Ordinary Unhappiness

Patrick & Abby
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Jan 24, 2026 • 1h 53min

130: Movies, Screens, and Fantasies feat. A.S. Hamrah

A.S. Hamrah, film critic and former projectionist, author of Algorithm of the Night and Last Week in End Times Cinema. He talks about cinema as a bodily, communal ritual and how theaters differ from streaming. They explore nostalgia, reality TV's politics, the rise of short-form media, AI and automation in film, and why endings in movies carry existential weight.
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Jan 17, 2026 • 7min

129: Standard Edition Volume 2 Part 9: Studies on Hysteria, Part IX: Family Secrets and the Sacrifices of Marriage: Fräulein Elisabeth von R Continued Teaser

Subscribe to get access to the full episode, the episode reading list, and all premium episodes! www.patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappinessAbby and Patrick continue their reading of Freud's case study of Elisabeth von R. With each new loss and fragmentation suffered by Elisabeth's nuclear family, they track the shifting burdens put upon Elisabeth and the successive challenges to her own hopes, desires, and self-understanding. Arriving at a pivotal moment in Elisabeth's story - another scene of bedside grief - they glimpse what appears to be her family's darkest secret, and then share in Freud's surprise when Elisabeth delivers yet another offhand revelation.Have you noticed that Freud is back? Got questions about psychoanalysis? Or maybe you’ve traversed the fantasy and lived to tell the tale? Leave us a voicemail! (646) 450-0847  A podcast about psychoanalysis, politics, pop culture, and the ways we suffer now. New episodes on Saturdays. Follow us on social media:  Linktree: https://linktr.ee/OrdinaryUnhappiness Twitter: @UnhappinessPod Instagram: @OrdinaryUnhappiness Patreon: patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappiness Theme song: Formal Chicken - Gnossienne No. 1 https://open.spotify.com/album/2MIIYnbyLqriV3vrpUTxxO Provided by Fruits Music
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Jan 10, 2026 • 1h 34min

UNLOCKED: 117: Experiences in Groups feat. Lily Scherlis

Unlocked Patreon episode. Support Ordinary Unhappiness on Patreon to get access to all the exclusive episodes. patreon.com/OrdinaryUnhappinessHappy New Year! We’re off this week taking a belated holiday rest. But as a complement to our miniseries on projective identification with Brian Ngo-Smith, we’re unlocking this episode featuring another returning audience favorite: Lily Scherlis. Lily leads Abby and Dan on a deep dive into the psychoanalytic study of groups, from its history and roots in Wilfred Bion’s theories to her own personal experiences and reportage. Like our recent episodes with Brian, the conversation expands to thinking about groups more broadly, and into the arena of contemporary politics in general and the challenges of leftist solidarity specifically. -Abby and Dan sit down with writer and performance artist Lily Scherlis to talk about her new essay for n+1, “Experiences in Groups” (a title that does homage to Wilfred Bion’s influential 1961 book of the same name). They discuss Lily’s experience at the 2024 Tavistock conference, the meaning of “group relations,” and the fantasies it can generate for those committed to leftist politics, before turning to their own experiences in groups and Bion’s influence on each of their lives.  Lily Scherlis, “Experiences in Groups”: https://www.nplusonemag.com/issue-51/essays/experiences-in-groups/Wilfred Bion, Experiences in Groups: https://bookshop.org/p/books/experiences-in-groups-and-other-papers-w-r-bion/0d24f44dde25497d?ean=9780415040204&next=t&Nov 14th event of interest to NYC listeners: “Group as Form; Deep Study Session with Groups Group” (registration and fee required): https://www.poetryproject.org/events/group-as-form-deep-study-session-with-groups-group?page=1Our previous episode with Lily, “From Boundaries to Attachment: The Uses and Abuses of Pop Psychology”: https://ordinaryunhappiness.buzzsprout.com/2131830/episodes/17036523-98-from-boundaries-to-attachment-the-uses-and-abuses-of-pop-psychology-feat-lily-scherlisOur previous episode on Bion’s Experiences in Groups with Christine Smallwood: “From Parties to Projective Identification: Why Is Group Life So Hard?”: https://ordinaryunhappiness.buzzsprout.com/2131830/episodes/13002667-12-from-parties-to-projective-identification-why-is-group-life-so-hard-feat-christine-smallwood
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Jan 3, 2026 • 6min

128: Projective Identification Part II feat. Brian Ngo-Smith Teaser

Brian Ngo-Smith, a psychotherapist specializing in psychoanalytic perspectives, joins Abby and Patrick to explore projective identification and its impact on group dynamics. They discuss how this psychological concept manifests in group behaviors, affecting relationships in various settings like families and workplaces. Key topics include role suction, scapegoating, and the interplay of fear and leadership within groups. By transitioning from individual to collective experiences, they shed light on the real-world implications of projective identification.
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20 snips
Dec 27, 2025 • 1h 49min

127: Projective Identification Part I feat. Brian Ngo-Smith

In a thought-provoking discussion, Brian Ngo-Smith, a psychoanalyst and clinical social worker, delves into the complex concept of projective identification. He explores its roots in infant development and its impact on adult relationships, challenging the boundaries between self and other. The conversation navigates the historical tension between Freud and Klein, and offers practical examples from therapy and personal relationships. By unpacking archaic defense mechanisms, Brian reveals how projections can shape emotional dynamics in various facets of life.
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Dec 20, 2025 • 4min

126: Mailbag Part 2: Searching for the Self Teaser

In this mailbag reaction, the hosts tackle listener questions about the intriguing links between psychoanalysis and Buddhism. They discuss Melanie Klein's influence and the American left's need for fresh terminology. Buzzwords like 'limerence' offer insight into modern intimacy issues. The conversation touches on themes of vulnerability, precarity, and education, revealing the complexities of our emotional lives. Plus, a playful dive into what a 90s morning-show format for psychoanalysis would look like adds a humorous twist!
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Dec 13, 2025 • 1h 28min

125: Demons, Community, and Conversion Therapy feat. Grace Byron

In this engaging conversation, Grace Byron, a talented writer and novelist known for her debut novel Herculine, dives into the complexities of trauma and identity within the trans community. She discusses the eerie blend of occult themes and emotional rivalries in her work, shedding light on how trauma shapes healing journeys. Grace critiques separatist fantasies and highlights the power dynamics that can emerge within marginalized communities. The discussion also delves into the implications of conversion therapy and the nuanced realities of therapy practices.
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Dec 6, 2025 • 4min

124: Mailbag: Uses of Theory and AI Grinchiness Teaser

Dive into the fascinating world of AI and psychoanalysis! The hosts tackle the paradox of AI as a desireless conversational partner. Did you ever think about AI 'torture fantasies' or how we evaluate its sentience? They ponder Grok's absurd trolley problem answers, revealing surprising preferences. Plus, discover why a desireless AI might feel like the perfect therapist—offering a sterile yet reassuring presence. Prepare for thought-provoking discussions that bridge psychology, ethics, and pop culture!
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Nov 29, 2025 • 1h 45min

123: Polymorphous Perversity and Gender Pleasure feat. Lucie Fielding

In this enlightening discussion, sexuality educator Lucie Fielding explores her transition from academic erotic literature to therapy, emphasizing the themes of her revised book, Trans Sex. She delves into Freud’s concept of polymorphous perversity, illustrating how it opens up a nuanced understanding of sexual pleasure. Lucie redefines gender dysphoria as a reaction to oppressive narratives, advocating for a focus on pleasure rather than pathology. The conversation dances around the intersections of identity and desire, offering fresh perspectives on trans embodiment.
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Nov 25, 2025 • 2h 46min

UNLOCKED: 32: Thanksgiving Special, Part 2: Murder, Myth, and Memory

This Thanksgiving special dives deep into the myths surrounding gratitude rituals and the darker histories at play. The hosts examine how social performances of thankfulness mask realities of settler colonialism and historical violence. Freud’s theories are explored, revealing how primal acts can shape modern rituals. The discussion unfolds on the constructed nature of Thanksgiving as a national holiday and critiques the narratives that obscure indigenous perspectives. Listeners are invited to reflect on the complexities of memory, myth-making, and the ongoing impacts of colonialism.

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