Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Kyra Lehman speaks about her experience as a dancer, mother, filmmaker and with disability. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of the course, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming Activate Your Inner Jaguar course.

In this episode, Stan, and Kara discuss their new co-authored book "Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents." Many couples experience new challenges in their relationship after the birth of a new baby and need tools and support for navigating these common issues. They discuss "primitives" and "ambassadors" as terms for people in relationship, maintaining presence and attention during sex, and the importance of committing to shared values as a relationship buoy during the postpartum period where both parents, and especially the birthing partner, are pushed to new edges. Bio Dr. Stan and Kara Hoppe, M.A. co-authored Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents. Baby Bomb is based on the premise that successful partnering is the first step for couples to become successful parents. Kara Hoppe has an M.A. in Clinical psychology, and is a feminist, mother, and teacher. Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT is a teacher, clinician, researcher, and developer of the Psychobiological Approach to Couples Therapy® (PACT). Stan has written dozens of academic articles and six bestselling books. What They Share --Primitives vs. Ambassadors in relationships --Managing stress during the postpartum period --Nurturing relationship while nurturing baby --Sexual re-negotiations postpartum --Witnessing and tending to after a new baby What You'll Hear --How a baby changes a relationship and maintaining it --"Primitives" run show when stress is present and operate on more primitive instincts --What keeps us behaving properly is a shared idea of why we do what we do --Tendencies under stress to act and react automatically instead of pausing and reflecting --Pro-self vs. pro-relationship --Primitive as lower-brain functions and ambassadors as part of brain that correct errors, predict, plan, mediate impulses and emotion --Helping couples create shared space where both people can be themselves with safety and security --Both partners push and agree to limits and boundaries --Acknowledging and starting dialogue when one is feeling neglected or disconnected --Nurturing couple relationships as priority along with parenting --Using inclusive language to mitigate difficult conversations in relationship --Stress and transition of new child on relationship --Working preventatively on relationships --Any physical contact is meaningful for a stressed relationship postpartum --Sex renegotiations in relationship after a child --Presence, attention, curiosity with the partner enhances love-making and relationship satisfaction --Grieving process of loss of two-person couplehood versus becoming parents --Readjust to reality of emotions, body, libido changing after a baby --Witnessing individual and partner developmental changes as one would with the baby --Libido as life force energy and emotional energy --Libidinal energy is a concern for parenting and in partnerships --First 18 months of development critical and consistent contact for right-brain --Equality can't mean sameness in postpartum; Birthing person needs more care postpartum --Partner offering care, comfort, and resources to birthing partner --Being okay with feeling vulnerable and being needy postpartum --Biologically mother regulates baby and partner regulates mother --Pair-bond to raise baby together with both parents --Attachment orientation differences in couples therapy --Gender stereotypes in sexual desire and couples therapy --"Bids" in postpartum where one seeks out connection from partner --Purpose over feeling and principles that protect us from whimsy of our feelings --Importance of humility and acknowledging wrong-doing in partnerships and families --Relationships as practice Resources Website: https://www.karahoppe.com/baby-bomb-book IG: @karahoppe @drstantatkin

In this episode, Kimberly and Kate discuss regenerative cooking, the GAPS (Gut And Psychological/Physiological Syndrome) diet, and healing through building and regenerative foods. Kate explains the origin of the GAPS diet and its impact on children with autism, as well as what foods the GAPS diet uses, They also discuss how regenerative cooking is important for vaginal health and other women's health issues and experiences, ancestral lineages of meat and plant nutrition, and how to introduce probiotic foods into your diet. Kate is teaching a free upcoming class as well as offering a new course starting in March. Bio Kate Pope is a Functional Nutritional Therapy Practitioner and founder of Regenerative Cooking School. Regenerative Cooking School teaches people the foundations of therapeutic cooking providing recipes, cooking instructions, 1:1 sessions, group coaching, and classes. The GAPS Diet, or GAPS Nutritional Protocol rebuilds a damaged gut using animal fats and proteins, homemade probiotic foods, seasonal fruits and vegetables, nourishing liquids and a variety of lifestyle-based detoxification methods so that you can heal the root cause of your disease. What They Share –What the GAPS diet is –How to implement GAPS diet –Women's health and the gut –Kate's upcoming cooking class What You'll Hear –GAPS protocol –GAPS syndrome address Gut AND Psychology/Physiology Syndrome –Use food to rebuild gut lining, homemade fermented foods to rebalance microflora in gut –Microbiome working healthily improved cognition in children with autism –Different approaches to implementing diet for children (cold turkey & gradual) –Women's health issues –Autoimmune problems, bacterial overgrowth, vaginal issues, etc. –Vaginal infections related to gut microbiome –Antibiotics wipe out beneficial flora and create environment for candida –Important to use probiotic foods when taking antibiotics –Candida (yeast) needs to be consumed to balance microbiome of vagina and gut –Elimination diets vs. rebuilding through GAPS protocol –Meat stock, organ meats, egg yolks, etc. to repair gut lining with homemade probiotic foods –GAPS timeline should be 3 months to 2 years to implement consistently –Sourcing locally and knowing farmer's feeding –Ethical concerns around eating meat –Vegan diets never existed ancestrally –Closer to equator lineages tend to eat more plants –Can source meat ethically –Building foods (meat and meat products) vs. cleansing foods (plants) –Kate shares feeling sad and connecting to diet –Eating raw egg yolks (yogurt, kefir, raw milk) –Kate eats half cup of fat a day, 6-8 egg yolks, 32 oz kefir, ghee –GAPS diet slow and steady bringing in powerful, healing foods –Slowly introducing probiotics and probiotic food depending on how one reacts individually –Introduce new foods slowly for 5 days then introduce more –Kate's offerings Resources Website: www.regenerativecookingschool.com IG: @thewildnutritionist

In this episode, Kimberly and Octavia discuss Octavia's upcoming book "Pause, Rest, Be: Stillness Practices for Courage During Times of Change." Octavia describes her relationship to rest, stillness, and restoration, and the circumstances in her life that led her to honoring the importance of rest. They discuss how many of us assume fast-paced lives and are often confronted with our own challenges around rest during early postpartum. They also discuss how meaningful rest is deeply restorative and invites us to understand our most authentic selves. Bio Octavia Raheem is an author, yoga teacher, and proud mother and wife. She has received national attention for her work training yoga teachers and diversifying the yoga industry and has been featured in Yoga Journal, Mantra Magazine, and more. She is the author of "Gather" and her upcoming book "Pause Rest Be: Stillness Practices for Courage During Times of Change." She is committed to being well-rested and free. What She Shares: –Importance of modeling rest for family –What meaningful rest is –How Octavia developed relationship to rest –How upcoming book discusses prioritizing rest during pandemic What You'll Hear: –Being mothers, authors, running businesses –Describes modeling rest practices for son and family –Rest is fuel –Restorative practices –Living with the pause –Learned importance of taking better care of self through motherhood –Finding rest during the never-ending "to do" list –Former public school teacher, Cross-Fitter, power yoga practitioner, yoga teacher –Describes experiencing condition and hospitalization from overworking, dehydration, and overworking muscles –Describes worrying in hospital over working and responsibilities –Nurse introduced her to rest, stillness, and pausing –Devotion to rest was conceived in the hospital –How postpartum experience forces us to slow down and question our relationship to rest –Rest as a lover –Discovering authentic self in a place asking nothing from me –Simple rest practice: sit for one minute, notice, and feel –Book describes rest situated during pandemic –Reading of excerpt from upcoming book –An invitation into the pause –Power of transmission through words to rest and pause –Accessing rest in a plethora of ways –Describes beginning book about "endings," writing in June 2020 –Endings always before beginnings and becoming –Collective and communal honorings of endings Resources Website: https://octaviaraheem.com/ IG: @octaviaraheem

In this episode, Kimberly and Bethany discuss "The Lost Daughter" (2021) which follows Leda (Olivia Colman), a middle-aged woman on holiday in Greece as she recalls her experiences as a wife, professor, and mother. The film has received much critical and popular attention, but particularly caught the attention of Bethany Saltman, researcher of attachment, for its complex and nuanced perspective into Leda's experience as a mother. Together, Kimberly and Bethany analyze the film from their backgrounds in attachment, somatic experiencing, and nervous system perspectives. Bethany and Kimberly discuss the film on a live Zoom call. Bio Bethany Saltman is a longtime researcher, writer, Zen student, and author of "Strange Situation: A Mother's Journey into the Science of Attachment," a book that explains the research and theories behind attachment in addition to describing Bethany's own complex relationship with parenting. Additionally, "The Lost Daughter," directed by Maggie Gyllenhall, is the visual adaptation of the novel written by Elena Ferrante, premiered on Netflix on December 31, 2021 with Olivia Colman, Dakota Johnson, Ed Harris, and more. What She Shares: –Why Bethany and Kimberly wanted to discuss the film –How the film portrays motherhood and humanness in its complexity –Conflict, messiness, and resisting binaries in womanhood and motherhood –Symbolism of various aspects of the film What You'll Hear: –Bethany's background and interest in the film –Split between staying connected to self and child –Desire and motherhood –How film relates to human experience –Physicalness of motherhood portrayed in the film –Leda and young mother's fascination with each other –Physical differences between younger Leda and older Leda –Who is the lost daughter? –Differences between fathers and mothers leaving children –What makes us feel found versus lost? –Why Leda takes the doll –All characters searching to be found –Containment of feeling found –Pendulum between lost and found/attached and contained –Doll as a compulsion, wish fulfillment, trying to go deep into meanness –Crippled by shame causing a dorsal reflex –Layering of sexuality between Leda and Nina –Symbolism of the snake, doll, and worm –Generational attachment is unbreakable (despite pain, trauma, etc) –Ending of Leda being dead or alive –What makes Leda "alive, actually" –Daughter calling Leda after bad haircut demonstrates attachment –Resisting cultural urge to label Leda as good/bad –Village-mindedness versus isolated parenting –Trauma within the film, flashbacks within films as constricting –Trauma as a catch-all for stress, meaningful experiences, etc. –Puritanical demand for everything to be good and if not it is traumatic/wrong –Leaving space for messiness, complexity, contradictions, and ambivalence in human experience –Leda not as a traumatized human, just as a human –Trauma narrative has become another cliche or attempt to understand difficulty and complexity –Assumptions of lack of resilience in cultural understandings Resources Website: bethanysaltman.com IG: @bethany_saltman

In this episode Kimberly and Marisa discuss vocalizing, breathing, and various similarities between singing and somatics. Marisa shares her evolution as a singer and how somatics, embodiment, and understanding her nervous system was fundamental to embracing her natural sound. They also describe how they began working with each other, how creating sound is an embodied practice, and various ways to create our own authentic sound both mechanically and metaphorically. Bio Marisa Michelson is a composer, vocal coach and accomplished award winner at the nexus of theatre, experimental music, opera, new music, and improvisation. She is the Director and Founder of Constellation Chor, has taught various renowned workshops, earned her B.F.A. from NYU in Musical Theater, and is a former yoga instructor. Marisa is currently working on her upcoming book "Free: The Embodied Metaphysics of Singing" as well as various workshops that combine vocalizing and nervous system healing. What She Shares: –Her background in singing and performing –Similarities between singing and somatic experiencing –Bodily mechanics and spiritual metaphors of vocalizing –Voice pitch and gender/authority –How our sounds are ancestral What You'll Hear: –Language similarities between somatic experiencing, embodiment, and vocalizing/singing –Kimberly and Marisa discuss their lessons together –Background in singing, music, and theatre –Coming home to self before performing as a break from tradition in singing/performing –Singing as a genuine way of connecting with self and embodied practice –Paradigm shift while working with singers and composing music after new embodied practice –Founding and codifying music and somatics –Differences in voice pitch in relation to gender and authority –Bodily experience of owning and accepting one's own voice –Practice of valuing what comes out authentically and is internal not changing for external –Various breathing practices prioritize particular ways to breathe but depends on flexibility and context –Having presence and self-awareness with whatever emotions come in singing, speaking, living –Element of control in breathing doesn't allow free relationship to own voice and sound –Authentic expression –Practice "letting go" of breath instead of controlling –Infinite ways for diaphragm to move with sound –Touch and gentle tapping in breath-work for more subtle movement of diaphragm –Magic in the letting go and surrendering of breath and less of controlling in big inhaling of the breath –Existing in a gentler space through breath –Ancestral sounds and imitation versus authenticity –Lack of ritual and ceremony in community in hyper-individualistic culture –Bringing attention to the body and honoring the body –Infinite human sounds existing in our bodies –Our bodies and sounds are ancestral –Artists Marisa enjoys –Music genres as cultures –Upcoming classes and workshops on voice and nervous system Resources Website: https://www.marisamichelsonvocalstudio.com/

In this episode, Kimberly and Kathleen discuss connections between birth, trauma, and breastfeeding. As a researcher and writer on these subjects, Kathleen describes much of her research that centers around birth-related trauma, how trauma affects breastfeeding, as well as secondary trauma experienced by providers and birth workers. They discuss the importance of oxytocin as an antidote to stress, particularly during the early postpartum period. In addition, they discuss how many mothers, care providers, and birth workers experience secondary trauma within labor and delivery units and the importance of more substantial support and postpartum care for mothers. Bio Dr. Kendall-Tackett is a health psychologist and International Board Certified Lactation Consultant, and the Owner and Editor-in-Chief of Praeclarus Press, a small press specializing in women's health. Dr. Kendall-Tackett is Editor-in-Chief of the journal, Psychological Trauma and was Founding Editor-in-Chief of Clinical Lactation. She is Fellow of the American Psychological Association in Health and Trauma Psychology, Past President of the APA Division of Trauma Psychology, and the chair-elect of APA's Publications and Communications Board. Dr. Kendall-Tackett specializes in women's-health research including breastfeeding, depression, trauma, and health psychology, and has won many awards for her work including the 2019 President's Award for Outstanding Contributions to the Field of Trauma Psychology from the American Psychological Association. Dr. Kendall-Tackett has authored more than 470 articles or chapters and is author or editor of 40 books. What She Shares: --Breastfeeding after trauma --Need for more adequate breastfeeding and postpartum care and support --Increasing oxytocin amidst stress and trauma --Mothers' mental health --Secondary trauma experienced by providers and professionals --Plans and hope for future generations in birth, postpartum, and breastfeeding support What You'll Hear: --Connections between trauma and breastfeeding --Birth trauma impacts two key hormones in breastfeeding --Important to honor mother's wishes around breastfeeding --Seeing trauma as opportunity for extra breastfeeding support instead of limiting it --Being careful not to put negative expectations on breastfeeding after trauma --In 80s started identifying birth trauma as factor of postpartum depression --Trauma and context when identifying women's mental health --Uptick in preterm births related to anxiety, stress, and depression --Fish oil/DHA in reducing risk of preterm birth --Three part stress system: Hypothalamus, Pituitary, Adrenal glands --Inflammatory response system also connected to mental health and preterm birth --Oxytocin as a stress fighter which is why breastfeeding is beneficial for mother --Supporting women's decisions and goals for breastfeeding --Tending to our bodies to feel hormonal surges and differences of baby/partner touch --Understaffed lactation consultants in hospital causing lack of support --Study shows epidurals related to lower rates of exclusively breastfeeding --Study of epidurals related to more depression despite other common factors --Postpartum hemorrhage, postpartum surgery, and epidurals all linked to postpartum depression --Needs to be competency checking in with women postpartum much earlier around breastfeeding and mental health --Lack of adequate pelvic floor health --Secondary trauma happens to providers when witnessing trauma --Secondary trauma vs. professional burn-out --Obstetricians and nurse midwives secondary trauma almost always associated with baby --Labor and Delivery nurses note when providers do something or cause unnecessary harm to mothers and babies --"Moral injury" occurs when forced to participate or witnessed something you knew what wrong --"Acts of omission" (failing to stop harm) causing secondary trauma with birth practitioners --Nurses and doulas reporting witnessing harm done they wish they stopped but couldn't --25-35% rates of secondary trauma in providers in US compared to other countries --Sanctuary trauma and institutional betrayal trauma to victims of trauma --Getting used to low-level, chronic stress and effects postpartum --Oxytocin to repair trauma --Oxytocin builders: touching a pet, infant massage, skin to skin on chest, being warm, warm bath, wanted touch, positive social interaction, etc. --Bigger goal of breastfeeding is connecting mother with baby --Importance of supporting mental health of providers --Care-providers knowing where they're vulnerable to avoid secondary trauma --Positive ways to turn off hyper-active stress responses (omega 3s, exercise, cognitive therapy and mindfulness) --Hope for moving forward in repairing traumas and systems and reclamation of birth and postpartum --Early intervention as hope against spiraling from trauma and mental illness Resources Website: https://www.kathleenkendall-tackett.com/ Book: https://stores.praeclaruspress.com/breastfeeding-doesnt-need-to-suck-how-to-nurture-your-baby-and-your-mental-health-by-kathleen-kendall-tackett/?showHidden=true

In this episode, Kimberly and Gina discuss Gina's latest book, a memoir titled Blow Your House Down. Gina shares the emotions she experienced while writing a book that explores her experiences of caregiving to her parents, becoming a mother to three children, having an extra-marital affair, surviving breast cancer, and more. In this conversation, Kimberly and Gina unpack how these common stories are unfavorably received in society but also how our painful stories offer a sense of community and understanding. They also discuss various common experiences of women that are culturally taboo such as anger, eroticism, illness, and affairs and the importance of sharing our stories. Bio Gina Frangello recently released her first memoir Burn Your House Down: A Story of Family, Feminism and Treason to critical acclaim after years of fiction- Every Kind of Wanting, A Life in Men, Slut Lullabies, and My Sister's Continent-- short fiction, essays, book reviews, and journalism have been published in Ploughshares, The Boston Globe, Chicago Tribune, HuffPost, Fence, Five Chapters, Prairie Schooner, Chicago Reader, and many other publications. She recently founded Circe Consulting, teaches editing and writing, and lives with her family in the Chicago area. What She Shares: --Divorce, death of parents, cancer diagnosis, extra-marital affair --Writing as both re-traumatizing and healing --Women's anger as culturally taboo --Themes of marriage, motherhood, caretaking, and illness --Stories of eroticism for all women not just young What You'll Hear: --Describes "The Story of A" --Leaving marriage, father died, diagnosed with breast cancer, having an extra-marital affair --Discusses different literary techniques used to tell life's story --Describes giving herself permission to be vulnerable in memoir --Complexity of being both victim and having agency --Author's choice of only including family members as stories intersect with hers --Discusses experience of writing about hardest moments in her life --Trained as a therapist --Experienced catharsis and emotional impact after readers' feedback about memoir --The "I" as a lens that opens out to more than just writer's story --Book as hybrid of memoir and cultural criticism --Historical look at condition of women in a larger sense --Motherhood and sexuality --Women demonized for anger throughout history --Focus on full range of emotions (anger, fear, compassion, love, desire, etc.) --Anger as a viable emotion part of human experience --Anger overly normalized in men and overly demonized in women --Moving beyond reductive casualties or binaries of good/bad --Reality is more complicated than cultural systems accept --Our choices are often driven by more than just good/bad and are complex --Discusses experience in affair, divorce, and marrying again --Describes story wouldn't have been different if she did not marry man who had an affair with --Pushes back against critiques of story as reinforcing heteronormative marraige norms, redemption after an affair --Resists a "clean reduction of a woman" amidst messiness of life --Different possible outcomes at different stages of her story --Resists fairytale-esque assumptions about her life --Discusses care-taking of mentally ill parent, being a partner to someone with mental health issues, growing up in poverty and around violence, a woman's experience with medical industrial complex --Overlaps of being a woman, mother, wife, lover, daughter, friend, etc. --Explosion of acceptability of writing sexuality by younger women in literary world --Older women not as acceptable to discuss sexuality or bodies of women who are mothers --Importance of including eroticism of older women, disabled women, mothers, etc. --Fetishization of younger women's sexuality and consequences Resources Website: https://www.ginafrangello.org/ www.circeconsulting.net IG: @ginafrangello

In this round table episode, three Jaguar course alumni speak about their unique experiences participating in this deep and transformative course. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of the course, these testimonies speak beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming: Jaguar Wholeness in Fractured Times: A Real World Understanding of the Nervous System and Feminine Sexuality.

In this episode, Kimberly and Richard discuss yoga, spiritual teachings, finding balance within, honoring lineages and history, and community-focused practices versus individualized ones. They discuss the impact of the pandemic on various communities such as the yoga community, acknowledging our shadow selves, and turning our individual yoga and spiritual practices to tangible ways to support and better communities and our world. This episode is rich with Richard's wisdom and understandings of various yogic, Hindu, and Buddhist teachings and principles, his experiences traveling and learning about these lineages, and philosophies for balancing our inner and outer selves to ultimately benefit others. Bio Richard Freeman has been practicing yoga since 1968. He has taught yoga and trained yogas all over the world. His work joins together a vast array of teachings and perspectives, in keeping with the richness of this ancient tradition. You can find more information on Richard's teachings on his website. What He Shares: --Impact of pandemic --Fracturing in yoga communities --Acknowledging and finding balance between our shadow and light selves --Understanding histories and lineages in ancient traditions and practices --Teacher/student power-issues in yoga --Contributing to social good through individual practice What You'll Hear: --Fracturing in yoga community over pandemic --Predispositions toward polarity and fundamentalism --Opposing groups coming together over common enemy --Dealing with unknown and uncomfortable not knowing regarding pandemic --Finding common ground when understand the "other" --Pratipaksha the other wing, bhavana (contemplate the other wing) --Different obstacles where one wing is associated with heavy emotions and cause suffering, contemplate opposite wing of emotion --Practice which visualizes the other in order to cultivate empathy and understanding --Applicable for serious and miniscule problems --Mind slips anything into ego-centered --Not hurting others or yourself --Shadow sides can be projected out or not recognized within oneself --Acknowledging not suppressing shadow potential of own minds --Many yoga/spiritual practices avoid this intellectual honesty --Feel negative emotions in context with other social support to hold and observe --Embody it in a way that doesn't destroy you or others --Discerning intuition, multiple realities, and fundamentalism --Being open to feedback --Balancing and feeling the middle path physically and intellectually --Experimenting physical practice with intellectual/interior life --Impact of social media on brain/mind/energetic system overall --Some social media beneficial in yoga world --Ego/mind are creative and can be used for good or destruction --Social media fast-paced, scary, and mind-blowing --Done in context of ancient historical traditions of insight done slowly over thousands of years --Benefits of social media for community --Convenience and pace of convenience are part of issues regarding community, climate, etc. --Describes time in India through Middle East and Europe during 1970s --Similarities in people of different religions and traditions --Importance of understanding history in religious traditions around the world --Appropriation versus appreciation through understanding history, honoring lineage, and humility --Dynamic of teacher/student relationship in yoga --Discerning teachers, practices, and other aspects of yoga within commodification --Finding the true Teacher (Beloved) in the heart --Many teachers are attracted to power of being the expert --Good teacher encourages you to stay open minded --Epidemic of problem teachers in yoga and spiritual traditions --Hindu teachings on discernment principles --Two-wing image, supportive of each-other, because of intelligence as one --Patterns of immediate sensation giving birth to story lines and labels --Under-pinnings of practice individual work not necessarily impacting the collective --Practicing for self-improvement or for community improvement --Conceding comfort for tangible benefit of other people --Individual practice branching out to ever-expanding environments --Chant together Resources Website: https://www.richardfreemanyoga.com/