Dear Hank & John 448: Doogie Howser, Boy Chaplin
Apr 15, 2026
They debate who should represent Earth to aliens and whether contact is even possible. They riff on eloping rituals and how to make small ceremonies meaningful. They explain why biology students take calculus and what to put in a 2020s museum room. They explore phosphenes from rubbing your eyes and whether an alligator counts as a fish.
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Books Offer Deeper Engrossment Than Social Media
- Books and long-form fiction can offer deeper engrossment than social media.
- Hank and John describe fiction's absorbing quality and the effort/time (minutes) required to transition from scrolling to being lost in a book or novel draft.
Make An Elopement Feel Intentionally Ritualized
- Make an elopement feel special by intentionally creating ritual and weight around the moment.
- Use vows, letters, or custom rituals drawn from shared media and experiences; none of these need to cost money.
Hospital Baptism Before A Transplant
- John baptized a seven-year-old kid in a hospital before a liver transplant using only water and the Book of Common Prayer.
- He improvised rituals to give the family a meaningful occasion and later realized participants wanted a confident ritual leader.