Philokalia Ministries

The Dismantling of the Religious Self Four Lenten Reflections on Delusion, Abandonment, and the Life That Remains in God “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24 Second Reflection The Violence We Call Righteousness On the Ego That Survives Inside Virtue “They being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and seeking to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.” Romans 10:3 When the man sees that fulfillment cannot be found in religious life itself, he turns toward righteousness. He disciplines himself. He purifies his conduct. He restrains his passions. He orders his thoughts. He seeks purity. Outwardly, transformation occurs. Inwardly, something remains untouched. The ego survives. It survives inside virtue. St. John Climacus writes that vainglory completes every virtue the man performs. It attaches itself to fasting. It attaches itself to prayer. It attaches itself to obedience.
 It whispers: This is yours. Virtue becomes possession. The man begins to live from righteousness. He experiences himself as stable because he is righteous. He trusts his righteousness. This trust separates him from God. Because union with God requires the loss of trust in oneself as source of life. The Pharisee stands before God and speaks truth. He fasts. He obeys. He lives faithfully. And remains separate. Because he still exists as the center of his own existence. The tax collector possesses nothing. He cannot lift his eyes. He does not trust himself. Christ says he goes home justified. Because justification belongs to the man who has nothing left to preserve. St. Isaac says that until the soul despairs of itself, it cannot rest in God. Not emotional despair. Ontological despair. The knowledge that one does not possess life. Righteousness that preserves the ego prevents union. Because union requires death. Not moral improvement. Death. The man must lose the self that lives apart from God. Virtue cannot substitute for this death. Virtue can conceal it. The ego can survive indefinitely inside righteousness. And remain alone. ⸻ This is the most dangerous stage of the spiritual life. Because sin is obvious. But righteousness can conceal separation. The sinful man knows he is sick. The righteous man believes he is alive. Christ said to the church of Laodicea, “You say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not knowing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.” Revelation 3:17 This is not addressed to pagans. This is addressed to believers. To those who have acquired religious identity. To those who possess righteousness and draw life from it. They do not feel their need. They do not cry out. They do not seek life because they believe they possess it. This is why Christ says, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:32 Not because the righteous do not need Him. But because those who believe themselves righteous cannot receive Him. They are full. And God only fills the empty. St. Sophrony writes that the greatest tragedy is when man begins to live from himself rather than from God. Even if this life is clothed in virtue, it remains separation. It remains death. Virtue can purify behavior without destroying autonomy. It can cleanse the exterior while leaving the center untouched. Christ speaks with terrifying clarity about this. “You clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self indulgence.” Matthew 23:25 The outside can be purified. The inside can remain intact. The ego does not resist virtue. It feeds on virtue. It incorporates virtue into itself. It expands through virtue. It becomes righteous. And this righteousness becomes its shield against God. Because God does not come to improve the ego. He comes to crucify it. St. Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Galatians 2:20 This is not metaphor. This is the destruction of the autonomous center of existence. As long as the man lives from himself, even virtuously, he remains separate. Because life belongs only to God. St. Silouan the Athonite saw this with terrible clarity. He had labored greatly. He had prayed. He had struggled. He had purified himself. And yet the Lord allowed him to descend into hell. Not because he was sinful. But because righteousness had not yet been shattered. And Christ said to him, “Keep thy mind in hell, and despair not.” Not because hell was his destination. But because only in the destruction of self trust could union be born. As long as the man stands on his own righteousness, he stands alone. Only when this ground collapses does he begin to stand in God. Archimandrite Zacharias writes that God allows even the virtuous man to see his utter poverty so that he may cease drawing life from himself. This is the blessed despair that gives birth to true life. This despair is not psychological collapse. It is ontological revelation. The revelation that without God, one does not exist. Christ says, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 Not less. Nothing. Not even righteousness. When this is seen, virtue loses its power as identity. It remains. But it no longer belongs to the man. It becomes the life of Christ within him. Before this death, virtue belongs to the ego. After this death, virtue belongs to God. This is why the saints do not trust their righteousness. They fear it. They flee from it. Abba Poemen said, “A man may appear to be silent while his heart condemns others. Such a man is talking constantly.” Outward virtue. Inward autonomy. Separation remains. Another elder said that even if a man raises the dead but trusts himself, he has lost everything. Because union is not achieved by virtue. It is achieved by death. This is why the saints see themselves as sinners even when they are purified. Not because they deny reality. But because they do not live from themselves. They live from God. St. Isaac writes that the man who has truly seen himself is greater than the man who raises the dead. Because he has seen the truth. He has seen that he does not possess life. He has seen that all righteousness belongs to God. This vision destroys the ego at its root. And only when the ego dies can God become life. Until then, righteousness remains violence. Violence against truth. Violence against union. Violence against love. Because it preserves the illusion of existence apart from God. The elder Sophrony says that as long as man attributes righteousness to himself, he remains enclosed within the prison of his own being. He cannot escape. He cannot breathe. He cannot live. Only when righteousness is lost as possession does it become life. Only when the man ceases to exist as source does God become his existence. This is why Christ says, “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25 Not improves it. Finds it. Because it did not belong to him before. This is the second dismantling. Not the destruction of sinful identity. The destruction of righteous identity. Not the loss of vice. The loss of ownership of virtue. The loss of oneself as the one who lives. Until this death occurs, the ego survives. It survives inside prayer. It survives inside obedience. It survives inside humility itself. It survives inside righteousness. And remains forever alone. --- Text of chat during the group: 01:28:35 Danny Moulton (Lakeside, Ohio): I’m wondering how fear and ego interplay in producing unhealthy religiosity. It seems to me ego and fear are two sides of the same coin. Ego is fed when we think we are righteous and doing religion right, but fear calls the shots when we think we are unrighteous and doing religion wrong. It seems both can lead to obsession with something other than Divine love. The Apostle John says that perfect love drives out fear. I believe this is absolutely true, but fear sure can put up a good fight at times. 01:32:27 Fr Martin, Arizona: What do you think of this? Shortly after arriving at my first parish, I told my spiritual father about all the things I would change. He said, “Check with God. He didn’t give you the football and tell you to run with it. What if God send you there to fail?” 01:33:46 Jaden Abrams: Father, bless! I was really impacted by these last two talks, thank you very much. What change can I make today to die to myself and stop sitting next to the vine. 01:35:31 Kate: When you speak about the death of the ego, is it more like a process of dying rather than something that is accomplished once and for all?  And I find my self asking how, how does the ego die?  Is it a simultaneous process of the dying of the ego and the soul growing in union with Christ? 01:40:29 Una: I was a complulsive A-getter in college, too. Thank you for sharing. 01:41:05 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "Father, bless! I was..." with ❤️ 01:42:47 Shannon: It feels must bleed out our ego and diappear into the darkness in order for God to turn light.  Not knowing where the next step, but trusting in God.  We disappear into prayer/ looking through window with lamps lite hearts 01:44:16 Fr Martin, Arizona: Today’s retreat convicted me. I’m not sure where to begin poking at my sense of self-identity and autonomy. My anxiety reveals to me that I harbor some delusions about myself. I used to visit a Romanian monk who was imprisoned and tortured by communists. Surprisingly, he never complained about that. Rather he said to me once, “Before I was imprisoned, I knew God in my books. After I was alone in prison, I found God in my heart.” 01:45:02 Jaden Abrams: How do I go about finding a spiritual Father? Am I supposed to choose, discern, let him "come to me", combination of all? I have fallen in love with the east in general and am immersing myself as much as possible please pray for me. 01:47:13 Julie: Reacted to "How do I go about fi…" with 🙏 01:48:13 Jaden Abrams: Replying to "Today’s retreat conv..." Father, bless! Thank you for sharing that. Very powerful. 01:48:49 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "How do I go about ..." with 🙏 01:49:13 mstef: Sounds like passive purgation. 01:49:23 IVAN: Reacted to "How do I go about ..." with 🙏 01:52:24 Eddy: 45 minutes south of HTM and guided by Fr Agapatos from HTM 01:52:51 Julie: Reacted to "45 minutes south of …" with 🙏 01:52:55 Jessica McHale: Finding Philokalia Ministries changed my life--praise God. 01:53:20 Jesssica Imanaka: Replying to "Finding Philokalia M..." Same! 01:53:26 Jaden Abrams: Thank you! 01:53:30 Art: Reacted to "Finding Philokalia M..." with 👌 01:53:33 Danny Moulton (Lakeside, Ohio): Ditto! 01:53:43 Julie: Reacted to "Finding Philokalia M…" with 👌 01:53:45 Jaden Abrams: Reacted to "{BAA35089-E138-45DD-AC25-095FB0D603EF}.png" with ❤️ 01:53:49 Jaden Abrams: Reacted to "45 minutes south of ..." with ❤️ 01:54:04 Joan Chakonas: Yes hearing you read is everything. 01:54:09 Fr Martin, Arizona: Replying to "Today’s retreat conv..." Thanks 01:54:11 Kevin Burke: Reacted to "Finding Philokalia M…" with 👌 01:54:32 Art: Thank you Father! 01:56:08 Kevin Burke: Thank you Father, this has really awakened my soul! 01:56:42 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You Father Thank You everyone. This is so important  We get to step out of World  And be with Christ, so we can grow into disciples 01:56:48 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father! 01:56:51 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:56:53 Bob Čihák, AZ: Bless you and thank you, Father!! 01:57:10 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you Father may God bless you, your mother and this group. 01:57:14 Janine: Thank you Father…great beautiful retreat! 01:57:16 Lorraine Green: Thank you 01:57:57 Jessica McHale: Amen! Thank you! Many prayers for you (and your mother)! 01:58:01 Kevin Burke: 🙏 01:58:04 Elizabeth Richards: Blessings- thank you for sharing your heart

The Dismantling of the Religious Self Four Lenten Reflections on Delusion, Abandonment, and the Life That Remains in God “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24 The fathers speak very little about religious success. They speak constantly about religious delusion. Not because religion is false, but because the ego can survive inside it indefinitely. It can pray. It can fast. It can obey. It can sacrifice. It can appear humble. It can appear faithful. It can appear entirely given to God. And yet never cease to exist as the center of its own life. The religious self is the final refuge of autonomy. It is the last structure to collapse. Christ did not come merely to forgive sin. He came to destroy the self that lives apart from Him and to raise the person into a life that is no longer his own. This destruction does not occur all at once. It occurs in stages. First, the destruction of false fulfillment. Then, the destruction of false righteousness. Then, the destruction of the self that believed it belonged to God. And finally, the revelation of the life that remains when the self that lived has died. This is not metaphor. It is the path. First Reflection The False Light That Feeds on Devotion On Seeking Fulfillment in Religious Things Instead of God “My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When shall I come and behold the face of God?” Psalm 41:3 (42:2) Evagrios of Pontus returns again and again to the command of the Lord because he knows the tragedy of the human heart. The command is heard. It is repeated. It is admired. But it is not yet obeyed. “Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness.” Matthew 6:33 This is not because the man refuses God. It is because he does not yet know how to live from Him. The soul seeks life with a desperation deeper than thought. It cannot endure emptiness. It cannot endure groundlessness. It must drink from something. And until it drinks from God Himself, it will drink from what surrounds Him. This is the beginning of the spiritual life for nearly every man. He turns away from obvious sin. He enters the life of prayer. He begins to fast. He reads the Scriptures. He studies the Fathers. He orders his days toward obedience and repentance. He removes himself from the chaos of the world and places himself among holy things. Everything outwardly moves toward God. But inwardly, something subtle and terrible begins to form. The man begins to live not from God, but from religious life itself. He begins to draw life from proximity. From belonging to the Church. From serving others. From participating in sacred rhythms. From being known as faithful. From being recognized as someone who has given his life to God. These things give him structure. They give him identity. They give him continuity. They give him the sense that his life has weight and meaning. And this feels like life. But it is not yet life in God. Christ did not say blessed are those who surround themselves with religious things. He said, “Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, neither can you unless you abide in Me.” John 15:4 The branch may rest against the vine. It may touch the vine. It may appear connected to the vine. But unless the life of the vine flows into it, it remains dead. St. Isaac the Syrian speaks with terrifying clarity about this condition. He writes that the soul seeks rest relentlessly, but until it rests in God, it will rest in created things. Even in holy things. Even in prayer itself. Because prayer can become a place where the ego hides. St. John Climacus warns of this when he writes that vainglory attaches itself to every virtue like a parasite. It feeds on fasting. It feeds on prayer. It feeds on silence. It feeds on obedience. It feeds on tears. It feeds on devotion itself. It is possible to pray constantly and remain centered in oneself. It is possible to serve constantly and remain untouched by God. It is possible to build an entire life around God and never yet have surrendered one’s life to Him. Christ speaks of this with devastating simplicity. “Many will say to Me in that day, Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and do many mighty works in Your name? And then I will declare to them, I never knew you.” Matthew 7:22–23 He does not deny their works. He denies their communion. They lived around Him. They acted in His name. They built their lives in His presence. But they did not live from Him. This is the great danger of religious life. It offers proximity without union. The ego adapts itself to religious structure because religious structure can sustain its existence indefinitely. The ego does not resist religion. It colonizes it. Abba Macarius the Great said, “The heart itself is but a small vessel, yet dragons are there, and lions are there, and poisonous beasts are there, and all the treasures of wickedness are there. But there too is God.” Both realities coexist for a long time. The man prays, and the ego remains. The man fasts, and the ego remains. The man serves, and the ego remains. The ego does not fear religious activity. It fears death. Because Christ did not come merely to improve the ego. He came to crucify it. “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.” Galatians 2:20 This is not metaphor. It is ontological violence. The ego can survive prayer. It cannot survive crucifixion. This is why the ego draws life from religious participation rather than from God Himself. Because participation strengthens its continuity. Communion destroys its autonomy. Archimandrite Zacharias Zacharou writes that God allows the man to labor in the life of the Church for years while this hidden foundation remains intact. Not because God is absent, but because the man is not yet capable of bearing the loss of himself. So God permits him to live from secondary things. From belonging. From service. From stability. From identity. These things are not evil. They are merciful accommodations to weakness. But they cannot give life. The prophet Jeremiah speaks with words that cut through every illusion. “They have forsaken Me, the fountain of living water, and hewed out cisterns for themselves, broken cisterns that can hold no water.” Jeremiah 2:13 The tragedy is not that the cisterns are wicked. It is that they cannot sustain life. They leak. They empty. They must constantly be refilled. The man must constantly reaffirm himself. He must remain useful. He must remain faithful. He must remain visible. He must remain necessary. Because his life depends on these conditions. But life in God does not depend on conditions. Life in God survives abandonment. It survives obscurity. It survives uselessness. It survives the loss of identity itself. This is why God begins, at a certain point, to remove the cisterns. Not as punishment. As mercy. He allows the man to lose what sustained his sense of himself. He allows him to lose position. He allows him to lose recognition. He allows him to lose certainty. He allows him to lose the emotional consolations that once accompanied prayer. Prayer becomes dry. Service becomes empty. The structures that once gave life now give nothing. This is the beginning of truth. St. Silouan the Athonite describes this moment as the withdrawal of grace that reveals to the man the true poverty of his soul. He writes that when grace withdraws, the soul sees its own weakness and learns that it cannot live without God. Not without religious life. Without God. The distinction becomes absolute. The man discovers that he does not yet know how to live from God Himself. He only knows how to live from what surrounds Him. This revelation feels like death. Because something is dying. The false center. The imagined continuity. The self that lived from participation instead of communion. Christ spoke of this death when He said, “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25 This loss is not symbolic. It is experiential. It is terrifying. Because the ego experiences the loss of its foundations as annihilation. Abba Moses said, “Go, sit in your cell, and your cell will teach you everything.” What does the cell teach? It teaches the man that he does not yet live from God. It removes distraction. It removes affirmation. It removes reinforcement. And what remains is his poverty. His inability to give himself life. His inability to sustain himself. His inability to exist without drinking from God. This is the beginning of real prayer. Not prayer that expresses devotion. Prayer that expresses need. Not prayer that affirms identity. Prayer that arises from groundlessness. The publican understood this when he stood at a distance and said, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner.” Luke 18:13 He had nothing left to sustain himself. And Christ says he went home justified. Because justification begins when illusion ends. God does not remove the false light to harm the man. He removes it to save him. Because whatever the man cannot lose without losing himself has become his god. God removes every false god. Even the religious ones. Until only God remains. St. Isaac the Syrian writes that the man who has learned to live from God alone becomes free from all fear. He can lose everything and remain alive. Because his life no longer depends on created things. It depends on the uncreated God. This is the passage from religious life into real life. The passage from devotion into communion. The passage from illusion into truth. It begins in loss. It ends in God.

“Death in battle for God’s sake is better than a shameful and sluggish life.” There is always a lion for the man who does not want to begin. Always a reason. Always a danger. Always a wiser moment to wait for. And so he remains on the road his entire life. Careful. Thoughtful. Unbloodied. Unchanged. St. Isaac is merciless here. Much wisdom can damn a soul. Not the wisdom that fears God, but the kind that calculates and delays obedience. The man who watches the winds never sows. The man who weighs every risk never enters the fight. The simple man jumps into the water. He does not negotiate with fear. He does not preserve his body. He burns with first ardor and moves. This is what we lack. Not knowledge. Fire. The way is filled with blood. Blood means loss. Blood means humiliation. Blood means the death of the life you hoped to keep. If you wish to begin, hold your death in your mind. Remember the day after your burial. Let eternity crush your attachment to this present age. Hope in this life weakens the soul. Do not begin with a divided heart. Divided labor exhausts and yields nothing. God does not give grace in proportion to our techniques but according to the ardor of love and the boldness of faith. “As thou hast believed, so be it done unto thee.” Some beat their heads in repentance. Some drown in prostrations. Some burn in psalmody. Some are seized into silence. There are many forms. But all give themselves without reserve. Then comes the ruin. One tastes and turns back. One tastes a little and grows proud. One is enslaved by ambition. One by vainglory. One by greed. One by habit. One begins well and does not endure. These are the lions. Not in the street. In the heart. The one who stands firm does not turn back until he receives the pearl. He begins again and again. He refuses slackness. He does not wait for ideal conditions. He does not demand guarantees. Always begin. If the heart is pure from passion and doubt, God Himself raises the soul. Not because it was clever. Not because it was impressive. But because it believed and stepped onto the blood-stained road without bargaining. Begin. Or die still talking about the journey. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:07:55 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Anthologion 00:08:15 Jesssica Imanaka: https://ignatius.cc/products/anthologion-modern-english 00:08:28 Una’s iPhone: What about The Agpeya? Coptic 00:08:43 Jessica McHale: I use the Publicans Prayer Book. Sophia Press. It's a Small Horologion. 00:09:14 Anthony: Reacted to I use the Publicans ... with "❤️" 00:09:24 Una’s iPhone: What book is Gather talking about? 00:10:49 David Swiderski, WI: Reacted to "I use the Publicans ..." with 👍 00:11:05 Julie: Hi all🙏🏼 00:11:55 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "Hi all🙏🏼" with 👋 00:12:41 Elizabeth Richards: From who? 00:12:50 Kate: Replying to "Hi all🙏🏼" Hi Julie! 00:13:07 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 179, # 29, first paragraph 00:13:54 Eleana Urrego: I love the retreat class, I was sad and happy. Thank you 00:16:24 Anthony: Hope is what sloth & despair (in the Lenten prayer of St Ephraim) want to strangle. 00:17:35 Julie: Or over analysis it 00:28:01 Tracey Fredman: what will come if I surrender? everything that is difficult for me - everyday almost seems "bad" and yet it's "very good" because I can't hide but most face what is most difficult for me. Much grace has enabled me to do what is being asked of me. thankful for the Jesus Prayer when things become so intense as they have been for me this past 5 weeks 00:29:34 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "what will come if ..." with ❤️ 00:38:35 Wayne: need to leave early tonight 00:38:58 Angela Bellamy: I had been taught for so long to rely on myself that trusting in God has been a learning curve, even fearful. Trust is difficult to develope but it seems as though every leap of faith I make, the reward is more faith; and trust grows through His grace. It's much like the tree which grows from a mustard seed. Just the smallest leap of faith grows the greatest trust. 00:44:59 Jessica McHale: What about when you have a choice to make--go this way or that way, and they are both good adn lead to God, but you are unsure which the Lord wants you to do. For example, move to another state to give in community with others of the same mindset or stay near aging family who don't practice the faith but migth need your help in the future? It's tough to know what God migth want, even if you trust Him. 00:46:53 Kevin Burke: Reacted to "What about when you …" with 👌 00:51:55 Joan Chakonas: I find it helpful to ask God to make it obvious to me His will- my thinking is so pointless, His guidance with His invisible hand never fails me 00:52:22 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "I find it helpful to..." with ❤️ 00:52:28 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "I find it helpful ..." with ❤️ 00:54:17 Elizabeth Richards: Memento mori 00:55:24 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "Memento mori" with 😞 00:59:10 Eleana Urrego: We are in a lot instant gratification that "everything is anxiety" 00:59:56 Angela Bellamy: ...be anxious for nothing, but pray about everything... That was my mantra for a little while at first. I don't remember it all now but it's a kindness. 01:08:30 Angela Bellamy: Can these examples of religious furver of the ego? How does one know the difference? 01:11:00 Ben: Anna: Tell me Father, is it possible for one that is ill and weak to follow Christ?  I mean it seems to me that the answer must be yes, but I see this example again and again in spiritual writing that sickness makes one... weak? fall off? not persevere? 01:18:39 David Swiderski, WI: IT is easy to demonstrate love and devotion when everything goes well but it can only be known when there is suffering, sacrifice and the last thread of pride is stripped away. 01:19:31 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "IT is easy to demons..." with 👍🏼 01:20:00 Janine: Wow….great class..thank you Father! 01:20:11 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "Wow….great class..th..." with ❤️ 01:20:45 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "Wow….great class...." with ❤️ 01:21:31 Angela Bellamy: Thank you, Father. 🙏 01:22:10 Jessica McHale: Thank you so much, Father. Your words are in so many ways helpful to me. Blessings and grace of God in all you do---many, many, prayers for you and your mother. 01:22:12 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you father! May God bless you, your mother and this group. 01:22:13 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:22:18 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father! 01:22:19 Bob Čihák, AZ: Thank you and bless you, Father!! 01:22:36 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "Thank you so much, F..." with ❤️ 01:22:48 Lorraine Green: Thank you!

As we come to the end of this hypothesis, the Fathers leave us with something painfully ordinary. They do not give us visions of heaven or heights of contemplation. They speak about the tongue. About when to speak. About when to remain silent. About lowering the eyes. About saying only what is necessary. It feels almost too simple. Yet they place it before us as a matter of life and death. They tell us that God is always watching. Not watching in suspicion, but watching as One who longs to dwell within us. And yet how quickly the door of the mouth is thrown open and everything inside spills out. Opinions. Explanations. Justifications. Pious thoughts. Clever remarks. Even good words spoken at the wrong time. We imagine that because something is true or orthodox or well intentioned it must be spoken. But the Fathers are ruthless here. They tell us that even good speech can disperse the soul. Saint Diadochus says that when the doors of the baths are left open, the heat escapes. So too with the soul. We labor for years to gather the mind, to kindle even a small flame of prayer, and then in a few careless conversations it dissipates. We leave a gathering inwardly empty. Not because we sinned gravely, but because we spoke much. The tragedy is not only that we lose recollection. It is that we begin to live outwardly. We become performers of thoughts. We interrupt. We insert ourselves. We fear being unnoticed. Saint Maximos unmasks this disease with precision. He says the one who interrupts reveals his love of glory. How often do we speak not from charity but from hunger. Hunger to be seen. To be affirmed. To be needed. Even in spiritual settings. Especially there. Isaiah the Anchorite brings it to the ground level. If you must speak, do so quietly. With humility. With reverence. As one ignorant. As one unworthy. Lower the face. Say little. Return quickly to silence. This is not theatrical piety. It is an interior stance. The tongue restrained becomes a sign that the passions are not ruling the heart. The Gerontikon cuts even deeper. Abba Joseph says he cannot control his tongue. The elder asks him one question. Do you find peace when you talk. No. Then why talk. There is something almost brutal in that simplicity. We speak and we lose peace. Yet we keep speaking. Abba Sisoes, a great ascetic, confesses that for thirty years he has prayed to be delivered from sins of the tongue and still he falls daily. This should sober us. If such a man trembles over his speech, what of us who speak constantly and without fear. And yet the Fathers do not romanticize silence. Abba Isaac exposes the counterfeit. There is a silence born of pride, of wanting the glory of being perceived as spiritual. A brooding silence that hides malice. A calculated silence that manipulates. This is not holiness. This is ego dressed in restraint. True silence either springs from zeal for virtue or from inward conversation with God. If it is not one of these, it will decay into self admiration. The stakes are high. If you guard your tongue, Isaac says, God will give you compunction. Compunction. The gift of seeing your own soul. The light of the mind. The joy of the Spirit. Silence becomes not emptiness but revelation. But if the tongue conquers you, you will never escape darkness. We are accustomed to thinking that sanctification comes through great works. Through ministries. Through projects. Through visible sacrifices. The Fathers insist that it may begin with something as small and humiliating as closing the mouth. Not as repression. Not as fear. But as reverence. To speak only when there is good reason. To speak because it is God’s will and not because it soothes our anxiety. To listen more than we talk. To accept being unknown. To resist the need to untie every thought that wanders into the stable of the mind. This teaching must be internalized or it will remain quaint desert wisdom. It must confront us in the car after a conversation that left us agitated. It must confront us before we send the message, before we correct someone, before we offer unsolicited counsel, before we share a clever insight. It must question us. Is this necessary. Is this born of love. Will this preserve peace. Or am I simply opening the door and letting the heat escape. All things must be touched by grace. Speech can console, heal, illumine, and reconcile. Speech can also scatter, inflame, and darken. The same tongue that blesses can wound. The same mouth that proclaims Christ can betray Him. If we do not yet have a pure heart, the Fathers say, at least have a pure mouth. It is a beginning. A humiliating beginning. A door set firmly in place. And behind that door, if we are faithful, the slow birth of compunction. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:04:48 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 356 Section E 00:09:58 Catherine Opie: I have not attended for a couple of weeks. Where are we in the text now? 00:10:21 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: https://www.philokaliaministries.org/post/philokalia-ministries-lenten-retreat-2026 00:10:51 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 356, E 00:10:59 Catherine Opie: P356 Section E 00:12:54 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: https://www.philokaliaministries.org/post/philokalia-ministries-lenten-retreat-2026 00:13:03 John ‘Jack’: Hello Father 00:13:28 Vanessa: I found the Saturday link in my junk email. I just happened to see it there. 00:13:40 Jessica McHale: Replying to "I found the Saturd..." me too 00:14:12 Rebecca Thérèse: I registered twice and only got one 00:14:40 Vanessa: If you use Gmail, sometimes it goes into the "Promotions" folder. 00:14:54 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: https://www.philokaliaministries.org/post/philokalia-ministries-lenten-retreat-2026 00:15:06 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 356, E 00:16:00 kristy: is there a way to watch the recording from saturday? 00:16:13 Beth Callaway: The Evergetinos Volumes 1 - 4: The Full Text By Nun Christina 00:16:23 Beth Callaway: Is this an appropriate text? 00:16:25 Angela Bellamy: It was mentioned there was trouble with the website and so I thought it could creat an error for the registration. 00:17:27 iPad (2)Janine: Beth..that is different translation….close but not same text. 00:23:00 Andrew Adams: Replying to "Is this an appropria..." This is the translation that we are using: https://ctosonline.org/product/the-evergetinos-a-complete-text/ 00:23:56 Myles Davidson: Arrived late. Where are we? 00:24:57 Julie: But in fairness some of the time was in the introduction so, 2 hours was great 00:25:04 maureencunningham: Wait till we get to heaven ! We will be talking  for eternity 00:25:11 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 356, E 00:25:16 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "P. 356, E" with 🙏 00:25:21 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "P. 356, E" with 👍 00:25:27 Mark South: Fr read 1sr paragragh  in E p356 00:36:21 Wayne Mackenzie: Replying to "I found the Saturday..." What was the heading in the email? 00:37:07 Angela Bellamy: Sometimes I feel exuberant to attempt silence and I feel quite remorseful when I didn't succeed in a great way, but I do my best to keep heart because James says that if you are able to control your tongue then you can control your whole body. So I know this is no small feat to accomplish and with His grace and mercy will it be achieved.  00:38:03 Forrest: Replying to "I found the Saturday..." Wayne, it came to me as "Link + PDF for Session One: The 2026 Philokalia Ministries Lenten Retreat" 00:40:22 Nypaver Clan: Father,  What do you think of the “sign of peace” during the Novus Ordo? I don’t appreciate all that socializing just before reception of Holy Communion. Some people are really put off that I don’t participate.  I don’t want to be uncharitable….. 00:41:19 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "Father,  What do you..." with 👍 00:41:29 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "Father,  What do y..." with 👍 00:44:59 Myles Davidson: The chapel I attend, there is no talking before, during or after the Liturgy. It’s beautiful! 00:45:57 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "The chapel I attend,..." with ❤️ 00:45:59 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "The chapel I atten..." with ❤️ 01:02:19 Beth Callaway: Is that what you mean by right ordering of a virtue? 01:02:40 Wayne Mackenzie: Replying to "I found the Saturday..." Thanks will go through my emails 01:05:24 Lawrence Ruggiero: Replying to "The chapel I atten..." thinking of what to say is in it self a distraction to me. 01:07:46 Forrest: The Greek makes it clear that the elder made this comment in the form of a parable: a teaching in few words. 01:08:37 Anthony: Reacted to The Greek makes it c... with "👍" 01:17:12 Angela Bellamy: Do you have to have control of the mouth to achieve inner stillness or are they in tandem? Growing together? 01:18:55 maureencunningham: Blessing I think it Wonderfull it is always a  Blessing. 01:19:37 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:19:43 Catherine Opie: God bless FR. thank you again for your time and consideration🙏🏻

Tonight in Homily 6 Saint Isaac did not merely instruct us. He set fire before us. In the first six homilies he has laid the foundations of the spiritual life with uncompromising clarity. No romance. No shortcuts. No sentimentality. If you have no works, do not speak of virtues. If you have not sweat in the arena of repentance, do not theorize about purity. Virtue without bodily toil he calls premature fruit. Stillborn. And yet what he unfolds in these paragraphs is not severity alone. It is hope so luminous that it borders on holy intoxication. Affliction suffered for Christ, he says, is more precious than sacrifice. Tears are incense. Sighs during vigil are offerings more fragrant than any liturgical perfume. The righteous cry under the weight of their frailty, and heaven bends low. The angelic orders stand close at hand. They are not distant observers. They are partakers in the sufferings of the saints. What a vision. The struggler who feels alone in the cell, alone in illness, alone in interior battle, is surrounded. The angels strengthen. They encourage. They console. There is a communion not only with the saints of the earth but with the hosts of heaven who draw near to the one who cries out in humility. This is the first movement. Deep contrition. Tears. Vigil. Labor. The long work of purification. But Isaac does not leave us in mourning. He telescopes the whole journey. Rightly directed labors and humility make a man “a god upon the earth.” Faith and mercy speed him toward limpid purity. And then something changes. Fervor begins to burn. Contrition and fervor cannot dwell together indefinitely. Mourning gives way to fire. Wine has been given for gladness, he says, and fervor for the rejoicing of the soul. The word of God warms the understanding. The one inflamed by hope is ravished by meditations of the age to come. Isaac dares to speak of spiritual drunkenness. Not the stupor of the world, but intoxication with hope. The soul so seized by the promise of God that it becomes unconscious of affliction. Not because suffering disappears, but because the heart is fixed elsewhere. The gaze has shifted. The future age presses upon the present. The Beloved draws near. This is not fantasy. It comes, Isaac says, “in the very beginning of the way” for those who have labored long in purification and who walk with simplicity and faith. And here he gives us one of the most liberating images of the night. Those who hasten onward with hope do not examine the perils of the road. They do not stand calculating every gorge and precipice. They do not sit on the doorstep of their house, forever deliberating, forever preparing, forever fearing. They go. Only after crossing the sea do they look back and give thanks for dangers they never saw. God protected them from unseen obstacles. He led them over crags and through ravines while they were fixed on Him. Hope keeps the gaze steady. Rumination keeps the soul seated at the threshold. Isaac is not advocating recklessness. He is exposing the paralysis of excessive self-consciousness in the spiritual life. The one who constantly measures, analyzes, anticipates every fall, often never sets out. But the one who loves God, who girds his loins with simplicity, who meets the sea of afflictions without turning his back, finds the promised haven. This is the arc of the homily. From sweat to sweetness. From tears to intoxication. From contrition to fervor. From trembling to exultation. And all of it rests on hope. Hope that Christ Himself guards the path. Hope that angels stand near. Hope that affliction is not wasted. Hope that beyond the sea there is a haven already prepared. Isaac places before us not merely discipline, but joy. Not merely purification, but intimacy. Not merely endurance, but ravishment in the meditations of the age to come. The call tonight is clear. Do not speak of virtue. Live it. Do not fear affliction. Meet it. Do not sit on the threshold. Set out. Do not ruminate on precipices. Fix your gaze on Christ. And as we walk, we will discover that we are not walking alone. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:03:11 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 177 bottom of the page 00:03:34 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: https://www.philokaliaministries.org/post/philokalia-ministries-lenten-retreat-2026 00:42:54 Andrew Adams: Thank you! 00:50:08 Jessica McHale: When I first went to a Greek Orthodox liturfy simply for the experience, a parishoner explained to me that the orthodox east emphaises the Ressurectoin (salvation from it) and the west emphasises the Crucifixion (and salvation from it). It was helpful to understand the diffeent. I am very drawn to a Melkite or Byzantine liturgy for Sundays ( I can do a Novus Ordo during the week but it seems Sundays need more ;) 00:52:18 Jessica McHale: Romano Guardini, Meditations Before Mass: https://sophiainstitute.com/product/meditations-before-mass/?srsltid=AfmBOop770BpNWVqK_3cc04pvR2LfL7ItYtkWe5gpFPXJb3opcfsIg4i 00:55:50 Jesssica Imanaka: My daughter had also commented on the chanting. Listening to you, I just recalled that the chanting was a key dimension of her experience. I think the active participation is also critical for her/us. 00:56:38 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "Romano Guardini, Med..." with ❤️ 01:03:12 Anthony: Hope. This is why it can be harmful to focus so much on scandal, demons, possession and exorcists.  That spiritual environment tried to strangle Hope. 01:03:47 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "Hope. This is why ..." with 👍 01:03:56 Andrew Adams: Reacted to "Hope. This is why it..." with 👍 01:07:09 Lee Graham: Reacted to "Hope. This is why it…" with 👍 01:10:45 Joan Chakonas: I see the answers to many of my prayers in retrospect.  He is always working  and helping. 01:11:50 Elizabeth Richards: Reacted to "I see the answers to…" with ❤️ 01:12:36 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father! 01:12:38 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:12:41 Bob Čihák, AZ: Bless you Father!! 01:12:44 Jessica McHale: Thank Isaac and thank you, Father! Amen! Many prayers! 01:12:45 Joan Chakonas: Thank you Father!!! 01:12:46 jonathan: Night Father, God bless

The fathers did not endure silence. They loved it. This is the difference between a man who is forcing himself to be quiet and a man who has discovered God. One clenches his teeth and calls it discipline. The other falls silent because he has found Someone worth listening to. Abba Or never lied, never cursed, never spoke unnecessarily. Not because he was following rules. Because he had seen the damage words do when they are born from ego. He had watched how speech leaks the life out of the soul. How it dissipates grace. How it feeds the illusion that we exist by asserting ourselves. Every unnecessary word strengthens the false self. Every unnecessary word delays repentance. Every unnecessary word postpones intimacy. The fathers were not minimalists. They were realists. They had learned that most of what we say does not come from truth but from anxiety. We speak to control. We speak to secure ourselves. We speak to make sure we exist in the minds of others. We are afraid to disappear. Silence terrifies the ego because silence exposes that we do not sustain ourselves. God does. ⸻ St Ephraim says that he who speaks much multiplies quarrels and hatred. This is not moralism. This is anatomy. Words inflame the passions. Words solidify judgment. Words give form to resentment that would otherwise dissolve in the presence of God. A garden without a fence is trampled. A soul without silence is plundered. Every idle conversation opens the gate to distraction. Every irrelevant word invites the demon of listlessness. Antiochos names this with terrifying clarity. Loquacity does not merely waste time. It hands the mind over to the enemy. Because God is not found in noise. God is found where nothing of the ego remains to obscure Him. This is why silence is not empty. Silence is full. It is full of Presence. It is full of Light. It is full of a Word that cannot be manufactured by human thought. St Isaac the Syrian says that silence is the mystery of the age to come. Words belong to this age. Silence belongs to eternity. Because in eternity, God is not explained. He is known. Not through concepts. Through union. ⸻ When the fathers entered silence, they did not enter absence. They entered encounter. They discovered that beneath the constant internal narration of the mind there was Another Voice. A Voice that did not shout. A Voice that did not argue. A Voice that did not flatter or condemn. A Voice equal to God Himself. Because it was God Himself. The Logos. The Word through whom all things were made. This Word does not force Himself upon us. He waits. He waits for the noise to stop. He waits for the ego to weaken. He waits for the endless commentary to exhaust itself. He waits for the man to become poor enough to listen. And when He speaks, He does not merely inform. He creates. His Word heals what sin has disfigured. His Word restores what pride has shattered. His Word brings into existence a new heart. This is why the fathers guarded silence with ferocity. They were protecting the place where God is born in the soul. ⸻ Antiochos says that those who possess the Holy Spirit do not speak when they wish but when moved by the Spirit. This is freedom. Not the freedom to speak. The freedom to remain silent. The ego must speak to survive. The Spirit does not. The ego is restless. The Spirit is still. The ego needs witnesses. The Spirit is its own witness. This is why the saints speak few words. Not because they have nothing to say. But because they see the cost of speech. They know that every word must pass through fire. They have seen the devastation caused by words spoken without God. They have seen how words born from self obscure the Word who gives life. So they wait. They remain in silence until speech itself becomes obedience. Until speech is no longer self-expression but revelation. ⸻ We resist this silence because it feels like death. And it is death. It is the death of the self that must assert, explain, defend, and secure itself. It is the death of the self that believes it exists by speaking. In silence, this self collapses. And something else begins to appear. Something quiet. Something uncreated. Something that does not depend on being seen or heard. Christ Himself begins to live where the false self once ruled. This is why silence is not endured. It is loved. Because in silence we discover that we were never sustained by our words. We were sustained by Him. And when every unnecessary word falls away, when every inner argument dissolves, when every effort to secure ourselves finally collapses, there remains only this: God speaking His Word in the depths of the heart. And this Word is life. And this Word is light. And this Word is love. And this Word is enough. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:03:08 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: https://www.philokaliaministries.org/post/philokalia-ministries-lenten-retreat-2026 00:03:37 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: https://www.youtube.com/@philokaliaministries/videos 00:04:06 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 355 number 11 00:10:00 Janine: Father…still sick..but here…thank you for prayers 00:12:40 Mary and Al: Albert 00:16:30 Andrew Adams: Will the Lenten retread be on the podcast feed? 00:47:12 Jessica McHale: Interesting---I discerned contemplative monastic life at two different monasteries. In both experiences, the nuns were too social for me. They spoke during two meals during the day, and most of the talk was politics. Since I was discerning, I imagine they wanted my opinion on political topics to see if I would "fit in" with the community. They let me know that socialization and speaaking was part of commnity life. It just wasn't for me. It is hard to find a "community" tha understands the importance of silence. For me, silence is essential. It's a prayerful existence centered on God. 00:47:37 Maureen Cunningham: If someone is quiet , the mind can be  in constant thought. How  do you combine the silence and. Empty out the mind 00:51:22 Erick Chastain: Clear creek monks didn't know who Trump was not too long ago (after he ran for president) 01:00:49 John ‘Jack’: Silence ultimately brought me back to the Church.  About 15 years ago my wife asked what I wanted for a birthday gift? After listening to an elderly freind speak so lovingly of her time spent at the Abbey of the Genesee, I decided to ask for a  weekend retreat. She gave it to me, best gift ever. The first evening I thought I was  going to lose my mind. I’ve grown to love silence! 01:01:21 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "Silence ultimately..." with ❤️ 01:02:04 Carol Nypaver: Reacted to "Silence ultimately b..." with 👍 01:04:33 John ‘Jack’: That’s where I  was! 01:05:16 John ‘Jack’: Closer to 20 monks now 01:06:13 John ‘Jack’: No it was Kathee when I started. 01:19:28 Danny Moulton (Lakeside, Ohio): My wife and I are approaching our 48th anniversary. I find there are two kinds of silence: that which erodes relationship and that which magnifies gratitude. 01:19:49 Carol Nypaver: Reacted to "My wife and I are ap..." with ❤️ 01:21:06 Erick Chastain: I have found it easier to be silent when there is someone in my heart to talk with. To love. To truly pray rather than talk at God. 01:21:47 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "I have found it ea..." with ❤️ 01:22:58 Maureen Cunningham: Thank you Blessing 01:23:42 Joan Chakonas: Thank you Father 01:24:17 Jessica McHale: Thank you!!! Always consoling to hear you and the Desert Fathers! Many, many, many prayers! 01:24:20 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:24:22 Joan Chakonas: Reacted to "Thank you!!! Always …" with ❤️ 01:24:29 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father! 01:24:30 Jennifer Dantchev: Thank you! 01:24:39 Sheila Applegate: Night! Thanks!  

St. Isaac does not flatter us. He does not tell us that the ascetic life is noble. He tells us it burns. He does not tell us it is peaceful. He tells us it wounds. He does not tell us it feels like fulfillment. He tells us it feels like loss. Because what stands at the heart of the ascetic life is not discipline. It is death. Not the death of the body, but the death of the self that has lived for itself. And until that self begins to die, the soul remains cold. The modern man wants illumination without humiliation. He wants consolation without affliction. He wants joy without tears. He wants Christ without crucifixion. But St. Isaac tells us plainly. The sign that the soul is drawing near to life is not comfort. It is fire. Your heart is aflame both day and night. This fire does not come from effort. It comes from surrender. It comes when a man has ceased defending himself. It comes when he has ceased preserving his image. It comes when he has ceased negotiating with God. He stands stripped of illusions. He sees his poverty. He sees his weakness. He sees that he has nothing. And this is where grace begins. Because God does not fill what is full. He fills what has been emptied. The Lord says through the prophet Isaiah I dwell in the high and holy place, and also with him who is of a contrite and humble spirit, to revive the spirit of the humble and to revive the heart of the contrite. The fathers knew this. Abba Poemen said The man who understands his sins is greater than the man who raises the dead. Because the one who raises the dead may still live for himself. But the one who sees his sins has begun to die. And it is this death that gives birth to tears. St. Isaac says that tears join themselves to every work. Not because the man is trying to weep. But because he can no longer protect himself from reality. He sees God. He sees himself. He sees the distance between them. And he weeps. These tears are not weakness. They are truth. They are the breaking of the heart that has lived in false strength. King David understood this when he said My sacrifice is a contrite spirit. A humbled and contrite heart you will not spurn. God does not desire your accomplishments. He desires your brokenness. Because brokenness is the door through which He enters. This is why St. Isaac says that afflictions suffered for the Lord are more precious than every offering. Because affliction destroys the illusion that you are alive apart from God. Affliction reveals the truth. That you are dust. That you are weak. That you cannot save yourself. And the ego cannot survive this revelation. This is why affliction is feared. Not because it harms us. But because it exposes us. The Apostle Paul understood this mystery when he said We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed. Perplexed, but not driven to despair. Struck down, but not destroyed. Always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. Affliction carries death into the false self. So that life may be born in the true self. And this is where the paradox appears. Because the man who embraces affliction does not become miserable. He becomes free. St. Isaac says that when this fire is born in the soul, the whole world becomes ashes. Not because the world is hated. But because it no longer enslaves him. He no longer needs it to feel alive. He no longer needs recognition. He no longer needs control. He no longer needs to preserve himself. Because he has found something greater. He has found Christ. And Christ becomes his life. St. Paul says I count all things as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. This is not poetry. This is the testimony of a man who has passed through affliction into freedom. Because when the false life dies, the true life appears. And this life cannot be taken. This is the joy that St. Isaac speaks of. Not emotional happiness. But the unshakable certainty that Christ has become your life. This joy is born in tears. It is born in humiliation. It is born in affliction. It is born when the man ceases running from the cross. Christ did not say Avoid suffering. He said Take up your cross and follow me. Because the cross is not the end. It is the door. On the other side of affliction stands resurrection. On the other side of humiliation stands freedom. On the other side of tears stands joy. This is why St. Isaac warns us. If the fire grows cold, woe to you. Because the greatest tragedy is not suffering. It is returning to sleep. It is returning to self protection. It is returning to the illusion that you can live apart from God. The ascetic life is not about becoming strong. It is about becoming defenseless before God. It is about allowing Him to strip away everything false. It is about allowing Him to destroy what cannot live. So that what is eternal may appear. And when this happens, the man no longer fears affliction. Because he has seen what it produces. He has seen the fire. He has tasted the tears. He has known the joy that cannot be taken. And he understands at last the words of Christ Your sorrow will turn into joy. Not because suffering disappears. But because Christ has become your life. And nothing can take Him away. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:00:58 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 177 paragraph 24 00:07:15 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 177 paragraph 24 00:07:36 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Ascetic life begins where excuses die When a man stops speaking about God and begins to suffer for Him Humility takes root so deeply that tear flow unceasingly Heart burns without knowing why When grace comes the battle grows more dangerous - soul tempted to become prudent. Where most turn back Ascetic life requires a kind of violence against instinct to survive 00:16:15 Jesssica Imanaka: Looks I can attend these retreats since they don't start until the 21st. 00:20:28 Angela Bellamy: The devil does not only tempt with sin — he tempts with carefulness. I remember that from the "Unseen warfare" 00:30:50 Sr Barbara Jean Mihalchick: Baptism of the Holy Spirit? 00:31:58 Ryan Ngeve: Father with his emphasis on tears, does that mean a lack of tears entails the lack of working of the Holy Spirit 00:32:00 Angela Bellamy: Does such a thing that has happened that the unemotional/tenderness tears come... Would "carefulness take it away before time" 00:36:24 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "Does such a thing th..." with ❤️ 00:39:24 Angela Bellamy: But with certainty one can assume that they are the one who pulled away, not Him? So there can be a drawing near again...? 00:46:03 Holly Hecker: it would appear that consolations at these times could be sort of dangerous - do we want to go back or go forward 00:46:09 David Swiderski, WI: I have noticed when repentance seems distant my mind turns towards pride forgetting being freed from it is not by me but by grace of something. When I turn back to repentance I find myself like Abba moses walking around with a hole in a bag of sand and more open to others struggles 00:50:21 John ‘Jack’: Since reading the fathers, I’ve come to realize that I am only responsible for my own salvation, it seems like our culture has convinced us that we are somehow responsible for others salvation. Since I’ve been focused on this I’ve found my “witness” if you will has become far less burdensome. 00:54:35 Joan Chakonas: My prayers are usually in context of afflictions (my judgmentalism, my ridicule, my thoughts in general from living my day )and asking for Gods help and guidance.  When I am at peace I am not actively petitioning God for abstract things - I am trying to repent all the time and peace is what I get when I get His message. 00:55:09 David Swiderski, WI: Sin is followed by shame, Repentance is followed by boldness- St. John Chrysotom 00:56:10 Joan Chakonas: I just say thank you God over and over when I get to peace. 00:56:26 John ‘Jack’: Perfectly stated, Father thank you. 00:56:53 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "I just say thank you..." with ❤️ 01:01:18 Anthony: Preach Father! I saw the Faith in Southern Italy was so different in its tone than what I've seen as an American Catholic. 01:01:41 Myles Davidson: A word for sorrowful joy seems like a word we lack in English (bittersweet is probably the closest). Is this the Greek word you mean Father? χαρμολύπη (charmolýpi)… pronounced as khar-mo-LEE-pee 01:02:05 Ben: Anna; This conversation reminds me of something Jesus said, "This is my commandment that you love one another as I have loved you." 01:02:45 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "Anna; This conversat..." with ❤️ 01:02:57 David Swiderski, WI: Reacted to "Anna; This conversat..." with ❤️ 01:05:51 Angela Bellamy: I'm not really sure why this conversation reminds me of Malachi. 😅 01:06:20 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "I just say thank you..." with ❤️ 01:09:25 John ‘Jack’: Heaven is now. ❤️ 01:09:47 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "Preach Father! I saw..." with 👍 01:12:07 Ben: Replying to "A word for sorrowful..." What about "penthos"? 01:19:19 Anthony: In our groups Carol used to mention Olivier Clement, Song of Tears, that God meets us in our private hells. He descends down there with us. 01:20:15 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "In our groups Carol ..." with ❤️ 01:20:54 Jesssica Imanaka: and also to have confidence that God is with others in their Hells 01:21:10 Angela Bellamy: I was surprised to read that in Psalms 139. I can't understand what I've been taught in my protestant upbringing anymore. 01:21:18 Anthony: The devils are like wolves, isolating the wounded and weak, wanting to devour them. 01:21:30 Anthony: Reacted to I was surprised to r... with "❤️" 01:23:37 Jessica McHale: it's one of the hardest things I've had to do for priests--to be with them spiritually in the ugliness of sin--but doing it has shown me the mercy God has had one me for all MY sins too. It's hard. But He's walked with me though it all and let me know it too. Some of the things He's shown me I never want to see again--the real spiritual battle we are all in. It's scary. 01:25:28 Jesssica Imanaka: Calvinism 01:26:29 Angela Bellamy: Thank you Father. 01:26:43 John ‘Jack’: Always 01:27:25 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:27:34 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you Father may God bless you and your mother and this group. 01:27:50 Jessica McHale: Amen! Many prayers for you all! I love this group! Thank you, Father! 01:28:14 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You Blessing 01:28:21 cameron: Thank you Father!

St. Isaac the Syrian is ruthless here because he is protecting us from despair on one side and fantasy on the other. Most of us live precisely in the state he describes. We have repented. We have turned away from obvious sins. We pray. We read. We fast. And yet our prayer feels crowded. Memories intrude. Images multiply. The heart is pulled back into itself again and again. This is not a sign that repentance was false. It is the normal condition of an unfledged mind. Isaac is teaching us not to panic when the mind cannot yet fly. At this stage virtues are still heavy. They belong to effort. They restrain the mind but they do not yet lift it. We imagine that distraction means failure and that freedom should come quickly. Isaac says no. Freedom has an atmosphere. The mind must slowly learn the air in which it will one day remain. Until then it hops. And hopping is not sin. It is training. The mistake is trying to force flight. When we strain to escape images we only multiply them. When we analyze distraction we deepen self consciousness. When we demand interior stillness before humility has done its work we turn prayer into a project. Isaac quietly refuses all of this. He tells us to remain faithful to outward obedience without expecting inward vision yet. What overcomes these tendencies is not technique but endurance in smallness. We continue to pray even when prayer feels poor. We do not chase experiences. We accept that God is served through visible things for a long time. And we allow the Lord to teach us the inner meaning of what we already practice. Slowly virtues become transparent. They stop drawing attention to themselves. They begin to point beyond themselves. Humility is the hinge. Not self accusation. Not interior commentary. Humility is staying low enough that God can lean toward us. The humble man does not try to send his prayer upward. He speaks it close. Like a word placed directly into the ear of God. Lord You will enlighten my darkness. This is what readers of Philokalia Ministries need to hold on to. If your prayer feels earthbound do not abandon it. If your mind is crowded do not fight it violently. If your virtues feel external do not despise them. You are not failing. You are growing feathers. Flight comes later. First comes patience. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:06:24 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 176, # 21, second paragraph 00:13:26 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 176, # 21, second paragraph 00:15:11 Angela Bellamy: congratulations Father 😆 00:18:25 Jonathan Grobler: I think it's an amazing technology, it just needs to be used properly 00:31:19 Ryan Ngeve: Father how does watchfulness (nepsis) guard us against such thoughts and memories even when watchfulness seems futile 00:32:18 Jesssica Imanaka: I've heard about a lot of projections that happen in monasteries... Memory can be tricky because sometimes someone else inhabits the role of the prior, forgotten experience as when, for example father issues get projected onto the Abbot. 00:33:05 Anthony: It sounds like ascetic life is like having purgatory now. It is purgation. It is being "helpless.". The difference is that ascetic life is voluntary while a person is in this state of existence. 00:41:56 Angela Bellamy: Father, please forgive the digression, Are there resources from the Fathers that speak about holy, disciplined forms of mortification—clearly distinguished from self-punishment—especially for passions that don’t present themselves clearly in the mind? I’m thinking of struggles that are more hidden, where the passion is known more by its fruit than by an obvious thought, and where simple watchfulness doesn’t immediately reveal the root. 00:45:36 David Swiderski, WI: This makes me think of a quote from Meister Eckhart who I think is misunderstood as a mystic. Even though he is from the west some of his thoughts really align with the desert father-“The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that won't let go of your life: your memories, your attachments. They burn them all away, but they're not punishing you, they're freeing your soul. If you're frightened of dying and you're holding on, you'll see devils tearing your life away. If you've made your peace, then the devils are really angels freeing you from the earth.” 