Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

In this collection of testimonials, Jaguar course alumni speak about how the Jaguar work and community have supported their journey of healing trauma and widening their capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 6-week course "Activate Your Inner Jaguar - Somatic Healing Through Movement." To sign up for the Movement Edition of Activate Your Inner Jaguar that begins July 12, or to read more about the course and about what other women are saying about Activate your Inner Jaguar go to kimberlyannjohnson.com/jaguar-moves. Bios Kimberly Chan Ko is from Southern California. Mother of a 2 year old girl and 8 year old puppy son, She is an Ophthalmologist who now enjoys teaching physicians how to start ketamine infusion clinics and content marketing. We will hear about Kimberly's discovery of how societal programming and cultural pressures influenced many of her life desisicions — ones that were based out of fear. Her newly discovered sense of grounding and assertiveness has affected her decision making, which now comes more from her gut and is less about people pleasing. Nadia was born and raised in Russia, and lived her adult years in the US, Costa Rica and Thailand. She is currently improvising her way out of a dark period of deconstruction into a more aligned, authentic version of self. On this journey that's happening through the body, Nadia found in Kimberly's work the kind of help and trustworthiness she's been looking for. Bianca Alana Bauer daughter of Silvia Veronica is a single parent of 2 and craft salon owner in Wichita Kansas. Bianca describes a transformational hair cut inspired by orientation work in Jaguar! I hope you will enjoy indulging in her vivid descriptions of finding new-found pleasure with cooking in her kitchen, as much as I did. It is a true sensory experience.

In this episode, Kimberly and Kate discuss navigating the physical, spiritual, and lifestyle changes of perimenopause, menopause, and postmenopause. They discuss the negative associations with perimenopause and menopause based on culture that condition us to view of these life cycles unfavorably. They also discuss parenting during these stages, tending to symptoms with curiosity and kindness, and using the pulls inward to bloom into seasons of second springs and second summers of life. Perimenopause and menopause can be powerful times of tending to ourselves more kindly, reintegrating and healing ourselves from previous life stages, and harnessing the power of intuition and discernment. Bio Kate Codrington is a menstrual and menopause mentor, speaker, workshop facilitator, writer, podcaster and former therapist for nearly 30 years. She is also an artist currently weaving textiles, words, story and stitch. Her first book Second Spring: the self-care guide to menopause is published by HarperCollins and she also has a variety of offerings such as yoga nidra, online classes, and more. What She Shares: —Identifying the perimenopause phase —Cultural anxieties around menopause —Defining perimenopause and menopause —Parenting while transitioning —Tending to extreme symptoms —Superpowers of menopause What You'll Hear: —Peri-menopause —Cultural anxieties surrounding peri-menopause —Gaining weight and losing elasticity during perimenopause —Facing mortality through menopause —Peri-menopause time to examine and let go to life that doesn't serve us —Shedding before moving into new phase of life —Culture making menopausal women invisible contributing to anxiety —Healthcare uninformed generally around menopause —Perimenopause defined as "around menopause" —Symptoms are changes in menstruation from what is normal —More desire to be alone —Health costs to amount of working leading up to menopause —Perimenopause time ranges between months to many years —Negative connotations associated with "postpartum" and "menopause" —Interfering versus accepting peri-menopause and menopause —Parenting during perimenopause —Stages of menopause in relation to seasons and cycles —Oxytocin encouraging sociality in direct conflict with need to withdraw during menopause —Guilt over feelings of needing alone time while parenting —Enormous call of turning inward —Meeting conflict of needing alone time while parenting —Differences of rhythms and slowness within family systems —Changes in relationship to sex during peri-menopause and menopause —Embracing physical changes in vaginal tissue —Staying close to pleasure, safety, and kindness sexually —Endless variations of sexuality and meeting the moment —Post-menopause as "another country" —Reconnecting and reintegrating with former teenage self —Disorientation during losing cycles of menstruation —Ritual, journaling, honoring loss and grief —Being tender and sweet with ourselves moment by moment —Call for attention and kindness —Severe symptoms calling for attention and kindness for treatment —Menopausal super-powers of discernment, intuition, and spirituality —Second spring and second summer of life postmenopause Resources Website: https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/ IG: @kate_codrington

In this conversation, Kimberly and Ishita wonder together about non-dualism, embodiment, culture, ancestral heritage, and more. They discuss Ishita's approach to non-dualism which holds both consciousness of energy while being connected to the body in the present moment. While many spiritual teachings dismiss the body, the body holds wisdom and energy, particularly through the nervous system. Ishita proposes that the nervous system is energy at its core, and we understand the energetic layers and boundaries of our nervous systems, energies, and others'. They also discuss spiritual teachings, cultural differences between India and the U.S., and varying cultural practices as evidence of universal principles. Bio Ishita Sharma serves as a mentor, mirror and activator to those who wish to better our world. She helps them embody their truest purpose while rising beyond ego-centric paradigms through her work of Come to Center. Ishita has coached leaders from Google, Harvard, MIT, Silicon Valley startups and multinationals. Clients come to her to grow and heal through their deepest challenges and longings while held in their perfect wholeness. They include seekers and scientists, therapists and coaches, visionaries and creatives, CEOs and incarcerated youth. What She Shares: —Non-duality and embodiment —Holding space for vulnerability and grief —Energy of the nervous system —Culture and ancestral lineages What You'll Hear: --Holding space for others in grief and anger --Showing up naked and vulnerable --Recognition of one's own suffering --Being honest and curious in the journey --Showing up vulnerable for ourselves and the moment --Non-dual awareness without spiritual bypassing --Growing up in India compared to living in the West --Dissociation, non-awakened states very problematic --Confusion around what awakening is --Many turn to spirituality to turn from trauma sometimes creating conflict --Energetics connecting with nervous system --Field to field interaction --Energy to energy interaction --Nervous system is electrical impulses --How to get with what is --Holding both particularities and universalities --Most of us lost in our ordinary minds (thoughts, emotions, physicality) --Holding messiness of being human --Body holding information versus being untrustworthy in spiritual circles --Dangers of speaking about truths that can only be experienced to be known --Masculine-focused spirituality bypassing wisdom of the body --Rejection of boundaries which should be honored (personal, interpersonal, physicality, etc) --Being in sync with what is not resisting --Over-valuing teachers and spiritual leaders --Lack of secure attachment in US culture --Lack of community, base to sit on, foundation in US culture as opposed to other cultures --Universe is here to support me not antagonize me --Lack of co-regulation in US culture --Ancestral influences in culture that lacks knowledge of ancestry --Void and absence over generations present in us now --Principles of universe across time and culture --Owning what we are ancestrally before learning others --Murmurations --Basics course for embodied meditation Resources Website: https://cometocenter.com/

In this episode, Kimberly and Devi discuss healing trauma, embodiment, and various sexual and non-sexual healing spiritual traditions. Devi describes her background from stripping in Detroit to a spiritual journey of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism as well as various other spiritual practices and her current work of holistic sexual healing. Together, they discuss how some spiritual traditions are needed in various life stages but actually dissociate us from our bodies and pain. They discuss how trauma can be processed, healed, and repaired through Tantra practices and ultimately serve others through that wisdom and healing. Bio Devi Ward Erickson is the Founder of The Institute of Authentic Tantra Education – the first and only government accredited professional training institute using the Tibetan Five Element Tantric practices for holistic sexual healing. She is also an ACS Certified Sexologist, Certified Tantric Healer, Certified Reiki Practitioner, Certified Meditation Instructor, and accomplished practitioner of Tibetan Tantric Buddhism. She specializes in using Authentic Tantra® and "pleasure as medicine" to awaken more joy, more pleasure, more connection, more love in every area of life. What She Shares: —Growing up as a biracial woman —Journey from stripping to becoming a monk —Tibetan Tantra practices —Sexual and non-sexual practices for healing trauma —Repairing trauma cellularly through Tantra What You'll Hear: –Neo-tantra, adaptation and appropriation ancient spiritual science from India thousands of years ago –Tantra originally a system of healing rooted in Africa then travelled to India –Devi shares her background as a biracial woman experiencing racial trauma and violence –Survivor of childhood domestic violence and other traumas –Tantra as path of healing and reclamation of humanity –Authentic tantra vs. neo-tantra –Regulate nervous systems through tantra, meditation, breath, and awareness –Tantra tool-kit for healing trauma with benefits of sexual pleasure –First practice of tantra is mindfulness, creating presence of body –Stigma and glorification of sex work –Serious suicide attempt as rock bottom –Devoted self to spiritual studies, herbal medicine, reiki, meditation, crystal healing, etc. –Moved to NC, took vows to become monk in Ishaya Order –Observing celibacy as part of vows –Sexuality during spiritual and yoga trainings –Describes addiction to dissociative form of meditation –Turned to Tibetan five element tantra after experiencing health issue –"Running the elements" meditation practice as a powerful experience –Non-sexual and sexual Tibetan five element tantra –Had to confront trauma directly for first time –Healing trauma through meditative sexual practices –Genital healing massage techniques –Boundaries in sexological body work and sexual healing traditions –Couples to be sexual healers for each other- sex with intention, focus and purpose –Intergenerational trauma, collective trauma –Creating spaciousness in body and mind to repair cells and trauma –Holding multiple truths with nervous system awareness and tantra practices –Greater capacity to hold apparent, contradictory opposites and serving others Resources Website: https://deviwardtantra.com/ IG: @deviwardtantra

In this episode, Kimberly and Day discuss rituals and reflections for life-altering experiences. Our culture does not hold much space for processing how threshold events change us such as birth, postpartum, death, and all forms of comings and goings in our lives. Day describes what led him to his work of "Morning Altars" and newest book "Hello, Goodbye" which was a series of life-changing moments that he calls "wreckage" and how he pieced together rituals to acknowledge those experiences and their influence. Together, they discuss how to create rituals for all kinds of life moments, especially those which impact us deeply. Bio Day Schildkret is an internationally known artist, teacher, and author. His two books "Morning Altars: A 7-Step Practice to Nourish Your Spirit Through Nature, Art, and Ritual" and "Hello. Goodbye: 75 Rituals for Times of Loss, Celebration, and Change" help readers connect with art, nature, and ritual. His work has been featured on NBC, CBS, as well as BuzzFeed, Vice, Well+Good, and more. What He Shares: –Personal roots behind "Morning Altars" work, when his mother forgot his name –Creating beauty in wreckage - Marking transitions - He's looking for a husband, if you know anyone! –Ritual, acknowledgement, and witnessing life's impactful events What You'll Hear: –Morning Altars came from early fascination with decorating nature –Morning Altars came after break-up with partner and father's death –Low-stakes creativity and ritual in nature –"Being wrecked" and not turning away from the endings of things –"Wreckage" deeply connected to grief and loss and turning towards it –Continuing to live while walking in the world with wreckage –Wonderment and not taking life for granted –Making meaning with life, grief, art, relationships –Experience with mother's dementia –Transforming grief and wreckage into something beautiful –Lit candles thinking of friends and family who loved mother –Creating ritual in pain –Art is putting pieces back together to make something meaningful –"Hello, Goodbye" newest book –Rituals for endings and beginnings –Ritual doesn't lead to answers or solutions –Handing over dream of having a child to friends through ritual –Understanding comings and goings from nervous system perspective –Unacknowledgement of threshold experiences in culture –Unwillingness to slow down and reflect especially in difficult experiences –Rituals help us reorient to what is new and changing –Marking endings and witnessing to new beginnings –Crucial aspect of being witnessed and held during threshold experiences –Ritual allowing expression of feeling and witnessing from others –Loss of ritual in culture, ancestry, and families –"Hello, Goodbye" is a cookbook to awaken capacity to make ritual Resources Website: https://www.morningaltars.com/ IG: @morningaltars

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Jessika and Joanna share about their experiences of being part of the Jaguar community. These testimonies speak beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Kaisa speaks about how growing her knowledge and felt sense experience of the nervous sytem has affected her life, healing, and lens of the world. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

In this testimonial episode, Jaguar course alumni Michelle speaks about how the Jaguar work and community have supported her journey of healing trauma and widening her capacity to actively and presently engage with life. As Kimberly and her team prepare for the next round of Jaguar, this testimony speaks beautifully to the type of experience you might find in the upcoming 4 week course "Jaguars Uncaged – The Anatomy of Feminine Spirituality". Learn more here.

