It’s Not You. It’s Perimenopause.

18 snips

Mar 31, 2026

Mary Claire Haver, a board-certified OB-GYN and menopause educator, breaks down perimenopause in clear, relatable terms. They discuss chaotic hormonal swings, why symptoms are often missed by medicine, and how mood, sleep, and cognition can change. Practical next steps and when to seek menopause-informed care are highlighted.

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ANECDOTE

Personal Memory Of Scarce Menopause Education

Mary Claire Haver recounts vague early exposure to menopause via her mother's secrecy and minimal medical training on the topic.
She remembers only a few lectures in med school and no deep endocrinology of the transition.

INSIGHT

IDFLM Captures Perimenopause Brain Changes

Women report “I don't feel like myself” as measurable cognitive and resilience loss during perimenopause.
Studies quantify IDFLM as brain fog, loss of resilience, and emotional reactivity tied to neuroendocrine upheaval.

ADVICE

See A Menopause Expert Before Starting Psychiatric Meds

If new anxiety, depression, sleep loss, or reactivity appears without new stressors, seek a menopause-educated clinician.
Stabilizing hormones often helps more than immediately starting antidepressants or anxiolytics.

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Most women have heard of menopause.

Far fewer understand perimenopause — the years leading up to it, when things can start to feel… off.

Mood shifts. Brain fog. Anxiety. Sleep disruption. A sense of “I don’t recognize myself.”

In this episode, Dr. Becky sits down with OB-GYN and menopause expert Dr. Mary Claire Haver to unpack what’s actually happening in the body during perimenopause — and why so many women have been dismissed or left in the dark.

They talk about how hormonal changes impact mood, parenting, relationships, and resilience — and how understanding what’s happening internally can shift the story from “something is wrong with me” to “something is changing in my body.”

Dr. Haver’s new book, The New Perimenopause (out April 7), is part of a growing movement to bring clarity, research, and real support to this often-overlooked stage of life.
If you’ve ever felt unlike yourself and didn’t know why — this conversation will help you connect the dots.

Follow Dr. Becky on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbeckyatgoodinside

For a full transcript of the episode, go to goodinside.com/podcast.

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