00:47:46 Jessica McHale: a lot of people think Ash Wed is a holy day of obligation but it's not 00:50:22 Anthony: Is it appropriate now to talk about the difference between monks and friars? The Franciscan friars I met don't appear to have this intense psychological focus that monks have. 00:50:49 Anna: What book did he say? 00:51:19 Jessica McHale: Replying to "What book did he s..." Philikalia....vol 1 00:52:42 Ben: Alphonse & Rachel Goetmann - The Prayer of Jesus? 00:53:02 John ‘Jack’: Reminds me of the recorded letter from one of GK Chesterton’s freinds (the priest who inspired Father Brown I believe) said to him “it’s about time you came in off the porch” in regards to Chesteton’s  conversion to the Catholic faith. 00:54:37 Larry Ruggiero: The Way of the Ascetics 00:54:52 David Swiderski, WI: A really good summary of the eight evil thoughts is St. Ephraim in the spiritual psalter #117 Life's Lessons-Eight Evil Thoughts small enough to carry with you. 00:55:00 Larry Ruggiero: By Tito Colliander 01:01:56 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "StEphraimEightEvilThoughts.pdf" with 👍 01:02:03 Nypaver Clan: Father,  Where can one go in the Pittsburgh area for a vow of silence retreat? A place one can go for a weekend just to be “alone with God”? 01:02:06 Jesssica Imanaka: Replying to "A really good summar..." I recently bought that book at my local Orthodox Monastery! 01:02:57 Maureen Cunningham: Berryville Va Holy Abbey is silent retreat 01:03:09 Anthony: Replying to "Father,  Where can o..."   Is there a Madonna House in Pittsburgh? 01:03:33 Maureen Cunningham: It was Saint Benedict order 01:06:31 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "Berryville Va Holy A..." with ❤️ 01:07:35 Mark South: the last sentence in paragragh 22 - would this be the secrete of watchfulness? 01:12:48 Sr Barbara Jean Mihalchick: Two other retreat places come to mind.  Each  one has a separate building where one can be more alone - St. Emma's Benedictine Sisters' Monastery in Greensburg and the Ark and the Dove near North Park in Pgh. 01:13:17 Nypaver Clan: Replying to "Two other retreat pl..." Thank you, Sister! 01:13:29 Anthony: Miss June, same with me! 01:14:36 Jesssica Imanaka: Father, another digression, but would you consider doing a group on one of Archimandrite Zacharias Zacharou's books? 01:15:19 Elizabeth Richards: Reacted to "Father, another digr..." with ❤️ 01:15:22 Anna: All of them 😂 01:15:28 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "Father, another digr..." with 👍 01:15:45 Jessica McHale: yes! 01:15:50 Elizabeth Richards: This year??? 01:15:53 Kate: Yes please! 01:15:58 Jesssica Imanaka: We need time to order those books from Essex. 01:16:47 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you Father may God bless you and your mother and your Dad on his birthday! 01:16:50 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:16:56 John Burmeister: thanks 01:17:08 John ‘Jack’: Thank you Father. 01:17:12 Jesssica Imanaka: Thank you! 01:17:12 Joan Chakonas: The fastest hour of my day, again 01:17:17 Kevin Burke: Replying to "Two other retreat pl…" Thank You Father! These sessions are so vital to my spiritual growth! 01:17:31 Janine: Thank you Father 01:17:34 Elizabeth Richards: Blessing- thank you! 01:17:38 Jessica McHale: thank you!

The Fathers do not treat speech as a social matter. They treat it as a matter of life and death. Because speech reveals what the heart lives from. A man may fast and remain proud. He may pray and remain full of illusion. He may withdraw outwardly and still remain inhabited by noise. But when he speaks, the truth emerges. The tongue betrays what the heart serves. Christ says with terrifying simplicity, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” Matthew 12:34 He does not say the mouth creates. He says the mouth reveals. Speech is the manifestation of inner condition. The Evergetinos preserves the fierce sobriety of the Fathers on this point because they knew that speech is not neutral. Speech either dissipates the heart or gathers it into God. Abba Arsenius fled from men not because he hated them but because he feared what his own mouth might do. He had been formed in the courts of emperors. He knew the seduction of words. He knew how easily speech strengthens the illusion of the self. He heard a voice saying, “Flee, be silent, pray always.” Not because silence is virtuous in itself, but because silence exposes the poverty of the heart. When a man falls silent, he encounters himself. He encounters the anxiety that drives speech. The need to affirm himself. The need to be seen. The need to exist in the minds of others. Speech often becomes the way the ego sustains its continuity. Each word reinforces the illusion that the self is real, stable, necessary. This is why idle speech is so dangerous. Not because the words themselves are always evil, but because they feed the false center. St. John Climacus writes that talkativeness is the throne of vainglory, the sign of ignorance, the doorway of slander, and the cooling of compunction. Every unnecessary word strengthens forgetfulness of God. Not dramatically. Quietly. Almost imperceptibly. The heart that was once gathered becomes scattered. The attention that was once turned inward toward repentance becomes turned outward toward managing impressions. A man begins by speaking carelessly. He ends by living carelessly. The Evergetinos recounts how the elders guarded their speech with ferocity. Not because they had nothing to say, but because they feared losing the presence of God. They understood that the more a man speaks, the more he lives outside himself. And the more he lives outside himself, the more he forgets God. Abba Poemen said, “If a man remembers that he must give an account of every idle word, he will choose silence.” Not because silence is safer socially. Because silence is safer spiritually. Christ Himself says, “For every idle word men speak, they will give account on the day of judgment.” Matthew 12:36 Every idle word. This is not exaggeration. It is revelation. Because every idle word strengthens a life lived apart from God. Speech gives substance to illusion. It allows the ego to feel real. To feel present. To feel established. This is why men fear silence. Silence removes reinforcement. Silence reveals instability. Silence reveals dependency. Silence reveals that without constant affirmation, the ego begins to tremble. The Fathers did not seek silence as technique. They sought silence as truth. In silence, a man begins to see that he does not yet exist in God. He exists in the reflection of himself in the minds of others. Speech sustains that reflection. Silence destroys it. This destruction feels like death. Because something is dying. The false self that lives from recognition. The Evergetinos shows us elders who would rather appear foolish than speak unnecessarily. Who would rather remain misunderstood than protect themselves with words. Because they had discovered something terrible and liberating. Words cannot save the soul. Only God can save the soul. And God is found not in noise, but in poverty. St. Isaac the Syrian writes that the man who has come to know himself guards his tongue as one standing before fire. Because he knows how easily the heart can be emptied of grace. Speech is not evil. But uncontrolled speech reveals an uncontrolled heart. The man who speaks constantly has not yet learned to stand before God. Because the man who stands before God begins to see himself truthfully. And seeing himself truthfully, he loses the need to speak. Not because he despises others. Because he no longer needs to sustain himself. His life begins to be hidden with Christ in God. And the tongue, once restless and hungry, becomes quiet. Not forced into silence. But stilled by the presence of God. This is the path the Fathers walked. They did not seek eloquence. They sought reality. And reality begins when the mouth stops protecting the self and the heart begins to stand naked before God. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:02:32 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 354 para 4 00:03:51 Angela Bellamy: I apologize for my mic. I didn't realize it had activated. 00:04:01 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "I apologize for my m..." with 👍 00:10:47 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Philokaliaministries.org 00:12:27 Angela Bellamy: https://www.philokaliaministries.org/post/when-the-desert-fathers-saw-snow 00:12:30 Jessica McHale: City a Desert videos are GREAT! 00:13:29 Angela Bellamy: I love this, Father:He immediately cried out, “Abba, it burns!” Abba Moses, who was passing by, said, “Everything burns when you are not used to the truth.” 00:13:46 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "He immediately cried..." with 👍 00:14:02 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 354, 4 00:21:15 Anthony: Silly chatter is a problem. But are these monks being legalist or fundamentalist about the teaching of Jesus that we will be judged for every word? Or is their teachings mostly for the "trade" of being a monk? 00:28:58 Angela Bellamy: The bible says much about speech. Not just in James but various places. Some are to not take council with the scornful (the bitter or angry) and not to complain. It says even to not give advice as well as gossip and slander. I have been struggling for the good portion of a year and still I struggle and it is always at niceties, or pleasantries that I get sucked into idle words. I wish they told us how, like a "life hack" or "Ted Talk" 😅 00:38:51 Anna: Jesus prayer 300 knot rope helps me get through conversations with less words. 00:42:04 Anthony: I don't recall Captain Kirk getting, say, syphilis..... 00:42:44 Anthony: Pushing boundaries on TV, but not paying costs. 00:43:52 John ‘Jack’: I’ve often said A I  is only as smart as the most ignorant person on the internet… that’s scary! 00:46:05 Bob Čihák, AZ: I've been saying that AI doesn't stand a chance against Genuine Stupidity. Even stupid people are more creative than computers. 00:48:47 Anthony: Also AI teachings supposedly from the Pope 00:53:49 Angela Bellamy: I am not sure if it has come up yet but I've noticed that when a problem has been resolved inside, if I complain again, I'm again rekindled to having issue. I think this is how I understand it being so important to not speak unnecessarily. 00:55:27 Anna: Can you explain your thoughts on social posting and it being consumerism so not to post. 00:58:07 Forrest: From the wiktionary entry, the Greek word for "Circular" in this passage is στρογγυλὸς, which could be also translated as "pithy" or "terse". Some etymologists think the root came from "droplet", since they are round. 01:04:01 Anna: Thank you Fr Charbel 01:11:23 Jessica McHale: It's been enlightening for me -- expecially about "commercializing" our time with God. Thank you. 01:11:53 Angela Bellamy: https://www.philokaliaministries.org/post/philokalia-ministries-lenten-retreat-2026 01:12:21 Joan Chakonas: Where did the hour go??  These sessions are so fast. 01:13:04 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:13:18 Angela Bellamy: 🙏 01:13:22 Kevin Burke: Thank you Father!

We speak because we are afraid to be still. We speak because silence exposes us. We speak because when the mouth closes the heart begins to make noise and that noise is often unbearable. The Fathers knew this long before psychology gave it names. They knew that speech is not neutral. It is not just communication. It is an outflow of what is ruling the inner world. Every word carries the weight of the heart behind it. This is why Abba Pambo could stand at death and say that he had not repented of a single word and yet also say that he had not even begun to serve God. He knew what speech costs. He knew how easily a careless phrase can wound another, harden the self or invite the demons into the space between people. He did not trust his own clarity. He waited. He let months pass rather than speak a word that was not born from God. That kind of restraint feels almost inhuman to us. We live in a world that rewards immediacy. We are trained to answer quickly, react quickly, express quickly, post quickly, correct quickly. But speed is not truth. Speed is often panic wearing a clever face. The monk who waits to speak is not slow. He is standing before God inside himself. He is listening for something that is not his own. The Elder says that a man can be silent with his lips and loud with his heart. That is the most damning line in this whole section. You can say nothing and still be screaming. You can be quiet and still be condemning everyone around you. You can appear peaceful while your mind is devouring your brothers. Another man can speak all day and yet remain silent because he refuses to let his words become weapons, judgments or self display. Silence is not a style. It is a spiritual state. Idle talk is not mostly obscene or stupid. It is unnecessary. It is speech that does not serve salvation. It is talk that fills the space so we do not have to face what is happening inside. We speak about bodies and opinions and events and annoyances and plans because these are safer than the truth of our hearts. The moment we speak about what is good we discover how quickly evil slips in. Pride sneaks into holy words. Comparison sneaks into spiritual conversation. The self sneaks into everything. This is why the Elder answers the brother who wants a word to be saved with something that sounds almost trivial. Do not hasten to speak before you consider what you are going to say. That is not etiquette. That is warfare. To pause before speaking is to interrupt the automatic rule of the ego. It is to refuse to let the tongue be driven by irritation, hunger for recognition or the need to be right. It is to create a small space where God might enter. Most of what we say is not meant to help anyone. It is meant to regulate ourselves. We speak to soothe anxiety. We speak to discharge frustration. We speak to draw attention. We speak to feel real. We speak to avoid the ache of not being in control. The mouth becomes a narcotic. The more we use it the less we notice how enslaved we are to it. This is why the Fathers are so severe. They are not moralizing. They are diagnosing a sickness. The soul that cannot keep watch over its words cannot keep watch over its thoughts. The heart that pours itself out through constant speech cannot remain gathered before God. It leaks. It disperses. It becomes weak. The tragedy is that we confuse expression with honesty. We think that saying what we feel is the same as bringing it to God. It is not. Most of the time it just feeds the feeling. It strengthens the pattern. It builds a little kingdom around the self. We call it authenticity but it is often captivity. The monk learns slowly and painfully that every word either bends him toward God or bends him toward himself. There is no neutral speech. Either it deepens prayer or it corrodes it. Either it builds communion or it sows division. Either it creates space for grace or it fills the room with ego. This is why the saint waits. This is why the Elder warns. This is why the Fathers tremble before idle talk. They have seen what words do to the heart. They have watched souls unravel because the mouth was never taught to kneel. To learn silence is not to become mute. It is to become true. It is to let God have the first and last word inside you. And until that happens every sentence we speak is a small gamble with our soul. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:00:31 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 353 00:01:32 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Hypothesis XLVII page 353 concerning speech and silence 00:06:10 Catherine Opie: Without mosquitoes we would have no frogs or bats 00:11:38 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 353 A Hypothesis 47 00:12:10 Catherine Opie: Reacted to "P. 353 A Hypothesis ..." with 👍🏻 00:13:55 Angela Bellamy: twice this winter we had -40 00:14:02 Catherine Opie: Is that Farenheit 00:14:08 Angela Bellamy: without windchill. 00:14:21 Angela Bellamy: yes. so chilly! 00:14:22 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 353 A Hypothesis 47 00:17:03 Myles Davidson: Replying to "Is that Farenheit" yes 00:18:35 Una’s iPhone: And some of us get out of joint if we don’t get an immediate reply to a text 00:21:17 Anna: Is anyone else having the volume drop off and return? 00:21:32 Angela Bellamy: not me 00:21:35 Andrew Adams: Replying to "Is anyone else havin..." It’s fine for me 00:22:32 Bob Čihák, AZ: Replying to "Is anyone else havin..." A little, until I turned off my VPN. 00:24:40 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 353 B 00:24:57 Jonathan Grobler: Loose lips sink ships, true for the faith also. 00:25:45 Bob Čihák, AZ: This paradox is striking - and TRUE! 00:30:40 Anna: How does one handle conversations where there's something that comes up that conflicts with your Catholic principles to keep without sinful compromising through silence or through words? 00:33:09 Angela Bellamy: I struggle with the subject of idle talk because I seem to receive conflicting guidance. On one hand, I am warned against silence as a kind of self-erasure or avoidance. On the other hand, when I do speak, the condition of my heart is often revealed more clearly, which helps me recognize where repentance is actually needed. From a Christian perspective, I’m unsure how to understand the idea of “self-erasure.” Silence itself does not seem inherently unhealthy to me. Yet I also wonder: how can one maintain silence truthfully when there is still inner sickness at work? Is silence meant to conceal disorder until healing comes, or to accompany repentance as it unfolds? 00:37:23 Anna: With Eastern journaling what's the best way to journal as an Eastern Catholic? 00:39:21 John ‘Jack’: I very often want to “chat” or confide in someone about a situation I find myself going though, but I’ve learned I can’t, as the other party CANNOT  necessarily see things from my personal point of view.    Many years ago Fr John Eudes Bambager at the Abbey of the Genesee told me “Ultimately it’s just you and God”. That one simple statement brings me more peace than nearly any other council I’ve ever received, it gives me peace. 00:39:42 Anna: Reacted to P. 353 A Hypothesis ... with "👍🏻" 00:39:54 Anna: Reacted to P. 353 A Hypothesis ... with "🎉" 00:46:59 Angela Bellamy: Please forgive me Father, but I will venture to ask you: How should we speak with people who are sick, destitute, or deeply burdened when there is nothing objectively “good” to discuss? In such situations, how do we avoid idle talk on one hand and spiritualized distance on the other, while still remaining truthful and loving in conversation? 00:50:25 Bob Čihák, AZ: Even though St. Ephrem warns us about “idle chatter” throughout Lent, we don’t hear about “idle chatter” the rest of the year. I sometimes facetiously ask others, “So, is idle chatter acceptable the rest of the year?” At least, this question usually brings a few seconds of audible, if not spiritual, silence. 00:51:22 Anthony: St Augustine was a rhetorician. Not everyone is trained that way 00:56:14 Una’s iPhone: Please can you list again the qualities you associate with Eastern writing. I’m a writer 00:56:25 Una’s iPhone: Reacted to "St Augustine was a r…" with 👍 00:56:40 John ‘Jack’: Fr Bamberger past on 1/2020 00:56:48 Una’s iPhone: Reacted to "Please forgive me Fa…" with ❤️ 00:58:22 John ‘Jack’: Replying to "Fr Bamberger past on…" At the age of 94 having been a Monk for nearly 70 years if I recall correctly 01:03:44 Una’s iPhone: Reacted to "I very often want to…" with ❤️ 01:04:34 Catherine Opie: Reacted to "At the age of 94 hav..." with ❤️ 01:04:47 Una’s iPhone: I love what we’re covering tonight. Very helpful in everyday life 01:10:02 Una’s iPhone: Can you please repeat the  list of qualities you associate with writing in an Easterly way. I’m a writer 01:13:21 Bob Čihák, AZ: Re: St. Augustine, Professor Pecknold, of Catholic U in DC, gave 2 illuminating talks about him and his "City of God" using Pagan authorities in refuting the Pagan's own fallacies, for the Institute of Catholic Culture recently. I listened to the "after action" podcasts. cf. https://instituteofcatholicculture.org/events/the-city-of-god 01:15:58 Una’s iPhone: Thank you 01:16:04 Jennifer Dantchev: Thank you! 😊 01:16:21 Una’s iPhone: From the chattering solitaries 01:16:51 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:16:55 Catherine Opie: God bless Fr. Many thanks for your time today 01:17:04 Bob Čihák, AZ: Bless you, Father.