Earth Dreams: Zen Buddhism and the Soul of the World

Greetings Friends,As we begin this new year, I want to spend sometime with the Heart of Great Perfect Wisdom Sutra. This chant is one that is chanted across Mahayana Buddhist traditions, within our own Zen school, it is chanted daily in most monasteries and regularly in many practice communities.It’s a pithy teaching that cuts to the heart of our practice. And it starts with the Bodhisattva of Great Compassion (the archetype of compassion) practicing Prajna Paramita (which translates as wisdom beyond wisdom). Right here, in the first line of this chant we see a fundamental relationship between compassion and wisdom. Wisdom is the practice of Great Compassion. Great Compassion, the activity of wisdom beyond wisdom.There is a koan about the Bodhisattva of Great Compassion that I am quite fond of and would like to share.Blue Cliff Record Case 89—Hands and Eyes of Great CompassionYunyan asked Daowu, “‘How does the Bodhisattva Guanyin use those many hands and eyes?”’Daowu answered, “‘It is like someone in the middle of the night reaching behind her head for the pillow.”’Yunyan said, “I understand.”Daowu asked, “How do you understand it?”Yunyan said, “‘All over the body are hands and eyes.”Daowu said, “That is very well expressed, but it is only eight-tenths of the answer.”Yunyan said, “How would you say it, Elder Brother?”Daowu said, “Throughout the body are hands and eyes.The koan begins with two dharma brothers, two spiritual friends, walking together. One of the characters for friend in the Japanese kanji is the character for moon, twice. Two moons walking together. So intimate. The moon is a symbol we use in Zen to refer to our original, awakened nature. Two original humans, seeing each other’s nature.I always think about this poem by Rumi called Sema, Deep ListeningThere is a moon in every human being, learn to be companions with itGive more of your life to this listeningIts like friendship is the act of seeing the awakened nature in another, nurturing their inner moon. And allowing our awakened nature to be seen by another. Letting them nurture our inner moon.And we also learn through friendship and through practice, how to companion ourselves—to nurture our own inner moons. To give more of our lives to this listening.Listening is an aspect of compassion. Kanzeon one manifestation of the bodhisattva of compassion hears the cries of the world.Listening is also a dharma gate to deep intimacy, wisdom beyond wisdom–many teachers awakened upon hearing a sound. Listening can help us move beyond the realm of concepts. We listen, and for many the sense of self expands. The whole body hears. Hearing open our awareness to the vast expanse of Mind’s nature, spacious, without bounds.So we have two friends, two companions, the intimacy of friendship, deep listening, nurturing awakened nature in each other—And one friend poses a question—do you have friends like that? Who ask questions that draw you in? Ponder aspects of the dharma together? Ponder life together? Are you a friend like that? I think in Zen practice we are learning to be this kind of friend to ourselves, and others. We are practicing refining our questioning—and this can be playful.What do you think the bodhisattva of great compassion does with all those hands and eyes?In one depiction of Avalokiteshvara they have 10K arms and hands, in each hand sometimes they hold an eye (to see/bear witness to the suffering in the world) and sometimes they have a different kind of tool or instrument to help relieve suffering.Pause here—because we are learning more about compassion through these images, another facet of the jewel is being revealed. Compassion has this quality of bearing witness, of hearing, of seeing—of being present with. So often our attention—our kind, open attention is medicine—is healingAnd then another aspect of compassion is more active—taking the form of the medicine in the moment, responding as best as we can.In Shantideva’s prayer, we become whatever is needed to relieve the suffering in the world, in others, in ourselves—may I be a bridge, a boat, a ship—may I be doctor, nurse and medicine.I like this question because they are playing in the mythology of buddhism, but they are also pondering it in real time. What is compassion? How does it function?So one responds—its like reaching back for a pillow in the middle of the night.Compassion is so natural—its happening even when we are unconscious or semi-conscious.When we are emptied out of the self who is trying to be good, to do it right—compassion, compassion.Here in the reaching in the darkness, there is something about spontaneity, uncontrivedness, naturalness.Is compassion our nature? How would we know? Can we even track all the moments of compassion that sustain our lives minute by minute, day by day?More immediate answer might have been reaching out and squeezing his hand, or scratching his back, or handing him a piece of fruit or some water—Don’t just tell me about compassion being our nature—show me.But this image is good. Its an invitation. Something we can take with us and explore. How are your very own hands enacting compassion?What is your experience of letting the thinking mind get quiet, or open? What happens when you slip below the story of self?How does love arise? what does it look like now?…I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions in the styles of IFS and somatic mindfulness. I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more.Below you can find a list of weekly and monthly online and in-person practice opportunities. I will be traveling to Oregon in February and will be facilitating three events of varying lengths while I am there (most of which are taking place at Great Vow Zen Monastery.)Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. Feel free to join anytime. Event last about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKMonthly Online Practice EventSky+Rose: An emergent online community braiding spirit and soul First Sundays10:30A - 12:30P PT / 1:30P - 3:30P ETnext Meeting March 2ndIn-Person in OregonFeb 1 — Sky+Rose Daylong Retreat: The Strange Garden of DesireThe strange garden of desire: wandering, dreaming, feasting, tending, destroying.In this daylong workshop each person will explore their singular Strange Garden of Desires, taking a fresh look at what loves, longings, obsessions and obligations live within us.Through parts work, meditation, and practices of somatic expression we will engage our gardens in five distinct ways: wandering, dreaming, tending, feasting and destroying.Feb 2 - 9 — Pari-Nirvana Sesshin: A Meditation Retreat exploring Life, Death & the UnknownFeb 13 - 16 — Emergent Darkness – A Creative Process, Parts Work and Zen RetreatIn-Person in Ohio(See Mud Lotus Sangha Calendar for weekly meditation events, classes and retreats) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

A monk asked Hongzhi, “What about the ones who have gone?”Hongzhi said, “White clouds rise to the top of the valleys, blue peakslean into the empty sky.”The monk asked, “What about the ones who return?”Hongzhi said, “Heads covered in white hair, they leave the cliffs andvalleys. In the dead of night they descend through the clouds to themarket stalls.”“What about the ones who neither come nor go?”“The stone woman calls them back from their dream of the world.”As the year comes to an end, I have been spending time with the archetype of the Stone Woman. A character who mysteriously turns up throughout the Chan koan tradition. We find her getting up to dance in the Precious Mirror Samadhi, giving birth to a child at night in the Mountains and Rivers Sutra and calling us back from our dream of the world in this dialogue with Hongzhi.Who is this woman of stone?Perhaps you have met her as the ancient boulders that watch over you during a favorite hike, or the large rocks you used to climb and rest on as a child. Perhaps you’ve held her hand while walking on the beach or along a river. Or maybe you’ve encountered her in the stone buildings or concrete sidewalks of your neighborhood.Her stillness and quiet are reminiscent of your own deeply silent Mind.Her pregnant darkness allows all of creation to spring forth. Including you, and me, and each thought, word, expression, desire, feeling and sensation.Koans contain layers of meaning, and while their intention is to aid us in awakening to the profound truth of non-separation—they also have a way of meeting us exactly where we are. So as one year turns into another. Let’s take the questioner’s inquiries to heart.What about the ones who have gone? They ask—Well, where have you gone? These last 12 months. What/who did you visit? What did you see? What experiences did you seek out? What did you learn from your going?Is there a word, phrase, image—that speaks to your going and learning this last year?Hongzhi gives us this one: “White clouds rise to the top of the valleys, blue peaks lean into the empty sky.”Then we are asked: What about the ones who return?What did you return to? Where did you take refuge?What are places of return for you? Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual? Who do you return to?How have you shared or offered yourself? Who/what are you in service to?Is there a connection to going/learning—and returning?Is there an image, word, phrase connected to returning, refuge or offering?Hongzhi again gives us one: “Heads covered in white hair, they leave the cliffs and valleys. In the dead of night they descend through the clouds to the market stalls.”Lastly the questioner asks, what about those who neither come nor go?What have you stayed with? Whether its sobriety, a relationship, vows, commitments, a creative project, a home, a child—reflect on stayingWhat commitments did you honor? What values did you live by?Reflect on the challenges and joys of staying.What image, word or phrase captures the art of staying for you.Hongzhi says: The stone woman calls them back from their dream of the worldNow, for a moment let yourself be here, let thoughts come and go, body sensations come and go, but really be here at the stillness of your being.Whats it like to be here—here?Be the stone woman.Connect to the stillness and quiet of stone—the unconditioned heartPrajna Paramita—wisdom beyond wisdomThere is something beautiful here, being called back from our dreams of the world, the things we did, didn’t do, our learnings.To just be here, right hereAnd let our dreams for the next year be in communion with the dream of the stone woman, the dream of awakening—What is that like?To let your dreams merge with the great dream, your life touch this one unconditioned life.To close, I’ll leave you with this poem by Marie Howe. Sending you blessings for the New Year.SINGULARITYby Marie Howe(after Stephen Hawking)Do you sometimes want to wake up to the singularitywe once were?so compact nobodyneeded a bed, or food or money —nobody hiding in the school bathroomor home alonepulling open the drawerwhere the pills are kept.For every atom belonging to me as goodBelongs to you. Remember?There was no Nature. Nothem. No teststo determine if the elephantgrieves her calf or ifthe coral reef feels pain. Trashedoceans don’t speak English or Farsi or French;would that we could wake up to what we were— when we were ocean and before thatto when sky was earth, and animal was energy, and rock wasliquid and stars were space and space was notat all — nothingbefore we came to believe humans were so importantbefore this awful loneliness.Can molecules recall it?what once was? before anything happened?No I, no We, no one. No wasNo verb no nounonly a tiny tiny dot brimming withis is is is isAll everything homeI’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions in the styles of IFS and somatic mindfulness. I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more.Below you can find a list of weekly and monthly online and in-person practice opportunities. I will be traveling to Oregon in February and will be facilitating three events of varying lengths while I am there (most of which are taking place at Great Vow Zen Monastery.)Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. Feel free to join anytime. Event last about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKMonthly Online Practice EventSky+Rose: The Ritual of Being Lost on Sunday January 510:30A - 12:30P PT / 1:30P - 3:30P ETRSVPIn-Person in OregonFeb 1 — Sky+Rose Daylong Retreat: The Strange Garden of Desire The strange garden of desire: wandering, dreaming, feasting, tending, destroying.In this daylong workshop each person will explore their singular Strange Garden of Desires, taking a fresh look at what loves, longings, obsessions and obligations live within us.Through parts work, meditation, and practices of somatic expression we will engage our gardens in five distinct ways: wandering, dreaming, tending, feasting and destroying.Feb 2 - 9 — Pari-Nirvana Sesshin: A Meditation Retreat exploring Life, Death & the UnknownFeb 13 - 16 — Emergent Darkness – A Creative Process, Parts Work and Zen RetreatIn-Person in Ohio(See Mud Lotus Sangha Calendar for weekly meditation events, classes and retreats) This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

When we enter the path of practice, two paths open up simultaneously—first we have the path of what we think we are doing. This is the practice method, the conceptual framework, the spoken vow that we turn towards, that we make effort at, that we can talk about more or less.The other path is the path of what is actually happening. It is darker, more mysterious, often below the level of consciousness, embodied in our soma. This path is before words, before concepts and identification, its a path that is more like an open field, without any directions, markers or guardrails. The pathless path.When someone asked one of Dongshan’s students—what does your teacher teach?The student replied: The dark way, the bird’s path and the open hand.As we enter the dark moon time of the year, the period of late autumn/early winter where the nights are long and dark. I want to talk about the Dark Side of Enlightenment—the path of what’s actually happening. To approach, we lean into story + metaphor and listen with our deeply secret minds, our innermost hearts.In the Zen tradition we celebrate the Buddha’s Awakening in early December, as a culmination of the year of practice. When we tell the Buddha’s story it is often told in the style of The Hero’s Journey. Its a path of revelation, hard work, mastering techniques and the conquering of Maara.Another story, I find important to tell is the story of the Buddha’s wife—Yasodhara.This story is from the Hidden Lamp, a collection of koans from the Buddhist Women Ancestors, the source of this story comes from the Sarvastivadin tradition.Yasodhara was Siddartha Gautama’s wife. In one of the less well-known stories told about her life, Yasdohara (The Glorious One) and Siddartha had been married in many previous lifetimes. The night that Siddartha left home, Yasodhara had eight dreams that foretold his awakening, and so she encouraged him to leave. They made love before he left, and their son, Rahula, was conceived.For the next six years, Yasodhara remained pregnant with Rahula, and although she did not leave home, she traveled the same spiritual path and experienced the same difficulties as her husband Siddhartha. She gave birth to Rahula (Moon God in this particular story) on the full moon night of the Buddha’s enlightenment. She prophesied that Siddhartha had awakened and that he would return in six years. Later, she and her son Rahula both became part of the Buddhist sangha.Yasodhara’s path is the Yin to the Buddha’s Yang way. It reminds us that in truth both are important, and make up the complete path of this life as spiritual practice.In Yasodhara’s story we open to mysteries of dream, embodiment, pregnancy, intuition and birth. We learn about the patience of staying with, of trusting the unseen processes at work. We ripen through our devotion to life—the creative force alive in each of us.So, let’s look a little closer at some of the teachings in Yasodhara’s story.Yasodhara has a series of eight dreams.Dreams—where do they come from?These images that sometimes seem to ring of deep clarity— yet appear when we are in deep slumber, one with the night—seemingly unconscious. Dreams illuminate the dark, dark.How is it that information, awareness, insight, wisdom, deep feeling and profound experience can happen in the times when our conscious mind is deeply asleep, when we are seemingly unaware of our surroundings?Dream invites us to explore the nature of mind/consciousness. The relationship between sleep and wakefulness. What is your experience of dream? Have you ever had a dream of insight, clarity or deep feeling? Have you ever trusted information that came through a dream? Do dream images linger in your heart from time to time? What is dream?I’d love to hear your reflections to these questions. Feel free to leave a comment!Throughout the buddhist tradition, dream is used as a metaphor for the nature of phenomena, thoughts, sensations, feelings, experience. We say they are dream-like, in that they can’t be grasped. If we try to hold onto a moment of experience, it slips away only to be filled with the ever presence of this.Yasodhara’s path invites us to explore the nature of dream and sleep. To include the wisdom of the night, in this mysterious path of practice-awakening.Many speak of pregnancy as a time when intuition is heightened and dreams take on a visionary quality.Another line from her story says—although she never left home.What is home? We often refer to insight or breakthroughs in Zen practice as a homecoming. When I lived at the monastery, many people would talk about the monastery as feeling like their home. Spiritual practice can often open us up to our innermost home.Byron Katie’s commentary to the Diamond Sutra is called A Mind at Home with Itself. I love this phrase. We can know this too. Our being deeply at home in itself.Mind resting in its own nature.Chozen Roshi would use the phrase—always at Home. This touches something about what Yasodhara knew or discovered. Something that we can know or discover. The path back home doesn't require that we go anywhere.Or, how could we leave it—its always right here.Yasodhara’s path also reminds us of the quality of surrender and trust.In the dark, darken further—instructs the dao de jingAnd so, she does. She trusts the process of pregnancy, she carries the sacred embryo, her connection to the Buddha extends beyond space and time.This is something else we can learn from her story.There are times in our spiritual practice, when we don’t know what is happening. It feels dark, regressive. Maybe we are physically tired or mentally fatigued. Maybe we simply can’t make out what we are doing or our motivation feels low. Maybe we feel a call to surrender to the mystery or are in a period of great doubt. We are still connected to this path of awakening, the Buddha loves us, deeply.We don’t talk about the love of the Buddha’s and ancestors a lot in the Zen tradition. But its true. The Buddha loves us. Our awakened nature wants us to wake-up, to realize ourselves.My teacher Hogen Roshi would say, the dark times are when our vows go the deepest.Chozen Roshi would encourage me to pray to the Buddhas and Ancestors whenever I hit periods of doubt, confusion or fear. The Buddhas and Ancestors are always available to offer support or guidance, she would say. You just have to ask. At other times she would say, We can’t do this practice alone, ask the Buddhas and Ancestors for help.As we enter the period of winter, today, the solstice—the longest night of the year. May we remember that support and love is available always. May we discover the mind at home in itself. And nurture the seeds of awakening in everyone we meet.…Thanks for reading friends. This is an excerpt from a longer dharma talk, feel free to listen to the full talk, in it I also explore the archetype of the stone woman. I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I offer 1:1 Spiritual Counseling sessions in the styles of IFS and somatic mindfulness. I also offer astrology readings. Check out my website to learn more.Below you can find a list of weekly and monthly online and in-person practice opportunities. I will be traveling to Oregon in February and will be facilitating three events of varying lengths, while I am there (most of which are taking place at Great Vow Zen Monastery.) Weekly Online Meditation EventMonday Night Dharma — 6P PT / 9P ET Join weekly for drop-in meditation and dharma talk. Feel free to join anytime. Event last about 1.5 hours. ZOOM LINKMonthly Online Practice EventSky+Rose: The Ritual of Being Lost on Sunday January 510:30A - 12:30P PT / 1:30P - 3:30P ETRSVPIn-Person in OregonFeb 1 — Sky+Rose Daylong Retreat: The Strange Garden of Desire (more information coming soon, save the date!)Feb 2 - 9 — Pari-Nirvana Sesshin: A Meditation Retreat exploring Life, Death & the UnknownFeb 13 - 16 — Emergent Darkness – A Creative Process, Parts Work and Zen RetreatIn-Person in Ohio (See Mud Lotus Sangha Calendar for weekly meditation events, classes and retreats)Thanks for reading Earth Dreams! This post is public so feel free to share it. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

As the calendar year comes to an end, I offer this poem as a re-write of a text that one of my Sanghas has been studying. The text is called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, one story says it was one of the last teachings given by the Buddha before passing into PariNirvana.I re-wrote the teaching as a way of distilling and remembering the practices we did together during our Autumn Ango. The teaching is about liberation and the profound realization of our interconnected life. I offer it as a capping phrase to this Autumn of our practice life, and as something we can turn over in our hearts throughout the winter and coming year. For the dharma teachings always get better with age.The Eight Realizations: Pith Instructions for Living a Joyful LifeI—ImpermanenceAll the world is impermanent. Change is our nature.Our bodies, minds, the body of the great earth and everyone we loveThe universe with its stars and solar systemsWill change, are changing, will decay and give way toSomething newRealize the truth of impermanenceAnd wisdom will be your guideII—Clinging/SatisfactionWhen we try to hold on to something that is changingWe sufferGreed, hoarding, taking more than one’s shareThis is clingingThis is sufferingPractice satisfaction, know how much is enoughLive in reciprocity with the earth and all beingsIII—SimplicityThe mind is insatiable, always wanting moreand more, and moreFollow the path of liberationLive simplyMake wisdom + compassion your sole vocationIV—Joyful EffortTo follow the WayIs like trying to swim upstreamIt takes enthusiastic perseveranceAnd great carePractice with others andYou are buoyed by their generous currentsV—MindfulnessMindfulness is a great friendAttention is healingTruly an act of loveListen to the wisdom of yourBody, feelings, mind and awarenessPractice discernmentAnd you won’t be misledVI—GenerosityGenerosity is a pathA generous heart is always fullTake joy in givingAnd receivingAnd you will realizeThe gift of this lifeVII—InterconnectionVast is the Buddha’s robe of liberationA formless field of interconnectionAnd kindnessTransmute unskillful desiresInto the heart of bodhicittaFill your bowl with compassionAnd offer it to allVIII—VowIn this world of suffering and loveRemember that you are not separateFrom anyone or anythingVow to walk this pathFor the benefit of all beingsThroughout time and spaceThese are the 8 realizations, the practices of Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, Ancestors and other great beings. Practice them, develop wisdom and compassion, and live in reciprocity with all beings. This is the way to living a joyful life.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner Patrick Kennyo Dunn, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by. We have weekly meditation gatherings and monthly Saturday offerings as well.Thanks for reading friends! The recording is from a dharma talk that was given during Monday Night Meditation. You can find out more below. Also, I would love to hear from you, please feel free to like or comment on this post—and share it!Current OfferingsSpiritual Counseling — IFS informed, mindful somatic therapyAstrology— I am starting to offer astrology readings. I have found astrology to be a helpful map for connecting to the more mythic unfolding of life. It can help us honor our gifts, navigate challenges, get perspective and connect with planetary allies. It can also offer guidance on the questions that arise in our lives and aid us in stepping more fully into our wholeness. I am currently offering the following types of readings* Natal Chart Readings* Astro Counseling Package* Transit Readings* Great Work of Your Life Reading* Astrology Gift Card — give the gift of an astrology readingArt Shop — I sell my original paintings and printsMonday Night Meditation + DharmaEvery Monday 6P PT / 9P ETJoin me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, which gives us an opportunity to practice inquiry and embodying love as we discover our Awakened Nature together.This event is hosted by the Zen Community of Oregon. All are welcome to join. Drop in any time.Zoom Link for Monday NightSky + Rose: An Emergent Online Contemplative Community Braiding Spirit and SoulSunday Jan 510:30A PT - 12:30P PT / 1:30P ET - 3:30P ETWhat is it? An experiment in the impossible task of excluding nothing and loving everything. An alchemy of play, presence and wandering into the shadows, you could say.Sky & Rose is a practice container that will:* Center group parts work practices to explore the fluidity, span and dream of who we are - somebody, nobody, everybody. You will be invited to express yourself vocally and physically, engage your imagination and play outside habituation.* Do interpersonal and group meditation practices of seeing, being and awakening.* Directly explore emotional embodiment & shadow work* Include Beauty, Art & Wonderment as core practice elementsThrough rituals of imagination, meditation technologies and co-created fields of intentional play, we can slip out, for a time, of confining identities defined by our histories, culture and comfort. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

