Philokalia Ministries

“A heart that is broken and humbled, God will not despise.” ⸻ A man begins in need. Not in strength. Not in clarity. Not in light. He begins in the knowledge that he cannot sustain himself. That something is lacking. That without help from above he will collapse inward upon his own poverty. So he prays. Not once, but many times. Not with ease, but with insistence. He multiplies prayers because he feels his need multiplying within him. And in this repetition something begins to happen that he did not plan. His heart is broken. Not by violence, but by truth. For no man can stand long in supplication without being humbled. To beg is already to descend. To entreat is already to abandon self-sufficiency. And so the heart, once scattered and wandering, begins to be gathered. Humility draws it inward. It ceases to roam because it has found its place. The low place. And there, suddenly, everything changes. Mercy encircles him. Not as an idea, not as a consolation imagined, but as a presence that moves within him. A quiet strength. An assurance not born of reasoning. He perceives that help has come. That Another is acting. That he is no longer alone within himself. And this perception gives birth to faith. He understands now what prayer is. Not words cast into the air. Not effort straining toward heaven. But refuge. Shelter. Light. A staff in weakness. A shield in battle. A harbor in the storm. Everything he sought elsewhere is found here, hidden within this turning of the heart toward God. Prayer is no longer something he does. It becomes something he enters. And then, without warning, it becomes joy. The labor ceases. The heaviness lifts. The tongue that once struggled now moves with ease, or falls silent altogether. For the heart itself has begun to pray. It overflows. It glistens with assurance. It burns with a quiet knowledge that cannot be spoken. And from this burning, thanksgiving erupts. Not as duty. Not as obligation. But as astonishment. The soul, seized by the nearness of God, cannot contain itself. It bows, it trembles, it gives thanks. Sometimes in silence. Sometimes with a cry. Sometimes with a whisper that is more flame than sound. This is the prayer that is given. Not achieved. Not mastered. Given. And here the Christian life is revealed for what it truly is. Not discipline alone. Not struggle alone. But joy. A joy that is born only in the humbled heart. A joy that the world does not know. A joy that rises from the knowledge that God Himself has drawn near, and that all things are now held within Him. If you would learn to pray, do not seek words. Descend. Let your heart be broken. Remain there. And you will find that prayer is already waiting for you, not as effort, but as fire, as refuge, as joy that sends up thanksgiving without end. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:01:18 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 185 paragraph 2 00:13:05 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 185 paragraph 2 00:14:16 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: Page 185 paragraph 2 00:15:57 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 185, 2 00:18:24 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "P. 185, 2" with 👍🏼 00:28:09 Kathryn Rose: Mary as co-redemptrix 00:28:14 Eleana Urrego: Mary is the supplicant omnipotence. 00:31:36 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "Mary as co-redemptri..." with ❤️ 00:32:03 Jessica McHale: i think a sign of deepenied relationship with God is that prayer become joyful. It's like checkiing in during the day with a spouse and coming home at night to spouse, waking up to a spouse. I see Issac's point about humbling, but it can be a joyful humbling and sign of great trust and love. 00:36:11 Kevin Burke: Reacted to "Mary as co-redemptri…" with ❤️ 00:43:38 Bob Čihák, AZ: P 186, #4, first paragraph 00:49:09 Kathryn Rose: Joyful /ecstatic prayer is like god praying within us rather then us praying to god 00:49:52 Maureen Cunningham: Treasury of assurance could say a little 00:50:01 Eleana Urrego: Pray is how my heart breaths 00:50:19 Kate: Is this joy something other than psychological joy?  A joy that is not necessarily felt on a psychological level? 00:55:19 John ‘Jack’: I’d recently spoken to a man (an unbeliever) ; who had a believer friend come to his fathers funeral, he said the freind had a joy about him that actually changed him more than anything else ever had before. 00:56:23 John ‘Jack’: Yes 00:56:38 Maureen Cunningham: Pearl of great price 00:56:47 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "I’d recently spoken ..." with 😯 00:59:31 David Swiderski, WI: If you look back to the early church it was seeing love and joy that brought people to God. A spiritual director early in my life asked me "how many candles" have you lit for good things that have happened- getting a job, some blessing and how many asking for help for yourself or others. Love is rushing to share all good things with beloved as well as sharing our burdens. 01:00:59 Kathryn Rose: Yurodstvo is a Russian term for "holy foolishness" - becoming foolish for God 01:02:08 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "Yurodstvo is a Russi..." with ❤️ 01:02:47 John ‘Jack’: Was just thinking today how so many of us will question why this “bad thing” happens, yet if we count them against our many blessings (which we often do not) it’s insignificant, just uncomfortable for us, so don’t like it. 01:05:37 Joan Chakonas: From My 51 years in the secular world I can attest to a zero apprehension of life with Christ; it is really hard to describe. But upon my first communion in 2012 it literally radically changed my life.  Overnight I felt the Eucharist and I became a daily communicant.  A completely different life ever since. 01:06:10 John ‘Jack’: Reacted to "From My 51 years in …" with ❤️ 01:06:12 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "From My 51 years in ..." with ❤️ 01:12:03 Kathryn Rose: I am learning how to pray different psalters, which I'm finding is a completely different than regular prayer. What is the purpose of psalter? 01:14:57 David Swiderski, WI: It helped me to understand the psalms a simple book Psalm basics for Catholics really helped me by John Bergsma. They are grouped. The book can be understood for kids as well. 01:14:58 John ‘Jack’: That’s the one I use, every day 01:15:24 Anna: Praying Psalter for a single night discussion 01:16:41 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You 01:17:16 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father! 01:17:20 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:17:27 Art: Thank you Father! 01:17:34 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you father, may God bless you, your mother and this group. 01:17:47 Anna: Lol 01:17:47 John ‘Jack’: I love a copy please! 01:17:50 Anna: 😂 01:17:51 Andrew Adams: Lol 01:17:56 Paul Grazal: too funny 01:17:58 Eleana Urrego: me 2 please 01:18:05 Anna: Amazon 01:18:18 Anna: What's the book? 01:18:28 Jesssica Imanaka: God Bless you Father and everyone! See you in teh Summer! 01:18:50 Andrew Adams: Should we send addresses if we haven’t already? I didn’t realize we were that far along. 01:18:53 Eleana Urrego: I dont mind please 01:19:34 Paul Grazal: Thank you Father ! 01:19:40 Kevin Burke: Thank you Father! 01:19:45 Eleana Urrego: how can I get a book? 01:19:47 jonathan: God bless you father    

You think sin begins when you speak. The Fathers say it begins when you listen.   The serpent did not force Eve. He spoke. She inclined her ear. And through that small opening, death entered the world.   You fear great sins because they are visible. But calumny is quiet. It asks only for your attention.   A word is offered. You do not resist. You do not rebuke. You do not turn away. You listen.   And in listening, you receive.   The Fathers do not soften this. They do not call it weakness. They call it destruction.   The one who speaks slander kills with his mouth. But the one who listens becomes his accomplice. The poison does not remain in the speaker. It passes into you. You carry it. You knead it into your heart. Soon you will speak it. And then you will call it discernment.   You say, “But it is true.” The Fathers answer: truth on the tongue of a demon is still poison.   The devil does not always lie. He mixes truth with venom. He sweetens the word so that you will swallow it. And once it is within you, it becomes bitterness.   This is why Christ refused even the true words of demons. This is why the Apostles closed their ears. Not because they feared lies. But because they knew how truth can be weaponized.   You do not understand the violence of this sin. You think it is speech. The Fathers say it is murder.   “Better to eat meat and drink wine than to eat the flesh of your brother.”   When you listen to calumny, you consume him. You strip him of dignity in your heart. You become incapable of seeing him as God sees him. And at that moment, you have already judged and condemned him.   Do not deceive yourself. Silence is not innocence if your ears are open.   A soldier may be covered in armor. But a single opening is enough for death.   Your ear is that opening.   You guard your body from impurity. You guard your tongue when it suits you. But your ears remain unguarded, curious, receptive.   You sit near the accuser. You nod. You take it in.   And you call this harmless.   The Fathers call it the fall of Adam repeated.   Close the door.   Do not negotiate. Do not linger. Do not taste the sweetness of another’s shame.   Flee the word before it enters. Cut it off before it forms within you. Refuse even the appearance of listening.   Better to be thought rude than to be found complicit in death.   Because once the word enters, it does not leave easily.   And if you allow it to remain, you will become what you have received.   The serpent no longer needs to speak. You will speak for him. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:02:34 Bob Čihák, AZ: P 368, G 00:17:18 Una: What is the email? 00:17:26 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "What is the email?" with 👍 00:17:58 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: philokaliaministries@gmail.com 00:21:24 Lee Graham: Please give me the name of Themes in Psychology 00:22:34 Jessica McHale: Replying to "Please give me the..." Themes in Orthodox Patristic Psychology: Humility, Obedience, Repentence, and Love 00:28:32 Lee Graham: Replying to "Please give me the n…" Thank you 00:34:06 Bob Čihák, AZ: P 368, H 00:55:21 Jason Fischer: When you speak of silence, would that include meditation 00:56:49 Joan Chakonas: Even dark truth expressed in calumny is better left to God to handle.  Nothing good comes  from evil spoken or in fact. 01:01:10 Jonathan Grobler: We're do we draw the line between calumny, and informing the church of someone's grave sin. Paul told us to not to talk about people's venial sins, but if we see someone committing sin that leads to death, to first talk to them in private, and if they do not wish to listen, to then escalate it to the church. 01:18:35 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You always a blessing. The Blog was wonderful. Blessing 01:18:55 Lee Graham: Thank you since I missed last week 01:19:05 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Thank you, Father. Have a good night. 01:19:57 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:20:06 Jennifer Dantchev: Thank you!

A meditative exploration of providence where stones are restrained and unseen dangers are quietly averted. A portrait of hope as living trust that frees the soul from anxious self-reliance. A gentle turn to humility that begins with admitted weakness, not self-reproach. Practical warnings about false security, watchfulness gone inward, and the grace that follows sincere repentance.

Lenten Retreat 2026 Fourth Reflection The Man Who Has Nothing Left But God On the Life That Appears When the Self That Lived Has Died “I live, yet not I, but Christ lives in me.” Galatians 2:20 There comes a moment that the man cannot perceive directly, because the one who would perceive it is no longer there. He has passed through the loss of support. He has passed through the disappearance of certainty. He has passed through the collapse of identity. He has passed through the experience of abandonment in which he could no longer locate himself in relation to God or even in relation to himself. He has stood where nothing remained to sustain the sense that he existed. He did not cross this threshold through effort. He did not achieve it through discipline. He did not arrive there through understanding. He arrived there because everything he used to sustain himself had been taken. And he did not die. This is the first revelation. He did not die. The self he knew has disappeared. The structure that allowed him to experience continuity has dissolved. The identity he inhabited cannot be recovered. And yet he remains. But he does not remain as he was. Before this, he experienced himself as existing from himself. Even in humility. Even in repentance. Even in dependence on God, he remained the one who depended. He remained the center from which his life was lived. Now this center cannot be found. 1 He cannot locate himself as the source of his own existence. He cannot experience himself as self originating. He exists. But not from himself. The Psalmist speaks from within this mystery when he says, “My soul clings to You; Your right hand upholds me.” Psalm 62:8 Before this, the man believed he clung to God. He believed his faith held him in relation to God. He believed his perseverance sustained his life. Now he sees that even his clinging was sustained. He sees that he has never lived by his own strength. He sees that he has never possessed life in himself. St. Symeon the New Theologian writes that when grace reveals itself fully, the soul sees that it has always existed by borrowed life. Not poetic life. Actual life. The man now experiences himself as upheld. Not helped. Upheld. This produces a peace that cannot be explained to the man who still lives from himself. Because the man who lives from himself must constantly preserve himself. He must maintain continuity. He must protect identity. 2 He must secure stability. He must ensure that he continues. Fear is inseparable from this condition. Fear of loss. Fear of failure. Fear of death. Fear of disappearance. But the man who no longer lives from himself cannot preserve himself. Because he no longer possesses himself. Christ says, “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25 This finding is not recovery. It is discovery. The discovery that life was never his. The discovery that existence belongs to God. St. Isaac the Syrian writes that the man who has come to know his nothingness has come to know the truth of his existence. Nothingness does not mean nonexistence. It means the absence of autonomous existence. The man exists entirely in God. St. Paul says, “In Him we live and move and have our being.” Acts 17:28 Before this, these words were believed. Now they are known. 3 Not as thought. As being. The man no longer moves toward God. He moves in Him. He no longer depends on God as one thing depends on another. He exists as one upheld from within. Christ says, “Abide in Me, and I in you.” John 15:4 This abiding is not effort. It is the end of resistance. The man no longer attempts to ground himself. He no longer attempts to preserve himself. He no longer attempts to exist from himself. These movements have ended. Because the one who performed them has died. St. Silouan the Athonite writes that the soul that has come to know God through the Holy Spirit no longer fears anything. This fearlessness does not arise from strength. It arises from dispossession. Nothing remains to be protected. Nothing remains to be preserved. Nothing remains to be secured. The man exists. 4 But he does not belong to himself. St. Sophrony writes that the human person becomes fully real only when he ceases to exist as an autonomous center. Autonomy is the consequence of separation from God. Communion is the restoration of life. The man who lives in communion no longer experiences himself as isolated existence. He experiences himself as relation. Relation becomes the ground of his being. This does not remove suffering. It removes separation. The man still suffers. He still experiences uncertainty. He still experiences weakness. But these no longer threaten his existence. Because his existence is no longer located where suffering occurs. Christ says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.” The Kingdom belongs to those who possess nothing. Because possession creates separation. The man who possesses nothing exists without separation. St. John the Baptist expresses this final truth with terrifying clarity. “He must increase, but I must decrease.” John 3:30 This decrease is not moral humility. 5 It is ontological disappearance. The self that lived apart from God has ended. What remains is life. Not his life. God’s life. St. Paul writes, “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3 Hidden. Not visible. Not possessed. Hidden. The man no longer experiences himself as possessing life. He experiences life as possessing him. This is resurrection. Not after death. Now. The man who has nothing left but God discovers that he has lost nothing. Because nothing he lost was life. And what remains cannot be lost. Because it is God Himself. And there is no one left to live apart from Him. ⸻ 6 This life does not appear as triumph. It appears as quiet. It appears as simplicity. It appears as the absence of self concern. Because the one who was concerned for himself has died. Christ says, “Do not be anxious about your life.” Matthew 6:25 This command is impossible for the man who lives from himself. Because he must preserve himself. He must anticipate loss. He must guard against death. But the man who no longer lives from himself has nothing to guard. Nothing to preserve. Nothing to secure. His life is no longer his responsibility. It is God’s. St. Peter speaks this truth plainly, “Cast all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7 Not as comfort. As ontology. The man no longer carries himself. He is carried. 7 St. Silouan writes that when the soul comes to know this life, it desires nothing else. Even suffering cannot remove its peace, because its life is no longer located in what suffers. The body may weaken. The mind may grow silent. The world may collapse. But the life remains. Because it is not created life. It is participation in uncreated life. Christ says, “Because I live, you will live also.” John 14:19 Not because you are strong. Not because you are faithful. Because I live. Archimandrite Sophrony writes that at this stage, man begins to live hypostatically. He exists no longer as an isolated psychological individual, but as a person whose being is rooted in the divine Person of Christ. This life is hidden even from the man himself. He cannot grasp it. He cannot analyze it. He cannot possess it. He can only live it. This is why the saints appear ordinary. They do not experience themselves as extraordinary. They experience themselves as nothing. 8 And precisely in this nothingness, God becomes everything. Abba Macarius said, “The man who has truly come to know himself sees himself as beneath all creation.” Not as metaphor. As reality. Because he no longer lives from himself. God alone lives in him. Archimandrite Zacharias writes that when this life appears, prayer becomes self acting. The heart continues in God without effort. The man no longer generates prayer. Prayer becomes the life of God within him. St. Paul speaks of this mystery, “The Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.” Romans 8:26 Not we pray. The Spirit prays. The man has become the place where God lives. This is why fear disappears. Not because suffering ends. But because death has already occurred. The man has already lost himself. There is nothing left to lose. Christ says, “He who believes in Me, though he die, yet shall he live.” John 11:25 This is not only future. It is present. 9 The man has died. And now lives. This life cannot be destroyed. Because it is not his. It is Christ. St. Ignatius of Antioch, walking toward martyrdom, said, “It is no longer I who live, but there is within me a living water that speaks and says, Come to the Father.” This is the voice of the life that remains. The life that appears when the self that lived has died. This is the final dismantling. The end of autonomy. The end of separation. The end of the illusion of self existence. And the beginning of life. The man who has nothing left but God discovers that God is everything. And that this is enough. And that it has always been enough. And that there is no one left to live apart from Him. 10 --- Text of chat during the group: 00:02:25 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: From the dismantling of the religious ego there emerges first a profound poverty of heart. The man who once relied upon his virtues, his understanding, or his religious identity discovers that none of these can sustain him before God. What comes into being in this poverty is humility—not as an idea about oneself, but as a quiet truthfulness. The soul no longer needs to defend itself, justify itself, or measure its progress. Having seen its own weakness and the mercy of God, the heart becomes simple and soft. Compassion begins to arise almost without effort, because the man now recognizes in others the same frailty he has discovered within himself. Prayer also changes in character. It is no longer the activity of someone seeking spiritual achievement, but the cry of a heart that knows its need for God and rests in His mercy. 00:02:40 Fr. Charbel Abernethy: From this humility something deeper is gradually born: a new way of existing before God and others. The person who once lived within the tight circle of self-concern begins to expand inwardly. Peace appears—not the fragile peace that depends on circumstances or success, but a deeper stillness that comes from having nothing left to protect or prove. The heart becomes capable of bearing others, interceding for them, and loving without calculation. In the language of the fathers and the modern elders, this is the beginning of true personhood: the birth of a man whose life is no longer organized around the maintenance of the self, but around communion with God. What emerges from the dismantling of the religious ego, therefore, is not spiritual ruin but a hidden new life—humble, spacious, and quietly alive with the presence of God. 00:31:43 Bob Čihák, AZ: These paradoxes remind me of Chesterton's. 00:39:44 Adam Paige: Reacted to "These paradoxes remi…" with 👍 00:53:43 Eleana Urrego: Virgen Mary was not a powerful woman 01:02:32 Francisco Ingham: “What remains is Life” So beautiful Father, life giving words 01:03:23 Maureen Cunningham: It Beautiful 01:05:01 David Swiderski, WI: Some of the holiest people who seem to carry an aura or sense of peace have often had very traumatic and bad experiences and most not priest or monks but ordinary people. Others when confronted with the same become narcissists and hold the illusion of being successful.  There is a sense of joy felt being around them and sadness in leaving them.  It seems that tearing down of anything tying us to things of this world is often a blessing. When you have nothing left to depend on there is only faith then the smallest things and kindnesses become treasures that were invisible in the past. That point seems an invitation for us unencumbered by things of this world to draw closer to the source of all that is good. I think all of us can look at a younger version of ourselves not recognizing that person as us but almost as a stranger with the thought- what was I (that person) thinking. Humility, loss, repentance seem to lead us to see not with our eyes but a glimpse of what He sees. 01:07:57 Francisco Ingham: Reacted to "Some of the holiest …" with ❤️ 01:36:53 Danny Moulton: I couldn’t help but think of Aquinas and his sudden awareness that his work was “straw.” I wonder if he experienced the transformation you mention. In other words, a shedding of himself to live fully in God. 01:37:50 Maureen Cunningham: When you say become prayer does that mean you are no longer requesting 01:38:31 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Reacted to "Some of the holies..." with ❤️ 01:38:35 Fr Martin, Arizona: Certainly, as you spoke today, I felt myself drawn into this desire to live in the breath of love, that God is enough, upheld in love. It seems to make sense somewhere within me. Will I still maintain this sense or thought when my pastoral counsel tells me what it wants in the parish at our meeting tomorrow? I’m sad that I too often find myself in myself again. 01:38:42 Danny Moulton: Reacted to "Some of the holiest ..." with ❤️ 01:40:09 Ben: Anna; That anecdote of St. Philip Neri bursting into tears at the party and the teaching that we will no longer see the sins and faults of our neighbour seem to contradict each other. 01:45:00 iPhone: As one makes spiritual progress is some of the fear rooted more in entering the unknown? I think a big part of identity is centered on social relationships. How might this be an impediment in one’s spiritual journey? Is it a spiritual mourning to lose those aspects/sources of one’s identity? 01:53:20 Parnak K.: He went through severe trauma as a child then again in his late adolescence, when he had nothing to live for, and wanted to die.  He somehow held on, after “surviving” on alcohol and another addiction.  Finally, after managing to achieve a false appearance of being successful, a deep sense of emptiness and loss finally hit him. He surrendered to God and asked Him to come back in his life.  His life changed.  He received the sacraments once more, only now with real meaning.  But still, he did not receive the total transformation described here, even though he was thoroughly dismantled and God restored him to life. 01:53:25 Jared: I struggle to harmonize God's command to provide and care for my family with his command to not be anxious for anything. I know that in myself I do not have the ability to care for them as I should, yet I often live as though everything depends on me. I don't trust God enough to make up for my deficiencies. Also, I worry about bad things happening to my family because I know it will also bring me deep pain. My identity is bound up with them. Sometimes, I wonder if God is calling me to make difficult decisions, but I hesitate to make them because I wonder how those decisions will affect my family's security. God cares for me and my family more than I do, more than I can ever imagine. Why can't I trust him whole-heartedly and without reserve? Why can't I let go and stop holding on so tightly to my both my family and my sense of responsibility for them? 01:57:01 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Reacted to "I struggle to harm..." with 👍 02:00:27 Jessica McHale: This retreat has clarified something I’ve struggled with for eight years and thought six relocations. I’ve been searching for 'community' as a way to find a home, but I realize now that God has been stripping away that desire to show me something greater. I am not going to find Him in a parish, a group, or an identity with a community; I will only find Him in Himself. This isn't a punishment, but a beautiful reality: He is enough. While community is a gift, it is not my 'destination.' Thank you for helping me confirm that He is all I truly need and to focus on that union. 02:01:00 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Reacted to "This retreat has c..." with ❤️ 02:01:38 Sophia Bomba: Reacted to "This retreat has c..." with ❤️ 02:01:47 David Swiderski, WI: Reacted to "This retreat has cla..." with 👍 02:02:01 Danny Moulton: Reacted to "This retreat has cla..." with ❤️ 02:06:16 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you Father may God bless you, your mother and this group. Where 75 gather on Zoom He is present :) 02:06:26 Julie: Thankyou Father🙏 02:06:38 Rita’s iPhone: Thank you! 02:06:43 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "Thank you Father may..." with ❤️ 02:06:44 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Thank you, Father. This was wonderful. God bless you. 02:06:44 Jared: Thank you very much for these talks Father! They've made me think a lot. 02:06:45 Janine: So wonderful! And you explained it clearly! Thank you! 02:06:48 Gwen’s iPhone: Thank you. Prayers. 02:07:00 kristy: Thank you! 02:07:03 Jessica McHale: Hallelujah! Thank you, Father and God bless you and your mother. Many prayers!!! 02:07:04 Ivan: Thank you! 02:07:07 Bob Čihák, AZ: I pray for you every day, Father 02:07:44 Sophia Bomba: Thank you Fr. This was a wonderful retreat. 02:07:44 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father, for the amazing retreat! 02:07:47 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 02:07:59 Jesssica Imanaka: Thank you, Father! 02:08:12 Erick Chastain: Thank you fr

“Faith has need of labors also, and confidence in God is the good witness of the conscience born of undergoing hardship for the virtues.” — St. Isaac the Syrian ⸻ There is a sobriety in St. Isaac’s teaching on hope that cuts through every illusion of easy religion. He will not allow hope to become sentiment, nor will he permit it to be reduced to a desperate cry uttered only when life begins to collapse. The man whose heart is buried in earthly concerns, he says, eats “dust with the serpent.” His life is absorbed by distraction, indulgence, and negligence toward God. Yet when affliction comes he suddenly raises his hands and declares: “I shall hope in God.” For Isaac this is not hope at all. It is self-deception. True hope does not arise magically in moments of crisis. It is born slowly through a relationship with God cultivated over time through labor, repentance, and love. The soul that hopes in God has already spent itself for Him. It has struggled to keep His commandments. It has endured hardship for the sake of virtue. Hope therefore becomes the quiet testimony of a conscience that knows it has been walking with God. Faith without such labor is like grasping the wind. One cannot claim confidence in God while living carelessly before Him. Hope grows only in the soil of a life turned toward God with sincerity and effort. Yet Isaac’s realism never becomes harsh. Even as he exposes the foolishness of a man who suddenly invokes God in the midst of self-inflicted trouble, he does not deny the mystery of divine mercy. God remains long-suffering. Even the negligent are often protected by a providence they scarcely notice. A traveler may unknowingly pass through danger — a wild beast, a murderer, a serpent hidden in the road — and yet be preserved by circumstances quietly arranged by God. This preservation is not a reward. It is mercy. In this way Isaac draws the reader into a profoundly relational vision of faith. God is not a mechanism to be activated in moments of distress. Nor is hope a formula that guarantees relief. Rather, hope grows within a living relationship between the human heart and the God who desires that heart. God seeks us patiently. But hope becomes real only when we begin to seek Him in return. Thus Isaac leads the soul away from both presumption and despair. He calls us to a hope that is sober, honest, and deeply human — a hope born not from passivity but from love. The one who labors for God, who sweats in His husbandry, who struggles to keep faith even in weakness, gradually discovers that confidence in God begins to take root within him. Hope then becomes something quiet and strong. Not a cry of desperation. But the steady trust of a heart that has learned, through labor and repentance, to live before God. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:10:07 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 182, #3, first paragraph 00:19:03 Bob Čihák, AZ: P. 182, #3, first paragraph 00:40:42 Jessica McHale: When I am very tired, and I pray Vespers or Compline, I sometimes move through the psalms with inattention and just moving through because I am so tired. At those times, is it better to give 2 lines of attention to God or push through all the psalms? I love praying the Hours, but when I am so tired after a long day (for a variety of reasons), it can be a challenge to really be with the Lord when praying. 00:41:27 Wayne: Reacted to "When I am very tired..." with 👍 00:43:47 Nypaver Clan: Page # ? 00:44:08 Jesssica Imanaka: 182 00:44:12 Myles Davidson: Replying to "Page # ?" 182 00:44:15 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "182" with ❤️ 00:44:30 Myles Davidson: Replying to "Page # ?" About to start last paragraph 00:48:55 John ‘Jack’: I’m often taken how we/one can say “ how can a good God let these bad things happen” yet we spend minimal time in prayer worship. Why would we expect blessings of a relational love of God when we don’t show him love. 00:48:56 Ryan Ngeve: Father, isn’t the very act of toiling for God an act of hope itself? 01:03:31 David Swiderski, WI: I have been trying to follow the Kathisma which I like for Matins but to be honest the vespers with the daily repeat of 18 feels tiresome for some reason. Just wondering why the matins changes each day but the vespers only has the same group over and over. 01:07:00 Jessica McHale: I use a Melkite breviary and the Kathisma for vespers does change. Orthros is very long. It's been great for me to get to know the psalms much more by following the Kathisma. 01:08:59 Myles Davidson: Th 1962 Breviary and previous in the Latin rite work on a weekly cycle 01:10:10 Joan Chakonas: I find consolation in reminding myself, when annoyed by something as mundane as being stuck behind a school bus, that its Gods will that I am stuck behind the school bus at this moment.  My annoyance evaporates and This gift from God is like gold to me.  His will is something I’ve been focusing on this Lent-it is so consoling to keep this in mind . 01:10:57 ROBERT IAROPOLI: Reacted to "I find consolation..." with ❤️ 01:13:08 Jesssica Imanaka: Reacted to "I find consolation i..." with ❤️ 01:13:09 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "I find consolation i..." with 👍🏼 01:13:26 John ‘Jack’: Reacted to "I find consolation i…" with ❤️ 01:13:33 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "I find consolation..." with ❤️ 01:13:36 Ben: Reacted to "I find consolation i..." with ❤️ 01:14:37 Ben: Anna: Is it helpful to do penance for all the sins we would have commit but God saved us from? 01:16:44 Fr Martin, Arizona: I still today have seen God rescue people as Isaac says. Trust God. On my way to Pittsburgh my connecting flight arrived late, I still prayed and went to the gate. The plane to Pittsburgh had boarded, closed the door, and the clerk called inside the plane and told them to open the door and let me on. I've never seen that before. I've sometimes been frustrated by being delayed to find out that God had a reason for my delay. Even delays build my faith and trust in God. 01:19:10 David Swiderski, WI: Every day, a farmer relied on his horse to work his fields. One day, the horse ran away. The villagers said, “Such bad luck,” but the farmer replied, “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?” Weeks later, the horse returned with a herd of nine more. The villagers cheered his “good luck,” but he gave the same calm reply. Later, the farmer’s son tried to tame one of the new horses, fell, and broke his leg. Again the villagers lamented the “bad luck,” and again the farmer said, “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?” A month later, the army came through town, conscripting every able-bodied young man. Seeing the son’s broken leg, they passed him by. The villagers celebrated the farmer’s “good luck,” but he simply repeated, “Bad luck. Good luck. Who knows?” 01:19:28 David Swiderski, WI: My Uncle used to tell me this story when I was young I still remember it fondly 01:20:12 Elizabeth Richards: Reacted to "My Uncle used to tel..." with ❤️ 01:20:24 Julie: Reacted to "Every day, a farmer …" with ❤️ 01:20:32 John ‘Jack’: Reacted to "Every day, a farmer …" with ❤️ 01:20:36 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "My Uncle used to tel..." with ❤️ 01:20:53 Catherine Opie: Yes if I get frustrated or anxious that my plans will not come to fruition I am missing all the gifts God is offering me in the moment. 01:22:58 Maureen Cunningham: Lord’s Blessing to all . Thank You Father 01:23:11 Janine: Thank you Father! 01:23:43 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you Father, may God bless you your mother and this group. 01:23:44 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:23:52 Joan Chakonas: Thank you Father 01:23:53 Elizabeth Richards: Amen- peace to you Father 01:23:54 Bob Čihák, AZ: Bless you, Father 01:23:56 Jessica McHale: Thank you!!! Many prayers!

A brother said to an elder, “Father, what is calumny?” The elder said, “Death.” The brother was troubled. “I did not strike anyone.” The elder said, “You struck your brother with your tongue.” Silence fell between them. The elder continued, “A man may fast. He may keep vigil. He may pray the Psalms all night. But if he speaks against his brother, he destroys everything.” The brother asked, “Even if what he says is true?” The elder said, “Truth spoken without love is a knife.” The brother lowered his head. “What then is condemnation?” The elder replied, “When a man sees the sin of his brother and says in his heart, ‘I know what this man is.’” The elder struck the ground with his staff. “Only God knows what a man is.” Silence. The brother spoke again, “Father, sometimes others speak against a brother in my presence. What should I do?” The elder said, “Close the door.” The brother did not understand. The elder explained, “Close the door of your ears.” “If you listen, the fire enters you.” The brother said, “And if I agree with them?” The elder said, “Then you have lit the fire yourself.” The brother trembled. The elder said, “Many think the sin is speaking.” “It begins earlier.” “It begins when the heart enjoys hearing evil.” The brother whispered, “Why is this sin so grave?” The elder said, “Because the man who condemns his brother leaves the place of the sinner and sits in the place of God.” The elder looked at him sharply. “And God does not share His throne.” A long silence passed. The brother said, “What must I do if someone begins to malign another?” The elder replied, “Say this: ‘I am worse than he. I cannot judge anyone.’” “In this way you save your soul.” The brother said, “And if I have already spoken evil?” The elder said, “Go to your brother. Bow to the ground. Say, ‘Forgive me. I have killed you with my tongue.’” The brother lifted his eyes. “Is it truly so serious?” The elder said, “The serpent expelled Eve from Paradise with a whisper.” Silence returned. Then the elder spoke one final word. “If you wish to know whether the grace of God lives in you, watch your mouth.” “The mouth that blesses is alive.” “The mouth that condemns is already dead.”

Third Reflection Lenten Retreat 2026 When God Begins to Take Everything On the Delusion of Belonging to God While Still Belonging to Oneself “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” Matthew 27:46 There comes a point in the spiritual life when the man can no longer recognize himself. Until this point, he has struggled with visible things. With sins. With distractions. With passions that moved through his body and mind. He struggled to restrain them. He struggled to purify himself. He struggled to become faithful. This struggle had structure. It had direction. It had meaning. He could see what he was fighting. He could measure progress. He could recognize failure and repentance. He lived with the sense that he was moving toward God. Even when he failed, he knew where he stood. Even when he fell, he knew he could rise. His existence had continuity. His identity had stability. He was a man seeking God. He knew himself as such. Then something begins to happen that he cannot understand. God removes not sin, but support. Not temptation, but stability. Not rebellion, but ground. 1 Prayer continues, but something within it has disappeared. The words remain. The effort remains. The intention remains. But life has receded. He speaks to God, but he does not experience being heard. He calls, but nothing answers. He remembers when prayer gave him warmth, when the name of Christ carried sweetness, when he felt himself held in a presence greater than himself. Now that presence cannot be found. He does not know whether it has left or whether he has. St. Isaac the Syrian writes that there is a stage in which God withdraws the perceptible operation of grace so that the soul may be taught that it does not possess Him. This withdrawal is not punishment. It is revelation. Until this point, the man believed he depended on God. Now he sees that he depended on his experience of God. He depended on the stability that experience gave him. He depended on the sense that he knew where he stood. This sense has now been taken. He no longer knows where he stands. He no longer knows what he is. He no longer knows how to locate himself before God. Evagrios says that when grace withdraws, the soul is handed over to knowledge of its own powerlessness. 2 Not intellectual knowledge. Existential knowledge. The man discovers that he cannot produce even the smallest movement toward God by his own strength. He cannot restore what has been taken. He cannot recover the life he once knew. He cannot make himself alive again. This knowledge terrifies him. Because until now, he has lived with the assumption that he existed. That he endured. That he remained himself across time. That his relationship with God was something he inhabited. Now even this has dissolved. He experiences groundlessness. Not emotional instability. Ontological groundlessness. He cannot find the place within himself from which he once lived. St. Macarius the Great says that until the soul passes through abandonment, it cannot be freed from the illusion that it possesses life. This illusion is so subtle that even humility cannot destroy it. The man may believe he is nothing. He may confess his weakness. He may acknowledge his dependence. And still exist as the center of his own life. 3 God removes this center. Not suddenly. But completely. The man cannot stop this process. He cannot preserve himself. He cannot secure himself. Everything he relied on to know himself has been taken. This produces the deepest temptation. Not the temptation to sin. The temptation to restore himself. To rebuild identity. To recover stability. To become again the one he was. Many do this unconsciously. They reconstruct their religious self. They recover certainty. They regain structure. They resume existing as before. And they lose something they do not understand. They lose the possibility of union. Because union requires the disappearance of the one who lives apart from God. St. Paul writes with terrifying clarity, “For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.” Colossians 3:3 4 Hidden. Not strengthened. Not improved. Hidden. The man can no longer find himself. Because he no longer exists where he once lived. Christ entered this darkness fully. “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” He entered the experience of abandonment. Not because He had lost the Father. But because He had surrendered every human ground. He stood where man stands when nothing remains. So that man could stand there and live. St. Silouan says, “Keep thy mind in hell and despair not.” Hell is the place where every support has been removed. Where the self cannot preserve itself. Where existence depends entirely on God. The ego cannot survive here. This is its death. The man who remains here without turning back passes beyond himself. But he does not yet know this. He knows only loss. 5 Only absence. Only the disappearance of the one he believed himself to be. This is the threshold of resurrection. But resurrection cannot yet be seen. Only death can be seen. And the man must remain. ⸻ This is the most terrible mercy God gives to those He draws near. Because as long as the man can still find himself, he still lives from himself. As long as he can still locate stability within his own experience, he has not yet been born of God. Christ said, “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24 Remains alone. Even if it is righteous. Even if it is faithful. Even if it believes itself to belong to God. As long as it remains intact, it remains alone. St. Sophrony writes that God allows the soul to descend into this darkness so that it may learn to exist from Him alone and not from any created support, including its own experience of grace. This descent feels like death because it is death. The death of psychological continuity. The death of spiritual self recognition. The death of the one who could say, I am the one who prays. 6 Now prayer continues. But the one who prayed cannot be found. The Jesus Prayer may still be spoken. The lips may still move. The mind may still form the words. But the center from which it once came has been shattered. The man stands before God without himself. This is why the psalmist cries, “I am forgotten like one dead, out of mind; I am like a broken vessel.” Psalm 30:12 LXX Forgotten. Broken. Without place. Without continuity. Without self possession. St. Isaac says that when the soul enters this stage, it feels itself suspended between existence and non existence. It cannot return to what it was. It cannot yet see what it will become. It cannot move forward. It cannot move back. It can only remain. This remaining is crucifixion. Christ did not descend from the Cross. 7 He remained. He did not preserve Himself. He entrusted Himself. “Father, into Your hands I commend My spirit.” Luke 23:46 This is the final act of abandonment. Not abandonment by God. Abandonment of oneself into God. Archimandrite Zacharias writes that at this stage, man learns true obedience. Not obedience of action, but obedience of being. He no longer acts from himself. He no longer preserves himself. He exists in radical dependence. This dependence feels like non existence. Because the ego cannot live this way. The ego requires ground. Continuity. Self possession. Identity. God removes all of it. Not to destroy the person. But to reveal the person. Because the person does not exist in himself. The person exists in God. St. Paul writes, “For in Him we live and move and have our being.” Acts 17:28 Not alongside Him. Not with assistance from Him. 8 In Him. When this is seen, the man understands that his previous life, even his spiritual life, was sustained by illusion. He believed he lived. He believed he endured. He believed he remained. Now he sees that he does not possess existence. Existence is given. Moment by moment. Breath by breath. “God withdraws His breath, and they perish and return to their dust.” Psalm 103:29 LXX The man feels this. Not as theology. As reality. He feels that if God does not sustain him, he will cease. Not morally. Ontologically. This is why fear arises. Not fear of punishment. Fear of non being. But if the man remains, something begins to happen that he cannot yet perceive. A new center begins to emerge. 9 Not located within himself. Located in God. Christ begins to live where the ego once lived. This is why St. Paul says, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Galatians 2:20 Not metaphor. Ontological fact. The old center has died. A new center has been given. St. Silouan writes that when man descends into this hell and remains with faith, the Lord Himself becomes his life. Not as comfort. As existence. The man no longer lives toward God. He lives from God. But before this becomes clear, there is only darkness. Only abandonment. Only the terrible silence of God. St. Sophrony says that this silence is not absence, but the deepest form of presence. God is acting beyond perception, dismantling the final illusion that man possesses himself. The man feels forsaken. But he is being carried. He feels abandoned. 10 But he is being born. This is the third dismantling. Not the destruction of sin. Not the destruction of righteousness. The destruction of the illusion that one belongs to God while still belonging to oneself. God takes everything. Even the man’s experience of belonging to Him. So that the man may finally belong to Him completely. And the man must remain. Without returning. Without rebuilding. Without preserving anything. He must remain in the darkness where Christ Himself stood. “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” And wait for the life that only God can give. 11

“Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33 St. Isaac places hope after the first labor of virtue for a reason. A man must first discover that his virtues cannot save him. He fasts. He keeps vigil. He disciplines the body. He restrains the passions. He learns obedience to the commandments. Yet even after these labors something remains uncertain within him. The heart still trembles before the future. The mind still calculates. The soul still tries to secure itself. Virtue alone does not destroy fear. Because fear is rooted in the illusion that life depends upon us. So Isaac begins to speak about hope. Not optimism. Not religious comfort. Not the quiet belief that God will make things easier. Divine hope is something far more terrible. Divine hope appears when a man finally believes the words of Christ. “Make no provision for the flesh.” The man who hopes in God no longer arranges his life around survival. He arranges it around God. This is why Isaac describes the man who ceases to give thought to worldly provision. Such a man has not become careless. He has become free. He has discovered something the world does not understand. God is not an idea that accompanies life. God is life. The world trains us to think first about preservation. Food. Clothing. Shelter. Security. Reputation. Position. The future. Even religious men often organize their spiritual life around these concerns. They seek God but only after they have secured themselves. Christ reverses this order. Seek first the Kingdom. Not second. Not after your plans are settled. Not after the future is secured. First. When this commandment is believed, everything changes. Afflictions no longer appear as threats. Loss no longer appears as catastrophe. Uncertainty no longer produces panic. The man who hopes in God has already placed his life in God’s hands. Nothing remains to defend. This is why the saints could live with such strange freedom. They possessed little. They planned little. They secured little. Yet they lacked nothing. The world itself began to serve them. Not because they controlled the world but because they had already abandoned it. Divine hope therefore exposes the false hope that governs most lives. False hope says God will protect the life I am building. True hope says God Himself is my life. False hope clings to stability. True hope walks where Christ walks. Into uncertainty. Into poverty. Into the wilderness. Into the Cross. And yet the man who walks there does not despair. Because he has discovered something greater than safety. He has discovered the faithfulness of God. This is why Isaac places hope after the discipline of virtue. Virtue trains the body. Hope gives the heart to God. Without hope the ascetic life becomes anxiety dressed in religious clothing. With hope the man becomes light. He lives before God without calculation. He labors. He prays. He stands watch over the heart. And he entrusts everything else to the mercy of God. Such a man has begun to believe the Gospel. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:38:12 Janine: Happy are you poor 00:40:55 Jessica McHale: I feel as though the money, savings, job, housing I have is all a gift from God. My life has been a little complicated and I see these material things as passing--I don't have hope in them at all--but I feel blessed at what's He's given me. My job allows me to say the Hours and attend Divine Liturgy or Mass daily. If I lose all material things, it's no loss. God will provide. Living simply, even though I have security in "savings etc" makes me really see how unimportant material things are. I don't need most things the average person needs. I have a long way to holiness though, :). But this helps me to try to focus on God throughout the day and become more "ascetic" in the modern world. Praise God. 00:45:46 Nypaver Clan: Page # ? 00:45:50 Anthony: There are people Our Lord did not call to follow Him in the evangelical counsels.  The Gadarene demonic.  The man blind from birth. Even Nicodemus. Maybe I'm trying to justify myself, but I wonder if the evangelical counsels are for some people but not others 00:45:59 Andrew Adams: Replying to "Page # ?" 182 00:46:02 Eleana Urrego: 182 00:46:09 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "182" with 👍 00:46:15 Nypaver Clan: Reacted to "182" with 👍 00:47:25 Julie: Today’s reading was similar to this ,Luke 16:19-31 00:48:28 Eleana Urrego: I have joy in poverty because I can see the divine providence in action ❤️ 00:53:43 David Swiderski, WI: This makes me think about a popular book called the "Secret" which seems like self worship and strange but I have met a lot of people who feel this is their truth. It seems empty and controlling eliminating a focus on God, family, empathy a lot of what makes life worth living. It has also been recommended to some friends by psychologist and some businesses. I have seen Presidents and VPs of large multinationals spending time before days or meetings speaking to mirrors with positive statements on how great they are, how they are winners which almost seems like prayers and worship to the ego. 00:54:31 Myles Davidson: Reacted to "This makes me think ..." with 👍 00:54:47 Eleana Urrego: Demonic 00:55:02 Kevin Burke: Reacted to "Demonic" with 👌 00:55:15 David Swiderski, WI: The new generation uses their phones not mirrors anymore. :) 00:55:38 Robert Iaropoli: Father, am I being asked to embrace hopelessness in self? I was embarresed and resistant of taking such a view for a long time bc I really wanted to be seen as and feel that I am a competant, powerful, self relient man, and I dont like ducking out of a fight, but experience tells me that that attitude  just leads me to getting the snot kicked out of me. 01:01:25 Joan Chakonas: If you talk to God throughout the day He brings you where you need to be in that very moment.  Like he brought me to the philokalia ministeries through my friend Janine.  Monday night was a seismic wake up to stop my idle internet browsing because I chose to take the guidance of the fathers seriously.  I expect to fail often but I will keep trying and believe I will succeed with His help.  Just a thought 01:06:56 Eleana Urrego: Reacted to "If you talk to God t..." with ❤️ 01:11:15 Jesssica Imanaka: The footnote on trust and confidence on p. 181 seems important in terms of understanding what hope really means. 01:15:27 Gwen’s iPhone: Fr Freeman’s book “Everywhere Present” has life changing for me. 01:16:57 David Swiderski, WI: My Grandfather explained hope to me with this saying: We all fall, we all have times we are on knees but the person with faith and hope can be seen because he always have their arm outstretched trying to reach God. And sometimes our fingertips feel his presence.

“The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God.” Psalm 13 A man stole two sheep and thought he could seal the theft with holy words. He walked toward the monastery with perjury already formed in his mouth. He believed that if he spoke boldly enough before the relics, heaven would remain silent. This is how sin matures. Not in ignorance, but in presumption. He did not merely lie. He invoked God as witness to his lie. We imagine that oaths make us strong. In truth they expose our pride. The man who swears lightly believes he commands reality. The fathers say it is better not to swear at all. Even truth becomes dangerous when uttered without trembling. Kyriakos feared losing two sheep more than losing his soul. And so the mercy of God came to him as blows. We recoil at the severity. But what is more severe. A body struck in the night or a conscience hardened forever. The vision stripped him of speech. That is the beginning of repentance. The tongue that dared to manipulate God fell silent before Him. And then we are told something equally sharp. Another man swore not to forgive. He placed hatred beneath the Cross and called it fidelity. How often do we do the same. We baptize resentment with pious language. We defend our implacability as righteousness. We call stubbornness integrity. The elder smiled because he saw the absurdity. To swear by Christ in order to disobey Christ is madness. Repentance broke the oath. Mercy broke pride. Reconciliation restored life. Then the mothers and fathers speak of something quieter but just as deadly. Calumny. We think murder requires blood. The desert says it begins with a whisper. To listen to slander is already to participate in it. The ear becomes the accomplice of the tongue. The heart is kneaded with yeast that does not belong to it. St Synkletike says some people feed on this. It is recreation. We leave prayer and feed on stories about others. We speak of faults not to heal but to taste superiority. When we do this, prayer rots. The face of our brother becomes distorted. We no longer see an icon. We see an accusation. The fathers tell us to become as one who hears not. This is harder than speaking. Silence requires humility. It requires the refusal to be entertained by another’s fall. The man who guards his tongue guards his soul. The man who refuses to swear lightly refuses to command God. The man who will not receive a vain report protects Paradise at the gate of his ear. We want refined spirituality. The desert gives us something simpler. Fear God. Guard your mouth. Refuse the whisper. Break the oath of hatred. And if you have dared to lie before Him, fall silent quickly. Better a bruised pride than a hardened heart. --- Text of chat during the group: 00:01:44 Bob Čihák, AZ: P 360, Hypothesis 48, A 00:10:52 Anna Lalonde: Hey Fr Charbel! I signed up for Saturday and I haven't gotten any emails so don't have time or zoom link. 00:11:34 Anna Lalonde: Yes I checked junk mail 00:14:56 kristy: I found it the way it was thank you! 00:16:39 Joan Chakonas: I just search under philokalia ministeries and it pops up everytime 00:17:09 Anna Lalonde: robertandannalalonde@gmail.comh 00:17:38 Bob Čihák, AZ: P 360, Hypothesis 48, A 00:22:25 Anna Lalonde: The emails from "Fr. Charbel Abernethy" are going to my Gmail "Promotions" box not my "Inbox" so I miss them. The emails from "Father Charbel" for weekly meetings come in my inbox. 00:35:07 Anthony: Kriakos must have been very serious to be carried by an ass, clip-clop what I presume are rough roads in his condition. I was hoping for a different ending. 00:40:28 John ‘Jack’: I was told years ago during  confession that “thoughts are not sins” that never set well with me, what are your thoughts on this ? 00:42:46 John ‘Jack’: Reacted to "I was told years ago…" with 👍 00:47:11 John ‘Jack’: Replying to "I was told years ago…" Admittedly that was back in my more scrupulous/pious  days 00:52:04 John Burmeister: provocation 00:52:22 John Burmeister: 2. momentary disturbance 00:53:54 John Burmeister: 3. communion, 4 assent, 5 prepossession, 6 passion 00:58:17 Forrest: Canon law 1196 says that a pastor (and bishops and the Pope) can dispense from private vows for a just cause provided that a dispensation does not injure a right acquired by others. 01:00:27 Anna Lalonde: What level of thought is a sin? How can we actually know when we sin from our thoughts? 01:01:45 Anthony: I read or heard that delight is an indication of sin 01:01:54 Anthony: Delight in the evil 01:03:45 John ‘Jack’: The snakes head! 01:04:18 Robert Iaropoli: Where does delusion play into the thoughts? Some ideas sound good and you dont realize your a captive too its to late? 01:04:18 John Burmeister: communion is when man becomes morally responsible for having allowed to be thought, assent is when you resovle to act 01:12:04 Angela Bellamy: I see this through the television. People love to discuss the violence and evil as entertainment. It's as though there is no understanding. 01:12:22 Joan Chakonas: Sounds like doomscrolling on x 01:13:11 Myles Davidson: Replying to "Sounds like doomscro..." I was just thinking that first paragraph describes much of social media 01:13:35 Joan Chakonas: Reacted to "I was just thinking …" with 👌 01:15:12 Anthony: Is there a different standard for public figures, or for something like "I wouldn't go to that place" or "I wouldn't give to that organization" or "I don't think such a figure is being honest with the public " I definitely get the danger to our imagination. But we are people who live in a dangerous and manipulating society. 01:17:07 Jason Fischer NY: I do not watch the "news". I find it is not news. 01:20:14 Maureen Cunningham: Jer.  Ch 7 v 28 01:20:48 Jason Fischer NY: … and I believe it separates us from God. 01:21:47 Danny Moulton (Lakeside, Ohio): It supplements the earlier reading. Let our yes be yes and our no be no.... but most often let our "I don't know" be "I don't know" 01:22:09 Robert Iaropoli: Reacted to "It supplements the..." with 👍 01:23:30 Joan Chakonas: Reacted to "… and I believe it s…" with ❤️ 01:24:03 Joan Chakonas: Reacted to "It supplements the e…" with 👌 01:24:16 Joan Chakonas: Reacted to "I do not watch the "…" with ❤️ 01:25:41 Angela Bellamy: It's hard to take that stance for habit of self protection. 01:28:25 Angela Bellamy: I love how you said that because that's it right there, the love of Jesus is for us all. 😊 01:29:17 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You Blessings 01:29:39 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father! 01:29:41 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:29:42 Bob Čihák, AZ: Bless you, Father!! 01:30:03 Robert Iaropoli: Thank you Father

The Dismantling of the Religious Self Four Lenten Reflections on Delusion, Abandonment, and the Life That Remains in God “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” John 12:24 Second Reflection The Violence We Call Righteousness On the Ego That Survives Inside Virtue “They being ignorant of God’s righteousness, and seeking to establish their own righteousness, have not submitted themselves unto the righteousness of God.” Romans 10:3 When the man sees that fulfillment cannot be found in religious life itself, he turns toward righteousness. He disciplines himself. He purifies his conduct. He restrains his passions. He orders his thoughts. He seeks purity. Outwardly, transformation occurs. Inwardly, something remains untouched. The ego survives. It survives inside virtue. St. John Climacus writes that vainglory completes every virtue the man performs. It attaches itself to fasting. It attaches itself to prayer. It attaches itself to obedience.
 It whispers: This is yours. Virtue becomes possession. The man begins to live from righteousness. He experiences himself as stable because he is righteous. He trusts his righteousness. This trust separates him from God. Because union with God requires the loss of trust in oneself as source of life. The Pharisee stands before God and speaks truth. He fasts. He obeys. He lives faithfully. And remains separate. Because he still exists as the center of his own existence. The tax collector possesses nothing. He cannot lift his eyes. He does not trust himself. Christ says he goes home justified. Because justification belongs to the man who has nothing left to preserve. St. Isaac says that until the soul despairs of itself, it cannot rest in God. Not emotional despair. Ontological despair. The knowledge that one does not possess life. Righteousness that preserves the ego prevents union. Because union requires death. Not moral improvement. Death. The man must lose the self that lives apart from God. Virtue cannot substitute for this death. Virtue can conceal it. The ego can survive indefinitely inside righteousness. And remain alone. ⸻ This is the most dangerous stage of the spiritual life. Because sin is obvious. But righteousness can conceal separation. The sinful man knows he is sick. The righteous man believes he is alive. Christ said to the church of Laodicea, “You say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not knowing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.” Revelation 3:17 This is not addressed to pagans. This is addressed to believers. To those who have acquired religious identity. To those who possess righteousness and draw life from it. They do not feel their need. They do not cry out. They do not seek life because they believe they possess it. This is why Christ says, “I came not to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Luke 5:32 Not because the righteous do not need Him. But because those who believe themselves righteous cannot receive Him. They are full. And God only fills the empty. St. Sophrony writes that the greatest tragedy is when man begins to live from himself rather than from God. Even if this life is clothed in virtue, it remains separation. It remains death. Virtue can purify behavior without destroying autonomy. It can cleanse the exterior while leaving the center untouched. Christ speaks with terrifying clarity about this. “You clean the outside of the cup and the plate, but inside they are full of greed and self indulgence.” Matthew 23:25 The outside can be purified. The inside can remain intact. The ego does not resist virtue. It feeds on virtue. It incorporates virtue into itself. It expands through virtue. It becomes righteous. And this righteousness becomes its shield against God. Because God does not come to improve the ego. He comes to crucify it. St. Paul says, “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.” Galatians 2:20 This is not metaphor. This is the destruction of the autonomous center of existence. As long as the man lives from himself, even virtuously, he remains separate. Because life belongs only to God. St. Silouan the Athonite saw this with terrible clarity. He had labored greatly. He had prayed. He had struggled. He had purified himself. And yet the Lord allowed him to descend into hell. Not because he was sinful. But because righteousness had not yet been shattered. And Christ said to him, “Keep thy mind in hell, and despair not.” Not because hell was his destination. But because only in the destruction of self trust could union be born. As long as the man stands on his own righteousness, he stands alone. Only when this ground collapses does he begin to stand in God. Archimandrite Zacharias writes that God allows even the virtuous man to see his utter poverty so that he may cease drawing life from himself. This is the blessed despair that gives birth to true life. This despair is not psychological collapse. It is ontological revelation. The revelation that without God, one does not exist. Christ says, “Apart from Me you can do nothing.” John 15:5 Not less. Nothing. Not even righteousness. When this is seen, virtue loses its power as identity. It remains. But it no longer belongs to the man. It becomes the life of Christ within him. Before this death, virtue belongs to the ego. After this death, virtue belongs to God. This is why the saints do not trust their righteousness. They fear it. They flee from it. Abba Poemen said, “A man may appear to be silent while his heart condemns others. Such a man is talking constantly.” Outward virtue. Inward autonomy. Separation remains. Another elder said that even if a man raises the dead but trusts himself, he has lost everything. Because union is not achieved by virtue. It is achieved by death. This is why the saints see themselves as sinners even when they are purified. Not because they deny reality. But because they do not live from themselves. They live from God. St. Isaac writes that the man who has truly seen himself is greater than the man who raises the dead. Because he has seen the truth. He has seen that he does not possess life. He has seen that all righteousness belongs to God. This vision destroys the ego at its root. And only when the ego dies can God become life. Until then, righteousness remains violence. Violence against truth. Violence against union. Violence against love. Because it preserves the illusion of existence apart from God. The elder Sophrony says that as long as man attributes righteousness to himself, he remains enclosed within the prison of his own being. He cannot escape. He cannot breathe. He cannot live. Only when righteousness is lost as possession does it become life. Only when the man ceases to exist as source does God become his existence. This is why Christ says, “Whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.” Matthew 16:25 Not improves it. Finds it. Because it did not belong to him before. This is the second dismantling. Not the destruction of sinful identity. The destruction of righteous identity. Not the loss of vice. The loss of ownership of virtue. The loss of oneself as the one who lives. Until this death occurs, the ego survives. It survives inside prayer. It survives inside obedience. It survives inside humility itself. It survives inside righteousness. And remains forever alone. --- Text of chat during the group: 01:28:35 Danny Moulton (Lakeside, Ohio): I’m wondering how fear and ego interplay in producing unhealthy religiosity. It seems to me ego and fear are two sides of the same coin. Ego is fed when we think we are righteous and doing religion right, but fear calls the shots when we think we are unrighteous and doing religion wrong. It seems both can lead to obsession with something other than Divine love. The Apostle John says that perfect love drives out fear. I believe this is absolutely true, but fear sure can put up a good fight at times. 01:32:27 Fr Martin, Arizona: What do you think of this? Shortly after arriving at my first parish, I told my spiritual father about all the things I would change. He said, “Check with God. He didn’t give you the football and tell you to run with it. What if God send you there to fail?” 01:33:46 Jaden Abrams: Father, bless! I was really impacted by these last two talks, thank you very much. What change can I make today to die to myself and stop sitting next to the vine. 01:35:31 Kate: When you speak about the death of the ego, is it more like a process of dying rather than something that is accomplished once and for all?  And I find my self asking how, how does the ego die?  Is it a simultaneous process of the dying of the ego and the soul growing in union with Christ? 01:40:29 Una: I was a complulsive A-getter in college, too. Thank you for sharing. 01:41:05 Angela Bellamy: Reacted to "Father, bless! I was..." with ❤️ 01:42:47 Shannon: It feels must bleed out our ego and diappear into the darkness in order for God to turn light.  Not knowing where the next step, but trusting in God.  We disappear into prayer/ looking through window with lamps lite hearts 01:44:16 Fr Martin, Arizona: Today’s retreat convicted me. I’m not sure where to begin poking at my sense of self-identity and autonomy. My anxiety reveals to me that I harbor some delusions about myself. I used to visit a Romanian monk who was imprisoned and tortured by communists. Surprisingly, he never complained about that. Rather he said to me once, “Before I was imprisoned, I knew God in my books. After I was alone in prison, I found God in my heart.” 01:45:02 Jaden Abrams: How do I go about finding a spiritual Father? Am I supposed to choose, discern, let him "come to me", combination of all? I have fallen in love with the east in general and am immersing myself as much as possible please pray for me. 01:47:13 Julie: Reacted to "How do I go about fi…" with 🙏 01:48:13 Jaden Abrams: Replying to "Today’s retreat conv..." Father, bless! Thank you for sharing that. Very powerful. 01:48:49 Jessica McHale: Reacted to "How do I go about ..." with 🙏 01:49:13 mstef: Sounds like passive purgation. 01:49:23 IVAN: Reacted to "How do I go about ..." with 🙏 01:52:24 Eddy: 45 minutes south of HTM and guided by Fr Agapatos from HTM 01:52:51 Julie: Reacted to "45 minutes south of …" with 🙏 01:52:55 Jessica McHale: Finding Philokalia Ministries changed my life--praise God. 01:53:20 Jesssica Imanaka: Replying to "Finding Philokalia M..." Same! 01:53:26 Jaden Abrams: Thank you! 01:53:30 Art: Reacted to "Finding Philokalia M..." with 👌 01:53:33 Danny Moulton (Lakeside, Ohio): Ditto! 01:53:43 Julie: Reacted to "Finding Philokalia M…" with 👌 01:53:45 Jaden Abrams: Reacted to "{BAA35089-E138-45DD-AC25-095FB0D603EF}.png" with ❤️ 01:53:49 Jaden Abrams: Reacted to "45 minutes south of ..." with ❤️ 01:54:04 Joan Chakonas: Yes hearing you read is everything. 01:54:09 Fr Martin, Arizona: Replying to "Today’s retreat conv..." Thanks 01:54:11 Kevin Burke: Reacted to "Finding Philokalia M…" with 👌 01:54:32 Art: Thank you Father! 01:56:08 Kevin Burke: Thank you Father, this has really awakened my soul! 01:56:42 Maureen Cunningham: Thank You Father Thank You everyone. This is so important  We get to step out of World  And be with Christ, so we can grow into disciples 01:56:48 Andrew Adams: Thanks be to God! Thank you, Father! 01:56:51 Rebecca Thérèse: Thank you☺️ 01:56:53 Bob Čihák, AZ: Bless you and thank you, Father!! 01:57:10 David Swiderski, WI: Thank you Father may God bless you, your mother and this group. 01:57:14 Janine: Thank you Father…great beautiful retreat! 01:57:16 Lorraine Green: Thank you 01:57:57 Jessica McHale: Amen! Thank you! Many prayers for you (and your mother)! 01:58:01 Kevin Burke: 🙏 01:58:04 Elizabeth Richards: Blessings- thank you for sharing your heart