about an hour of preamble 🤓 How have you let us get away with this shit for a whole year?!?! It’s actually been longer since Hans and Eenzy made like a couple of auralnecrophiliacs and took over Pat and Kit‘s two-headed baby bird only fly it straight into the terrible-multilingual-pun dirt. Once again joined by their avian associate, Roldy drops in with some surprising picks that the boiz on the tip of their toes wooden clogs. This episode is already delayed enough as it is, so I’ll keep it short: Weakeners beware, these tunes below rip hard, slap harder, are so fvcking trve kvlt that just listening to them put your boy Eenzy in the hospital for two weeks.                  Brutal Now getcha pull. New Music Features This Week Intro Track Beekeeper – Black World Cup Winter Hans’s Picks Swelling Repulsion – The Door under the Mountain Horrid Sight – Dark Hallucinations Eenzy’s Picks Heriot – Coalescence Tomarum – As Black Forms From Grey Roldy’s Picks Alburnum – Ik Kan Niet Zien Darkest Era – The Ashen Plague