Securely Attached

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... - Whether it's okay to have different rules for different kids under the same roof in a blended family. - How developmental differences and co-parenting agreements can shape household expectations. - What to do when step-siblings notice (and protest) differences in discipline. - How to align parenting styles in a blended family without creating resentment. - Why transparency and age-appropriate conversations can actually strengthen family trust. - How to approach your spouse when you feel protective, defensive, or out of sync. If you're navigating parenting post-divorce in a blended family with different parenting plans and complex co-parenting relationships, struggling with fairness between step-siblings, or feeling unsure how to handle different rules in the same house, this episode offers clarity, nuance, and practical next steps. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Navigating separation or divorce? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers specialized support at every stage of the process, including therapy and coaching, parenting and co-parenting support, family therapy, and weekly divorce groups for women and children. Whether you're in the middle of a split or adjusting to a new family structure, our team is here to help you and your children feel steady and supported. Visit upshurbren.com to learn more or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the right support for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the best way to approach introducing your kids to your new significant other after a divorce 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode answering a mom who wondered if there was something she can do to strengthen her child's relationship with her ex 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about getting on the same page with your partner in parenthood WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Imran Ahmed, founder and CEO of the Center for Countering Digital Hate, joins me to talk about how social media platforms, algorithms, and AI systems are designed and what that means for our children's mental health and safety. Together we explore: How social media algorithms are built to maximize attention, and why emotionally extreme content is often amplified. What research reveals about how quickly self-harm and eating disorder content can be served to young users. How AI platforms can respond dangerously to vulnerable teens when guardrails are not properly in place. Why this is not just a "screen time" issue, but a systemic design and accountability issue. The difference between pulling the "emergency brake" and creating meaningful long-term change. What parents can realistically do at home to build digital resilience, foster trust, and partner with their children in navigating online spaces. This episode isn't meant to create more fear, but to offer greater clarity. My hope is that parents walk away feeling informed, empowered, and better equipped to both advocate for safer systems and strengthen the relationship that ultimately protects kids most: the one they have with you. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Center for Countering Digital Hate FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱IG: @counterhate FB: Center for Countering Digital Hate Youtube: @CCDHate 📱IG: @drsarahbren Youtube: Securely Attached ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 💻 Protecting Kids Online - Download the guide for parents 🔗 Deadly by Design: TikTok pushes harmful content promoting eating disorders and self-harm into young users' feeds 🔗 Fake Friend: How ChatGPT betrays vulnerable teens by encouraging dangerous behavior 🔗 Resist and unsubscribe - Scott Galloway 👉 Parenting in the age of AI, algorithms, and constant connectivity can feel like a lot. If you're feeling unsure, reactive, or overwhelmed, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and parent coaching to help you feel grounded, clear, and confident as you support your child and manage your own stress. Schedule a free 30-minute consultation or go to upshurbren.com to learn more and find the right support for your family. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about secure attachment vs. social media with Dr. Miriam Steele 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the do's and don'ts for introducing screens to your toddler 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about teaching kids healthy tech habits free of guilt or power struggles with Ash Brandin 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the hidden dangers of EdTech with Andy Liddell 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about rewiring the way our kids interact with screens with Alé Duarte

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Rebecca Hershberg and I talk about... First things first, why are schools still sending out candy grams in this current climate with a loneliness epidemic on the rise? Cliques and posses that form in middle school are often rife with envy, jealousy, gossip, and temptation - how to help our kids navigate this. What advice to give your child when they are left out in a friend group. How to help a child who tends to avoid conflict in their interpersonal relationships build a greater tolerance for joining in and addressing things directly. "There is a difference between a kid who says 'I am going to let this go' vs. 'I am going to hold this in.'" Understanding "social currency" and how that impacts children, especially as they move into the stage of development where their attention begins to move away from their parents and much more heavily toward their peers. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about talking with your teen with Elizabeth Bennett 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about respond to your child who you think is bullying other kids 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about social media's impact on your child's attachment security with Dr. Miriam Steele WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. Nancy O'Hara, pediatrician and leading expert in PANS and PANDAS, joins me to unpack why some children experience sudden, dramatic changes in behavior, anxiety, OCD, tics, sleep, or emotional regulation following illness. For many families, these symptoms appear almost overnight and are often misdiagnosed as "just anxiety," behavioral issues, or psychiatric disorders, leaving parents confused, dismissed, and unsure how to help their child. Together we explore: What PANS and PANDAS are, and how infections like strep, viruses, or tick-borne illness can trigger sudden neuropsychiatric symptoms in children. What to assess to help you determine if your child has a generalized anxiety disorder or if it may be PANS/PANDAS that is the root cause of their symptoms. Why PANS/PANDAS is often missed or misunderstood in both medical and mental health settings. The three-pronged approach to treatment: Addressing the trigger, the immune system, and the child's emotional and behavioral symptoms. How therapy, both for parents and children, can support recovery, even when symptoms have a medical origin. Understanding that there is real hope for healing and that it's never too late to identify and address PANS or PANDAS. This episode is designed to help parents and clinicians feel more informed, less alone, and more confident in recognizing when a child's behavior may be signaling something deeper. PANS and PANDAS are real, treatable conditions that deserve compassionate, comprehensive care. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Dr. Nancy O'Hara 📚Demystifying PANS/PANDAS: A Functional Medicine Desktop Reference on Basal Ganglia Encephalitis 🎧 Demystifying PANS/PANDAS Podcast FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA: 📱IG: @nhoharamd FB: Nancy O'Hara MD, MPH, FAAP 📱IG: @drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Looking for support for a child struggling with anxiety or OCD? If your child is struggling with anxiety or OCD, Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers SPACE-based parent support through both a virtual group and individualized care. Go to upshurbren.com/space to learn more or book a free 30-minute consultation with our care team, who will listen carefully and help you determine the best support for your family. 🔗 Dr. O'Hara's mentor, Sidney M. Baker, MD 🔗 Susan Swedo, MD, who created the acronym and coined the terms of PANS and PANDAS 📚 Super Sam and the Battle Against PANS/PANDAS by Dr. Lindsey Wells 🔗 Practitioner directories and community support: Aspire and Look Foundation 🔗 For practitioners: PANDAS Physicians Network 🔗 A helpful resource you can bring to your pediatrician: The Journal of the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry - February 2017 📚 The Comprehensive Physicians' Guide to the Management of PANS and PANDAS: An Evidence-Based Approach to Diagnosis, Testing, and Effective Treatment by Dr. Scott Antoine 🔗 Autism and PANS PANDAS 🔗 The Medical Academy of Pediatrics and Special Needs 🔗 Ilads 🔗 Psychiatry Redefined CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how mold, Lyme, pesticides, and other toxins may be impacting your child's physical and mental health with integrative pediatrician Dr. Pejman Katiraei 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to handle potty regressions in your older child? 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) can be an effective treatment for childhood anxiety and OCD 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how to help autistic kids build joy, confidence, and connection with Dr. Peter Vermeulen

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur, and I talk about... The subtle but important difference between encouraging empathy and unintentionally parentifying a child. What reflective functioning is and why helping your child develop this skill may be one of the most important things you can do as a parent. What helps empathy develop naturally in children without pressure or responsibility. Ways to navigate mismatched messages from extended family while staying grounded in your own parenting values. What parents can do to foster healthy sibling dynamics. If you have ever worried about asking too much of your older child, felt activated by comments about siblings taking care of each other, or wondered how to support healthy sibling relationships without repeating old patterns, this episode offers clarity, nuance, and a calmer way forward. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why your kids fight and how to foster closeness with Dr. Jonathan Caspi 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about sibling rivalry and jealousy 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about breaking the cycle of insecure attachment with Dr. Miriam Steele WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or

Eli Weinstein, couples therapist and author of the upcoming book From I Do to We Do: Navigating Marriage in Parenting Years, joins me to talk about what really happens to a relationship after kids. Together we explore: - Why parenthood doesn't just add stress, it reactivates attachment patterns and old wounds in both partners. - What's really happening when you keep having the same fight on repeat, and how to begin spotting the deeper need beneath it. - How mental load, feeling unseen, and constant "downloading" logistics quietly erode connection and build resentment. - The difference between "we made up" and actually repairing what keeps breaking. - How couples get stuck in "gridlock arguments" and what helps uncover what's really driving the conflict. - The role overstimulation and nervous system overload play in reactivity at home. - Practical ways couples can reset and regrow in this new season, without waiting for more time, sleep, or perfect circumstances This episode is designed to help you feel less alone in the mess of marriage after kids, and more confident about what actually helps couples stay connected, communicate better, and find their way back to each other. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗Eli Weinstein 📚From I Do to We Do: Navigating Marriage in the Parenting Years 🎧The Dude Therapist Podcast 🎧 Listen to Eli's last Securely Attached episode about busting parenting gender stereotypes with Eli Weinstein FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@eliweinstein_lcsw 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services for individuals, couples, parents and kids and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how secure attachment influences children's ability to make sense of their experiences and cope in the face of adversity with Dr. Alan Sroufe 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about codependency, insecure attachment, and relationship patterns with Alana Carvalho 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about whether your child can be securely attached to you if you are insecurely attached in your adult relationships

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - Why so many parents start questioning their instincts around holding and comforting as their baby becomes a toddler. - How to tell when your child truly needs comfort versus when they may be ready for a small, supportive stretch. - What increased clinginess may be communicating and how decoding the root cause can guide what to do next. - Why soothing and physical closeness do not undermine independence and often play a key role in helping it develop. - How to move away from rigid parenting rules and make moment-to-moment decisions rooted in attunement and nervous system cues. - What it looks like to honor your own limits without making your child feel unsafe, rejected, or "too much." If you have ever wondered whether you are helping or hurting your child by picking them up, holding them, or setting boundaries around your availability, this episode will help you navigate those moments with more confidence. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 🔗 Donald Winicott 👉 Want extra support in your parenting journey? Upshur Bren Psychology Group offers therapy and coaching to give parents the tools to feel more grounded and confident as they navigate parenthood and learn how to most effectively support their child. Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about confidently parenting your toddler with Transforming Toddlerhood's Devon Kuntzman 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about toddler sleep with Eileen Henry 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about Helping your child feel seen, understood, and validated with the co-authors of the Terrific Toddlers series WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Rebecca Geshuri, therapist and co-author of the new book When Good Moms Feel Bad joins me to talk about why so many "good moms" still feel overwhelmed, reactive, or stuck in cycles of guilt, anger, and self-criticism. Together we explore: - Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS) Rebecca breaks down what "parts work" is and how understanding your inner parts can reduce reactivity and shame. - How polarization between "what my child needs" and "what I need" fuels burnout and emotional overwhelm. - Why parenting feels hardest when younger, protective parts take over. - What the "inner mom" is and how learning to access this part of yourself builds calm, confidence, and connection. - A simple framework to slow down in triggering moments and respond with more compassion. - How self-compassion and nervous system awareness support secure attachment — for both you and your child. If you've been feeling overwhelmed and burnt out in parenthood, this episode offers validation, language for what you're experiencing, and practical tools to help you feel more grounded, regulated, and connected. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 🔗 Rebecca Geshuri 🔗 Second Street Collective 📚 When Good Moms Feel Bad: An Empowering Guide for Transforming Guilt, Anxiety, and Anger into Compassion, Confidence, and Connectedness 🎧 Listen to Rebecca's first Securely Attached interview about her approach combining Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy with maternal mental health LEARN MORE ABOUT ME: 🔗 drsarahbren.com 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 🔗 Want to learn more about therapy and coaching resources at Upshur Bren Psychology Group? Visit upshurbren.com to explore our services and schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to find the support that's right for your family. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about why specialized mental healthcare providers matter with Rebecca Geshuri and Paige Bellenbaum 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode to help you learn to lighten the load in pregnancy and parenthood with Dr. Sterling 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of mom-rage Diana Winston 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode exploration of healing trauma through presence, connection, and self-awareness with Dr. Jacob Ham 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about the science of energy healing with Stephanie Filardi

Beyond the Sessions is answering YOUR parenting questions! In this episode, Dr. Emily Upshur and I talk about... - What body doubling actually is and why your child may focus better simply because someone is nearby. - Why getting started on tasks (homework, getting dressed, chores) is often harder than the task itself for kids with ADHD. - How to be intentional about helping reduce procrastination, distraction, and emotional overwhelm for your child. - How to use body doubling in ways that build independence over time, instead of creating power struggles or burnout. - Real-life, low-effort examples of body doubling that don't require special systems, tutors, or more on your plate. If your child struggles to get started, loses focus easily, or can only seem to work when someone is sitting with them, this episode offers a strategy to support them in a way that feels sustainable and actually works. REFERENCES AND RELATED RESOURCES: 👉🏻 Interested in learning more about Upshur Bren Psychology Group's Parenting Your Child with ADHD 8-week virtual workshop series to empower parents of children, adolescents, and young adults with ADHD? Go to upshurbren.com/group-adhd or schedule a free 30-minute consultation call to learn more. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about with real-life strategies for parenting a child with ADHD with Dr. Eliza Barach 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how can I get my child with ADHD go from one activity to the next without a fight? 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can prepare for an IEP or 504 meeting after my child receives an ADHD diagnosis 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about how you can help your child utilize school supports without feeling embarrassed or self-conscious WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU: Go to https://drsarahbren.com/question to send us a question or a topic you want to hear us answer on Securely Attached - Beyond the Sessions!

Dr. W. Thomas Boyce, author of The Orchid and the Dandelion, joins me to talk about why some children are biologically more sensitive to their environments and how that sensitivity can become either a challenge or a powerful strength. Together we explore: - What it means to have either an orchid or a dandelion child and why this exists on a spectrum rather than as a strict either-or. - Why sensitive children often struggle the most in stressful environments and thrive the most in supportive ones. - How nervous system reactivity and regulation show up differently across kids and what that means for how you parent. - The difference between sensitivity and fragility and why sensitive kids can be incredibly resilient when the right supports are in place. - How parents can support orchid children without overprotecting or pushing them too hard. This episode is designed to help parents better understand their child's sensitivity, feel less afraid of getting it wrong, and walk away with a clearer sense of how to support their child in a way that builds resilience, confidence, and long-term emotional health. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST: 📚The Orchid and the Dandelion FOLLOW US ON INSTAGRAM: 📱@theorchidandthedandelion 📱@drsarahbren ADDITIONAL REFERENCES AND RESOURCES: 👉 Want to get my research-backed framework for increasing cooperation and emotion regulation skills in your sensitive child? Check out Parenting by Design, my guided program to help you parent your unique child in a way that increases cooperation, defuses power struggles, and rebuilds their trust in your authority–all while supporting your child's mental health and your own. CHECK OUT ADDITIONAL PODCAST EPISODES YOU MAY LIKE: 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about helping "Big Reactors" learn to regulate and manage their intense emotions with Claire Lerner 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about parenting a sensitive, "spicy," highly emotional child 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about temperament and personality with Dr. Koraly Pérez-Edgar 🎧 Listen to my podcast episode about preventing burnout when you're the parent of a highly sensitive child