The Dildorks Over the Line
Oct 3, 2023
A candid dive into boundary oversteps in polyamory and how people define cheating in non-monogamy. Conversations cover assumed boundaries, disclosure vs don’t-ask-don’t-tell, and navigating metamour dynamics. Practical topics include safer-sex logistics, scheduling, temporary accommodations, and repairing trust after violations.
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Cheating Is Boundary Violation
- Cheating in polyamory equals violating agreed-upon boundaries, not merely having multiple partners.
- Poly people must clarify boundaries because assumptions can create harm and gray areas.
Communicate About New Partners
- Keep open lines of communication about who you're seeing and what you're feeling.
- Clarify whether partners want advance notice or only basic logistical updates.
Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell Has Hidden Costs
- Full "don't ask, don't tell" often signals someone isn't prepared for non-monogamy.
- Hiding allowed relationships creates psychic burden and pressures partners to lie.
