Help Me Be Me

In this episode I answer three different audience questions. The first, how to stop obsessing about a person after a single date – and the other person doesn’t want you back. Second, how to deal with feeling empty and lost – like the shell of a person. Third, how to stop forcing instant closeness with new friends – including oversharing. This one’s for: “Hijacked with infatuation,” “Lost” and “Instant Besty.” The links I mention in this episode include: The book The Depression Cure: http://amzn.to/2F9PCPv The fish oil I take in DHA: http://amzn.to/2tecCvb and EPA: http://amzn.to/2oIX1iH The Lily Pad podcast episode: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise And to make a donation or read the blog version of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com xo! Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a request I got from a couple of female listeners, and I address their issue directly – so heads up, this is based on hetero relationships between a guy and a girl and the guy is the one who doesn’t want to have sex. That said, I believe you can translate this to your partnership based on the traits you share with the examples I will discuss. If you want to know more about something I do not address, reach out with an email and I’ll tack it onto the next episode (info@yaywithme.com). Most importantly, know that this is not intended to be reductive to anyone or their lifestyle – it’s meant to be helpful. Also, there’s not a whole lot of reading on this subject that I could find, so if you have some recommendations, please also reach out and lmk! I will announce up front that this deals with gender roles and therefore it’s going to generalize. I know that in my reading I found myself getting angry at several valid ideas. I am not trying to make anyone feel worse, OR tell you what is “right” “correct” or “normal” for a man and woman to be, obvi – so if you feel offended by things that reinforce gender roles, take what helps and leave the rest! End of disclaimer! If you want to make a donation or to read the blog versions of this podcast, head to YayWithMe.com or visit me on Patreon.com/SarahMayB – thanks! xo Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen to this one with your journal in-hand! This is similar to the one I gave last year, but it’s basically a super fun journal exercise to help you focus your attention on what you love and want more of in the new year, moving forward. And yes – it’s intentionally not something I posted new years day! Hope you enjoy it! If you want more of my writing or to make a donation, head to YayWithMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In honor of the new year, this is all about finding your passion – facing feelings of anxiety and anticipation about the future and also what factors to consider when choosing a career path. This one is for Seema and Aja. Thanks for the topic suggestion!“The Passion Test” book I mentioned is here: http://amzn.to/2mkWYreThe slashies episode I mentioned is here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-51-we-are-the-slashies-5-ways-to-grow-as-a-working-creativeThe Freakonomics episode I mentioned is here: https://www.wnyc.org/story/how-become-great-just-about-anything/For more of my writing and to make a donation head to YayWithMe.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi friends, in this episode I answer two questions. One: "How do you trust your gut if you struggle with anxiety and perfectionistic overthinking - if your thinking gets you into messes all the time? Should you believe what other people say about you - even if you don't agree with them?" Two: "How do you stop focusing on the expectations of others, while in a relationship? I find that I neglect my needs and often focus on what I think I should do to make another person happy." For more of my work and to make a donation visit YayWithMe.com The Melodie Beattie book I mention in this episode is here: http://amzn.to/2k3jvZm The podcast I mentioned is here: https://soundcloud.com/helpmebeme/episode-44-personal-priorities-pond-a-self-esteem-building-exercise Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is for anyone who is coping with the aftermath of finding out they have an STD and what that means for you as an individual. There are some great articles on this topic – some from people who seem to be super successfully living with STD’s. I will link to those in the blog version of this post, all of which live on YayWithMe.com – along with The Break-Up Album – a breakup coach in a podcast album. There are some tools about how to have that conversation with a potential partner. How to still believe you have a chance at finding your happy with a partner. I wanted to also cover the side of this topic that has to do with your personal feelings about yourself. Because I think that’s one of the hardest parts. How we change this moment into a major meaningful milestone that somehow redefines who we are. This one is for a listener. Thank you for request! It’s a great one. With that there are 3 parts: the what, why and how – the tools! References: https://goo.gl/xff7Mw https://goo.gl/e47UYF https://goo.gl/QUAB4D https://goo.gl/Z6jmub https://goo.gl/ZHuW1Z https://goo.gl/SXqs9p https://goo.gl/cmQMRR Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is an episode answering two questions – the first: how do you deal with real fears and awareness of imminent pain, for example – the pain of a future loss of a loved one, or the fear over the current situation in the world. The second question: how do you deal with the pain of wanting someone who has broken up with you multiple times. Is it okay to go on Tinder and hookup with other people – just to help get over them? For more of my writing, to make a donation and to purchase The Break-Up Album, head to YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

How to take constructive criticism well, specifically, when it comes to creative endeavors. That means hearing it, taking it in and doing something with it, without it triggering you emotionally – which can change what the criticism means to you. Like when you feel you should defend yourself, or you automatically feel like a failure, or your desire to please the person outweighs the creative truth. So if you are a creative of any kind and you have a hard time hearing constructive criticism this one’s for you! This is a topic request and heads up it has some baby ambient noise as it’s recorded from my maternity leave. This one’s for Catherine. Thank you for the request and your generous donation. It’s truly how I am able to do this work. People like you. xo For more of my work or to make a donation you can visit Yaywithme.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is a power-up for ambivalence about a big life decision – like leaving a relationship, trying a new career or having a baby! This is a power-up episode structured like a conversation between you and me. This is about how to decide whether or not to have a baby, but I also think it could apply to any issue. So if you’re on the fence about kids and you’re running out of time – this is for you. And I know that this is a polarizing topic – so if you listen to this, know that it’s a personal opinion, not a "should" – and i do not believe my opinion is better than others. So don’t take offense to anything I say and if it doesn’t feel right for you, leave it. It has the potential to bring up some weird feelings in some people – especially if you have issues with childhood and parents – so that is my big fat caveat. Heads up - this topically leans more toward women! For more of my writing or to make a donation, check out Yaywithme.com xo! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is about when life becomes unmanageable – for example there’s a condition that threatens your sanity and it gets to the point that you are in serious discomfort. This is when you are feeling hopeless and overwhelmed and in a state of action-paralysis. When you don’t know how to help yourself, you are in a state of fretting. Feeling overwhelmed and unable to think past how bad things are. So if you are in that state – feeling dread and hopelessness, this is for you. Hopefully the short increment will allow it to be applicable to you in those moments – so first things first. I want you to grab a paper and a pen. From this moment right now, you cannot see the solution but no matter how bad things are or have been for a long time – something that will help – exists. Part of the paralysis is believing in the sense of hopelessness because when actions don’t impact your outcome repeatedly, we learn to believe it. We believe it’s hopeless until it’s not. The trick is to take the pain ONE notch down from what you’re in now. When it comes to really dire, hopeless situations – chronic ones, you need dramatic big change. More than a simple tweak. More than a podcast. You need a big leap. You can’t do this all on your own – you need to involve reinforcements. Today’s podcast is dedicated to Catherine. Catherine your donation has literally changed my life – I hope I am able to repay you in some small way. For more of my work or to make a donation, visit YayWithMe.com xo Sarah May B. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices