Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - How to understand what is really happening when a young child becomes intensely frustrated or self critical. - Why perfectionistic behaviors in early childhood are often developmentally normal and when they may begin to impact confidence or emotional well being. - What to do in the moment when your child is dysregulated and why reassurance, praise, or growth mindset language often does not land when emotions are running high. - How staying curious about your child's negative self talk can actually support resilience and self awareness over time. - Ways to protect your child's inner voice and self esteem without trying to rush her out of uncomfortable feelings. If your child gets stuck in frustration, takes mistakes personally, or is hard on themself, this episode will help you learn how to support their long term emotional growth. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Self-compassion, critical thinking, and connection: What the research reveals about raising capable kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Secure attachment and growth mindset: The science behind raising well-adjusted kids with Melinda Wenner Moyer 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Helping sensitive kids build self-esteem and get out of a cycle of self-criticism with Dr. Blaise Aguirre 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode: Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) with Dr. Eli Lebowitz WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Somatic practitioner and founder of Circle of Nurture, Lisa Rombach, joins me for a deeply grounding conversation about motherhood, the nervous system, and why mothers need support just as much as the children they care for. Together, we explore: - What somatic work actually is, in everyday language, and why it's not as abstract as it may sound. - How motherhood changes our relationship with our bodies and sense of self. - Why self-care often falls short and what truly helps mothers feel replenished. - The role of community, presence, and being witnessed in reducing burnout. - How being held and supported as a mother quietly shapes how our children feel safe and secure. This episode will help mothers feel less alone, more understood, and more grounded in their own experience. You don't need to fix yourself or try harder, sometimes the most powerful shift comes from being supported and held. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Circle of Nurture 🔗 Register for Lisa's live master class: Mother Glue 🔗 Join the next online Mother's Circle FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@circleofnurture 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs. 🔗 Feldenkrais Method 🔗 Somatic Experiencing (SE™) from Dr. Peter A. Levine 🔗 Kimberly Ann Johnson 🔗 Mother Circle: Mothering through adoption 🔗 Lucy Rowett 🔗 The Mother Circle CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my episode on parental burnout: What it is, why it happens, and how to overcome it 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how tuning into your child's natural rhythms can completely transform the way you understand their emotions and reactions with somatic therapist Alé Duarte 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of energy healing with Stephanie Filardi 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about using Internal Family Systems to emotionally support mothers with Rebecca Geshuri and Jessica Sorci

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - Whether lying is a normal part of child development or a sign of a deeper issue. - What kids are actually trying to solve when they lie and how understanding that can change the way we respond as parents. - How lying can function as a stress response, similar to fight, flight, or freeze, especially for kids with still-developing executive functioning skills. - Why pushing for confessions, lectures, or punishments often backfires, leading to more power struggles and less honesty — and what to say in the moment instead. - How to teach honesty over time without making your child feel unsafe bringing you the big stuff later on. If your child has started lying and you find yourself wondering whether this is "normal," whether you should be worried, or how to handle it without condoning the behavior, this episode will help you respond with more calm, clarity, and confidence. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🗞️ Fight, Flight, Freeze… or Fib? ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether encouraging imagination will lead to lying in the future 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting your child to cooperate without using threats 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why parenting 6-12 year olds is more important now than ever with Dr. Sheryl Ziegler WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Independent play expert Lizzie Assa is back on Securely Attached to talk about how play is one of the most powerful ways children can build confidence, creativity, frustration tolerance, and resilience (while parents get a little breathing room back too.) Together we explore: - What independent play actually looks like for kids of all ages and what is realistic at each stage. - Why independent play does not just happen, and how parents can teach it without guilt or power struggles. - How to create simple "play pockets" in your home that make independent play more likely. - Signs your child may have too many toys and why toy overload can shut play down. - Specific phrases, routines, and timing cues that make independent play more successful. - How to decode what your child's play reveals about their emotional experience and where they might need extra support. - How independent play might look different for only children versus those playing with siblings. This episode is designed to leave you with specific ideas you can put into practice immediately, from how to set up play to what to say when you step back, so independent play becomes something that actually works in your day-to-day life. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 The Workspace for Children 🔗 Substack - The Workplace for Children 📚 But I'm Bored!: Discover the Power of Independent Play to Raise Confident, Resilient Kids 🎧 Listen to Lizzie's first interview on the Securely Attached podcast FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@theworkspaceforchildren 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Want games specifically designed for fostering emotion regulation? Go to drsarahbren.com/games to get my free guide packed with games you can play with kids of all ages! CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best toys to encourage independent play 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether fun is the antidote to burnout with Mike Rucker 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering if there is a wrong way to encourage independent play 🎧Listen to podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - Why some children are more sensitive to teasing, how temperament plays a role, and why those kids are often more likely to be targeted by peers. - How all three hosts, as therapists and parents of sensitive boys, handle teasing and social stress with their own children, including what has helped and what we had to learn the hard way. - What kids mean when they talk about "rage baiting," how this behavior shows up in friendships, and why it is especially dysregulating for sensitive children. - Whether a "toughen up" approach ever helps sensitive kids, and what Dr. Sarah learned when her husband's advice to their son worked better than her own. - How children can learn coping skills for teasing, including when to walk away, when it might be okay to engage, and how to tell the difference. If your child takes teasing to heart and you worry about how to help without minimizing their feelings, this episode will help you support your sensitive child with more confidence, clarity, and connection. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about raising sensitive, "spicy," or highly emotional children 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about navigating peer rejection in early adolescence WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Nir Eyal, author of the bestselling books "Indistractable" and "Hooked," joins to discuss the psychology behind attention and distraction. He reveals that internal triggers, not just technology, are the main sources of our distractions. Nir shares his four-step framework for becoming indistractable and emphasizes the importance of modeling good tech habits for children. He also introduces practical strategies like time-boxing and schedule syncing to enhance focus and family connection, ensuring our kids grow up with strong self-regulation skills.

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg, Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - Why toddlers often get intensely attached to a single outfit and why this kind of rigidity is usually a totally normal part of development. - How to understand the difference between a sensory preference, a sensory processing challenge, and everyday toddler stubbornness. - What "system load" is and why kids become more rigid when they are navigating stress, transitions, or big developmental leaps. - How to reduce morning battles by planning ahead, building flexibility skills, and getting curious about what is really driving your child's resistance. - What to do on the days when nothing works, including how to ride out meltdowns with less guilt and more grounded presence. If you are struggling with daily clothing standoffs or wondering whether your child's rigidity means something is wrong, this episode will help you make sense of what is developmentally typical, when to consider sensory support, and how to navigate tough moments with more confidence and clarity. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 💥 Tired of constant battles with your child? Watch my ✨FREE✨ workshop, Overcoming Power Struggles, where I'll teach you the exact strategies I use in my clinical practice to help parents break free from the cycle of yelling, threats, and negotiations—and instead foster cooperation, connection, and calm. Just visit drsarahbren.com/powerstruggles to get instant access to this workshop. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about understanding your toddler with Devon Kuntzman 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode on how to mindfully parent a threenager 🎧 Listen to my podcast on understanding your child's sensory processing experiences with The OT Butterfly Laura Petix 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode on strengthening your child's distress tolerance WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Saumya Dave, psychiatrist, mental health advocate, and author of the new novel The Guilt Pill, joins me this week for a conversation about the emotional load so many mothers carry that can shape our choices, our identity, and even how we see ourselves as parents. Together we explore: - The surprising truth that guilt isn't always bad and how to recognize when it's actually trying to tell you something important. - How cultural expectations and "good girl" conditioning quietly shape the way mothers judge themselves, often without realizing it. - What happens when we try to shut off difficult emotions, and why numbing guilt can create more challenges than it solves. - Why Dr. Saumya chose fiction to explore the emotional undercurrents of motherhood and how storytelling reveals truths we rarely say out loud. - What kids learn from the way we relate to guilt and how parents can model a healthier, more grounded approach. - Small shifts that can loosen guilt's grip and help you reconnect with the messy, joyful moments right in front of you. If you've ever felt weighed down by the pressure to be a "perfect" parent, struggled with the inner critic that tells you you're not doing enough, or simply want a deeper understanding of where mom guilt comes from and how to soften its impact, this episode will give you clarity, validation, and tools to support your emotional wellbeing. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Saumya Dave 📚 The Guilt Pill: A Psychological Thriller of Motherhood and Ambition FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@saumyajdave 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Feeling weighed down by mom-guilt, identity shifts, or the mental load of parenting? Upshur Bren Psychology Group specializes in maternal mental health and offers therapy and coaching to help you feel more grounded and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about support options or schedule a free consultation call so we can share recommendations for a personalized plan to meet your unique needs. 📚 To Have and to Hold: Motherhood, Marriage, and the Modern Dilemma CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode fighting against the pressure to be perfect with Gayane Aramyan 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether one mom's guilt over being a working mom is hurting her parenting 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how mentally strong people handle life's up's and downs with Amy Morin

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... - Why the fear that no one will come to your child's birthday party feels so intense for parents and why that reaction is rooted in real neuroscience. - Ways to ground yourself so you can support your child with clarity instead of panic. - Strategies for planning a birthday celebration that feels safe, joyful, and truly right for your child, whether that means a small gathering, a special outing, or something completely different. - How to partner with teachers, other parents, and your community to help your child form more meaningful connections. - What to do if disappointment still happens and how to validate your child's feelings without getting stuck in them. If you are worried about your child feeling left out, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence so you can show up with grounded support and help your child feel understood and connected. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🎧 Why birthdays are so hard for your kid and what parents can do about it 🎧 Listen to my podcast interview with Dr. Yael Schonbrun 👉🏻Why the brain registers the pain of social rejection the same way as physical pain CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle peer rejection in toddlerhood 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about peer rejection in early adolescence 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about fostering secure attachment in peer relationships with Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Clinical psychologist, educational leader, and author of Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation, Dr. Doug Bolton, joins me this week to unpack the rising levels of anxiety, burnout, and overwhelm we're seeing in kids today. Together we explore: - How changes in education starting in the 90s have intensified academic pressure for kids of all ages. - Why school avoidance, perfectionism, and burnout are rising, even among high-achieving students. - The neuroscience behind why rigor, overscheduling, and constant output make it harder for kids to access curiosity, regulation, and real learning. - How expectations have shifted, and why many kids simply aren't developmentally ready for what schools now demand. - Realistic, achievable ways to build rest, connection, and resilience into daily family life. - Small shifts parents can make at home to buffer their child's stress, protect their mental health, and restore balance. If your child is melting down after school, anxious about grades, overwhelmed by homework, or feeling weighed down by pressure to perform, this episode will help you understand what's really going on beneath the surface and give you practical tools to support their wellbeing. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Dr. Doug Bolton 📚Untethered: Creating Connected Families, Schools, and Communities to Raise a Resilient Generation FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@douglasabolton 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 If your child is feeling overwhelmed by school demands, struggling with executive functioning, or showing signs of anxiety or burnout, you don't have to navigate this alone. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more about our therapy and coaching services designed to help kids and families move through these challenges with clarity and support. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the dangers of an achievement centric approach with Jennifer Breheny Wallace 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping your child feel less academic pressure 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle school refusal 🎧 Listen to podcast episode about the myths of learning styles with Dr. Dan Willingham 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the neuroscience of why boys and girls need different things with Michael Gurian