Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Loving your family well isn’t always as simple as it sounds. There are seasons when connection feels easy, and others when you feel unseen, unheard, or like your efforts just aren’t landing.In this episode, Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages, shares insights from decades of helping couples and families better understand how to give and receive love. With the release of his latest book, the conversation goes deeper into how love languages can shape stronger, more meaningful relationships at home.We talk about what to do when you don’t feel loved, how to better understand your spouse and children, and why taking the first step in showing love can shift the entire dynamic of a relationship. There’s also practical wisdom on how to approach hard conversations with care and intentionality.This episode is a powerful reminder that small, consistent choices in how we love can make a lasting impact on our families.Chapters:00:00 Introduction to Dr. Gary Chapman01:43 The Importance of Feeling Loved03:43 Gary Chapman's Life and Work04:58 Understanding Love Languages08:42 The New Book: The Love Language That Matters Most12:39 Communicating Love Effectively16:46 Identifying Love Languages in Children17:49 Understanding Love Languages in Early Childhood20:55 Practical Parenting Tips Using Love Languages24:38 Engaging with Teenagers: Navigating Independence29:32 Adapting Love Languages for Teenagers32:23 Legacy of Love: Reflections on Parenting and FaithConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Dr. Gary Chapman5 Love Languages5 Love Languages free test5 Love Languages Premium AssessmentThe Love Language That Matters Most - new book5 Love Languages of Children5 Love Languages of TeenagersOpen a LearningRX centerPrefer video? This episode is on YouTube!Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Then Mary took about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume. (John 12:3)In the story of Mary and Martha, Mary was the sister who understood the big picture and spent a lot of time at the feet of Jesus. First, she sat at his feet as a disciple would do and listened to Jesus as he taught. Later, she anointed Jesus’s feet with expensive perfume and washed them with her hair.It would have been easy for Mary to be distracted and overwhelmed like her sister became. There was a lot going on and there were a lot of people in her house! Jesus was staying with them and the end of his ministry was nearing. He had also just resurrected their brother! Mary could have multitasked her way through that dinner, but she focused her whole self on Jesus instead.We live in a culture that tells us we can have it all and do it all, and we can multitask and be more efficient. But we can’t multitask Jesus. Jesus was not suggesting that Mary (or Martha) completely disregard their responsibilities, but he was calling them to focus fully on the most important thing, which was him in that moment.What would it look like for our families to focus on Jesus without distractions? As parents, we can model abiding in Christ and encourage our kids to do the same—to experience the gift of learning from him about eternal things instead of rushing around focusing on the present.This week, let’s pray that our kids say no to distractions and grow in their ability to solely focus on Jesus and truly abide in his presence.Jesus, thank you for being our teacher and our Savior. I pray that __________ chooses to sit at your feet and focus on you. As they do the work you have called them to, help them to remember that you are the most important thing. When they are distracted, as they inevitably will be, draw nearer to them. Amen.Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Jeff Henderson, author, pastor, and Chick-fil-A leader known for leadership teaching and church founding, shares wisdom on living with legacy in mind. He discusses what truly matters at life’s end. He explores parenting choices, the weight of words, prioritizing family over work, and carrying values across generations.

A reflection on the thief on the cross and the hope of last‑minute repentance. Encourages parents to keep presenting the gospel and praying for their children. Shares simple, everyday moments that can lead kids to say yes to Jesus. Reminds listeners there is no fixed timeline for salvation and to trust God’s drawing work.

Marriage can be both deeply challenging and incredibly beautiful, and many couples experience seasons of disconnection along the way.In this episode, Cheryl Scruggs shares her powerful story of reconciliation after walking through divorce and finding her way back to her husband years later. Together, the conversation explores the realities of marriage, the slow drift that can happen over time, and the hope that restoration is possible, even after deep hurt.We talk about the importance of communication, the danger of letting resentment grow in silence, and the role of community in helping marriages stay healthy. There is also practical encouragement for women who want to be more intentional in their relationships and create space for honesty and healing.This episode is a reminder that while marriage takes work, it is also a place where God can bring growth, redemption, and renewed connection.Here are the verses she shared!Matthew 19:26With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.Deuteronomy 8:2 (read full chapter too)Remember how the Lord your God led you all the way in the wilderness these forty years, to humble and test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands.Ephesians 3:20Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.Chapters:00:00 Navigating Life's Challenges03:02 The Journey of Marriage Ministry06:02 Crisis in Marriage: Recognizing the Signs09:09 Building a Stronger Connection11:59 The Importance of Vulnerability in Relationships19:20 Navigating the Transition to Empty Nesting22:02 The Importance of Nurturing Intimacy24:34 Overcoming Disconnection in Marriage27:32 The Role of Counseling in Strengthening Relationships29:59 Practical Steps to Show Love and Respect31:54 Finding Hope and Redemption in MarriageConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoResources from today’s show:Connect with Cheryl and JeffThriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s podcastThriving Beyond Belief - Cheryl’s newest bookI Do Again - Jeff and Cheryl’s bookOpen a LearningRX centerSign up for Morning MinutePardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

A look at the Mary and Martha story to explore busyness versus resting in Jesus. A reflection on swapping Pinterest-driven perfection for humble service. Personal confessions about missing quiet time when caught up in tasks. Practical concerns about pressuring children to be perfect and a prayerful call to free kids from perfectionism.

