Life & Law: Your Practice. Your Life. Your Terms. #143: Emotional Regulation Skills (Every Lawyer Needs)
Feb 6, 2024
Bena Stock, a registered clinical counselor and former litigation lawyer who founded The Lawyer Mindset, discusses why law’s all-consuming culture fuels stress and perfectionism. She explains emotional regulation, the bell-curve zones for reactions, practical pauses and habit changes, negotiating reduced hours, and the power of connection and timely professional support.
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The Hidden Package Deal Of Legal Work
- The practice of law comes as a package deal that many don't anticipate: loneliness, isolation, and an all-consuming workload.
- Bena explains law differs from other professions because legal problems keep rumination going after hours, making boundary-setting essential to sustain a career.
All Or Nothing Thinking Fuels Legal Burnout
- Lawyers commonly default to all-or-nothing black-and-white thinking which magnifies stress and blocks creative solutions.
- Bena notes this cognitive style fuels catastrophic self-talk like imagining living under a bridge rather than exploring flexible options.
Ask For Reduced Hours Before Resigning
- Do consider negotiating alternatives before quitting; ask for reduced hours and draft a concrete proposal.
- Bena shared her late-90s example where handing in a resignation led her managing partner to ask for a reduced-hours proposal, which became an acceptable arrangement.