Sex Birth Trauma with Kimberly Ann Johnson

This podcast we discuss attachment theory and the nervous system. We talk about navigating relationships as new moms and as partners, co-dependence vs. interdependence and how mom, partner and baby's needs can all be met allowing everyone's cup to be full. In this episode Ellen shares: How attachment affects our nervous systems and relationships with our children and our partners. The reality of coming from an adulthood of independence into motherhood The challenges of preparing for the unknown The kind of family we can create where everyone can get there needs met How to preserve a great relationship and couple primacy What You'll Hear: Attachment theory 101 (2:00) What is regulation of affect emotions and feelings (4:30) How are we showing regulation of affect (7:30) Will these feelings effect my children – who's regulating the regulator? (10:00) The unique role of single parenting and co-regulation (13:30) Coming into parenthood from an adulthood of self-reliance and independence (16:00) It's not personal failure (18:00) Co-dependence vs. Interdependence (19:00) Separations and reunions (26:00) How to help ease transitions (28:00) Asking for help (32:00) What can you do ahead of time to continue marital satisfaction before baby (35:00) The couple bubble (40:00) I feel disconnected from my partner, is it too late to start? (45:00) What do you want to shout from your megaphone? (53:00) Ellen Boeder, MA, LPC has been a licensed psychotherapist since 2003, primarily working with women in a range of healing contexts. Her experience includes working with teenage girls in residential treatment, helping women recover from eating disorders, and facilitating women moving through trauma, addiction, mood, and relationship crises. She has a strong background in yoga and meditation, and her graduate training in Transpersonal Psychology also deeply inform her work. Since becoming a wife and a mother to two children (now 6 and 8 years old) she works primarily with couples. Ellen is trained in PACT, a therapeutic modality founded by Stan Tatkin, PsyD., that synthesizes attachment theory, neuroscience, affect regulation models to support couples in creating an enduring and nourishing relationship through secure functioning. Ellen is on faculty for The Relationship School, founded by her husband, Jayson Gaddis, and she also writes a blog on motherhood and relationship. With warmth and eloquence, Ellen brings her lived experience as a woman, wife, and mother into her understanding as a clinician. Find Ellen: www.ellenboeder.com www.rearrangedbymotherhood.com www.thepactinstitute.com www.relationshipschool.net

Jennifer Laurin is the creator and founder of Shunya Gates Temple and a Certified Tantra Counselor. A yoga practitioner and meditator, she is at work on a book entitled Unconditional Family, based on her own experience of maintaining family while dissolving marriage. In this episode, Jennifer shares: What Tantra is Why both men and women need to take the pressure off the cock Is erectile dysfunction actually sexual maturity? How to dissolve marriage without losing family What You'll Hear: Definition of Tantra (2:02) Introduction of the 'Song of Mahamudra' - Tilopa's Mahamudra Teaching to Naropa. (4:30) What is offered in Tantric Counseling sessions. (7:00) Making decisions from our own unique Yes (10:30) Taking pressure off the cock (15:20) Kimberly's experience with a partner who had erectile dysfunction (18:30) Myth busting about male arousal (20:00) If not cock, what? (23:00) Message to women about taking the pressure off the cock. (28:00) Men need foreplay too! (32:00) "Erectile dysfunction" or sexual maturity? (39:00) Alternative way to look at relationship transitions (49:00) Definition of right relationship (50:00) Family as an active living network of people who continue to know each other and support each other. (55:00) Give yourself permission to chart your own path. (61:00)

Tema Mercado is a Xicana mother of five children, wife and licensed midwife. I asked her to be on the Magamama podcast because I have had the privilege of watching her practice midwifery. I wanted to ask her about her dual practice in Tijuana and San Diego, to hear about how the birth center project in Tijuana is going, and also to talk about cultural appropriation in the birth community. I wanted to open dialogue for her concerns and desires for how we use the ancient technology in modern times, while being respectful. In this episode Tema shares: The differences between doulas, homebirth midwives, and certified nurse midwives How she found creative ways to provide health care to Haitian migrants in Mexico Thoughts on using ancient technology in modern culture Tema shares what adequate postpartum care looks like What you'll hear: The realization of what Tema witnessed daily as a rape advocate and midwife (3:45) What midwives take on that doulas don't (8:00) The three different types of midwives (13:00) The "Casa de La Salud" birth center (16:00) Tema's main goals of helping the Haitian migrants (20:00) Getting creative to provide prenatal care for Haitian migrants (25:00) The paradigm shift in Mexican birth culture throughout the years (30:00) The hypocrisy of the ancient technology being used today (37:00) Tema shares how she creates her postpartum practices and courses for new moms (43:00) Casa de la Salud birth center in Tijuana and the need for midwives in Mexico (50:00) To contribute to the Birth Center: https://www.youcaring.com/biancatemamercado-949385?fb_action_ids=10155176992783068&fb_action_types=youcaringcom%3Adonate To contribute to the Amazon wish list: http://www.lamatrizbirth.com/parteras-fronterizas/

In this episode, Juna and Kimberly talk about intuition. What exactly is intuition? How do you tap into it? What is its role in therapy? As a practitioner, how do you capitalize on your intuition, and also develop accurate discernment? Juna shares some of her gems and insights from her upcoming book, A Good Girl's Guide to Anger, and much more. Juna Mustad is a Life and Relationship coach, an Intuitive, and a Somatic Experiencing Practitioner focused on helping people create healthy relationships, expand emotional awareness, and embrace their full potential. She combines her visionary gifts with body-centered therapy to help both individuals and couples, as well as organizations around the world. What You'll Hear: How Juna learned how to use and develop her natural intuition What happens when you receive a reading (tarot, astrology, energy work) that doesn't resonate with your inner knowing? How to feel emotions and connecting to the body, with intuition The role of intuition and how to use it as a practitioner (therapist, massage therapist) Where anger goes In this episode: What does intuition mean to you? (3:50) As a practitioner, how do you use your own intuitive gifts and still help someone develop their inner knowing? (7:40) HOW Juna teaches practitioners to develop their intuition (13:30) How intuitions show up in Kimberly's sessions (15:42) How to tell the difference between an intuitive impulse versus ego or desire or fear (18:30) The phase of life when Juna was doing the exact opposite of her intuition (28:00) Do we REALLLLY choose our parents? (32:15) Why it's necessary to occupy a predator role for women (36:30) The making of a good girl (37:35) Approval and connection versus authenticity (39:00) What happens when anger awakens in the good girl (40:50) Anger as a doorway to power (43:30) Aggression versus anger (47:30) What to do with anger when it arises (49:30) Boundaries with love (53:40) If anger is here, there is trespass happening. Links between anger and boundaries. (1:00:00) www.junamustad.com

This podcast we talk about how Maggie giving birth to her two children radically changed her life and her career for the better. We talk about the personal changes within that drew her to find the support she was looking for and her approach to healthy exercise during pregnancy and postpartum recovery. Maggie Rintala is a personal trainer,nutrition coach and movement specialist dancer, mother of 2, lover of the outdoors, a wise wild woman a truly one-of-a kind person who lives life on her own terms. She has a unique point of view about the things that we throw in to the category of fitness and exercise. She started her love of movement with ballet in a little town in Northwest Arkansas. Maggie attended the University of North Carolina at Greensboro and received a degree with honors specializing in education and dance performance. After moving to San Diego, Maggie danced professionally and taught all over San Diego County and the US. After settling down with marriage and children Maggie had the experience of chronic pain, weight gain and an autoimmune disease. These gifts brought her back to her roots of integrated authentic movement and whole nourishing foods as a daily way of life. Maggie believes that we are all meant to move and we can be our own best guides into how to move forward. Her personal training is rooted in developmental movement philosophy, moving from the core and listening to our own wisdom. Her extensive training with Dynamic Neuromuscular Stabilization, Precision Nutrition, and Primal Movement, as well as her love of daily learning make her uniquely qualified to help anyone move forward. Maggie talks about: Her own challenging postpartum recovery with chronic pain and an autoimmune disease Being fit meant being able to be my children A dynamic approach to what "fit" means What You'll Hear: Maggie talks about her life changing experiences giving birth and in life (1:30) How did the change you found in yourself develop into personal training? (4:00) Finding a different way to access what you need (6:00) What are you fit for? (7:20) How did you recover? (8:00) Listening to YOURSELF and what is a good enough recovery for you (8:40) Transformational journey of motherhood- who I am and who I am becoming (13:30) How do you feel about healthy exercise and pregnancy? (15:00) When your husband asked, "is it really that bad?" (21:30) The ideal postpartum recovery (23:10) What is your approach to movement postpartum? (25:00) What is abdominal synergy? Is it the Core? (27:00) What is DNS and how does it work? (30:00) Rolfing, Feldenkrais and DNS- approaches to developmental movement (33:00) Was DNS a part of your recovery process? (36:00) If you could give a new mom a piece of advice what would it be? (40:00) From where you have been to where you are now how does that look? (43:00) https://www.facebook.com/MaggieRintalaFitness/ maggierintala@gmail.com

When we recorded this episode she is 1 day shy of 40 weeks! Her daughter, Goldy Wolf, was born three days after we talked. McLean McGown is a mother, wife, Postpartum Doula, Yoga & Pilates teacher, Nutritionist, Buddhist and yoga practitioner living in Los Angeles. Through her own pregnancy and birth experiences, McLean started learning about the birth world and happened upon a career that she never saw coming. Becoming a postpartum doula led her to her truest passion- to support women during one of their most vulnerable times in life and bear witness to their rite of passage into motherhood. "It takes a village to raise a mother, not just a child" In this episode, McLean shares: What a postpartum doula is Her personal struggle after the birth of her first daughter Feminine model of working Why breastfeeding is so hard How it's normal to hate your husband How McLean went from "one-and-done" to a second baby What You'll Hear: Difference between lactation educator/counselor and lactation consultant (1:45) What is the postpartum period- how long is it? (7:50) What is a postpartum doula (8:40) How does it work hiring a postpartum doula? (17:30) A day in the life of a postpartum visit (18:00) Financial planning for birth- prioritizing (26:00) Her first postpartum birth experience--driving 2 days postpartum (31:00) Your version of a 40 day lie-in (32:30) What no one tells you (40:40) When you hate your husband… (44:40) What our moms experienced (50:25) How to deal with the last days of pregnancy (52:30) How she went from hashtagging #oneanddone to two (54:00) Her own postpartum plan second time around (57:40)

This podcast is a steamy one. I met Keli at a vagina steaming workshop and was immediately captivated by her wealth of knowledge, background in quantitative analysis, and grassroots approach to women's health. This podcast is all about vagina steaming, and how it can treat almost every gynecological issue. I know the term "vagina steaming" is not a term many have heard so we will discuss here what it is, how it works, what "the perfect period" actually looks like and my own personal success story with steaming. About Keli Garza: Keli, aka Steamy Chick, holds a Masters degree in International Development graduating cum laude. A social science researcher by academic training, Keli has spent the past several years doing women's health research and has founded a new field of discipline called Peristeam Hydrotherapy. Having recorded over seven hundred peristeam case studies, Keli holds the only known research database of its kind. Keli has worked to develop vaginal steam treatment protocols which are now becoming the industry standard. Her approach is unique in that she tailors treatment based on different menstrual patterns and that she works with an Oriental Medicine Doctor who prescribes specific herbs in the formulas. In this episode Keli shares: About vaginal steaming Why it's so effective The multi-cultural development of vaginal steaming Postpartum Care and Steaming Yeast Infections and Steaming Multi-cultural elements of steaming and postpartum care Fertility successes with steaming What you'll hear: Her first experience with vaginal steaming Vaginal steaming can treat just about every gynecological disorder (6:00) What a perfect period looks like (8:00) The benefits of steam (11:00) Patterns, treatments and results (16:30) Cross cultural vagina practices (20:00) Postpartum care (28:00) Allow yourself to heal yourself (39:00) Know healthcare rights (45:00) Knowing your body and body empowerment (50:00) Keli shares personal stories about fertility and vaginal steaming (58:00) Find Keli at www.Steamychick.com

In this Magamama episode, Kristen Hauser we talk about the choices she made in her recent birth experience and why she trusted her instinct to choose this route; how it truly takes a village and how important the healing experience is. We also discuss Chinese medicine and postpartum care. She also shares her own unexpected difficulty with breastfeeding after an ecstatic birth experience. Kristin is a Licensed Acupuncturist, herbalist, birth doula, sex educator and yoga teacher. She offers holistic healthcare and mentoring for women at various stages of life to understand and partner with their fertility cycle, improve their hormonal health and own their unique, intuitive expression. She is passionate about guiding women through the transformational period surrounding childbirth and supporting women to revive the sacred connection between the heart and the womb. Kristin Hauser is devoted to helping women awaken to their inner resources, embodied wisdom and creative potential. Weaving ancient wisdom and modern understanding, she helps women address physical health challenges, while integrating deeper layers for spiritual growth and emotional well-being. Her work is inspired by years of self-inquiry, rigorous study and practice. She has traversed many common women's health challenges and traveled to various corners of the world as an avid seeker of new ways of being wild, embodied and wise. Kristin believes that together we can shift the paradigm around women's health care, feminine sexuality and empowered expression. In this episode Kristin shares: About how the fertlized egg was influenced by experiences and nutrition prior to conception primarily in the three months leading up to it, and why conscious conception is important Birthing out of the medical model She shares her personal birth experience How Chinese medicine views birth Hiring a Doula postpartum What you'll hear: Conscious conception - (2:30) Trusting your own decisions - Midwives, Doulas, Western Medicine and personal preference (7:30) Kristen shares her personal birth experience – (12:00) Feelings and transitions after labor (24:00) Life force energy and Chi (29:00) Recovering jing and chi in Chinese medicine (35:00) Opportunity to reset and rebuild and creating something new in your constitution (38:00) The first 40 days postpartum (40:00) You can never have enough support (52:00) The breastfeeding journey (56:00) Compassionate decisions for you, family and baby (1:00.00) Find Kristin here: Websites: www.healingiswithin.us, www.wombmedicine.com FB page: https://www.facebook.com/healingiswithinus/ Instagram @kristinhauser

Magamama interviews Layla Centorrino-- a teacher and practitioner for over thirty years including work such as transformational bodywork, counselor, yoga, colon hydrotherapy, shamanism, energy medicine, and psychic clairvoyance. She is the owner of The Artemis Woman. She is the creator of Conscious Coupling and Uncoupling process, creator and doula of conscious baby-making. Layla Centorrino is a seasoned wise-woman guide who tracks and accesses information and understanding, helps open blocked channels, heals unseen wounds, and clears or leverages epigenetic and ancestral influences. As an Artemis Woman, she honors and embraces the deeper mysteries and cycles as a natural part of her intuitive brilliance, wisdom and connection. Her work illuminates and empowers you to navigate life's transformational transitions with ease. It cultivates lasting alignment with your internal rhythm, compass and divine callings so you can live life on your terms. In her decades of personal training, cultivation, private practice and group work she has gathered an amazing magical bag of tools and modalities on all levels: physical, mental, emotional, spiritual and energetic. She holds a sacred container for your safety and growth. She remains conscious of your and with you as you work together, whether it is within a group setting or a long-term relationship as your private mentor. The presence and support she brings serves as a reminder and reflection of your greatness. What You'll Hear: Are the energetic systems of men and women distinct? (1:00) What happens on an energetic level when women become mothers? (2:00) How does my energy now look after childbirth- what happens to the energy system when birth interventions happen? (4:00) How to understand the difference between the root chakra and pelvis, and how they work together (5:00) Preparing your psyche for the baby to be outside of you (9:00) How do you prepare your home, your relationship, finances, and food for the transition of your psyche to become a mother? (11:20) Allowing yourself to close the chakras and re-setting in a new place (20:00) How long does the postpartum experience last on an energetic level? (31:00) Why staying connected energetically is so important to babies' health (33:00) What can women as new moms do for themselves to reseal their energy and create sovereignty? (39:00) Connect with Layla Centorrino at www.theartemiswoman.com

EP2: Tobin Zivon on Relationship and Intimacy Games Tobin Zivon is a longtime friend and soul ally of mine. He is also an accomplished spiritual teacher and counselor, and a man I trust to share the masculine perspective with the Magamama community. He authored the Art of Mindful Living: You Can't Stop the Waves, But You Can Learn To Surf, and has been teaching groups, couples and individuals for over 18 years. His brilliance shines most brightly when working with men, women and couples in the realms of love, intimacy and sacred sexuality. For over two-and-a-half decades, Tobin has been wholeheartedly dedicated to spiritual awakening and to serving others in the flowering of their highest potential. His extensive training includes 6 years in a Zen Center, 12 years in the Ridhwan School (under the direction of AH Almaas), a three-year apprenticeship one of the most transpersonal psychotherapists in America, five years with Adyashanti, and a teacher training program with the South African Tantra teacher Shakti Malan. This episode is for those of you who are in a rut, who are bored with the sex you are having, who feel like things have become boring or routine. You love your partner. It may have been great at some point, or maybe you married someone that you never had amazing chemistry with, but you are just not sure how to get things more spicy and interesting. I have to say that as deep and wise as Tobin is, these kind of intimacy hacks might be his untapped specialty. What You'll Hear: What do you do when you're not having the sex that you want to have? (3:30) Separate requests from judgment or shaming (7:00) What happens if you don't know what you want? (19:00) Organismic field of present desire (24:00) "Small audio problem (26:30)" Great lovers know how to ask great questions (27:00) Habitual patterns and playfulness and curiosity (29:00) What does a man really need from a woman? (33:00) www.Tobinzivon.com