Sex and Psychology Podcast

Sexual fantasies are fascinating! There is so much diversity and variability in the way we envision these scenarios, so let’s talk about it. Today, we’re going to dive into some of the interesting details of our fantasy worlds, including where they take place, the perspective from which we see things, and the storylines they follow. My guest is Mariëlle de Goede, a psychologist and researcher from Amsterdam. From 2018 to 2021, she and her colleagues at Company New Heroes conducted the largest ever study of sexual fantasies in the Netherlands and Belgium as part of a creative project titled Yes, Please! They interviewed over 400 people about their fantasies and subsequently published a Dutch-language book about their findings under the same name. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What questions should you ask when interviewing people about their sexual fantasies? Beyond vision, what role do the other senses (smell, taste, sound, touch) play in sexual fantasies? Where do people usually fantasize about having sex? How important is the setting in our fantasies? Do we usually appear in our own fantasies and, if so, how do we tend to represent ourselves? Do people tend to see their fantasies from a first-person POV perspective, or from a third-person perspective (i.e., like they’re watching a movie)? Do fantasies usually have a distinct storyline with a beginning, middle, and end? Head over to Company New Heroes’ website and Instagram page to learn more. You can also check out the Instagram and website for Yes, Please! Additionally, Mariëlle’s book can be found on the publisher’s website and on Amazon. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Have you ever wondered what goes on behind the scenes when porn is filmed? There’s a lot more that goes into it than you might think! In today’s show, I’m going to interview a porn director about her process, including where she gets her ideas about what kinds of films to make in the first place. We’ll also talk about all the work and conversations that happen long before people ever strip down and start having sex, what it’s like to be on a porn set, how long it takes to film a scene, as well as what happens after filming ends. My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss in this episode include: What is it like to be on the set of an adult film? Is the sex scripted/choreographed, or does it occur organically? What’s going on inside a director’s mind during filming? Is making adult films an arousing experience? What does aftercare look like in the world of porn? Be sure to check out more on Paulita’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Over the last decade or so, many of the conversations about porn taking place in the popular media have shifted to the topics of ethical porn and feminist porn. But what does it really mean for porn to be ethical or feminist in nature? Does this imply that all mainstream porn is inherently unethical? Can we really think about the porn industry in these black-and-white, good vs. bad terms? Let’s talk about it! My guest today is Paulita Pappel, a Spanish filmmaker and feminist pornographer. She is the founder of Lustery, a platform dedicated to the sex lives of real-life couples from around the world, as well as the co-director of HardWerk, a hardcore film studio creating cinematic and tailored gangbangs. She also co-organizes and curates the Pornfilmfestival Berlin. Paulita works as a producer, director, performer and intimacy coordinator, and is an advocate for a sex-positive, consent-based culture. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include: What do the terms “ethical porn” and “feminist porn” mean? What are some specific actions directors can take to bring ethical and feminist values into filmmaking? What does it mean to be an ethical porn consumer? As a porn consumer, what should you be looking for in order to support ethical productions? How can we convince people to start paying for their porn? Be sure to check out more on Paulita’s website, and follow her on Twitter and Instagram to stay connected. You can also read our review of Paulita’s “How To Watch Porn” course here. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

While it might be tempting to assume that people who cheat aren’t in very satisfying relationships, it turns out that even people who are very happy and in love with their partners sometimes commit infidelity, too. So why is that? Let’s talk about it. I recently released a few episodes of the show looking at women who have affairs (Eps 190 and 191), so we’re going to focus more on men today. Specifically we’re going to look at a new study of Ashely Madison users, a website that facilitates affairs and has a mostly male audience. We’re going to discuss why men (including those in happy relationships) have affairs and how it affects their primary relationships. I am joined by Dr. Dylan Selterman, a social/personality psychologist and an Associate Teaching Professor in the Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences at Johns Hopkins University. Dylan is a TEDx speaker and has written for The Washington Post, National Geographic, and Psychology Today. He also co-hosts a podcast called A Bit More Complicated. Some of the topics we discuss on this episode include: How are sexual and relationship satisfaction linked to infidelity? How many Ashley Madison users are in open relationships vs. committing infidelity? What motivates men to seek affairs? How do they feel about their affairs ? What predicts whether an affair becomes a breaking point for a relationship? Be sure to check out Dylan’s website and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. You can also check out our recent blog post about this study to learn more. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Imagine a woman wanders around a college campus and asks 100 different men at random whether they’d have sex with her. Now imagine a man wandering around the same campus asking 100 women for sex. How many people do you think would agree in each case? It turns out that we have the answers because this exact study has been done before! Today’s show is going to be all about how people respond to offers of casual sex from strangers, and how the results are similar or different across persons of different genders and sexualities. Some of the specific topics we discuss include: Why are women less likely to accept offers of casual sex than men? Under what circumstances are women most likely to accept offers of casual sex? What would happen if a celebrity (vs. a random stranger) asked you for casual sex? What is Pleasure Theory, and how can it help us to better understand human sexuality? Are lesbians as willing to accept offers of casual sex as gay men? For further reading on this subject, check out: Clark, R. D., & Hatfield, E. (1989). Gender differences in receptivity to sexual offers. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 2(1), 39-55. Conley, T. D. (2011). Perceived proposer personality characteristics and gender differences in acceptance of casual sex offers. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 100(2), 309. Matsick, J. L., Kruk, M., Conley, T. D., Moors, A. C., & Ziegler, A. (2021). Gender Similarities and Differences in Casual Sex Acceptance Among Lesbian Women and Gay Men. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 50(3), 1151-1166. Thank you to our sponsors! Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

In 2017, the world’s first sex doll brothel opened its doors. Since then, several others have opened up in major cities around the world.  These brothels exist in a gray legal zone and a lot of governments don’t want them around, which makes it tricky not just to set up shop, but to actually stay in business. So what is a sex doll brothel actually like? Who visits these establishments, what are they looking for, and how much does it cost? Let’s take an inside look at Cybrothel, a very unique sex doll brothel in Berlin where customers pay to have sex with a doll while a human sex worker provides the doll’s voice to make the client’s fantasies come to life. I am joined once again by Dr. Kenneth Hanson, an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology. Using qualitative and mixed methods, his work has examined social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He has published papers about dating apps, the sex tech industry, Reddit, and sex doll owners. Some of the topics we discuss include: How is a sex doll brothel different from a traditional brothel? How common are sex doll brothels around the world? Where are they located? What is it like to serve as the voice for a sex doll? Who is the clientele for these brothels? What does it cost to visit a sex doll brothel? How does this compare to rates for in-person sex work? Will sex doll brothels eventually replace in-person sex work, or are they serving different audiences? Be sure to check out Kenneth’s website to learn more, and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Modern sextech is rapidly changing the way people gratify their sexual and intimate desires. Sex dolls, sex robots, and chatbots are starting to become more accessible and popular. In today’s show, we’re going to discuss who is using these new technologies, their motivations, and the complex debate that’s playing out in the popular media about whether sextech is a positive or negative force in our lives. I am joined by Dr. Kenneth Hanson, an Assistant Professor of Sociology at the University of Wyoming in the Department of Criminal Justice and Sociology. Using qualitative and mixed methods, his work has examined social issues related to artificial intelligence, sexuality, emotions, and sex toys. He has published papers about dating apps, the sex tech industry, Reddit, and sex doll owners. Some of the topics we discuss include: How many people have ever used a sex doll, chatbot, or sex robot? How are age, gender, and relationship status associated with sextech use? What are some of the key factors that motivate people to use sex dolls, chatbots, or sex robots? How effective is sextech at meeting people’s needs for intimacy and companionship? What are some of the key ethical concerns related to sextech? Be sure to check out Kenneth’s website to learn more, and follow him on Twitter to stay connected. Thank you to our sponsors! This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/SEXANDPSYCH and get on your way to being your best self. Check out FirmTech, awarded “most innovative sex toy of the year” by XBIZ! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Join Dr. Michele Meek, an Assistant Professor at Bridgewater State University and author of 'Consent Culture and Teen Films', as she dives into the complex world of teen sexting. With 89% of teens owning smartphones, she discusses its prevalence and the motivations driving adolescent sexual expression. Dr. Meek emphasizes the need for open dialogue and updated sex education tailored to today's youth, advocating for compassionate parental guidance over punitive measures. Discover practical tips for navigating this digital landscape and promoting safer sexting practices.

When people today look back at popular films and TV shows from decades past, they are often completely aghast at the sex scenes. Through our modern lens, they frequently read as problematic. While things have certainly changed in recent years, consent remains an elusive ideal, and one that Hollywood still struggles to get right with on-screen portrayals of sex.  So let’s explore how consent culture is shaping the way that sexuality (and, in particular, teenage sexuality) is depicted in the media. For today’s episode, I am joined by Dr. Michele Meek, a writer, filmmaker, professor, and entrepreneur. She is an Assistant Professor in the Communication Studies department at Bridgewater State University. Her most recent book Consent Culture and Teen Films: Adolescent Sexuality in US Movies delves into the history of adolescent sexuality in the media. Some of the topics we discuss include: How have portrayals of teen sexuality on screen changed over time? What does the term “consent culture” mean? How is consent culture changing the way sexuality is portrayed in popular media? How does media exposure impact young viewers when it comes to sexuality and relationships? What are some examples of films or media that can serve as teachable moments about consent? Be sure to check out Michele’s website to learn more about her films, writing, and other projects. Thank you to our sponsors! Make oral sex your superpower with Beducated! Featuring more than 100 online courses taught by the experts, Beducated brings pleasure-based sex ed directly into your bedroom. Sign up today for Beducated’s FREE oral sex video training at https://beducate.me/pd2321-lehmiller The Modern Sex Therapy Institutes is one of the leading sex therapy certification programs in the world, meets all AASECT certification requirements, has 12 other specialty certifications, and a Ph.D. program in Clinical Sexology. Visit modernsextherapyinstitutes.com to learn more. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.

Picture a married heterosexual woman who is having an affair. Why do you think she’s engaging in infidelity? It is purely about sex and pleasure? Is it about intimacy and emotional connection? Is she doing it just because she can? Women’s affairs can take a lot of different forms, so let’s talk about them. In today’s show, we’re going to explore four distinct types of affairs that women have, as well as how women feel about their affairs. Are they happy that they did it, or do they have regrets? I am joined once again by author Susan Shapiro Barash. She has written thirteen nonfiction books on women’s issues. She also writes fiction under her pen name Susannah Marren. Susan’s latest book is titled A Passion for More: Affairs that Make or Break Us. In this book, Susan presents three decades of research she conducted on heterosexual women in monogamous relationships who committed infidelity. Some of the topics we discuss include: What motivates women to have affairs? What is the difference between an empowering affair, a sex-driven affair, a love affair, and a self-esteem affair? Are some types of affairs more prevalent than others? How did the pandemic impact women’s infidelity? How do women feel about the affairs they’re had? Be sure to check out Susan’s website to learn more, and be sure to check out Episode 190 for even more on Susan’s work Thank you to our sponsors! Check out FirmTech, awarded “most innovative sex toy of the year” by XBIZ! FirmTech’s Performance Ring is designed to boost your sexual stamina and give you harder, longer-lasting erections, while also enhancing pleasure. Their Tech Ring has the added benefit of tracking your erectile health. Visit myfirmtech.com and be sure to use my exclusive discount code Justin20 to save 20% off your purchase.  Support sex science by becoming a friend of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. Visit kinseyinstitute.org to make a donation to support ongoing research projects on critical topics. You can also show your support by following the Kinsey Institute on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. *** Want to learn more about Sex and Psychology? Click here for previous articles or follow the blog on Facebook, Twitter, or Reddit to receive updates. You can also follow Dr. Lehmiller on YouTube and Instagram. Listen and stream all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Google, or Amazon. Subscribe to automatically receive new episodes and please rate and review the podcast! Credits: Precision Podcasting (Podcast editing) and Shutterstock/Florian (Music). Image created with Canva; photos used with permission of guest.