Foster care is a journey that holds both deep brokenness and incredible beauty. For many families, it can also feel overwhelming to know how to step in and support children from hard places.In this episode, Meredith Brock, CEO of Proverbs 31 Ministries and a foster and adoptive mom, shares insights from her family’s experience with foster care and how the journey has shaped her faith and motherhood. The conversation explores the realities of caring for vulnerable children, the tension of holding both joy and heartbreak, and the ways God often meets families in their most difficult moments.Together they talk about what it looks like to support children with hard stories, how foster care can refine and stretch a family’s faith, and why the church has such an important role in caring for these kids.It’s also a reminder that supporting the foster care system isn’t limited to becoming a foster parent. Whether through respite care, advocacy, or supporting families already in the system, there are meaningful ways we can all step in and help.00:00 Introduction and Personal Background05:53 The Call to Foster Care11:57 The Importance of Community Support17:58 Respite Care and Community Involvement24:07 Personal Growth Through Foster CareConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with MeredithConnect with Proverbs 31 on InstagramProverbs 31 MinistriesFoster the Family Open a LearningRX centerSign up for Morning MinuteChristian ParentingPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

But Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26 ESV)Jairus was a synagogue leader and a man of status and faith. When his young daughter became deathly ill, he desperately fell at Jesus’s feet and pleaded for him to come and heal her. Jesus agreed, but on the way news reached them that Jairus’s daughter had died. The fellow leaders looked at Jairus and said, “Why bother the teacher anymore?” because she was already dead (Mark 5:35). But Jairus refused to believe death had the final word, and he put his hope in Jesus. When they arrived at the house, Jesus commanded the little girl to get up, and she did!“Why bother?” is a question filled with doubt, finality, and despair. Our world is hard and that makes people question the goodness of God. Why bother? How could God let bad things happen to good people? Where is God when things are this bad?Our kids will face those questions their entire lives. But Jesus does, indeed, have the final word. He told Jairus, “Don’t be afraid; just believe” (Mark 5:36), and he repeatedly tells us the same. We can show our kids how to put their whole faith in Jesus and how to trust him even when others say it’s too late, or too silly, or too difficult. God’s ability to perform miracles in our life has not changed, because he is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8). We should find great hope in that!This week, let’s pray that our kids believe that God can do the impossible and have a faith that they hold onto even when the world says to them, “Why bother?”Jesus, I pray that __________ puts their hope in you. Give them a faith that believes in your possibilities. When things are hard, and the rest of the world says to give up or that faith is pointless, may they remember your promises and call on you for help. Help them to recall the miracles you have performed before and give them hope to see those miracles again. Amen.From blindness to healing with Kylie WhiteIf you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Many families today are navigating life with neurodivergent children, from ADHD to dyslexia to autism, and it can feel overwhelming to know how to best support them.In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Kelly Cagle, host of Parenting IQ, who has a passion for helping moms create refreshing rhythms at home. She shares personal stories, research-backed insight, and practical ways parents can better support kids with ADHD.One of my favorite parts of this conversation was her encouragement for parents to truly understand their kids, to see the unique and beautiful way their brains process the world. It can be tempting to try to force neurodivergent kids into more typical patterns of behavior, but when we learn how their brains work, we can lead with empathy and help set them up to thrive.I learned so much from this conversation, and I think it will really encourage parents walking this road.00:00 Introduction to the Podcast and Hosts01:12 Personal and Professional Background of Dr. Kelly Cagle03:05 Understanding ADHD: Definitions and Personal Experiences05:30 Challenges in Traditional Education for ADHD Children10:59 The Impact of Society and Genetics on ADHD15:52 Navigating Parenting with ADHD: Systems and Support19:06 Understanding Neurodiversity in Parenting21:42 Homeschooling vs. Traditional Education25:04 Navigating Diagnoses and Labels30:43 Practical Strategies for Parents32:00 The Journey of Writing a BookConnect with Pardon The Mess:Christian ParentingPardon The Mess Courtney DeFeoORDER YOUR 2026-2027 PRAYER JOURNAL NOWResources from today’s show:Connect with KellyParenting IQ Podcast7 Personal Systems to Lower StressADHD is awesome by Penn HoldernessSign up for Morning MinuteOpen a LearningRX centerThe Hunt for the KrakenLives of Faith and Grace seriesPardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. (Ephesians 3:20–31)One of the most talked about miracles of Jesus is his feeding five thousand people from five loaves of bread and two fish. Imagine being there, listening to Jesus powerfully preach with thousands of other people. It was lunchtime and everyone was hungry and cranky (hangry, if you will); the people needed to eat! But all there was to eat was a small basket of five loaves of bread and two fish from a little boy. That boy willingly offered up his small lunch to Jesus. He didn’t have enough, but what he had he gave to Jesus, trusting that he would use it for good.We don’t know what resources our kids will have when they grow up. No matter what they have, God calls them to be generous with it. God is in the business of multiplying.Whatever we have to offer God, he will multiply it. Whether that’s our financial resources, serving others, encouraging others, or spreading the gospel, he will take what we have capacity to give, and he will make it even more. This work requires trust and sacrifice from us; we have to give it away for God to use it. But it is not dependent on our efforts. It’s not our efforts or resources that will change lives and bring people to Jesus; it is God working through our efforts and resources.Let’s pray that our kids are generous with their resources and giftings so that God can work through them to expand his kingdom.Jesus, thank you for taking care of us. I pray that __________ will view their resources and gifts as a blessing from you and hold them loosely, knowing that if they offer them up to you, you will multiply them and bring more people to you. May they always remember that there are no small parts in God’s kingdom. Amen.If you love this episode and don’t have your copy of A Great Cloud of Witnesses yet, it’s not too late to get yours! Go ChristianParenting.org to get your copy and follow along. And don’t forget to tune in to Pardon the Mess every Monday for more prayer episodes. Order A Great Cloud of Witnesses todayPardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.orgOur Sponsors:* Check out Avocado Green Mattress: https://avocadogreenmattress.com/MESSPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy