KQED's Forum Forum From the Archives: ‘Second Life’ Looks at Parenting in an App-Obsessed World
Dec 30, 2025
Amanda Hess, a New York Times critic and author of "Second Life: Having a Child in the Digital Age," dives into the complex relationship between parenting and technology. She shares her experiences with online searches transforming pregnancy anxiety and critiques the unrealistic ideals projected by fertility apps. Hess discusses the implications of prenatal testing and the commercialization of pregnancy through targeted ads. Additionally, she reflects on the allure of online communities while revealing the emotional weight of sharing her child's journey in a digital landscape.
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Designers Often Lack Lived Experience
- Many femtech products are built by people who don't share users' lived experiences, shaping design and messaging blind to real diversity.
- Flo was created by two brothers, highlighting a disconnect between makers and users.
Targeted Ads Exploit Pregnancy Vulnerability
- The internet quickly detects pregnancy signals and floods users with highly targeted, aspirational ads that exploit vulnerability.
- Amanda saw targeted advertising as a real threat because it amplified insecurities while she was susceptible to buying.
Question Surveillance Habits Early
- Be wary of habit-forming apps that habituate surveillance over your body and child.
- Question tools that normalize outside authority and consider deleting or limiting them if they increase anxiety.