The Sabrina Zohar Show

148: What Is Avoidant Attachment and How It Shows Up in Dating and Relationships?

13 snips
Jul 4, 2025
A clear look at avoidant attachment and how it appears in dating and relationships. Short explanations of common patterns like intense starts, withdrawal after intimacy, and surface-level connections. Myth-busting on misunderstandings and differences from personality disorders. Practical approaches for building connection, setting boundaries, and practicing small acts of intimacy.
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INSIGHT

How Avoidant Attachment Forms

  • Avoidant attachment develops when emotional expression was dismissed, punished, or ignored in childhood, teaching safety in self-reliance rather than closeness.
  • Sabrina explains avoidants learned to shut down because seeking help led to punishment or being let down in their upbringing.
ANECDOTE

Personal Examples Showing Avoidant Origins

  • Sabrina shares her brother and partner Ryan as examples of avoidant patterns that came from mixed caregiving and punishment for emotions.
  • Ryan learned to shut down after being hit when he expressed emotion, so closeness felt unsafe for him.
ADVICE

Expect Pullaway After Early Intensity

  • Do not assume the initial intensity guarantees long-term availability; expect avoidants to pull away when emotional closeness increases.
  • Sabrina warns the pullaway happens after vulnerability or a close weekend because their system becomes overwhelmed.
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