The Dildorks That Escalated Quickly
Mar 19, 2024
They unpack the idea of the relationship escalator and why polyamory pushes back on its assumptions. They compare hierarchical versus non-hierarchical arrangements and practical impacts like living, money, and caregiving. They explore alternatives to marriage—creative projects, collaborations, collars, and public visibility—as ways to mark commitment.
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Escalator Is A Cultural Script
- The relationship escalator is a culturally assumed sequence of milestones like moving in, marriage, and kids.
- Kate says many relationships are meaningful without following every escalator step.
Falling In Love With Non‑Monogamy Limits
- Kate describes falling in love with MB while they were non-monogamous and long-distance.
- She grieved not marrying MB until circumstances changed and they later decided to marry for love and practical reasons.
Non‑Hierarchy Runs Into Practical Realities
- Non‑hierarchical polyamory creates tension when one partner takes escalator steps like marriage or cohabitation.
- Billy and Kate note practical realities (legal, financial, time) make some relationships functionally different.
