Making Polyamory Work

A deep dive into sudden attachment alarms called primal panic and what sparks them in poly relationships. Personal stories illustrate how nervous-system reactions like fight, freeze, or fawn unfold. Practical topics include common triggers, unhelpful reactive patterns, and how compassionate regulation and curious inquiry can create space for co-creation and healing.

Libby is joined by Mel Cassidy, author of the new book, Radical Relating, A Queer and Polyamory-Informed Guide to Love Beyond the Myth of Monogamy to answer a listener question: how do I handle things if I'm having dating success and my partner isn't? I'm having a joyful, expansive experience, and my partner is sitting on the bench feeling unwanted and envious? This experience is so common and Libby and Mel dive into some tools that can help including some somatic practices for both people. Mel Cassidy's website: https://radicalrelating.ca/ Mel's book: https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9798889842453 Mel's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/radicalrelating/?LinksJoin an Open Community Callhttps://go.libbysinback.com/community-calls --------------Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.Go to ⁠https://libbysinback.com/workbook⁠ to get your copy.

Most advice about polyamory focuses on established couples, often overlooking the unique challenges faced by "incoming partners" aka those entering a relationship with someone who already has a long-established relationship. In this episode, Libby offers support and advice for those incoming partners so that they can feel empowered in a situation that can feel really tricky to navigate.Episodes referenced in the episodeVeto Happens https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/When-is-it-Okay-to-Have-a-One-Pnis-Policy-e1ddpq3Is Hierarchy Bad? https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/Is-Hierarchy-bad-e2hu61dA Rule is just a Bad Agreement https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/A-Rule-is-just-a-Bad-Agreement-e1alt5uOne P*nis Policy https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/When-is-it-Okay-to-Have-a-One-Pnis-Policy-e1ddpq3How to Date a Couple https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/Dating-as-a-Couple-e2b7u8aThis May be a Bitter Pill https://creators.spotify.com/pod/profile/makingpolywork/episodes/This-May-Be-a-Bitter-Pill-e1e1eoeCurrent offerings from LibbyJoin an Open Community Callhttps://go.libbysinback.com/community-callsWhat Actually Makes Polyamory Work - the Workshophttps://libbysinback.com/workshop

Libby invites Laura Boyle of Ready for Polyamory to join her on the show to talk about living together, chores, finances, coparenting, and more - all things having to do with cohabiting and polyamory. --------------Show Links: Laura's website: https://www.readyforpolyamory.com/ Laura's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/readyforpolyamory/Monogamy? In this Economy? (The Book):https://bookshop.org/a/91754/9781805011187--------------Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life.Go to https://libbysinback.com/workbook to get your copy.

Libby talks about feeling grief and letting it move through you rather than being in a state of constant fixing as a way of avoiding it. --------------My episode on holding space: https://www.makingpolyamorywork.com/episodes/no-advice-pleaseWhat it Means to Hold Space for Someone by Heather Plett11 Ways to Hold Space for Someone by Reaca Pearl-----------------------Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life. Go to ⁠⁠https://libbysinback.com/workbook⁠⁠ to get your copy.---------------Visit ⁠⁠https://makingpolyamorywork.com⁠⁠ to search back episodesLibby's coaching website: ⁠⁠https://libbysinback.com

Libby invites Mia Schacter of Consent Wizardry to join her to answer two listener questions. The first one asks, what if I don't feel intense NRE with a new partner? Does that mean something or is it okay? The second asks, Is it okay for me to not want my partner to date monogamous people or is that something I need to learn to be okay with?---------------------------Find Consent Wizardryon Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/consent.wizardry/on Substack: https://consentwizardry.substack.com/on the web: https://consentwizardry.com/-----------------------Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life. Go to ⁠https://libbysinback.com/workbook⁠ to get your copy.---------------Visit ⁠https://makingpolyamorywork.com⁠ to search back episodesLibby's coaching website: ⁠https://libbysinback.com

Libby invites her spouse, Drew to talk the established partner's side of the experience LIbby described in Gamechanger. -----------------------Also! Libby has created a workbook based on the most popular episodes of the podcast — with simple practices and reflection questions so that you can apply this stuff to your life. Go to ⁠https://libbysinback.com/workbook⁠ to get your copy.---------------Visit ⁠https://makingpolyamorywork.com⁠ to search back episodesLibby's coaching website: ⁠https://libbysinback.com

Discover what happens when a new partner transforms your life and connections! Libby shares her powerful journey of awakening through a relationship that challenged her existing marriage. She explores the complex emotions that arise, emphasizing the importance of reframing these experiences as opportunities for growth. Along with personal anecdotes, she offers practical advice to navigate transformative relationships while honoring all involved. Tune in to unravel the layers of love, new experiences, and self-discovery!

Libby tackles a hot topic: should you start a new relationship open or closed? She emphasizes the importance of clarifying intentions to avoid hidden assumptions. Starting with monogamy can lead to resentment if values get sacrificed. Opening an established monogamous relationship is tricky and requires hard work. Libby encourages developing negotiation skills early on, yet stresses that being open doesn't necessitate immediate dating. She also suggests time-bound experiments to explore preferences, balancing alignment with growth.

Emily Nagoski, an expert in sexual wellness and author, discusses the often misunderstood concept of 'maintenance sex' and its potential harm to relationships. She emphasizes prioritizing shared pleasure over obligation, breaking down societal expectations that may hinder true intimacy. The conversation touches on navigating sexual identities, fostering collaboration over conflict, and the importance of authenticity in relationships. Plus, they explore key readings that can deepen understanding of sexuality, particularly for younger audiences.