Make Life Less Difficult

My guest today is Nickie Foley.Nickie and I met in January 2021 here in Sri Lanka.  We are both married to US Diplomats and the connection through the Foreign Service community is an immediate point of connection.  For Nickie and I, however, the first time we spent any time together in person it was on a 4-hour drive to a yoga retreat.  As I remember, there wasn't a minute of silence between us the entire 4 hours!  Nor on the 4-hour drive home a few days later!Nickie is an Early Years Teacher, mom, yoga instructor, swim coach, and outdoor and nature enthusiast.Nickie's stories include how we process earlier life events with the lens of compassion and also with the desire to learn from mistakes, bad experiences, pain, and even abuse.  As a heads up, we talk about sex, sexuality, and abuse at various parts in our conversation.  Below are some resources if you or someone you know would benefit from support for processing past experiences or managing current relationships.Resources:RAINN: The US's largest anti-sexual violence organization.  24/7 hotline and chat available.EMDR.com: Learn about reprocessing therapy and find therapists worldwide.Getting Past Your Past (book) by Francine ShapiroWomen Against AbuseInternational List of Sexual & Domestic Violence Agencieswww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Melinda Grafton.Melinda is the founder and principal of 3D Renew.  She provides executive coaching, leadership development programs, and individualized wellness programs.Melinda's story includes leaving home at 12 years old, serving 26 years in the United States Air Force, journeying through injury and PTSD, and through it all always returning to her life purpose of helping others on their personal and professional journeys.Melinda works with senior executives, teams, wounded warriors, veterans and their family members.  In addition to her masters degree in psychology, her professional coaching credentials, she is a yoga instructor, Ayurveda nutrition specialist, and Lean Six Sigma Green Belt.Melinda shares these pieces of her story, what she's learned and continues to learn and ideas for being a bridge to making life less difficult for those around her.Melinda's WebsiteConnect with Melinda on LinkedInwww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Amanda Elo'Esh.Amanda is the founder and president of Living Wisdom Church, a dogma-free plant and energy medicine based community in the San Francisco Bay area.Amanda is a Spiritual Success Mentor who found and began using her spiritual gifts from an early age.  She has a masters in counseling psychology and expressive arts therapy.  She's an international speaker, teacher, an author, medicine woman, and more!I was introduced to Amanda through Dr. Matthew Gamble (Episode 23) and am so grateful to be connected!More about Amanda:Amanda Elo'Esh has been given spiritual gifts that have been a comfort and great support throughout her life. She has been able to access "Source" wisdom, which helped her to participate in programs for gifted children, and given her secrets for healing her own emotional and physical traumas, as well as providing guidance through obstacles and suffering.Amanda has been able to heal from physical birth defects, auto-immune deficiency, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive thoughts, body dysmorphic disorder, an eating disorder, and suicidal thoughts, as well as depression and PTSD by tapping into the infinite wisdom available to each of us.Amanda recognized early on that, despite her many challenges, she also had great resources to cope with her human journey. She has been passionate about discovering the secrets to helping others to access their own unique and sacred relationship with everything that is greater than us that wishes us well.She has applied her spiritual guidance as well as her academic experience in a lifelong commitment to bridging science and spirituality, and providing powerful, effective, and results-focused practices, healing ceremonies, and personal mentorship to help others tap into the unimaginable happiness that come from having a personal relationship with Source.Her commitment is to help everyone who is ready to access their inalienable sovereignty, liberate themselves from subconscious programs, and to bring loving kindness, compassion, connection, and limitless joy to humanity.She is committed to being an ally and dismantling the internalized racism and other harmful programs that are creating darkness and divisiveness into our world today.Amanda's WebsiteBook we referenced: Conscious: A Brief Guide to the Fundamental Mystery of the Mind  by Anneka Harriswww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Mary Kay Campbell.  