The Wellness Process 104. The Origins of You: Identifiy and Heal Your Core Wounds with Vienna Pharaon
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Feb 24, 2026 
Vienna Pharaon, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author, explores how childhood shapes love, communication, and relationship patterns. She outlines five core origin wounds and shows where they pop up in dating, conflict, and intimacy. The conversation covers big emotional reactions as signals, nervous system regulation, grieving, and practical steps for intentional healing.
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Therapist's Personal Turning Point
- Vienna describes growing up as an only child during her parents' nine-year divorce and becoming a practiced 'I'm fine' performer to survive their conflict.
- She realized in her late 20s while dating that staying agreeable reenacted her childhood role, and speaking up (then grieving) felt catastrophic but transformative.
Family Blueprint Shapes Adult Relationship Patterns
- Vienna frames family of origin as the blueprint that shapes communication, intimacy, trust, safety, worthiness, belonging and prioritization in adult relationships.
- She emphasizes that even subtle, non-traumatic family patterns create origin wounds that replay as repeating adult patterns.
Ask Permission Before Pointing Out Patterns
- When a friend asks for perspective, ask permission and offer reflections with self-disclosure rather than bluntly calling them out.
- Vienna suggests sharing personal examples, podcasts, or an origin-wound quiz as gentle entry points for conversations.