Make Life Less Difficult

In this episode I share about my journey of learning about self-compassion.  Beginning to practice self-compassion has changed my life more than all the other self-help books, seminars, conferences, and workshops I've attended (and there have been a lot!).  I share two main ideas:Introduce the idea of self-compassion and how it can help us be more compassionate with others.Share a strategy combining self-compassion and minimalism to make lasting change.Compassion: literally means “to suffer together.”  From researchers, it’s defined as “the feeling arising when you’re confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.” – Greater Good, UC Berkeley When you listen to your friend who’s upset and disappointed about not getting the job, you see they’re suffering and you feel motivated to relieve that suffering so you say things like:  I’m so sorry you didn’t get the job.  You worked so hard for it and I think you deserved it!  Another opportunity will come along.  You’ll get a chance again!”But what do you say to yourself when you're suffering?  Often we say negative things to ourself.  We beat ourselves up in ways we'd never do to a friend or loved one.While it’s socially acceptable to have compassion for others… what about for ourselves?Dr. Kristin Neff helped me discover compassion is extremely powerful when directed inward, and I’ve never been the same since.Self-compassion is turning the understanding of suffering toward oneself.  Ironically, this isn’t selfish. It’s just as compassionate as turning my understanding of suffering to my friend.It opens the door for me to recognize when I’m suffering, when I’m going through a difficult time, when I need support.  And, I’ve found that the more I have compassion for myself, the more I have compassion for others!  Truly.Resources:Book: Self-Compassion: the proven power of being kind to yourself by Kristin NeffSelf-Compassion assessment and other resourcesTED Talk: Kristin NeffBlog: Self-Compassion and completing our goals (The 30-day challenge that took me 105 days!)www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Susie Csorsz Brown is my guest today.  Susie and I met in Colombo, Sri Lanka, where we both live as part of the US Foreign Service Community.Susie, a Parent and Wellness Coach, has a wealth of knowledge and experience  helping families focus on healthy living and managing transitions.  In addition,  she's got expertise in moving around the world, handling medical emergencies and advocacy situations for her family, plus the challenges that are innate to repeated international moves with kids and pets.Sharing a deeply personal story for the podcast, Susie tells of the loss of her twin sister and the journey she's been on since to process the grief and try to understand the complexity of it all.I'm deeply grateful for Susie's willingness to share this piece of her journey and know it will touch many lives and hearts. More about Susie:Parent and Wellness Coach Susie Csorsz Brown, helps families focus on healthy living, and offers support for families and parents in transition. With three children of her own, and a Foreign Service spouse since 2000, Susie coaches from personal experience dealing with family issues from the stress of relocation, school issues, medical advocacy situations, pregnancy and unaccompanied tours, as well as family angst, especially when associated with relocation. Susie believes all families need support, and offers  sessions for families and small groups, tailored to help families live their best life.  Connect with Susie:Websites:  Healthy Expat Parent: Wellness for Parents and for FamiliesThe Healthy Expat Parent Recipes:  So many amazing recipes that your kids will like!The Big Purple Blob: Coaching and Counseling for ExpatsEmail: healthyexpatparent@gmail.com www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Evelyne Fallows joins me today for a great exploration of personal growth, relationship management, and finding oneself in the midst of the demands of others.Evelyne and I met in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia in 2014, thanks to our dogs, Ruby and Sierra.  Our friends has spanned multiple international moves and continues to grow and expand even though we live on different sides of the globe.  About Evelyne:French by birth, American by marriage, expat by choice, global citizen by heart, Evelyne is a conference interpreter turned fitness trainer turned fiction writer and screenwriter.She is an avid museum goer, amateur kick boxer, chocolate addict, wine taster foodie and mostly, a world-traveler.She loves and lives drama (on and off Broadway), people say she's funny and charming but sometimes impatient.After 20 years living and traveling around Europe, Asia and the Middle-East, Evelyne lives now in New York City.Join Evelyne, in English and French as she takes you along her journeys!Evelyne's books:The Polar Bear and the Palm TreeLes Aventures de Mademoiselle Annie, vol 1Vignettes of LifeBroadway au Pays des Cigognes, Les Aventures de Mademoiselle Annie, vol 2www.evelynefallows.comwww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Michaela Lawrence Jeffery.  Michaela and I met in 2007 and I unknowingly prophesied both our futures!  Michaela shares her wisdom and insights on life and the journey of becoming a mother, including having two miscarriages and what helped make those losses a little less difficult.  Michaela finds great contentment sipping a warm beverage in a local coffee shop while she works on a piece of writing. She’s currently trying her hand at essays. Michaela is  married and has two kiddos. She’s a pastor, has an enormous stack of unfinished and unread books, and loves to be outside. You can find her online at wordhabit.comRemember, be a bunny!  "The Rabbit Listened" by Cori Doerrfeld.Blogs by Michaela: (Mis)carriage: Processing Grace All my childrenMother's Day: is it for me?www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Brenda Harrington is the CEO and founder of Adaptive Leadership Strategies, LLC. Her reputation for helping clients navigate both obvious and obscure leadership challenges has resulted in leaders throughout the country and around the world contacting her to help them:Increase influence across their organizations Boost productivity and engagementDevelop creative solutions to complex challengesAlign vision among stakeholdersCreate high-functioning, high performing in-person and remote teamsDevelop effective expatriate and reintegration strategies to mitigate business disruptionPrior to establishing the consultancy in 2011, she was the Executive Vice President of a real estate consulting and management firm. As the organization’s senior leader for operations, she provided oversight for Human Resources, Accounting, IT and Consulting. Brenda has also held management positions with AT&T and Mobil Oil Corporation.Brenda helps each client find their authentic leadership style. When needed, she is able to access a variety of assessment tools to reveal professional growth opportunities and potential blind spots to inform the development of engagement objectives.Areas of Focus Influential and authentic leadershipSuccession planning and occupational transitionsIndividual contributor to manager transitionsCross-culture and diversity skill development Global MindsetExpatriate integration and reintegrationConnect with Brenda:  https://adaptiveleadershipstrategies.comwww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

In this episode Lisa shares ideas around change and transition.  Some people thrive in change, others really struggle with it.  Change is an event.  Transition is a psychological process with 3 phases: ending, neutral zone, new beginning.   Based on William Bridges' Transition Process Model, Lisa discusses the difference between change and transition, shares stories demonstrating the change and transition processes, and ideas on how to lessen the difficulty of change.A deeper understanding of the impact of change (through the transition process) helps us respond to and manage this experience that happens over and over in our lives.  Some changes are significant and may take years to go through the full transition process.  Other changes are fairly minor and we'll process them within minutes.  Keep in mind that each person processes the transitions in their lives at different paces.  Two people going through the exact same change may have very different journeys through the transition process.Read more at William Bridges website Click here for : Books on TransitionsBlog: The Trials of Transitionswww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Titus Mott is a friend and fellow sojourner (aka tortured soul!).  He is a huge influence in my life and the reason why I dipped my toe into the podcasting world.This conversation with Titus is fun, meaningful, exploratory, and highlights the idea that making life less difficult doesn't need to be strenuous and isn't about making life easy.Enjoy the listen and follow Titus on Instagram @thearthriticathlete.www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Russ is a leadership coach, a health & wellness coach and facilitator of organizationaldevelopment who works with leaders to find their own trail to reach their potential byusing mindfulness, the ability to assess situations and behaviors objectively,compassion, humor, and authentic support. Russ works to develop leadershipawareness for the betterment of themselves, their communities, and institutions. Hehas strengthened and encouraged hundreds of clients in understanding their patterns,potential, strengths and weaknesses, thus providing a richer understanding ofthemselves and the culture and relations they are surrounded by.He is also currently an Adjunct Professor at Georgetown University’s Institute forTransformation Leadership Health and Wellness coaching Certificate as well as BocconiUniversity in the MaSEM program (Master in Sustainability &, Energy Management)teaching a course on Social Entrepreneurship. He is also the founder & CEO of TheWatts Group focusing on leadership coaching and Founding Partner at Solutions forOnline Integrated Learning and a managing partner and Chief Learning Officer of iLEAPand the Global Leadership Academy.He has a background in Education and Organizational Development, and an ExecutiveMaster’s Degree in Leadership (M.L.) from the Georgetown University McDonoughSchool of Business. He is a graduate from the Executive Leadership Coach training fromGeorgetown University and holds a PCC level of certification from the InternationalCoach Federation (ICF), Health and Wellness certified coach (NBC-HWC) and is a MasterIntegral Facilitator.Some of his other passions include mountaineering, river kayaking, ultra-running, rockclimbing, cooking, and photography that have allowed him to stand on Denali,Kilimanjaro, and climb Half Dome and Lost Arrow Spire in Yosemite. Most recently, heran 277km across the Alps over 8 days in the Trans Alpine Run.Make Life Less DifficultSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Lisa share more of her story and who she is.It can feel overwhelming to tell your story.  Where do you begin?  How much do you tell?  What events should you share and which ones shouldn't be shared?  Everyone has a story to tell.  Everyone actually has SO many stories to tell!  Why don't you pick one of your stories and tell it to someone today!  Stories connect us and help us know we're not alone.  And this can help make life less difficult!www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Lisa spends  a little time exploring and explaining who she is.  There are many titles we all hold over the course of our lives.  Listing them all out can be a fun and rewarding exercise.  Often we do and are WAY more than we give ourselves credit for.  Take a few minutes to list out all of your titles and roles in life.  You may be surprised at what you discover!www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra