The Better Sex Podcast ~ Unfiltered Conversations

Our whole lives are sex. Yes, you read that right. And I don't mean it literally. Sometimes sex is boring; other times, it is exciting–which is pretty much like it. Here's a truth about sex– it's not just about you getting an orgasm; forget about penetration; it's just part of it. The truth is, sex feels good and even feels best when it touches parts of us that haven't felt good in a while; it could be our fears, our traumas, our insecurities, or whatever that isn't feeling good inside of us, or it could be just pure connection. What feels good happens everywhere, not just in the bedroom. In today's episode of The Better Sex Podcast, Ana Del Castillo is a Rightness Expert & Certified Coach with over 20 years of experience working with men and women who have great lives but still always feel like there's something wrong. By addressing the underlying source of their suffering, Ana creates transformative experiences for her clients so they can own their inherent rightness and feel vital and alive in their skin and lives again. An energetic, warm and empathetic leader, Ana has spoken to audiences all over the country and has coached women rock stars, entrepreneurs, and homemakers on the power and freedom of authentic rightness, whose name appeared on NPR, the NY Post, People Magazine, and The Moth. Ana coaches, speaks, and leads courses on Rightness, married to the love of her life, Ken Blackman. Tune in to this episode as Ana unravels the truth about sex and how we can feel good even if it is not purely physical. Highlights: (05:06) How Ana became a rightness expert, women's rightness expert, and certified coach (10:01) How does 'Rightness' live for Ana and her clients (12:47) How to not let others tell you your worth (14:25) Five Levels of Commitment (17:21) Understanding and looking into the sensations in your body. (31:09) Approaching our sex life in a much more holistic way. (33:58) Realizing that sex is more than just a physical act. (36:13) Why every moment is foreplay. (38:19) What to do once the honeymoon and the chemistry fades. (39:58) Ana's experience of working with her husband with other couples (45:45) Ana's upcoming event in New York (49:03) Ana's message for YOU! Links: Website: My Rightness Instagram: Ana Del Castillo (@ana_del_castillo) • Instagram photos and videos LinkedIn: Ana Del Castillo - CEO and Owner - My Rightness | LinkedIn TikTok: Ana_Del_Castillo (@ana_del_castillo_) TikTok | Watch Ana_Del_Castillo's Newest TikTok Videos Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/rightness?fan_landing=true&view_as=public Deborah's Links: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session Appointments 3 — Deborah Kat Coaching Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: Events Near Me | Facebook Twitter: Deborah Kat (@TantraKat) / Twitter

You know that feeling when you're out in the world, and you feel safe? You know what I mean, right? It's that feeling that lets you breathe a little easier, and allows you to be yourself and do whatever you want—the ones that make you feel like there's no way out. And it's also that same feeling when you're in bed with your partner and do the intense moments the way you desire. We all want this kind of safety and power in our lives. But how often do we get it? How often do we ever feel truly safe? In today's episode of The Better Sex Podcast, we are joined by Andre Lazarus. Andre is a Certified Intimacy, Sex, and Relationship Guide, Trained Surrogate Partner, as well as Sacred Intimate with 8+ years of experience helping individuals and couples discover their intimate and erotic power. As a multisexual being experienced in Consensual Non-Monogamous dynamics, Andre's unique approach to sexuality, sensuality and the bond people share make him a thought leader and knowledgeable practitioner. Andre is a Certified Sex and Relationship Coach through the Somatica Institute based out of San Francisco, CA, and specializes in erotic desire, sexless relationships, sexual trauma healing, erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, BDSM, consensual non-monogamy, and more. Tune in to this episode as Andre unravels how to move forward from trauma so that you can get to your desires and that safe place as well! We'll be talking about what it takes to create a safe space for yourself during these intimate moments—and how to get them without having to sacrifice who YOU are. Highlights: (03:55) Andre's Story (10:24) How Andre developed a level of attunement in his own being (14:21) The idea of older women going after what they want (16:09) What do female clients come to Andre for? (23:20) Allowing ourselves to follow our desires (24:49) Realizing the power that we hold on intense and intimate moments (31:49) Andre's traumatic experiences + Becoming trauma-informed (37:09) How does taking people into the place where the trauma occurred and recreating it help them towards healing? (41:20) What is Andre working on these days? Links: Connect with Andre: Website: Coming Closer with Andre Lazarus Instagram: Coming Closer with Andre (@comingcloserwithandre) • Instagram photos and videos Deborah's Links: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session Appointments 3 — Deborah Kat Coaching Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: Events Near Me | Facebook Twitter: Deborah Kat (@TantraKat) / Twitter

The key to better sex is to understand ourselves– what makes us feel good and what doesn't. Women are often not given the chance to rule in bed or they aren't even asked if they are enjoying the moment. Communicating and understanding what we want as a woman allows us to live with more connection and pleasurable experience that suffices our desires and erotic fantasies– this is where real empowerment lies. Know that you can speak up for yourself and that maybe you can learn how to be more assertive about your desires and boundaries because we deserve a good sex life after all! In today's episode of The Better Sex Podcast, we are joined by Lana Sequoia. Lana has eight and a half years of experience as a sex worker, ranging from tantric massage to companionship. She is a massage therapist and energy worker. She has studied Tantra, she studied somatic therapy for sex, and relationship coaching. And right now she is doing another coaching program in the trauma of trauma-informed work so that she can bring even more healing and love to the planet. So her main, her main clientele is men with the occasional couple. If you want to learn about unfiltered conversations on sex and the sex industry, then this episode is for you! I really believe that a sexy world creates a happier world and a safer world. If you want to do your part in creating a sexy, safe world. Please hit subscribe, and leave a review on Apple podcasts or wherever you are listening. Highlights: (02:20) How Lana got into the world of Sex Work (05:48) Understanding Sensual Massage + How Each Session Go (18:12) Learning Boundaries: Sharing your desires and asking for the desires of others (24:24) How knowing one's desires work and how fantasy plays into it (30:37) Stereotypes and prejudices given to sex workers that are damaging and inaccurate (38:50) Lana's experience during the pandemic given that there is no access to in-person clients (46:10) On Becoming a Conscious Creator (49:07) Valuing friendship and connection in the sex industry Links: Website:LANA SEQUOIA OnlyFans: Lana Sequoia ♡ OnlyFans Email:lanasequoia@protonmail.com Instagram:Lana Sequoia ♡ (@lana.sequoia) • Instagram photos and videos Twitter:https://twitter.com/lanasequoia Slixa: https://www.slixa.com/california/san-jose/lana-sequoia Deborah's Links: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session Appointments 3 — Deborah Kat Coaching Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: Events Near Me | Facebook Twitter: Deborah Kat (@TantraKat) / Twitter

We don't think about it a lot, but our emotional and spiritual health plays a HUGE role in our sex life. This week, I've invited relationships expert and author Sequoia Stafford onto the show to unpack some of the less-obvious causes of challenges people run into in the bedroom - from erectile dysfunction to jealousy. Join Sequoia and I as we discuss: Sequoia's healing journey and experiences with shamanism how to be courageously vulnerable with someone (and why you should) the spiritual approach to stepping outside your comfort zone how feelings of scarcity can sabotage your relationships Sequioa's take on non-monogamy managing different relationships with different dynamics getting introspective in relationships ... and so much more! About Sequoia: Sequoia is an author, podcaster, educator, sex coach & master healer who weaves over 20 years of study, practice, teaching and exploration of Ontology, Psychology, Shamanism, Mysticism, Advanced Tantra Therapies, Bio-hacking, Full-Spectrum Energy Medicine, NLP, Drama Therapy, Hypnosis, Nutrition, and her own discoveries of the Science of Now, to guide seekers to be the healthiest human beings possible. Just like our fingerprints, each one of us has a unique design for what brings and keeps us healthy, healed, and in the eXtasy of life. She is on a mission to take the pain and suffering out of love and S.E.X.! This year she launched her podcast SEX4LIFE and is the Bestselling Author of two books, It's Hard! Sexual Satisfaction Secrets to Beat Erectile Dysfunction and I'm Not Jealous! The Ethical Non-Monogamist's Guide to Free Love Relationships Without Pain & Suffering. In her California temple, she teaches Applied Tantra to singles and couples in her signature programs Delicious Love and the Goddess Arts & Intimacy Academy. Sequoia's wish for her students is to find reverence for humanity in those moments of intimacy and the challenges that open doors to sacred partnership and love. Sequoia's gift to listeners of the Better Sex Podcast is a copy of both her books. To claim yours, go to www.FreeLoveModel.com See new SEX4LIFE podcast episodes at www.SEX-4-Life.com Connect with Deborah: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3 Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat

Thea grew up in a traditional family where she was taught nothing about sex/intimacy/relating to others formally. She learned what she saw, did what she was told, and followed the path that she was promised would produce success... but when that path left her a newly divorced, stay-at-home mom of two kids in her late 20s, she decided it was time to try something different. On her quest to learn who she was outside of the role of "mom", she learned to love and listen to herself again. This gave her the power she needed to completely redefine herself, her career, and her sexuality. Now, Thea takes her clients through the same process of rediscovery. In this episode Thea and I explore some of the most effective approaches to rediscovering yourself and crafting intimacy in your life - both in and out of the bedroom. Join Thea and me as we discuss: the lightbulb moment that began her journey of self-discovery the importance of having a community during a period of transformation how to honor (and not feel guilty about) the things you love common intimacy challenges couples face what to do when it feels like you're losing yourself in a relationship why putting yourself first is vital to sustaining your other relationships what "winning" in a relationship looks like About Thea: Thea Jansky holds her Masters of Arts Degree in Integrative Health & Healing and was trained as a Sex & Relationship Coach out in Berkeley, CA. she is Certified in Codependency Recovery and trained in Conflict Management, Resolution, Mediation, Dialectical Behavior Therapy and Complex Trauma & the Nervous System. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and two daughters. Connect with Thea Website: https://www.theasexandrelationships.com/\ Email: intimacyandrelationships@gmail.com Connect with Deborah: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3 Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat

Our guests' beginnings - Suzannah with a political and military background and Andre with a focus on love and relationships - couldn't be more different, but their meeting transformed their lives. When their traditional marriages ended and forced them to look at how they wanted to live for the first time in a long time, they found each other again and vowed to explore new ways of building relationships and relationship dynamics. Eight years later, Suzannah and Andre work together healing, coaching, and offering guidance to those navigating ethical non-monogamy. In this episode, we explore what ethical non-monogamy means, get tools and practices to navigate it well, and hear how to handle conflict constructively in both monogamous and non-monogamous relationships Join Suzannah, Andre, and me as we discuss: What ethical non-monogamy actually is The subjective nature of relationship definitions Tools and practices to navigate ethical non-monogamy successfully What rom-coms have wrong about jealousy Attachment styles and how they affect the way we relate to each other Using attachment styles to spice up your sex life Owning your emotions and making tough conversations easy to have Scheduling your love life The benefits of broadening your sexual and relationship horizons What to do when jealousy is triggered in ethical non-monogamy About Suzannah and Andre: Andre Lazarus and Susannah Rose have been coaches and healers over 10+ years, bringing a unique and open perspective to relationship dynamics and helping people expand their capacity of understanding. With a combined 16 years of experience in Consensual Non Monogamous (CNM) dynamics, they are bringing their lessons and tools learned over years of navigating open relationship dynamics through a brand new fully loaded online course coming in April! Learn more at comingcloser.carrd.co/ and follow comingcloserwithandre on IG. Connect with Suzannah and Andre: Website: comingcloser.carrd.co/ Course: opentomore.mykajabi.com/readytoopen Connect with Deborah: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3 Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat

When it comes to embodying our power, discovering what we want, and honoring our emotions, there are SO many awesome resources out there for women… but our men often get left out of these conversations This week's guest, Karen Brody, is on a mission to fix that by giving men the space, permission, and support to connect with their potential and power. If you're a man ready to get what you want from a relationship AND awaken your women's desire - or if you're a lady looking to better connect with your man - this episode is for you. Join Karen and me as we discuss: Karen's journey to becoming a sex coach for men The behind-the-scenes process of writing a best-selling book Balancing the masculine and feminine Giving men permission to hold boundaries and honor their emotions The power of setting boundaries - especially in the face of what society expects of your gender Respect vs. Love What happens when a relationship lacks respect The biggest thing that makes men feel valued How to become a better listener for your partner Being direct about what you want How to handle criticism in your relationship Building up your partner's confidence Constructively working through conflict and miscommunication Why we need self-respect - and how to get it About Karen: Karen Brody is a Man Coach, and the best-selling author of "Open Her: Activate 7 Masculine Powers to Arouse your Woman's Love & Desire." Karen ́s passion is to awaken the hidden potential and power in men, to lead in life and in love, and to give men the keys for how to awaken a woman's heart and her desire. Connect with Karen Website: https://karenbrodycoaching.com/ Get your copy of Karen's Best-Selling Book: https://www.amazon.com/Open-Her-Activate-Masculine-Powers/dp/0692273476/ref=as_li_ss_tl?ie=UTF8&linkCode=sl1&tag=dlbds04-20&linkId=0ebff1548702fdae29c57d3325eb1abf&language=en_US Connect with Deborah Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3 Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat

Over the course of her life, LiSara has been everything from a forensic linguist to a performer, to a trade show marketer, to a leadership coach. Though her life has called her to many different roles and places, her varied experience revealed one constant truth: sound is powerful. As a relationship coach, LiSara witnessed sound's power to heal trauma. As a leadership coach, she marveled at how sound provided her clients an access point to their authentic selves and inner wisdom. During her performances, she's consistent Now, LiSara has made it her mission to understand our relationship with sound and harness its power to improve others' lives through sound healing. In this episode, we cover how using your voice and playing with sound can lead to better sex. Join LiSara and me as we discuss: What sound healing is - and why it works How sound healing interacts with different types of therapy Tapping into your internal compass through sound Playing with sound in ways that enhance sex Why we NEED to stop faking orgasms The science behind why sound has such an effect on the human body How learning about voice can improve your relationship with yourself Finding everyday pleasure through sound Sound conditioning and the sexiest frequencies The Sexy Sound Healing program About LiSara: She hails from a rich ancestry of both medicine women and Civil Rights educators who worked with Martin Luther King Jr in the 1960s. She also was the first woman of color (WOC) in the United States to graduate as a forensic linguist, training with the FBI agent who broke the Unabomber case of the 1990s. Global audiences as large as 15,000 have witnessed her dynamic, multilingual live performances. LiSára founded Sexy Sound Healing (SSH), the world's 1st personalized sound healing app & community platform for the spiritually-led to experience their divinity, sensuality, and prosperity through the healing frequencies of sound. She speaks multiple languages and lives on the California coast with her partner. Connect with LiSara Website: https://www.sexysoundhealing.com/ Connect with Deborah: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3 Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat

Buckle up, sexy spirits! This episode is a transformative one. This week's guest Spirit Child is a revolutionary somatic practitioner who has never been a fan of the boxes we put ourselves in. They've made it their life's work to help people find liberation from stereotypes and shame - inside and outside of the bedroom. In this episode, Spirit explores how ancestry and culture assign stereotypes and shares ways we can responsibly acknowledge, heal, and free ourselves from those stereotypes. Join Spirit and me as we discuss: What being a revolutionary matriarch means Exploring your masculine and feminine energy with yourself and your partner - regardless of gender The benefits of being side-by-side, instead of face-to-face, with your partner Why pronouns are important The evolution of labels how we can stay mindful and flexible with the language we use identity and how it differs from who we like and what we do how masculinity shows up in different parts of society Spirit's own journey with masculinity the disconnection prejudice creates the self-fulfilling prophecy of stereotypes healing racism from the root how to heal and unpack the psychological effects of stereotypes in the bedroom How our ancestry affects the way we engage in relationships and narratives About Spirit: Spirit is a rEvolutionary Somatica practitioner incorporating elements of sensuality, sexuality, spirituality and the various "realities" (our society and daily practical challenges) to holistically obtain desired effects of eroticism and greater intimate relations with self and the world that surrounds us. Spirit has 30 years of experience as a spiritual advisor and counselor along with; community organizing, mentorship, prison/school/community workshops on arts and exploration of another world for the liberation of all beings, being an international touring freedom singer (musician) who devotes songs that speak to liberation and a pedagogue that assist with the professional development with individuals as well as organizations. spirit has a B.A. in Psychology and Communications. Spirit offers experiential sex and relation guidance (coaching) working with parents/partners, lovers, rEvolutionaries and those seeking to improve their ever growing and loving relations providing tools to assist with self awareness, repair, inner child and having the sex and intimate relations you want and that are right for you. We explore a mutually vulnerable experience while creating a *relation lab. we practice intimate relations starting with self and with others. this method is inspired and explored with the tools of the Somatica Institute. we will add various healing methods infused offering services on embodiment, sexuality and relationships. Connect with Spirit: Linktr.ee: https://linktr.ee/soulsensespirit Connect with Deborah: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3 Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat

When Lindy James walked into her first Tantra event with her friends, she really didn't know what to expect. Did Tantra require you to be naked? Would she be having sex? What the heck was she getting herself into? But instead of finding the intimidating orgies she had pictured, Lindy found a place of healing, empowerment, and freedom. She left that event knowing she needed to be a part of this world - and to make this world more accessible to others like her. A decade later, Lindy James serves as a counselor, intimacy coach, and healer in the Tantric space. In this episode, she debunks some common myths about Tantra, explores how to use Tantra to facilitate healing, and provides strategies on how to become better at listening to what your body needs. Join Lindy and me as we discuss: Lindy's journey from Tantra newbie to a respected Puja leader How to keep the "spark" alive in relationships Offering love through your body Tapping into sacred love The importance (and sexiness) of setting boundaries How to discuss fears and boundaries with your partner What sacred sexuality really means Chakras and your sex life Deepening your connection with your partner How to identify your body's feelings of "yes" and "no" How being willing to disappoint your partner can actually improve your sex life Tantra in the age of COVID Practicing embodiment in everyday life About Lindy: Lindy James is a counselor, intimacy coach, and sexual healer. She is a Certified Tantric Educator, Hakomi graduate, and 25-year Tantra practitioner. Lindy offers sessions in the 'Art of Conscious Intimacy' for individuals, couples, and groups. Lindy James is a woman gracefully in touch with her intuitive wisdom. She believes in the importance of healing ourselves by facing the truth, developing clearer communication, and nurturing deep self-love. Connect with Lindy Website: https://lindyjames.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCLfe_bopfLeqzKBQR_1scYg Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/PermissionzonewithLindyJames Connect with Deborah: Send your sex and relationship questions to DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com For a free Truth and Clarity Session https://www.deborahkat.com/appointments-3 Website: https://www.deborahkat.com/ Email: deborahtantrakat@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deborah.tantrakat Twitter: https://twitter.com/TantraKat