Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson Recovering from BPD with Mentalization-Based Therapy with Robert Drozek
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Apr 27, 2026 
Robert Drozek, clinical social worker and MBT clinic director at McLean, explains mentalization and why we so often assume our feelings equal facts. He walks through three non-mentalizing modes, how childhood shapes our capacity to reflect, and practical ways to notice and challenge rigid certainties in relationships.
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Dysregulated Acts Are Reflexes To Restore Selfhood
- When mentalization shuts down people act reflexively rather than with agency.
- Drozek frames problematic behaviors (self-harm, explosive acts) as attempts to restore coherent selfhood, not mere manipulation.
Marked Mirroring Builds A Coherent Self
- Children develop mentalization via caregivers' contingent, marked mirroring of the child's feelings.
- If caregivers project their own feelings, the child internalizes an 'alien self' and loses clear access to their emotions.
Self-Harm Moves Badness From Inside To Outside
- People who self-injure often describe pain as moving badness from inside to outside, creating immediate relief.
- Drozek uses this to explain why such acts can feel necessary: the badness is externalized and the self survives.
