Make Some Noise with Andrea Owen

If you’ve been on the Internet at all the past few years, you’ve surely seen a rise in personal empowerment. Which makes someone like me ecstatic, because I love that more and more people are working on themselves, not to mention this is how I make my living. However, like many trends out there, I see an unintended downside. Here’s what it looks like: People start reading self-help, attend a workshop, or hire a 1:1 coach to help them live their best life. And they walk into these endeavors with the end goal that sounds like this: “I want to wake up every morning, jump out of bed and love the shit out of my life. I won’t let anything or anyone get me down. Good vibes only!” #blessedWhen I see leaders in the industry making these promises for people, I cringe. Surely people understand this isn’t an everyday thing, right? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to episode 87 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. I’m super happy you’re here for this show because today’s guest is an expert on a topic I get asked about all the time: work-life balance!Dr. Jaime Kaluga is a licensed mental health counselor and a certified professional coach. She is an author whose work has appeared in issues of Glamour, Self and many other nationally-recognized publications. She is also an inspirational speaker and a woman on a mission! She has dedicated her life to helping women find balance and fulfillment in their lives.During our conversation we talk about what work-life balance actually means, how perfectionism stops us from achieving that balance, and how emotions throw us off balance and what to do about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Preface: for the sake of this post and my point, I’m going to be very generalized here. I understand not all people and relationships are like this. I understand you may be the exception, but please bear with me...I, in no way, shape, or form consider myself a relationship expert. That’s not specifically what I help women with, so I don’t typically write or talk about it. I do have lots of experience in relationships-- both failed and successful ones (okay, one successful relationship).And having lots of failed relationships and then a successful one, I can tell you the key to making that shift:Looking at my own shit, dealing with it, healing it, and repeating that process over and over.What I see many women do (my former self included) is this:You’re in a relationship and you’re not happy. It doesn’t matter what the specific problem is. You break up with or divorce your partner. You find a new partner, everything is great for a few months. Then things go to shit. You can’t figure out what’s wrong with the guys you pick. It’s the “same shit, different guy” syndrome.The common denominator in all the failed relationships is you. Along with your beautiful self, you’re bringing all the unresolved issues from your childhood and past relationships. All your insecurities and pain. We all have it, none of us are exempt. But also, we all have the opportunity to look at it, own what’s ours and not our partners, work on healing it so we can be better humans to the people we care about. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey Ass-kickers! Welcome to episode 85 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. Returning veteran of the show, my best friend and yours, Amy E. Smith is here to talk about the all-important art of standing up for yourself without being a dick!If you haven’t heard Amy before or have forgotten her background she is a certified confidence coach, podcaster, renowned speaker, and personal empowerment expert. Through all of her endeavors she helps people find their voice using her particular brand of wit, wisdom and irreverence.On today’s episode we delve into how to listen to the stories being told by your inner critic (or as Amy calls it, your inner sh*t talker), what unwanted identities are, why all of us have them and what to do about it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I’ve heard many times as a helping professional, “How many sessions do I need with you?” or “How long will it take me to get better?” To be honest, that’s always a red-flag. When I hear these questions I know the well-meaning potential client wants me to fix them. Wants me to do some voodoo magic where I take away their pain so they can skip into the sunset and feel immune to the pain of the world. And the obvious truth is: I can’t. No one can. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The women that come to me for help are always very similar. They’re smart, high-achieving and if you met her, you’d think she has a great life. She’s busy and being pulled in many different directions. She feels like she blinked and turned 30...then 40...and maybe closing in on 50. She’s looked around and realized how hard she’s worked for everything she’s got, but deep down feelsLonely.Anxious.Afraid.Maybe you are her. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey Ass-kickers! Welcome to episode 82 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. As always I’m thrilled you are here and honored to bring you another show. Today is something we’ve never done before: one of my clients talks about her experience completing Brenè Brown’s The Daring Way program. I wanted Jen on because for you to hear from “the average Jane”-- a woman just like you who is doing The Work and for you to be inspired from a woman who’s changed her life. Jen is woman like many of you: a working mom and a self-motivated go-getter who sets and achieves goals for herself. But she felt like something was missing; she was caught in a comparison trap and realized she had to do something about it. She sought coaching and after an initial consultation she opted to work with me. On today’s episode Jen shares the power available using The Daring Way methods and what doing so has meant for her relationship with herself and in her life. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey Ass-kickers! Welcome to episode 81 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast. Happy new year and thank you for being here. As always I’m ecstatic to bring you this show! I don’t bring you too much woo-woo here at YKAL, but today we’re veering off into a woo-woo topic called family constellation therapy. I met our guest, Natalie Berthold, at Soul Camp last year and after being powerfully moved by her session I had to have her on the show and to share her with you! Natalie joins us to explain what family constellation therapy is and what its origins are, how she became a believer and a practitioner and how healing our relationship with our mother with this therapy can give us freedom in every other area of our lives. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

I have a client, we’ll call her Stacy, who got a really difficult assignment from me recently. I asked her to sit with joy.You may be wondering why that’s so difficult. I mean, isn’t that what we all want? Isn’t that why people hire life coaches in the first place? To find and feel joy?Let me explain. The women that come to me for help are serious go-getters. They are extremely good at doing things for everyone else, but putting themselves last. They do one project and are on to the next. They set enormously high expectations of themselves which they can rarely reach (and if they do reach them, it’s at a huge cost and mostly because it matters what others think of them) if they ever reach the expectations at all. They struggle with perfectionism, people pleasing, isolating, and the need for certainty and control.And why do they act that way?They act that way because the other way of being— standing up for themselves, being imperfect, saying no, letting go of outcomes— all require being vulnerable. And being vulnerable has an unstable outcome, and possibly a painful one (like failure), so they just don’t. They do what they know to stay safe. In their minds they protect themselves. Vulnerability is just not a way of being for them.So, what does this have to do with joy?  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey Ass-kickers! Welcome to episode 79 of the Your Kick-Ass Life podcast! Thank you so much for being here and joining our guest for today’s show, Tara Mohr. Tara is an expert on women’s leadership and well-being. She is the author of Playing Big and is the creator of the leadership program for women of the same name. Tara holds an MBA from Stanford and an undergraduate degree from Yale; she is a Coaches Training Institute-certified coach who helps women play bigger and share their voices in work and in life. She’s been featured in The New York Times, on the Today Show and in the Harvard Business Review. Her fans include Jillian Michael, Maria Shriver and Elizabeth Gilbert! On today’s show we talk about dealing with your inner critic, some of her 10 rules for brilliant women and how to decipher the stories we make up versus what actually happened in our lives.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices