Psychology In Seattle Podcast Parentified Good Kids
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Feb 25, 2026 Maggie Nick, LCSW and author of Good Kids, studies parentification, shame, and practical parenting fixes. She shares how high-achieving kids hide caretaking roles. Short, concrete parenting adjustments are highlighted. The conversation covers nervous-system responses like fawning, therapy approaches (parts work, IFS), and why relational shame shapes kids’ self-view.
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Hold Accountable While Standing By Them
- Stand by the child: hold them accountable for behavior while affirming you still love them.
- Maggie recommends saying I don't stand by that action but I will always stand by you, avoiding punitive withdrawal that creates shame.
Regulate First Then Repair With Apology
- Parents don't need long feelings talks at meltdown; instead regulate yourself first and circle back to repair.
- Maggie advises modeling emotion regulation, apologizing, and making reparations when you lose your temper.
Use Scripts To Expand What Parents Can Say
- Give parents scripts and practice them; words paired with internal work help change behavior.
- Maggie included many scripts in Good Kids because parents often need concrete phrasing to expand what's possible in real interactions.