In this episode, Kimberly and Melissa discuss Melissa's several books, including "Girlhood" and "Body Work". They discuss writing personal experiences and its impact on close relationships, as well as mother/daughter dynamics, writing as a medium for processing shame and trauma, and cultural responses to women's stories of coming of age, consent, trauma, sex work, and more. Bio Melissa Febos is an author and an assistant professor at the University of Iowa, Nonfiction writing program. She is author of four books, including the nationally bestselling essay collection, "GIRLHOOD," which is a LAMBDA Literary Award finalist and won the National Book Critics Circle Award in criticism. "GIRLHOOD" was named a notable book of 2021 by NPR, Time, The Washington Post, and others. Her craft book, "BODY WORK" (2022), was also a national bestseller and an Indie Next Pick. What She Shares: –Experiences writing books about self, sex, and traumas –Family responses to writing –Cultural responses to stories of sex, shame, etc. –Writing as part of reparative process –Newest book Body Work What You'll Hear: –Power of story-telling –Openness of media and culture for book like Girlhood –Bringing topics of sex and affirmative consent on national television –Experiences of stalker and associated traumas –Doing the difficult work for self and relationships –Experience of cuddle parties and consent –Awareness and consent as a life's work –Process of writing and remembering –Love and tenderness for past selves –Mother's experience of reading book about harm and adolescence –Complexities of trauma for girls, women, and mothers –Difficulties of traumatic experiences for mothers and daughters –Mothers' experiences knowing details of daughters' trauma –Process of writing narrative fueling healing with privacy before publishing –Taking time necessary for writing –Victim-blaming regarding sexual assault –Quick to suppress personal desires in relation to others' –Conflicts in female friendships building resiliency and love –Social conditioning for girls to please others over selves –Bodies, aspirations, talents as an "affront to femininity" –Experience becoming a sex worker –Internal conflicts due to second-wave feminism –Feeling safe exploring parts of sexual self through dominatrix work –Backlash from community after publishing experience in sex work –New book Body Work Resources Website: https://www.melissafebos.com/ IG: @melissafebos

In this episode, Kimberly and Gil discuss human anatomy and Gil's years of dissection projects and publications. Gil offers a wealth of information he has learned about the body through his dissection work and how his reverence for the human form fuels his projects. Specifically, they discuss various aspects of fascia, nerve trees, adipose tissue, and more, as well as how culture both politicizes the body and dispossesses various aspects of it, perhaps leading to a larger spiritual issue and evolution of our time. Bio Gil Hedley, Ph.D., earned a doctorate in theological ethics from the Divinity School of the University of Chicago, and also became a Certified Rolfer at the Rolf Institute in Boulder, CO. His combined interests and training has supported his personal exploration of the human body to develop an integral approach to the study of human anatomy. Through hands-on human dissections courses in the laboratory and lecture presentations, he has encouraged thousands of fellow "somanauts" to appreciate, explore and embody the wonders of human form. He has published a number of books, created online access through livestream courses to the wonders of the dissection process, and produced The Integral Anatomy Series, a set of four feature-length videos documenting my whole body, layer-by-layer approach through on-camera dissection. His current project, Anatomy from A to Z, is a comprehensive and inspiring year-long exploration of two forms through the Integral Anatomy lens. What He Shares: –Dissection and anatomy projects –Complexities of nerves and fascia –Differences between male and female forms –Difference between natural tears and incisions –Spiritual components of dissection work –Dispossession and politicization of the body in culture What You'll Hear: –Explains Anatomy from A-Z Project –Comprehensive archive of human body recorded –Dissected bones, muscles, tissues, and vasculature on camera –Shares experience dissecting cadaver –Traumatic experience over dissection work and had to adjust emotionally –Intentionally making body connection through dissection work –Connection with families of donors of bodies for project –Learned accidents, traumas, various issues, and emotional experience regarding donors –Nerves are structural, have physical context (not abstract) –"Underdog fascia" and multilayered fascia –Native connective tissue density –IT band structures –Emotional components associated with superficial fascia –Female form has denser, deep fascia and thicker, superficial fascia generally –Dispossession of fat as suppression of feminine in our culture –Culture has problematized and medicalized birth disrupting the process –Traumatized doctors try to control birth to avoid ongoing trauma related to death –Psychological pall thrown over women give impression not capable of birthing –Tears in birth assist with natural process –Episiotomies damage nerves in ways that natural tears do not –Increase in tears and severity in connection with culture –Oversimplification of tissues and meanings such as vagus nerve –How he came to dissect genitals –Took years of dissecting to find erectile tissues of clitoris –Wants to film nerve system dissection, process important –Vaginal work with reverence –From PTSD to helping others process anatomy work –Group processing and shared experiences assisting in dissection work –Energetic relationship to forms –Experiencing the whole form –Self-acceptance and rejection of cultural standards –Politicization of bodies and spiritual problem in identity politics Resources Website: gilhedley.com