This Sustainable Life

The notes I read from:Yesterday my mom suggested I move away from the city if it makes me feel so bad. Last week my dad reaffirmed that he wouldn't appear on the podcast without some vague conditions he was using my invitation to cajole me into.To move away from the problem is exactly the opposite of my mission. Nearly everyone else identifies my work as helping the world, even if they don't see the underlying beauty, harmony, etc I do, but my parents get annoyed.Why the discrepancy?They love and support their son, or something pretty close to me. How is it that my sharing my mission with them results in misunderstanding?Pivotal life moment: manager suggested sharing problemsGrowing up we didn't expose problems. If conflict, talking about it was the problem.People just are that way. Each person is just that way. You just have to work around them. But above all, don't mention any conflict.When I did, I have memories of my dad bellowing with anger. My mom would more play the martyr and imply the person bringing up the problem hurt her. After all, if no one brought it up, she wouldn't feel bad.So I learned not to expose conflict. All those years I let it fester. Sad at the relationships I lost.Then learned how to manage conflict.Then learned to manage emotions, learning the difference between a given emotion, even one I didn't like--like say anxiety, helplessness, hopelessness, guilt, shame, insecurity--and suffering or misery, which to me are like meta-emotions. I can feel shame but not misery, which allows me to face shame and act on it.I haven't seen that self-awareness in my parents. Once they feel the emotion they don't like, that situation is bad. The way out is to change the subject.Other huge life interest: natureConservation of energy is beautifulI don't remember my parents showing any interest for science or nature. They supported it, but I don't think it means anything to them. I can't imagine they understand a differential equation let alone see the profound beauty in it.So as I understand them, they can make no sense in working on sustainability.To bring up at that time that others are suffering for our decisions makes them feel bad. Why not just talk about relatives and who's doing what?From their views, I'm talking about something abstract that makes them feel bad. The possibility of seeing beauty or changing culture is, as best I can tell, beyond them.I've described myself like Meathead, the son-in-law in All in the Family. He believes in equal rights across racial, sexual, and class lines. Most of us would agree with him, but he lives in Archie's house and in that house, roles were prescribed by sex, race, and class, so equality angered him.Archie was the racist with the heart of gold, but a racist with a heart of gold is still a racist.So while I'm Meathead, they're polluters with hearts of gold. So, still hurting people.I'm not going to move away from the problem.Washington Square Park drowned in litterThe system of slavery evolved into today's polluting systemNine million people a year die from breathing polluted air Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Mike committed to a year-long task. Few guests go for so long. Since we're in a writing group together, I've seen him in between, but since I want you, the listeners, to hear guests' results first, I didn't ask him if he stayed on track. To be candid, I suspected he didn't because of the year length. Regular listeners know I bring some guests on for episode 1.5s, where I help bring them back on track. Usually it happens because I didn't connect them enough to their intrinsic motivation.I can't stand about our culture, including environmentalists: everyone uses extrinsic motivation, coercing, cajoling, convincing, and seeking compliance. All these techniques promote resistance. Even if the person complies on the action you bludgeon them into, you reinforce that they don't want to do it.So some guests, even when I do my best to make sure they're acting for their intrinsic reasons, not something abstract like to save the world or think of the children, choose something extrinsic.Not Mike! As you'll hear, he went to town on picking up litter while running. He accidentally made up a new term for it and influenced people he knew and even people he didn't.First we talked about my disconnecting my apartment from the electric grid, a bit over a month when we recorded. He loved my activity. I loved his. A love-fest all around. Plus he felt that story should be out there so much, he put me in touch with another New York Times bestselling author I've since scheduled recording.Mike's home page Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Nakisa shared about the intersection of nature and its disappearance growing up, as well as her growing awareness of it, family, community, and a polluting cement factory appearing in her neighborhood. We recorded shortly after the Buffalo shooting of May 2022, and talking about access to fresh produce disappearing from her neighborhood touched on it.Everything led to her sharing about her plans to garden and the role of gardening in her life growing up. She hasn't made the headway she wanted to, but isn't letting up. We'll have to wait for another episode to hear about more visible results, but she shares plenty about gardening and how we could use more in all neighborhoods.I think you'll hear her talking about nature, through gardening, bringing inspiration and freedom. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In Etienne and my continued exploration of each other's work, we look at my leadership work from his perspective.What are the differences between leadership and protest?What's the difference between a purity test and living by your values?How do my goals, strategies, and tactics differ from theirs?How do our efforts complement each other?Our time was tighter, so it was a shorter episode. I think it may lead to collaborating some time with Extinction Rebellion. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We start by my reading the emails where I invited Whitney to this podcast by cursing with a few f-bombs, showing how we started our interactions. Before recording our first episode we met in Washington Square Park and picked up litter together.Read my emails cursing at Whitney Tilson that brought him to my podcastWhitney shares how he created and maintains his following, speaking his mind, deliberately sharing provocative opinions. He shares how and why he engaged so much on the pandemic. I see that passion raising the potential for him to engage on sustainability, but we'll see. He became as knowledgeable as anyone I know and led a large number of people on it.Then we talked about carbon offsets. I shared my Two Carbon Cycle Explanation, though I've since simplified it in The simple explanation why offsets don’t work.We talked about flying. I since found some peer-reviewed numbers, which I posted in Some flying pollution numbers. In the week before recording, he flew round trip to Seattle, Miami, Bahamas, and in the next week Rwanda.Then he shared his reasons for not engaging on the environment. You'll recognize them. Remember when he said he was uninformed? On the contrary, I'd say, he learned everything he needed to to justify feeling good about not changing his behavior. Even so, I respect and admire that he engaged in our conversation and started finding ways to act. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've heard of The Chicken Soup for the Soul book and series. I had to start this conversation by apologizing that I did the opposite of the advice everyone knows: "don't judge a book by its cover." Something about the title and cover didn't resonate with me. They seemed syrupy and palliative. To my credit, 144 publishers also passed on the book before one published it. The book evolved into a series of hundreds of titles selling hundreds of millions of copies. Still, I only read the book after a mutual friend introduced us.I can't describe how valuable I found the book. The stories resonated with me, coming at the right time for me, though I wish I'd read it earlier. The stories tell of people facing obstacles and keeping true to themselves, learning about themselves and their values, succeeding by those values. Well, it shares other stories with other themes, but those resonated with me.Leading on sustainability, I face resistance from every person I work with on something they know is for their own benefit. They push back on living more healthy. They push back on me helping them live by the Golden Rule---a principle of reciprocity at the foundation of, I believe, every culture ever, or, if not, certainly ours. Critics discount my individuality, suggesting that because I am straight, white, male, accomplished, financially stable, and many things that I'm not but that they project onto me based on their preconceived notions, that these things were easy, handed to me, and mean I don't understand challenges of life others do. They treat me as stupid, ignorant, devoid of character, incapable of empathy, condescending, insensitive, devoid of individuality, lacking appreciation, and that all these things result from accidents of my birth.Chicken Soup for the Soul helped me see not to fight them or waste my time trying to address their prejudices. If they can't see me for who I am, responding to them puts me in their world. I'm working on bigger problems. The ones that will see me for me will come around. The ones that never will, better not to waste my time with them.I don't know how my explanation of this realization sounds since it hit me in the gut more than intellectually, so it's hard to put into words, but it felt liberating and relieving. Whether my explanation resonates with you or you're curious about similar epiphanies you might experience, I recommend the book and meeting Mark directly through our conversation.https://www.markvictorhansen.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Listen to the difference between Ash's tone, her level of engagement, and her type of engagement between what she talks about in the first few minutes and about fifteen minutes later. In both cases she shows a high magnitude of emotion. At the beginning she's outraged at stuff outside her life. Later she's passionate about things in her life.Nearly everyone trying to motivate on the environment focuses on problems elsewhere, trying desperately to convince, cajole, or coerce people to act because they have to or disasters will happen. That extrinsic motivation comes off as bludgeoning, all the more because it always comes from someone who isn't living sustainably.If you want to motivate someone, connect with intrinsic motivation. What do you care about? What do they care about? I recommend interrupting the pattern in you of getting into cycles of outrage, blame, helplessness, hopelessness, and so on leading to pointing fingers and inaction or pointless action. I recommend interrupting it in others too, though more tactfully.Instead, recall what you care about and do everything you can for it. Take responsibility for what you love, the opposite of blaming others. If you've bought into the lie that personal change conflicts with systemic change, drop the lie. Don't spread it. Systemic change begins with personal change.Listen to what engages Ash, what she cares about, and compare with abstract things, however big and bad. What can you connect with? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Since Bill visited the Hadza in modern-day Tanzania, and I've been learning about cultures that have lived for tens to hundreds of thousands of years, I asked him about how they lived. We talked about their religion, rituals, dancing, singing, fashion, textiles, and culture in general.Neither of us studies people or cultures, so we're just two people talking about our observations, but it's pretty clear when little boys learn to use bows and arrows around when they learn walking and talking that there are cultural differences we can learn from. As for our culture, the summer after high school, a friend and I rode bikes and camped from Philadelphia to Maine and back, about 1,500 miles over a month. Everyone jokes at least, but many say seriously, that parents would be arrested for letting their kids do that trip today.So we talk about how to raise kids and what we may be missing. Are young children taught today to handle sharp knives in the kitchen? Bill talked about a Hadza kid carrying around a machete.In summary, we talk about cultural differences including independence, responsibility, and freedom for youth, which we lack and suppress.American culture has a lot to learn.We also talk about Bill's commitment, helping nurse his plant back to life. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Following up last conversation with Etienne, on Extinction Rebellion's mission, strategy, and tactics, this time we talk about his path from disengagement to becoming a Rebel---that is, playing a significant role in Extinction Rebellion and committing a major part of his life to it.I don't know many others who have committed and dedicated so much personally, with such dedication and passion, to making sustainability one of their priorities or the priority. Most people seem content to talk about it and get outraged but not act.Etienne shares about peaceful civil disobedience, pressuring the state, his personal risk, coming to terms with engaging so fully, talking to loved ones about it, and more of the personal side of preparing to act. He knows his history and title lead many people to listen to him more, though it could also lead people who disagree to push back harder. The Olympics and patriotism mean different things to different people. He has stature, but many people may decry him for that reason.It meant preparing himself, emotionally, socially, intellectually. If you're thinking of acting, you can learn from Etienne's experience. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Here are the notes I read from for this post:Walking through park2017, pandemic"Thanks"Not thankworthyRestored faith / Nobody does / interrupting / construction workerOfficeContinual improvementEnjoyingFat / "Titty twister!" / salt"I can't"See meth, fentanyl, heroin users"I can"Forced $20 bill on meHad to run but kept talkingPartly wish I'd gotten contact information Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.