The Upshot

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Sign up in your browser, not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Wayne Rooney pissed on the streets of London and Erling Haaland accused of assault by Man City’s mascot.Links from the pod:Harry Redknapp after dinner speaking:https://x.com/dw_sports/status/1905595028560290186Wayne Rooney pissing on the street: https://images.app.goo.gl/ATjMnJSfTFdqNxTRA Turtle pissing on golf course: https://x.com/TheUltLineup_/status/1906445496606236688Haaland high five: https://x.com/TigerVishkit/status/1660342870459699200 Steve Bruce responds to Dwight Gayle: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1ji319l/steve_bruce_on_dwight_gayle_criticizing_his/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Get part 2 NOW and unlock our exclusive weekly patreon episode: www.patreon.com/upshottowersEveryone knows Brazilian footballers love 3 things: boozing, showboating and shagging anything that moves. But none compares to Garrincha, the magical winger who lifted two World Cups, fathered 14 children and lost his virginity to a goat.From gun-wielding vigilantes to affairs with the president’s girlfriend, meet football's first wild child…With guest Horatio Gould (@horatiogouldcomedy) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Unlock the rusty door to Tuchel’s Dungeon, our patreon where we spill stories too spicy for the pod. Get an extra weekly episode right now plus extended cuts and no more pesky ads:www.patreon.com/upshottowers(Make sure you sign up in your browser not the patreon app - it’s cheaper).On the show today: Neymar’s threesome spawns a pregnancy - but who’s the daddy: the brazil striker or his lookalike?Cristiano Ronaldo is sending secret messages to Putin and Trend AA in Madrid asks: “What’s the Spanish for ‘stop savin’ chat’”Links from the pod:Schweinsteiger booed as he announces he’s staying: https://x.com/MusialaEra/status/1904519742771073089Stop savin chat: https://x.com/CFCGiroud/status/1392147020064960519 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

To millions of American fans, Micah Richards is the cheeky chappy of CBS.But little do the innocent Yanks know, the affable Yorkshireman once masterminded Britain’s most infamous threesome.From shagging his way through the Olympic Village to getting catfished on MSN, this is the story of Big Meeks…With guest Elizabeth Barnard.Links from the show:Swearing on live TV after scoring first goal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDii3o33DLE Roy Keane “bursting onto the scene” showdown: https://www.skysports.com/football/video/34069/11952897/keane-very-few-defenders-burst-onto-the-scene Rod Stewart “Big Knees”: https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=598743806360137 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Plus: Neymar’s look-alike saves his blushes at an orgy, John Fashanu’s brush with Nigerian cops, and a cricket legend kidnapped in a cocaine deal gone wrong.Join Zach and George for another edition of Extra Shot, the weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Get 20% off plus free shipping with Manscaped: use code UPSHOT at https://uk.manscaped.com/ If you’re enjoying the pod please share it with your friends on WhatsApp.Links from the pod:Neymar’s lookalike mobbed at the mall: https://www.instagram.com/p/CloE12tjU5S/?hl=en And the video he posted from Neymar’s helicopter: https://www.reddit.com/r/soccer/comments/1jbif5e/eigon_oliveira_famous_neymar_lookalike_posts_a/ The Wealdstone Raider’s league cup predictions: https://x.com/StokeyyG2/status/1901620056691229017 Derren Brown fake car crash: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ghW595-zsbg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Basketball’s biggest names ordered gangland hits on their coaches, fought mountain lions with their bare hands, and got cucked by a gun-toting Biggie Smalls.From cocaine on courtside to a star roasted and eaten by Idi Amin, meet the NBA’s most batshit ballers…Links from the show:Malice at the Palace: https://youtu.be/gQIIOWPNYM0?si=HH3PLOnGbCAhY4HW&t=320 I Got a Story to Tell by Biggie Smalls: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6TnsIGsyUywJa Morant makes it rain on dem hoes: https://fadeawayworld.net/.image/t_share/MTk2NDYzODk4NDc4NTE5Nzk0/ja-2.png Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Plus: Cole Palmer’s toilet trouble and something is exploding within Thibaut Courtois.Join Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, the weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Get 20% off plus free shipping with Manscaped: use code UPSHOT at https://uk.manscaped.com/ If you’re enjoying the pod please share it with your friends on WhatsApp.Links from the pod:Chris Eubank “never steal another man’s bonbons: https://x.com/jackalter0/status/1895381623006220725 Chris Eubank on Gogglebox: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0UkxO50Bj1U Marcel Dessaily talking: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/smyCoZQGWNg  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dennis Wise, a former Chelsea and Wimbledon footballer, shares outrageous tales from his tumultuous career. He discusses the notorious antics of 1990s football culture, including wild celebrations and infamous pranks. Listeners will be entertained by stories of his chaotic team dynamics, the absurdity of his rivalries, and a memorable Christmas party that ended in violence. Wise reflects on his journey from player to manager, highlighting both his aggressive playstyle and the evolving perceptions of his legacy in the sport.

Plus: Kolo and Yaya Toure’s tremendously kinky escort is back and the Putin-backed Scottish chairman who threatens to disappear his captain Join Zach and Jack for another edition of Extra Shot, the weekly pod spilling the funniest stories in sport this week.Get 20% off plus free shipping with Manscaped: use code UPSHOT at https://uk.manscaped.com/ If you’re enjoying the pod please share it with your friends on WhatsApp.Links from the pod:Cole Palmer’s jam sandwich interview: https://x.com/dank_ackroyd/status/1895383298404462616 Rodrigo Muniz Madame Tussauds: https://x.com/BBCMOTD/status/1776135178441597306 Man Utd fan not cutting his hair: https://www.instagram.com/p/DGvIzekI5FZ/ Gervonta Davis hair grease excuse: https://x.com/ChampRDS/status/1896074390972084320 RFK’s dodgy mates: https://x.com/highbrow_nobrow/status/1851288828113297454 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

May 1998.England manager Glenn Hoddle is cowering in the wreckage of his Spanish hotel room, surrounded by broken furniture and shards of glass.As astonished teammates survey the wreckage, hoddle blood-stained assailant storms out the room. It’s Paul Gascoigne.But how did it come to this?From spiking his teammates with laxatives to joining the hunt for Raoul Moat, this is the story of Gazza: the later years…Buy Roisin’s acclaimed book here: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Want-Home-But-Already-ThereLinks from the show:Disgrace-fool front page: https://inews.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2020/05/sun-frontpage.jpgGoal against Scotland: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Op4zA-RWZQcNarrowly missing chance to score golden goal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mie0ZL1vsFk&t=296s Flute gesture to Celtic fans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjT6vOvCAt4 Admits to wanking in Number 10 downing street: https://www.youtube.com/shorts/nxatSvpImlY Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices