Connected Parenting

Some children don’t just feel things… they feel everything.The disappointment of a small mistake.The frustration of something not going their way.The quiet belief that somehow, they’re not enough.And as a parent, it can feel overwhelming to watch.You want to help, but nothing seems to land in the moment.In this episode, Jennifer Kolari takes us beneath the surface of those big emotional reactions to understand why some children experience the world with such depth and intensity. And she shares how with the right support, these deeply feeling children don’t just learn to cope, they grow into resilient, empathetic, and capable adults.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Sensitive, Intense Kids (00:00)The Role of the Nervous System (01:43)The Concept of Shame (03:17)Building Distress Tolerance (05:17)Practical Strategies for Parents (06:11)The Importance of Emotional Safety (08:20)Lifelong Challenges and Support (09:33)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

“I need it. No, I really need it.”Whether it’s a toy, a treat, or something trending, many parents have that moment of thinking, that’s definitely not a need.But beneath the meltdowns and intensity is something deeper.This isn’t just about kids being dramatic, it’s about brain development, emotional regulation, and learning to handle discomfort.In this episode, Jennifer explains why children genuinely feel like they need what they want, and how their developing brains make it hard to tell the difference.She explores how impulse control, dopamine, and emotional intensity all play a role and how parents can respond with both empathy and clear boundaries.Because while it’s important to hold the limit, it’s just as important to acknowledge the feeling behind it.For a child, in that moment… it really does feel like a need.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Needs vs. Wants in Parenting (00:00)The Role of Parents as Substitute Frontal Lobes (02:19)Pleasure vs. Happiness and the Novelty Trap (04:45)Modeling Delayed Gratification and Practical Tools (08:24)Gratitude Reflection and Emotional Maturity (12:23)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Why is it that children seem calm, cooperative, and well-behaved with teachers, relatives, babysitters, or even the other parent but when they get home to mom, everything unravels?This is not necessarily a sign that something is going wrong.In many cases, it’s actually a sign that something is going right.Children often release their biggest emotions with the person they feel safest and most connected to. This episode explores why this dynamic happens so often with moms, how nervous systems and attachment play a role, and how parents can understand these moments differently.Parenting requires an incredible amount of emotional labor, and this episode offers both reassurance and perspective for parents who feel like they’re carrying the heaviest part of their child’s emotional world.Jennifer's Takeaways:Understanding Why Children React Differently to Moms (00:00)The Role of Nervous Systems in Parenting (02:41)Challenges Moms Face in Parenting (04:36)Strategies for Moms to Cope (07:58)Encouraging Joy and Healthy Connections (11:20)Balancing Emotional Load and Self-Care (15:12)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

This episode is one of the most difficult Jennifer has ever recorded.Like many parents, she is feeling the weight of the news cycle and the stories involving children that can shake our sense of safety and stability. When events like this appear in the headlines, it can leave parents asking the same painful questions:How do I talk to my child about this?What if they’ve already heard about it?How do I keep them informed without frightening them?This episode is not about fear, sensationalizing tragedy, or overwhelming children with information. Instead, Jennifer focuses on practical ways parents can support their children emotionally when disturbing news enters their world.Jennifer's Takeaways:Overview of the Connected Parents Project (01:07)Challenges of Modern Dating for Parents (03:42)Navigating Relationship Stages and Labels (06:33)Building Connection and Trust in Parenting (16:03)Addressing Digital Influences and Technology (30:34)Teaching Relationship Skills to Children (30:46)Balancing Privacy and Secrecy in Parenting (46:00)Supporting Boys and Healthy Masculinity (47:07)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Dating can bring up a very specific kind of parent anxiety, especially when you add in social media, texting, AI, and changing relationship norms that look nothing like what many of us grew up with. In this guest episode, I sit down with Lianne Lee and Sarah Winstanley from the ConnectED Parents Project (powered by SHIFT: The Project to End Domestic Violence at the University of Calgary) for a grounded, non–fear-based conversation on how to prepare kids for healthy relationships long before dating begins.Instead of “lock it down” parenting, this episode focuses on building skills early, strengthening connection, and helping kids develop an internal compass for what feels safe, respectful, and aligned.Jennifer's Takeaways:Overview of the Connected Parents Project (01:07)Challenges of Modern Dating for Parents (03:42)Navigating Relationship Stages and Labels (06:33)Building Connection and Trust in Parenting (16:03)Addressing Digital Influences and Technology (30:34)Teaching Relationship Skills to Children (30:46)Balancing Privacy and Secrecy in Parenting (46:00)Supporting Boys and Healthy Masculinity (47:07)Learn more:WebsiteInstagramLinkedInMeet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

As parents, we often believe that authority comes from volume, big consequences, or control but true leadership is rooted in regulation.When we escalate, our children’s brains register danger and shut down learning and empathy. When we stay steady, we teach them how to manage big emotions, tolerate distress, and repair after conflict.This episode is not about being perfect. It’s about awareness, self-compassion, and repair. I share why children borrow our nervous systems, how to notice your own triggers, and simple strategies to regulate yourself in heated moments from breathing and softening your tone to repairing when you miss the mark.Calm is not weakness. It’s containment. It’s love. And every time you choose steadiness over escalation, you’re shaping your child’s nervous system for life.Jennifer's Takeaways:The Strength in Calm: Introduction to Connected Parenting (00:00)The Importance of Self-Regulation and Loving Leadership (01:00)The Impact of Parental Emotional State on Children (02:44)Self-Compassion and Repairing Dysregulation (04:46)Strategies for Staying Calm and Modeling Regulation (06:25)The Long-Term Benefits of Calm Parenting (09:35)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

To the loyal dads who listen regularly, thank you. Your presence here matters more than you know. And to the moms quietly cueing up a three-minute clip to share in the kitchen or on a car ride, this one is for you too.I want to say this clearly: fathers matter. Not as backup parents. Not as helpers. Not as secondary support. Fathers shape nervous systems. You shape self-worth. You shape how your children experience safety, confidence, boundaries, and the world itself.In this episode, I talk about something I call “The Father Effect.” When a dad slows down, makes eye contact, mirrors emotion, and listens without immediately fixing, it lands with extraordinary power that resonates deeply and often generationally.I also speak to a hard truth with compassion: many men were raised with a very narrow emotional rulebook. Be strong. Don’t cry. Don’t feel too much. And if you do feel something big, let it be anger. But emotions don’t disappear when they’re suppressed, they come out sideways.This episode is an invitation. Not to be tougher or louder but to be braver in a different way. To be steady. To be soft. To listen first. To lead from love, not fear.Because when fathers are present, regulated, and emotionally available, children thrive.And what you model today will echo in the adults your children become.Jennifer's Takeaways:Fathers Matter: Introduction and Acknowledgment (00:00)The Power of Fatherhood (01:22)The Father Effect: Attunement and Emotional Connection (02:19)Balancing Authority and Presence (05:49)The Role of Emotional Maturity (11:05)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

Every child faces challenges when it comes to stepping outside their comfort zone—whether it's trying a new food, petting an unfamiliar dog, or speaking up in class.But what if we could gently guide them to embrace these moments of bravery? Imagine the confidence they could build and the doors that could open when they learn to navigate the unknown.In this week's replay, we explore how to strengthen your child's courage muscle, especially for those who are naturally hesitant. You'll learn practical strategies to help them take small, meaningful risks that lead to greater confidence, joy, and resilience.Jennifer's Takeaways:Building a Child's Courage Muscle (00:00)Starting the Conversation and Setting Small Goals (03:08)The Role of Imagination and Visualization (04:34)Acting It Out and Maintaining a Playful Approach (06:29)Parental Support and Neutrality (07:26)Creating an Accomplishment Book (09:13)The Long-Term Nature of Parenting (10:07)The Importance of Risk-Taking and Growth (10:57)Resources and Support (11:39)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

I’ve had many requests from listeners asking for a refresher on the CALM Technique, and while I often direct people to earlier episodes, I think it’s time to go over it again.In this replay episode, we’ll break down how to use the CALM Technique effectively, especially when dealing with teenage boys, who can sometimes be a little more challenging to connect with.Whether you're parenting a fiery toddler, a sensitive pre-teen, or a moody adolescent, this episode will provide practical examples and real-life scenarios to help you de-escalate conflicts, improve communication, and strengthen your relationship with your child.|If your child isn’t a teen yet—don’t worry, they will be soon! And if you have daughters, this technique is universally helpful for all kids.Tune in for a deep dive into CALM and how to apply it in everyday parenting.In today’s episode, we’ll explore:Introduction to the Calm Technique and Oxytocin (00:00)The Four Steps of the Calm Technique (03:35)Scenarios and Practical Applications (08:25)Advanced Techniques and Tips (23:01)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in th US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).

In this episode of Connected Parenting, we dive into a powerful visual and verbal tool that helps kids regulate their behavior and emotions called the "Stoplight Technique" (also known as Red Light, Green Light).As parents, one of our greatest challenges is guiding our kids through big feelings and impulsive behavior without losing our own cool. That’s where this simple yet effective method comes in.Listen in to hear me explain how the stoplight framework teaches children cause and effect, emotional regulation, and personal accountability, all in a way that’s age-appropriate and easy to apply at home or in the classroom.It gives them a clear visual anchor to understand what’s expected, and when things need to pause or shift.You’ll also learn how to modify the strategy for teenagers (because let’s be honest, a red light chart on the fridge might not go over so well at 15), and why this tool can be just as helpful for you as the parent.Whether your child struggles with emotional outbursts, transitions, or impulsive behavior, this episode offers a compassionate, practical way to build emotional intelligence together.Jennifer's Takeaways:Red Light, Green Light Technique Overview (00:00)Explanation of Red Light, Green Light Behaviors (01:05)Handling Yellow Light Behaviors (03:01)Applying the Technique to Teenagers (06:57)Using the Technique for Consistency and Flexibility (11:36)Meet Jennifer KolariJennifer Kolari is the host of the “Connected Parenting” weekly podcast and the co-host of “The Mental Health Comedy” podcast. Kolari is a frequent guest on Nationwide morning shows and podcasts in the US and Canada. Her advice can also be found in many Canadian and US magazines such as; Today’s Parent, Parents Magazine and Canadian Family.Kolari’s powerful parenting model is based on the neurobiology of love, teaching parents how to use compassion and empathy as powerful medicine to transform challenging behavior and build children’s emotional resilience and emotional shock absorbers.Jennifer’s wisdom, quick wit and down to earth style help parents navigate modern-day parenting problems, offering real-life examples as well as practical and effective tools and strategies.Her highly entertaining, inspiring workshops are shared with warmth and humour, making her a crowd-pleasing speaker with schools, medical professionals, corporations and agencies throughout North America, Europe and Asia.One of the nation’s leading parenting experts, Jennifer Kolari, is a highly sought- after international speaker and the founder of Connected Parenting. A child and family therapist with a busy practice based in San Diego and Toronto, Kolari is also the author of Connected Parenting: How to Raise A Great Kid (Penguin Group USA and Penguin Canada, 2009) and You’re Ruining My Life! (But Not Really): Surviving the Teenage Years with Connected Parenting (Penguin Canada, 2011).