Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships S22E3: Decentering Men & Dating (Without Giving Up On Finding Love) w/ Allison Goldberg
Feb 24, 2026
Allison Goldberg, comedian and creator of the live dating show Love Isn't Blind, shares how she stopped centering men and rebuilt a joyful life. She discusses decentering versus active dating, practical habits like sacred friend nights and hobby-building, avoiding heterofatalism, retraining your social inputs, and how that mindset led to meeting her current partner.
AI Snips
Chapters
Books
Transcript
Episode notes
Decentering Means Living Your Life First
- Decentering dating means living a life you love first, not making dating the organizing principle of your days.
- Alli stopped prioritizing online dates and focused on performance, climbing, and friendships, which made dating feel optional not urgent.
Choose Activities For You Not Prospects
- Do choose activities for their own sake, not because you hope to meet someone there.
- Alli recommends going to shows, classes, or rock climbing because you want to be there, not to scope for singles.
Retrain Your Algorithm To Shift Mindset
- Retrain your media algorithm to avoid polarizing, negative dating content.
- Alli unfollowed man‑hating feeds and instead followed climbing and positive relationship content to shift her mindset.