While sitting under the bodhi tree through the night, Shakyamuni Buddha saw the morning star, was enlightened and said:I, together with the great earth and all sentient beings, simultaneously attain the way.In the Zen tradition today is Bodhi day. The day that we commemorate the Buddha’s awakening and celebrate our buddha nature. Last night, locally, people from the Zen Columbus Sangha, Mud Lotus Sangha and Grove City Zen held a meditation vigil and sat into the dark of the night at the Pragmatic Buddhist Center. It was moving to join together across local sanghas here in Columbus, and sit with so many other practitioners across the globe.I’ve been reflecting on the Buddha’s life this week, the story I keep coming back to is when in the midst of exhaustion he has this memory from childhood arise of sitting in contentment and ease under the shade of a rose apple tree watching the plowing of the golden grain.Here’s an excerpt from the Pali Cannon.I thought: 'I recall once, when my father the Sakyan was working, and I was sitting in the cool shade of a rose-apple tree, then — quite withdrawn from sensuality, withdrawn from unskillful mental qualities — I entered & remained in the first jhana: rapture & pleasure born from withdrawal, accompanied by directed thought & evaluation. Could that be the path to Awakening?' Then, following on that memory, came the realization: 'That is the path to Awakening.' I thought: 'So why am I afraid of that pleasure that has nothing to do with sensuality, nothing to do with unskillful mental qualities?' I thought: 'I am no longer afraid of that pleasure that has nothing to do with sensuality, nothing to do with unskillful mental qualities, but it is not easy to achieve that pleasure with a body so extremely emaciated. Suppose I were to take some solid food: some rice & porridge.' So I took some solid food: some rice & porridge. Now five monks had been attending on me, thinking, 'If Gotama, our contemplative, achieves some higher state, he will tell us.' But when they saw me taking some solid food — some rice & porridge — they were disgusted and left me, thinking, 'Gotama the contemplative is living luxuriously. He has abandoned his exertion and is backsliding into abundance.'I love the reflection, could this be the path to awakening, this is the path to awakening.My teacher used to quote the bible saying, that to enter the kingdom of heaven, one must become like a child.Is it possible, that recovering something basic that we all knew as children is the path to awakening?To reclaim wonderment, to reconnect with innocence, to allow that innate curiosity and joy of just being you, alive together with the world.Today, on Bodhi Day, I wish that for us.…I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner Patrick Kennyo Dunn, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by. We have weekly meditation gatherings and monthly Saturday offerings as well.Thanks for reading friends! The recording is from a dharma talk that was given during Monday Night Meditation. You can find out more below. Also, I would love to hear from you, please feel free to like or comment on this post—and share it! Current OfferingsSpiritual Counseling — IFS informed, mindful somatic therapyAstrology— I am starting to offer astrology readings. I have found astrology to be a helpful map for connecting to the more mythic unfolding of life. It can help us honor our gifts, navigate challenges, get perspective and connect with planetary allies. It can also offer guidance on the questions that arise in our lives and aid us in stepping more fully into our wholeness. I am currently offering the following types of readingsNatal Chart ReadingsAstro Counseling PackageTransit ReadingsGreat Work of Your Life ReadingAstrology Gift Card — give the gift of an astrology readingArt Shop — I sell my original paintings and printsMonday Night Meditation + DharmaEvery Monday 6P PT / 9P ETJoin me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, which gives us an opportunity to practice inquiry and embodying love as we discover our Awakened Nature together.This event is hosted by the Zen Community of Oregon. All are welcome to join. Drop in any time.Zoom Link for Monday NightSky + Rose: An Emergent Online Contemplative Community Braiding Spirit and SoulSunday Jan 510:30A PT - 12:30P PT / 1:30P ET - 3:30P ETWhat is it? An experiment in the impossible task of excluding nothing and loving everything. An alchemy of play, presence and wandering into the shadows, you could say.Sky & Rose is a practice container that will:* Center group parts work practices to explore the fluidity, span and dream of who we are - somebody, nobody, everybody. You will be invited to express yourself vocally and physically, engage your imagination and play outside habituation.* Do interpersonal and group meditation practices of seeing, being and awakening.* Directly explore emotional embodiment & shadow work* Include Beauty, Art & Wonderment as core practice elementsThrough rituals of imagination, meditation technologies and co-created fields of intentional play, we can slip out, for a time, of confining identities defined by our histories, culture and comfort. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

What do you want?What do you really want?The cyber Monday sales have been flashing items, workshops, experiences that we could possibly want, that we should want, that we somehow need.In one of my Sanghas we are exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings. This past week we have been exploring the nature of desire.The invitation to explore is part of what I love about the Zen Buddhist tradition. What is it like to bring a non-judgmental attention to the ordinary and natural experience of desire? To your relationship to desire?Sometimes desire carries a lot of shame, I want things that aren’t good for me or that I was told I shouldn’t want.Or confusion, I was told that my wanting was wrong, selfish, sinful.Some of us may have distanced ourselves from desire. Others may feel that our desires drive our lives in unhelpful ways.If we look closely we see that desire animates us. Desire fuels our life, seeds our dreams, feeds us, motivates many actions and can open the gate to actual pleasure, satisfaction, gratitude, compassion and connection.This podcast is a meditation on desire. It’s an invitation to reflect on your relationship to desire and to explore how the energy of desire is linked to compassion and interconnection.As I was reflecting on desire I listened to an interview with Bayo Akomolafe called From the Skin of Things to the Bone of Things, the interview was moving and spanned many topics at some point he posited.I wonder what a sensuous solidarity looks like, maybe it lives somewhere between the cracks of problems and solutions. I wonder what a sensuous becoming monstrous looks like—I wonder what it means to shape-shift. I wonder what the humpless camel said as it approached the desert. It wasn’t how do I solve this desert, maybe the solution for the desert is to shape-shift, to grow humps—to become the desert.I heard him say that and I felt a yes well up inside me. This is how desire becomes compassion, this is how longing opens to non-separation, this is how our vows intertwine with the vows of each other and the great earth. A sensuous solidarity is another name for bodhicitta.Deep love for all beings and this world.To close, I’d like to share a poem by Mary Oliver. I consider this a capping phrase to this meditation on desire. An offering and a gift to a heart that is learning to love one’s self and this beautiful, heart-breaking world.To Begin With, the Sweet Grassby Mary OliverI.Will the hungry ox stand in the field and not eatof the sweet grass?Will the owl bite off its own wings?Will the lark forget to lift its body in the air orforget to sing?Will the rivers run upstream?Behold, I say—beholdthe reliability and the finery and the teachingsof this gritty earth gift.II.Eat bread and understand comfort.Drink water, and understand delight.Visit the garden where the scarlet trumpetsare opening their bodies for the hummingbirdswho are drinking the sweetness, who arethrillingly gluttonous.For one thing leads to another.Soon you will notice how stones shine underfoot.Eventually tides will be the only calendar you believe in.And someone's face, whom you love, will be as a starboth intimate and ultimate,and you will be both heart-shaken and respectful.And you will hear the air itself, like a beloved, whisper:oh, let me, for a while longer, enter the twobeautiful bodies of your lungs.III.The witchery of livingis my whole conversationwith you, my darlings.All I can tell you is what I know.Look, and look again.This world is not just a little thrill for the eyes.It's more than bones.It's more than the delicate wrist with its personal pulse.It's more than the beating of the single heart.It's praising.It's giving until the giving feels like receiving.You have a life—just imagine that!You have this day, and maybe another, and maybestill another.IV.Someday I am going to ask my friend Paulus,the dancer, the potter,to make me a begging bowlwhich I believemy soul needs.And if I come to you,to the door of your comfortable housewith unwashed clothes and unclean fingernails,will you put something into it?I would like to take this chance.I would like to give you this chance.V.We do one thing or another; we stay the same, or wechange.Congratulations, ifyou have changed.VI.Let me ask you this.Do you also think that beauty exists for somefabulous reason?And, if you have not been enchanted by this adventure—your life—what would do for you?VII.What I loved in the beginning, I think, was mostly myself.Never mind that I had to, since somebody had to.That was many years ago.Since then I have gone out from my confinements,though with difficulty.I mean the ones that thought to rule my heart.I cast them out, I put them on the mush pile.They will be nourishment somehow (everything is nourishmentsomehow or another).And I have become the child of the clouds, and of hope.I have become the friend of the enemy, whoever that is.I have become older and, cherishing what I have learned,I have become younger.And what do I risk to tell you this, which is all I know?Love yourself. Then forget it. Then, love the world.…Thanks for reading friends! This dharma talk was given during Monday Night Meditation. You can find out more below.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner Patrick Kennyo Dunn, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by. We have weekly meditation gatherings and monthly Saturday offerings as well.Current OfferingsSpiritual Counseling — IFS informed, mindful somatic therapyAstrology— I am starting to offer astrology readings. I have found astrology to be a helpful map for connecting to the more mythic unfolding of life. It can help us honor our gifts, navigate challenges, get perspective and connect with planetary allies. It can also offer guidance on the questions that arise in our lives and aid us in stepping more fully into our wholeness. I am currently offering the following types of readingsNatal Chart ReadingsAstro Counseling PackageTransit ReadingsGreat Work of Your Life ReadingAstrology Gift Card — give the gift of an astrology readingArt Shop — I sell my original paintings and printsMonday Night Meditation + DharmaEvery Monday 6P PT / 9P ETJoin me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, which gives us an opportunity to practice inquiry and embodying love as we discover our Awakened Nature together.This event is hosted by the Zen Community of Oregon. All are welcome to join. Drop in any time.Zoom Link for Monday NightSky + Rose: An Emergent Online Contemplative Community Braiding Spirit and SoulSunday Jan 510:30A PT - 12:30P PT / 1:30P ET - 3:30P ETWhat is it? An experiment in the impossible task of excluding nothing and loving everything. An alchemy of play, presence and wandering into the shadows, you could say.Sky & Rose is a practice container that will:* Center group parts work practices to explore the fluidity, span and dream of who we are - somebody, nobody, everybody. You will be invited to express yourself vocally and physically, engage your imagination and play outside habituation.* Do interpersonal and group meditation practices of seeing, being and awakening.* Directly explore emotional embodiment & shadow work* Include Beauty, Art & Wonderment as core practice elementsThrough rituals of imagination, meditation technologies and co-created fields of intentional play, we can slip out, for a time, of confining identities defined by our histories, culture and comfort. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Greetings Friends! In these last few weeks I have been reflecting a lot on the story of Matchig Labdron and the roots of a practice known as Chod, a practice that works directly with fear through generosity. I want to share some of these reflections about fear, generosity and the awakened feminine. I also want to share that Jogen and I are facilitating our next session of Sky+Rose on Sunday Dec. 1. Sky+Rose is an emergent practice community blending soul + spirit work. More information is at the bottom of this post.What Haunts You?What are you so afraid of? Ask this question and perhaps a lot comes up, given our political climate right now, there is, perhaps, a lot to fear.Yet, what is fear?Fear has an elusive quality. Because we don’t want to feel it— it quickly morphs into some other feeling, emotion or behavior. Fear's presence turns into internet scrolling, online shopping, a bag of chips, worry, etc.In this way other emotions layer on top of our fears. And fear remains hidden, we start to fear it.Facing FearIn dharma practice, we are invited to turn towards fear. Which often starts as turning towards our fear of fear.The dharma teachings remind us that all experience is ungraspable, interdependent, changing. When we actually try to stake out any experience, it starts to transform into something else. Our minds have trouble with this teaching. It is difficult to comprehend the instability of a single moment of experience. The radical empty-yet-apparent nature of feelings, sensations and emotions.When we give our attention to the direct experience of fear, fear is allowed to transform—our relationship to it changes.The Awakened FeminineThe 11th Century Tibetan Teacher and Yogini Matchig Labdron explores the relationship between fear and generosity in the practice of Chod. A practice that is rooted in the insight of the Prajna Paramita Sutras and expressed through the forms of a indigenous Tibetan healing ritual.Matchig was born with the Tibetan seed syllable AH, on her third eye—which is considered the mark of a dakini. As a young child she memorized the Prajna Paramita sutras, and was invited to recite them in gatherings throughout her village. At some point she met her teacher, who helped her awaken to the insight contained within the Prajna Paramita Sutras, the insight into emptiness and interconnection.The Prajna Paramita Sutras emerged during what is called the Second Turning of the Wheel of Dharma. A revolution within the Buddhist community that overturned monastic authority. This revolution is known as Mahayana Buddhism and with it came the understanding that all beings are inherently buddha—one did not need to become a monastic, nor did one’s gender determine one’s capacity for awakening.Prajna Paramita in her embodied form is the Mother of all Buddhas, Great Mother Spaciousness, Wisdom beyond Wisdom—she came to symbolize emptiness as pure potential energy—pregnant darkness—the wisdom that is beyond intellectual understanding.Around the time that Prajna Paramita emerged in Buddhism, the gnostic tradition was arising in Christianity, and with it, the image of the Divine Sophia—the feminine expression of God.The emergence of these feminine embodiments of the divine came with a set of teachings in both traditions that focused on the immanence of god/awakened nature. That right here where we stand, we are on sacred ground— this is the land of awakening. This very body, our very life— the body of buddha, the body of divine nature.These teachings also pointed to knowledge beyond the intellect. For gnosis or knowing itself need not be mediated by rational thought, a religious authority figure or dualistic mind play. Our awakened nature is immediate, here, all-inclusive and all-encompassing. We can know this for ourselves.The Places that Scare YouWhen Matchig was taking leave of her teacher she asked: How can I benefit all beings? Her teacher replied with a set of pith instructions or slogans, which became Matchig’s path and practice. They are:Confess all your hidden faults Approach that which you find repulsive Whoever you think you can not help, help them Anything you are attached to, let go of it Go to the places that scare you, like cemeteries Sentient beings are limitless, like the skyBe aware! Find the Buddha inside yourself!Here are a set of instructions for turning towards our fears, with curiosity—a generosity of heart.When fear arises our normal reaction is to push it away, to get small, hide, distract, isolate…What happens when we turn towards fear, when we invite fear from a place of mindfulness, clarity and compassion?The Prajna Paramita sutras remind us that fear is elusive, that if we look for it, we won’t be able to grab a hold of it, that it is empty of an independent nature.Often, we are afraid of fear. So we avoid doing things, going places, talking to people and letting go of unhelpful attachments. We really don’t want to feel the sensations of fear.Generosity and FearMatchig discovered the practice that became the roots of Chod, when she had an extraordinary experience while meditating during an empowerment ceremony. Suddenly she found herself in a tree, in deep meditation being harassed by a Naga protector of the lake under the tree where she sat. Fear arose in her, but instead of giving into the fear—she offered the Naga-spirit the only thing she had—her body. The Naga spirit was so impressed with her selfless generosity and dharma practice, that he transformed himself into her dharma protector.While this story sounds grandiose or mythic in its telling. There are some very ordinary and practical teachings contained within it. This is actually something we can practice in meditation in relation to our own fears. We can summon a small fear or allow fear to arise in meditation. When it arises, instead of pushing it away, making ourselves small, distracting or fighting. We can practice meeting it with generosity. Offering our presence and our body (ie feeling the sensations of fear in our body as it arises). When we do this—when we feel the fear directly.Something is allowed to shift.I find that there is something about this kind of generosity, this kind of giving that confronts, even indirectly, our core fears. For many of us fear rests in the body, as a fear of death & bodily harm, that gives us a pervasive feeling of not being safe or an existential anxiety. When we imagine giving at the level of our bodies, when we invite the feeling of fear from the place of generosity, when we meet fear with a willingness to feel and experience fear in our body—we open ourselves up to the insight of emptiness, all inclusive awareness, interdependence.Our bodies are not our own, all is borrowed, all is shared. Fear arises from separation. Generosity is a practice of connection.The one who gives, the one who receives, the gift itself—are all one, one complete life. To practice generosity we open to the gift of this life, fear and all. And in this gift, fear transforms into the energy of life itself. Our bodies do have the capacity to feel fear, and when we do this— fear no longer has power over us. We learn on an embodied level that we don’t need to be afraid of feeling fear.…Thanks for reading friends! This dharma talk was given during Monday Night Meditation. You can find out more below.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner Patrick Kennyo Dunn, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by. We have weekly meditation gatherings and monthly Saturday offerings as well.Current OfferingsMonday Night Meditation + DharmaEvery Monday 6P PT / 9P ETJoin me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, which gives us an opportunity to practice inquiry and embodying love as we discover our Awakened Nature together.This event is hosted by the Zen Community of Oregon. All are welcome to join. Drop in any time.Zoom Link for Monday NightSky + Rose: The Ritual of Strange FlowersSunday Dec 110:30A PT - 12:30P PT / 1:30P ET - 3:30P ETHow do we know that anything is only one thing? Strange flowers bloom within and without.  What is not a flower?  What is not strange when held in a steady gaze? Each of us are strange flowers. How familiar are our own beauties?  What of the self could be revisioned ?We will actuate our own blemished bodies as intimate beauty. We may take grotesque shapes and discover them differently.  We’ll look underneath and behind and move wierdly to enter new worlds. We will play in ways the authorities that haunt our minds may not give their seal of approval, releasing energy, shedding man and mind-made shackles.Sample ScheduleRitual of UnknowingSeated Meditation (bring a strange flower to meditate on)Somatic/Parts Work ExplorationsGroup Check-inClosingPlease rsvp and we will send the zoom link + additional information to prepare for the session.Spiritual Counseling — IFS informed, mindful somatic therapyAstrology— I am starting to offer astrology readings. I have found astrology to be a helpful map for connecting to the more mythic unfolding of life. It can help us honor our gifts, navigate challenges, get perspective and connect with planetary allies. It can also offer guidance on the questions that arise in our lives and aid us in stepping more fully into our wholeness. I am currently offering the following types of readingsNatal Chart ReadingsAstro Counseling PackageTransit ReadingsGreat Work of Your Life Reading This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

It’s beautiful to be taking refuge together in all the various places we find ourselves.Ah. Here we are. Survivors of the election. Spiritual warriors attempting to live a vow-fueled life. Hearts turned towards love larger then fear. Even if fear is rattling in your gut, or anger is raging strong in your body or numbness has you hiding out.Whatever you are feeling is welcome.Whatever you are feeling is wisdom.Its your body telling you something—That something might be: This isn’t ok. NO! I don’t feel safe. I am afraid. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I have the energy to fight. This matters. This is what i love. This is what i care about.Or something else. Listen. What is your body trying to say to you? This may change moment to moment.In the Zen Community of Oregon, we are currently studying a text called The Eight Realizations of a Great Being. A set of pith instructions given by the Buddha shortly before they died.This week we explored the Fifth RealizationIgnorance leads to birth and death. Bodhisattvas are always mindfulTo study and learn extensively, to increase their wisdomAnd perfect their eloquence, so they can teach and enlighten all beings,And impart great joy to all.Dogen Zenji calls it Always Maintaining Mindfulness and comments:Mindfulness helps you to guard the dharma, so you never lose it. If you practice this the robbers of fear and desire cannot enter you. Therefore you should always maintain mindfulness. It is like wearing armor going into a battlefield, so there is nothing to be afraid of.When we have mindfulness, or heartfulness—we know who we are, and where we stand. We are aligned with vow, the great vow—to awaken for the sake of all beings!Mindfulness has its popular dimensions in our culture. Its found its way into businesses, schools, the military—its featured in taglines like Mindful Car Washing, Mindful Jogging, Mindful Eating, Mindful Sleep Therapy. Its said to help workers stay focused, increase productivity, basically make everything better…Yet, mindfulness is also subversive. A mindfulness instructor, Zen practitioner and friend said to to me in a conversation once, mindfulness is shadow work. He has taught mindfulness in business settings, and when he said this, I felt the truth in his words. Mindfulness is empowering and it also brings us into direct relationship with the wisdom of our bodies, the feelings perhaps we have been trying to run from, the fixed beliefs that drive our life.Through mindfulness we aren’t lost in the wimbs or conditioning of our thinking / reactivity. We can live more authentically, we can ask questions, make space for our anger and feel the wisdom of our fears.Mindfulness is our best english translation of the word sati, which means more “to recollect” or “to remember.” What are we remembering? Our practice, the dharma, heart, we are reconnecting with what really matters.If you are feeling a lot right now, its your body saying yes, this matters, our interconnected life matters. The earth, immigrants in our country, trans + non-binary people, queer folks, women, people of color, the more than human world—matter.Love matters. Wisdom matters. Seeing through the forces of ignorance matter. Awakening from our collective delusion matters.Mindfulness also means being present with, allowing what’s here to be here—in the different dimensions of our being:My teacher Chozen Roshi would often teach the four foundations of mindfulness during morning meditation at the monastery. This teaching offers a ground up approach to experiencing this precious interconnected life. Here we start with our body.Body—bringing awareness to the felt sense of our bodies, part by part feeling our bodies from within the somatic experience of the body allows us to awaken to the wisdom of our embodied experience.Feelings—next we include feelings, allowing awareness to make space for the flow of life energy that we call emotion or feeling. To feel feelings without needed to make a story about them, without needing to name them. Just to feel the energy itself. This is our energy. This is our life.Thought—So often we just take our thoughts to be true, or we get in a fight with them. To bring mindfulness to the thought stream empowers us to see/hear what we are telling ourselves. It is possible to experience thought as pure sensation, another sense in the field of awareness. To do this, gives us freedom from the tyranny of our conditioned thoughts. Mind is freed up.Awareness itself—after opening to and including body, feelings and thought, next we open to awareness itself. Resting in pure awareness, senses open, one single unified life. This is our shared being, all is included, all is allowed.Thoughts and emotions often want to take us out of our experience, into story, worry, blaming others, searching for information—we can learn to follow them back home, to the liberated self.I have been reflecting on the teaching of the Five Wisdom Dakinis that comes from the Tibetan tradition, Lama Tsultrim Allione writes about them in her book Wisdom Rising.Dakini is one depiction of the awakened feminine, known also as a “sky-dancer” or “sky-goer”, the dakini principle is here to wake us up from our habits of ego-identification. Dakinis are often portrayed in motion, dancing on delusion and decorated in bone ornaments. The five wisdom dakinis are portrayed as fierce and passionate beings who transmute/use the energy of the emotions as the liberated energy of awakening. I feel like this time is inviting us to feel and use the energy of the emotions to meet the challenges we face as a country and a global community. We need the awakened feminine with her fierce hope and embodied wisdom. The five wisdom dakinis are connected to colors, the great elements and a buddha family. Earth—Yellow — Ratna — transmutes the desire for sensual pleasure and security into the Wisdom of Sameness, Abundance and GenerosityWater—Blue — Vajra — transmutes anger into Mirror Like Wisdom and ClarityFire—Red — Padma — transmutes passionate desire for connection and sexual energy into Discerning Wisdom and CompassionSpace—White — Buddha — transmutes fear/ignorance into All Inclusive WisdomAir—Green — Karma — transmutes jealousy/comparison/insecurity into All Accomplishing Wisdom or Great ActivityThe stories and koans of the women ancestors show us how real women have embodied these energies in their life of practice-realization. Stories help us see beyond ourselves and our limiting beliefs and also remind us that others have faced challenges and difficulties on the path. They also help us connect to practitioners beyond our current teachers or community. Here are some stories I’d like to share:The Old Woman burns down the Hermitage An old woman built a hermitage for a monk and supported him for twenty years. One day, to test the extent of the monk’s enlightenment and understanding, she sent a young, beautiful, girl to the hut with orders to embrace him. When the girl embraced the monk and asked, “How is this?” He replied stiffly, “A withered tree among frozen rocks; not a trace of warmth for three winters.” Hearing of the monk’s response, the old woman grabbed a stick, went to the hermitage, beat him and chased him out of the hut. She then put the hermitage to the torch and burned it to the ground.Ryonen Scars her FaceLingzhao’s I’m helpingSatsujo WeepsTo close, I offer some questions for reflection as we land in this moment and also look to the future.What is this moment awakening in me? (Stay with yourself, listen to your body, feelings, thoughts, vow—we gather wisdom by listening to our whole being, and then use discernment, what is coming from conditioning and reactivity, and what is wise—if you don’t know, keep listening)How do I want to show up for myself / my community?What supports / teachings / practices might I need to do this?What nourishes me?Thanks for reading friends! This dharma talk was given during Monday Night Meditation. You can find out more below.I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner Patrick Kennyo Dunn, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by. We have weekly meditation gatherings and monthly Saturday offerings as well.Current OfferingsSpiritual Counseling — IFS informed, mindful somatic therapyAstrology— I am starting to offer astrology readings. I have found astrology to be a helpful map for connecting to the more mythic unfolding of life. It can help us honor our gifts, navigate challenges, get perspective and connect with planetary allies. It can also offer guidance on the questions that arise in our lives and aid us in stepping more fully into our wholeness. I am currently offering the following types of readingsNatal Chart ReadingsAstro Counseling PackageTransit ReadingsGreat Work of Your Life ReadingMonday Night Meditation + DharmaEvery Monday 6P PT / 9P ETJoin me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, which gives us an opportunity to practice inquiry and embodying love as we discover our Awakened Nature together.This event is hosted by the Zen Community of Oregon. All are welcome to join. Drop in any time.Zoom Link for Monday NightSky + Rose: The Ritual of Strange FlowersSunday Dec 1 10:30A PT - 12:30P PT / 1:30P ET - 3:30P ETHow do we know that anything is only one thing? Strange flowers bloom within and without.  What is not a flower?  What is not strange when held in a steady gaze? Each of us are strange flowers. How familiar are our own beauties?  What of the self could be revisioned ?We will actuate our own blemished bodies as intimate beauty. We may take grotesque shapes and discover them differently.  We’ll look underneath and behind and move wierdly to enter new worlds. We will play in ways the authorities that haunt our minds may not give their seal of approval, releasing energy, shedding man and mind-made shackles.Sample ScheduleRitual of UnknowingSeated Meditation (bring a strange flower to meditate on)Somatic/Parts Work ExplorationsGroup Check-inClosingPlease rsvp and we will send the zoom link + additional information to prepare for the session. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

A couple weeks ago I heard a sound near our back screendoor, as if an animal were wrestling with a large bag of cat food. I assumed my cat Sasha was trying to break into her bag of treats, and noted the sound but didn’t respond right away.A few minutes later, the sound long faded, I went to check on Sasha to see how far she got with trying to claw her way into her treat bag. As I approached the backdoor I did not find Sasha, nor a clawed open bag of treats. Our screen door was open to the size of Sasha, outside her large bag of cat food lay open on the porch stairs. As I stood, stunned at the sight of a catless night—Sasha whipped around the backyard chasing something that remained in the shadows, her tail puffed out to the size of a racoon’s tail.I have been thinking about wanting. Hunger. The pull of a certain kind of desire to grasp for, reach out for…something else. This energy often creeps up the stairs of my body from somewhere in the dark and before I even realize it my hand is holding my phone, or reading news headlines, or I’m fixing myself a snack or another cup of coffee.This time of year wanting seems heightened.Something about the seasons turning deeper into autumn. Trees shedding leaves as the sun looms lower in the fading day-lit sky.The animal in us is preparing to hibernate. The hungry heart is trying to find nourishment. The pull to nourish, to find safety— in the midst of an uncertain world heightened by a polarizing election, on-going war and climate instability—is completely natural. Our bodies and nervous systems seek balance.Yet what is nourishing? What is safety when the ground appears to be constantly moving? Who is the one whose hand slips up from the shadows, then vanishes back into hiding, as spirals of shame circle?You just wasted an hour scrolling. I can’t believe you ate that. Wow, you pressed snooze again?  You’re worthless. Unloveable. Unfit for human consumption. The shame says…When I lived at Great Vow Zen Monastery we had a practice of singing to the hungry heart. Calling to this part of us, this part of others and our world. And instead of shunning it or throwing shade on it or blaming and shaming it—we would invite a spirit of welcome, acceptance, love and understanding.The chant is called the Kanromon and was written together with Krishna Das and Bernie Glassman. Here are the words, if you would like to sing it too.Calling all you hungry hearts. Everywhere through endless time. You who wander, you who thirst.I offer you this bodhi mind. Calling all you hungry spirits. All the lost and the left behind. Calling all you hungry hearts. Everywhere through endless time. Gather round and share this meal.Your joy and your sorrow, I make it mine.It is part of a ceremony for the hungry heart, called the gate of sweet nectar. A version of this ceremony is part of the daily liturgy at Soto Zen Monasteries in Japan.It is one of the songs from our liturgy that I brought into my practice outside of the monastery walls. I sing it on walks through town, sometimes before I eat a meal, to my cat and before my altar with a stick of incense as my heart opens to the size of the world. It is a song of offering. It is a song of deep love. It's a song that lets me be lost—a song that speaks to those in the shadows. It has the power to save a ghost. To make the lonely, smile. It empowers us to hug our demons, and face the unpredictability of life in human flesh.This week I had the opportunity to facilitate and participate in three practice communities where we gathered together to welcome the hungry heart. The gatherings were simple. We sat in loving awareness and invited our hungry hearts to the table of our lives. And, through our collective attention, love and understanding the hungry part was given space to tell + show what it wants and needs, and then experience a deeper form of nourishment. The nourishment of compassionate attention and collective witnessing is powerful. When parts of us are hidden in shame, they often feel like they are the only ones who feel this way. Or that they are fundamentally wrong, or unloveable, or unworthy.To integrate the hungry heart into our lives, to invite them into the light of awareness— is healing. It's like reclaiming a piece of our nature. For in that invitation, transformation starts to happen, true nourishment becomes possible.As we head into election week, I feel it's important to remember my vows to myself and this world.I vow to create sacred spaces in this violent and beautiful world where we:* Center healing* Remember our true nature* Challenge our assumptions* Turn towards the shadow* And live as if love were the pointWhat are your vows? How do you intend to show up in this unpredictable, precarious, ever-changing experience we call human life, or the world, or america?Current OfferingsSpiritual Counseling — I practice at the confluence of spirituality and psychology, integrating mind, body and spirit. Spiritual Counseling can help you:* Companion Grief + Loss* Clarify Life Purpose* Heal Relational Conflict + Inner Conflict* Work with Shadow Material* Heal your relationship with Eating, Food or Body Image* Spiritual Emergence* Integrate Psychedelic or Mystical Experiences* Move Through Creative Blocks, Career Impasses and BurnoutIn addition to my Zen training, I am trained in Buddhist Psychology, Internal Family Systems (IFS), Dream Work, Hakomi (Somatic Therapy), Process Art and Mindful Eating. My approach also has a deep Jungian influence.Astrology— I am starting to offer astrology readings. I have found astrology to be a helpful map for connecting to the more mythic unfolding of life. It can help us honor our gifts, navigate challenges, get perspective and connect with planetary allies. It can also offer guidance on the questions that arise in our lives and aid us in stepping more fully into our wholeness. I am currently offering the following types of readingsNatal Chart ReadingsAstro Counseling PackageTransit ReadingsGreat Work of Your Life ReadingMonday Night Meditation + DharmaEvery Monday 6P PT / 9P ETJoin me on zoom for 40 minutes of meditation and a dharma talk. We are currently exploring a text called The Eight Realizations of Great Beings, which gives us an opportunity to practice inquiry and embodying love as we discover our Awakened Nature together.This event is hosted by the Zen Community of Oregon. All are welcome to join. Drop in any time.Zoom Link for Monday NightSky + RoseWhat is it? An experiment in the impossible task of excluding nothing and loving everything. An alchemy of play, presence and wandering into the shadows, you could say.Sky & Rose is a practice container that will:* Center group parts work practices to explore the fluidity, span and dream of who we are - somebody, nobody, everybody. You will be invited to express yourself vocally and physically, engage your imagination and play outside habituation.* Do interpersonal and group meditation practices of seeing, being and awakening.* Directly explore emotional embodiment & shadow work* Include Beauty, Art & Wonderment as core practice elements Through rituals of imagination, meditation technologies and co-created fields of intentional play, we can slip out, for a time, of confining identities defined by our histories, culture and comfort.Delivered by these practices, we can begin to inhabit perspectives and modes of being that stretch our sense of the possible and refresh our sense of the everyday. You might find yourself wearing Luminosities face or inhabiting Laughter’s chest. Together we might try out Venus’s view of the very life we live or we might make space to feel Chaos's dance and shake off some rigidity.All of these are just examples of where our wondering and feeling into places of vitality and expansion may take us.We will rebel against the quotidian and respect ourselves too much to only have crumbs of the sacred!It was also be a time to work together with the challenges to living heart forward with sanity and presence within this hyper-fractured funhouse/madhouse world.Sky and Rose is a place for Jogen and i to invite you into practices and explorations of 'soul work' that are not part of the Buddhist tradition but that have nonetheless been sources of growth and joy for us. Our influences in this include Paratheatre, IFS and Voice Dialogue, Hakomi, Process Work, Butoh, Jungian dream work and more.We initiate Sky & Rose as an experiment in embracing Spirit and Soul simultaneously, together imagining and practicing interpersonal liberation, playfulness and spaciousness in this time of deep adaptation.Meets monthly on Sundays from 10:30A PT - 12:30P PT / 1:30P ET - 3:30P ETNext Session is on Dec 1I’m Amy Kisei. I am a Zen Buddhist Teacher, Spiritual Counselor, budding Astrologer and Artist. I currently live in Columbus, Ohio with my partner Patrick Kennyo Dunn, we facilitate an in-person meditation gathering every Wednesday from 7P - 8:30P at ILLIO in Clintonville through Mud Lotus Sangha. If you happen to be in Columbus, feel free to stop by. We have weekly meditation gatherings and monthly Saturday offerings as well. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit amykisei.substack.com/subscribe

Dive into the poignant themes of impermanence through a beautiful poem about a falling leaf. The discussion encourages reflection on the nature of change and how it shapes our lives. Insights from Zen teachings help listeners confront their fears around transformation. Embracing vulnerability and gratitude becomes essential, as acceptance of uncertainty leads to deeper understanding. With a focus on life's fleeting moments, the conversation reveals how each experience contributes to our journey between life and death.