Mary Kay is a speaker, storyteller, and connector. After more than 25 years of corporate experience in strategic marketing and communications, Mary Kay is applying this knowledge and her skills to her passion: storytelling -- and helping others tell their stories with impact!Mary Kay share how a life-threatening car accident led her to take the courageous steps into living her authentic life yet.  She also shares pieces of her journey through divorce, emotional abuse, single parenting, having a traumatic brain injury, and recreating herself and her life several times over.From Mary Kay's website: "In May 2021, I launched The Heart of Storytelling as a way to share my gifts and passions with the world. I love words. Words matter. And helping others to reach their greatest potential is not only a dream but also a passion. I don’t want others to wait for a life-altering accident to pursue their dreams and live their authentic life. That’s why my inspirational speeches are so important to me. I want to help you! I hope you leave my speeches inspired, motivated and empowered. AND, I give you a roadmap to get there. But it’s not just about the spoken word. I also love to bring the heart and soul of a business, organization or individual to life through the written word. It’s what gets me up in the morning. I want to help you tell your story. I want to help you connect with your clients in a meaningful way through the use of words that convey your why - your heart and soul. "Learn more about Mary Kay:Demo ReelTEDx TalkThe Heart of Storytelling websitewww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My conversation today is with Brian Levenson, the founder of Strong Skills and author of the book, Shift Your Mind.Brian and his team at Strong Skills  provide executive coaching and mental performance coaching, speaking and consulting to elite organizations, performers and leaders. He has been fortunate to work with CEO’s, professional athletes and with teams in the NBA, NHL, and MLS, Division 1 athletic departments, the Federal Reserve, the Department of Homeland Security, Hilton, Young Presidents Organization (YPO) and many other organizations.He also has a weekly podcast, Intentional Performers, where he interviews a diverse group of elite high performers. His book, Shift Your Mind, explores nine mental shifts to thrive in preparation and performance.In our conversation we explore how the theme of making life less difficult connects for high performers -- people who push themselves purposefully into difficult tasks and places.  Can one compete at high levels and make life less difficult?  We dig into these topics and so much more!  You will love Brian's stories, his experience and wisdom.Connect with Brian on LinkedInwww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Russ Watts joins me again today as we discuss our personal journeys and experiences with EMDR -- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.  EMDR is known as an effective treatment for PTSD.  What Russ and I have both learned, however, is that there are significant benefits to be gained from Reprocessing even seemingly insignificant memories from earlier in life.We are not therapists, psychologists, or academicians.  We simply want to share our own stories and hope that others will be intrigued and look into EMDR treatment if any of our stories or experiences resonate.Dr. Francine Shapiro is the psychologist who discovered this treatment and we reference her book, Getting Past Your Past, throughout our conversation.  Getting Past Your Past is a fantastic resource to better understand EMDR.Read more here.www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Before closing the door on 2021, I like to reflect on the year.  I've developed a four-step reflection process and I share that in today's podcast.The steps:Acknowledge you regretsIdentify ONE thing you're proud of accomplishingShift your focus to PROGRESS, not perfectionBe kind to yourself!Listen to the full podcast for examples and explanations of how this process helps gracefully close out the year and prepares you for starting 2022!www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

Many times when I talk about stories, people say to me, "I don't have a story to tell."  My response is, "You don't have A story to tell, you have a MULTITUDE of stories to tell!!"Every single human has amazing stories.  You may not think so (about yourself), but I promise, it's true!  You may not realize how amazing your stories are because you are living in them.  Sharing them with others may help you realize that others will be amazing and inspired and even in awe of you.Poem:Instructions for Living a Life by Mary OliverInstructions for living a life:Pay attention.Be astonished.Tell about it.If you are considering telling your story, I'd love to hear from you.  Reach out any time to lisa@makelifelessdifficult.com.  www.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Matthew Thomas-Malani.  Matt and I went to high school together and reconnected a few years ago on Facebook when I shared a recommendation for the movie, Boy Erased, staring Lucas Hedges.Matt and I both grew up in religious communities that taught being gay was  wrong -- a sin.  As I have declared I no longer subscribe to those teachings, I've had people from that community respond quite harshly and critically.  Imagine how much more difficult it is for someone to come out as gay in such an environment, as was Matt's experience.I'm so grateful for Matt's willingness to share pieces of his coming our journey.  Today, Matt is happily married to Tony Brooks.  Matt and Tony live in a carriage house in Pennsylvania with their three dogs -- Thacher, a treeing walker coonhound, and the beagle brothers, Franklin and Zebulon.  Matt is a voracious reader, mostly of non-fiction and he loves good movies and certain sitcoms (with irreverent humor).  He loves to cook and bake, although he says he's a better cook than baker.If you or someone you know is struggling with their coming out journey, here are some resources for support and encouragement.  Connect with Matt on Facebook.Books:It Gets BetterNow That You Know: A Parents' Guide to Understanding Their Gay and Lesibian Children, by Nancy HaywardIs It a Choice? by Eric MarcusGod and the Gay Christian: The Biblical Case in Support of Same-Sex Relationships by Matthew VinesOut of the Shadows: Reimagining Gay Men's Lives, by Walk OdetsSupport and Resources:The Trevor Project: 24/7/365 support in the USTrevor Space: International Digital Support Community for LGBTQ+ young peopleBefrienders Worldwide: Find a helpline by CountryParents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays: PFLAG.orgSuicide Hotlines by CountryIt Gets Better Project:  The It Gets Better Project inspires people across the globe to share their stories and remind the next generation of LGBTQ+ youth that hope is out there, and it will get better.Human Rights Campaign Sage USA: Advocacy for LGBT Elders Matthew Shepard FoundationOut & Equal Workplace Advocateswww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra

My guest today is Rashmi Zimburg.Rashmi is a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach.  Drawing on her education and experience, Rashmi helps her clients make lifestyle changes and choose health-promoting ways that produce real and lasting results.  Rashmi shares pieces of her story from growing up in India, moving to the USA for university, working in NYC, and moving around the world with her husband who is a diplomat and their two children.Her story is woven with wisdom, authentic sharing, and deep self-awareness.More from Rashmi Zimburg:"Having lived in many different countries, spanning five continents, I truly feel like a citizen of the world. Within me, there is a deep appreciation for human diversity, cultures and traditions. However I know that at a core level we are all the same, facing the same challenges and on the same search for happiness and fulfillment."As I moved from country to country, with my diplomat husband and two children, I tried to fit into each new and unfamiliar place. I pretended to myself that the inherent challenges of making each new place a home, for my family and myself, was easier than it actually was. This eventually had an impact on my health. One day I woke up and on a routine visit to the doctor, I was told that I was gravely ill."This diagnosis served as a catalyst for change. I had to face the fact that somewhere along the way, while I was focused on taking care of my family and my social obligations, I had stopped taking care of 'me'.  Realizing that something had to change, I embarked on the task of making some serious lifestyle changes. The first and most important step was the complete overhaul of my diet. Food, I believe, has the power to heal, transform and connect all of us. Through diet, along with other important internal shifts, I am in the process of healing myself. I now have a clearer sense of purpose, beyond the role I play in my family. Food has always been the prism that has allowed me to navigate my way through diverse cultures and customs."As a Certified Integrative Nutrition Health Coach, my mission is to support you in clarifying and creating your version of a fulfilling life. I will stand by you as you put yourself on the path to finding your purpose. Forget about restrictive diets and counting calories. I will guide you to tap into your body and learn how to nurture yourself. Are you ready to finally shift your reality so you can come from a place of strength rather than depletion?"Connect with Rashmi:WebsiteInstagramwww.makelifelessdifficult.comSupport the showMake Life Less Difficult~   Support:buymeacoffee.com/lisatilstra