In Confidence with Lisa Sun: A Gravitas Podcast

Have you ever stayed quiet in a meeting because you were worried about how your pushback would land? Or stayed silent about something you deserved because you did not want to rock the boat? That fear of being labeled difficult is costing you more than you think.   In this episode of In Confidence, Lisa sits down with HR expert, four-time TEDx speaker, and author Dethra Giles to solve one of the most requested challenges from our community: how to ask for more at work without sounding difficult.   Dethra shares her D.A.R.E. model, a four-step framework for conversational intelligence that works whether you are making a big ask, disagreeing in a meeting, or negotiating your way through a no. In this episode you will learn: Why capable, accomplished people shrink instead of speak up How to push back and disagree at work without blowing up the relationship Why no is not the end of the conversation, it is the start of a negotiation How to ask for a promotion, a project, or an opportunity by leading with value The one thing you should build right now to ask for anything with confidence If self-advocacy, workplace communication, and conflict management are areas you are working on, this episode will change how you show up tomorrow.   Download our free PDF: How to Ask for Anything Without Sounding Difficult   Learn more from Dethra Giles: https://www.dethragiles.org/   Get That's Not What I Said: https://www.dethragiles.org/book-me   00:00 Intro 02:04 Meet Dethra Giles 07:39 How to Ask for Something Without Sounding Difficult 11:09 Dethra's D.A.R.E. Model 12:07 How to Push Back Without Starting an Argument 13:07 Live D.A.R.E Walkthrough 18:47 How to Ask for Something Without Sounding Entitled 25:23 When You Hear No 28:15 Three Things to do Tomorrow 31:34 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:      Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

You raised your hand. You did the work. You were ready. And somehow, you got passed over for the opportunity.   In this episode, we're tackling one of the most searched questions in professional development: how do I stop being overlooked at work? Lisa is joined by Jessica Chen, Emmy Award-winning journalist, Columbia University instructor, and bestselling author of "Smart Not Loud: How to Get Noticed at Work for All the Right Reasons." Jessica has taught over 2 million people how to communicate with confidence and build visibility at work, and she breaks it all down into five things you can start doing today. You'll learn:   Why hardworking, talented people keep getting underestimated at work The quiet culture vs. loud culture divide and how to find your power in the middle The pre-meeting habit that makes you impossible to overlook How to build a credibility jar so you're ready when the moment comes The yay folder trick that takes 30 seconds and keeps you top of mind with your boss   When you stop being overlooked, you stop waiting. You start getting the opportunities, the recognition, and the career you've been building toward.   Download our free guide: 5 Ways to Stop Being Overlooked at Work Learn more from Jessica Chen: https://jessicachenpage.com/ Get Smart Not Loud: https://smartnotloudbook.com/   00:00 Intro 01:37 Meet Jessica Chen 09:05 The Power of Staying Top of Mind 14:20 A Communication Skill You Need to Start Thinking About 16:16 How to Build Visibility at Work  18:11 Make Your Work Impossible to Ignore 20:40 Create a YAY Folder 22:20 Why Consistency is Key 23:32 Final Thoughts 28:17 Lisa's Power Move and Shoutout   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:      Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

What if grief and joy could exist at the same time? What if rebuilding your life wasn’t about “moving on,” but about making meaning out of what happened?   Kelly Cervantes, author of The Luckiest and Normal Broken, joins us for a deeply human conversation about loss, identity, and resilience. In this episode of In Confidence, Kelly and Lisa unpack how to live with grief without letting it define you, how to release outdated goals, and how to rebuild a life that reflects who you are now.   What you’ll learn in this episode: What to say when someone is grieving, and why saying their name matters more than you think How to let go of old identities and goals without shame Why growth often requires redefining success instead of chasing permanence This week’s micro-moment, Rewire a Fail: how to review setbacks with compassion and turn them into learning Whether you’re grieving, changing direction, or quietly wondering who you are becoming, remember that change is not a failure. It’s part of how we grow.   Get your copy of The Luckiest   00:00 Intro 00:51 Meet Kelly Cervantes 06:32 What to Say to Someone Grieving  11:09 The Luckiest 25:00 Your Dreams and Goals Can Change 29:00 Joy and Grief 36:00 Micro-Moment #10: Rewire a Fail 39:02 Outro 40:40 Disclaimer    Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

Welcome to Season 3, the Last Quarter Challenge. Think of it as a training plan for your confidence with weekly micro-moments that ladder up so you enter 2026 stronger than ever.   Our final micro-moment is Rewire a Fail. Setbacks are inevitable. What determines your confidence is not whether you fail, but how your brain processes the failure afterward. When something does not go as planned, your mind can default to shame and rumination. Rewiring a fail means separating who you are from what happened and turning disappointment into learning and forward motion.   Try it today. Rewind the moment without judgment. Name what happened using only the facts, identify what you learned, and notice the strengths that showed up along the way. This simple reframe quiets fear, restores perspective, and helps you recover faster.   00:00 Intro 00:27 Micro-Moment #10: Rewire a Fail 01:53 The Science of Rewiring a Fail 07:38 How to Practice This Challenge 10:39 Why It's Helpful 11:41 Outro 12:52 Disclaimer   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

What if success wasn’t a scorecard, but a sense of connection? What if the most powerful thing you could do this week was to stop treating life like a zero-sum game?   Ruchika T. Malhotra, author of Uncompete and Inclusion on Purpose, joins us for a conversation about redefining success, rejecting scarcity thinking, and building a life rooted in community.   In this episode of In Confidence, Ruchika and Lisa unpack how to reject competition and the five principles of Uncompete that make confidence feel steadier and more sustainable.   What you'll learn in this episode: Why “success” keeps moving, and how to define it in a way that actually feels like you The five principles of Uncompete and how to apply them to your life This week’s micro-moment, Worst Case, Best Case, Most Likely: a simple tool to stop catastrophizing and choose your own metrics If you’re tired of measuring, comparing, and chasing someone else’s definition of winning, this is your permission slip to choose a different path.   Get Your Copy of ⁠Uncompete⁠    00:00 Intro 01:36 Meet Ruchika T. Malhotra 10:12 Uncompete and Rejecting Competition 18:30 The 5 Principles of Uncompete 37:12 Micro-Moment #9 Worst, Best, Most Likely 41:51 Give Someone Else Their Flowers Today 44:41 Outro 46:20 Disclaimer   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

Welcome to Season 3, the Last Quarter Challenge. Think of it as a training plan for your confidence with weekly micro-moments that ladder up so you enter 2026 stronger than ever.   This week's micro-moment is Worst, Best, Most Likely. When we face uncertainty, our brains tend to jump straight to the worst case and treat it as fact. This practice helps you widen the lens. By naming the worst case, imagining the best case, and grounding yourself in the most likely outcome, you interrupt fear, regain perspective, and create more choices. Perspective itself becomes a confidence practice.   Try it today. Think about one situation that feels uncertain. Write down the worst case, the best case, and the most likely outcome. Notice how your body settles and your thinking becomes clearer when fear is no longer running the show and you're back in control.   00:00 Intro 00:30 Micro-Moment #9: Worst, Best, Most Likely 02:57 The Science of Worst, Best, Most Likely 09:37 Saying It Out Loud or Writing It Down 11:38 How to Practice This Challenge 15:11 Outro  15:37 Disclaimer   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

Every January starts the same way. Big goals. High hopes. And a familiar sense of pressure. But not this January.   In this solo episode of In Confidence, Lisa Sun shares a practical planning strategy designed to help you step out of resolution pressure and into clarity. Drawing on 11 years advising Fortune 500 CEOs and more than a decade building Gravitas through growth, setbacks, and reinvention, she adapts how companies plan their one year and three to five year strategies and applies it to your life. You will learn how to: Identify what is worth building on and what needs to change before you set new goals Stress test your 2026 plans against your time, energy, and real constraints, so they work in practice, not just on paper Eliminate goals that cancel each other out and prioritize the ones that compound Decide what deserves your attention this year and what can wait, without constant overwhelm Create a plan you can adapt over time instead of abandoning at the first setback This episode includes a downloadable workbook so you can plan alongside the conversation and create a strategy that feels realistic, focused, and sustainable. If you are ready to stop repeating the same January cycle and start building real momentum, it is time to plan your life like a CEO.   Download our PDF at GravitasNewYork.com   00:00 Intro 02:44 Step 1 - Your Personal Diagnostic 13:38 Step 2 - Brainstorm Your Goals 21:15 Step 3 - Sort Your Goals 25:25 Step 4 - Backward Plan 29:01 Step 5 - Calendar It Out 36:11 Outro 37:10 Disclaimer   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

Why do we judge so quickly, especially at work, across generations, and in moments of change? What if the real reason is simpler than we think, and what if curiosity is the fastest way back to connection?   Kim Lear, generational researcher and speaker, joins to unpack how culture, technology, and the events of our formative years shape what we value, what we fear, and what we are willing to sacrifice. Through stories from her research and Lisa’s own life, Kim shares how to ask better questions, lead with compassion, and still keep your backbone.   What we cover in this episode: How the generational lens helps us understand change in a more human way. Why we judge, and how curiosity interrupts conflict before it escalates. The new rules of sacrifice, and what people will trade for purpose, convenience, and community. This week’s micro-moment, Lead with Compassion and Curiosity: how to pause, assume positive intent, and seek to understand. Stay curious, stay grounded, and remember, the best relationships and the best leadership start with one good question.   00:00 Intro 01:19 Meet Kim Lear 09:00 Kim's Purpose and Curiosity 15:53 The Idea of Generational Sacrifice 31:35 Micro-Moment #8: Compassion and Curiosity 34:16 Why We Judge, but Should be Curious Instead 42:30 Outro   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

Welcome to Season 3, the Last Quarter Challenge. Think of it as a training plan for your confidence with weekly micro-moments that ladder up so you enter 2026 stronger than ever.   This week's micro-moment is Lead with Compassion and Curiosity. The easiest thing to do when someone frustrates you is to judge. The hardest thing, and the one that builds confidence, is to stay curious. When you take a moment to ask what else might be true, you shift from reacting to reflecting, and you open the door to connection rather than conflict.   Try it today. When frustration shows up, pause. Take a breath, assume there is more to the story, and stay open to what you may not see yet. Notice how differently you respond when you lead with compassion and curiosity instead of judgment.   00:00 Intro 00:38 Micro-Moment #8: Compassion and Curiosity 03:30 The Science of Leading with Compassion and Curiosity 06:45 Teams Perform Better with Compassion and Curiosity 07:31 Join the Challenge 09:39 How Lisa Practiced this Micro-Moment 13:54 Outro 15:28 Disclaimer   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.

What happens when the fear of looking awkward keeps you from speaking up or trying something new? How do you stop chasing perfection and start building courage instead? And what if awkward moments are actually proof that you are growing?   On this episode of In Confidence, Henna Pryor, workplace performance expert, two-time TEDx speaker, and author of Good Awkward, joins Lisa to talk about awkwardness, the science of discomfort, and the confidence that comes from being brave before you feel ready. Through her research and personal stories from early career missteps to jokes that fell flat onstage she shows how naming awkwardness, lowering the stakes, and improving your comeback rate create more connection, improvement, and possibility.   What we cover in this episode: Why our social skills are shrinking and how to rebuild them through small, deliberate interactions. The cringe chasm and why jumping is often the only way forward. The difference between awkwardness and vulnerability and how both strengthen trust. This week’s micro-moment, Try Something New: how embracing discomfort builds real confidence. Let yourself be a beginner. Release the pressure to get it right immediately and discover the power that comes from showing up, trying again, and recovering faster each time.   Enter Our Last Quarter Challenge Giveaway Get Your Copy of Good Awkward    00:00 Intro  01:00 Meet Henna Pryor  03:27 Are Our Social Skills Atrophying?  09:21 Henna's Best-Selling Book, Good Awkward  13:56 Vicarious Embarrassment & Your Comeback Rate 20:29 When It's Time to Jump the "Cringe Chasm" 22:06 Awkwardness vs Vulnerability  25:45 Are You Playing Not to Lose? 30:50 What's Really Holding You Back 33:16 Micro-Moment #7: Try Something New  38:03 Outro  40:29 Disclaimer   Connect With Us So You Never Miss a Moment of Inspiration:    Visit Our Website    Get Our Best-Selling Book in Paperback    Follow Gravitas on Instagram    Follow Lisa on Instagram    Connect with Lisa on LinkedIn    Follow Gravitas on TikTok  Follow Gravitas on Substack  Suggestions or Questions? Email Us.