Your Kid Isn’t the Problem (And Neither Are You) with Mandy Grass

Mar 11, 2026

Mandy Grass, board-certified behavior analyst and founder of The Family Behaviorist, translates behavior science into practical tools for busy families. She explains why behavior is communication, how parents’ regulation shapes kids, and simple shifts to cool chaotic nights. Conversations include real blended-family realities, consistency over quick fixes, and using function to solve problems without shame.

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ANECDOTE

Soccer Uniform Moment Reveals Parent Limits

Mandy describes losing her temper over a missing soccer uniform during a long day with a new puppy and many kids.
She knew the right approach but felt too depleted in the moment to use it, illustrating real-parent limits.

ADVICE

Try One Plan For Two Weeks

Pick one intervention and try it consistently for at least two weeks to avoid intermittent reinforcement.
If one approach fails (e.g., take-away vs scheduled access), switch deliberately and compare results rather than flip-flopping daily.

INSIGHT

Kids Mirror Parental Regulation

Parents model regulation; kids imitate exploding as a strategy for inconvenience.
Naming feelings (overstimulated, frustrated) in the moment helps normalize and slows escalation for even very young children.

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Description:If parenting has you oscillating between “I’ve got this” and “I need to lie down immediately,” press play.

Today, we’re stepping into one of the most humbling arenas for compassion and grace: your own living room. Because fierce compassion isn’t just for coworkers and complicated relatives—it’s also for the tiny humans melting down over the wrong color cup or the soccer uniform that didn’t get washed in time for game day. And it’s for YOU, standing there, wondering how you got so activated over this nonsense.

Jen and Amy are talking to Mandy Grass—nationally recognized Board-Certified Behavior Analyst, founder of The Family Behaviorist, former teacher, and mom in a blended family of seven kids (ages four to sixteen). Yes, seven. Her house is less “quiet retreat” and more “ongoing behavioral case study.” The data is… robust.

For nearly two decades, Mandy has been translating behavior science into practical, no-guilt tools for families. Her central message feels radical in a culture obsessed with control: kids’ behavior is communication—not a moral failure. And neither is your exhaustion.

In this conversation, we talk about:

What Mandy actually hears when parents say, “We’ve tried everything”

How shame and blame sneak into parenting—and how to gently escort them out

Why so much of parenting work begins with the parent, not the kid (I know. We had feelings about this too.)
And one tiny shift you can make tonight that will cool the temperature at home (no sticker charts required)

Here’s the truth: we cannot regulate our kids if we are operating at DEFCON 1 ourselves. Fierce compassion means holding boundaries without losing your humanity. It means seeing your child clearly—and offering yourself the same grace when you inevitably lose it over bedtime negotiations.

Mandy also shares about her new podcast, The Behavior Blueprint, a grounded, step-by-step guide for parents who are tired of quick fixes and ready for something that actually works in real life—not just on Instagram. It’s equal parts instruction, compassion, and “oh thank God, it’s not just me.”

Take a breath. Your child isn’t the problem. You aren’t either. And that might be the fiercest compassion of all.

Thought-provoking Quotes:

"In behavior analysis, every behavior has a function –attention, escape, access to something tangible, and an automatic or a sensory function."– Mandy Grass
“Do I have ADHD, anxiety, or am I just a mom?” – Mandy Grass
“Our default is take away, take away, take away. And really what we want to do is reinforce the behavior we want to see more of.” – Mandy Grass
“You’re not gonna get it right every time, but at least it doesn't feel like you have no idea what to do.”– Mandy Grass

Resources Mentioned in This Episode:

The Behavior Blueprint podcast with Mandy Grass - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-behavior-blueprint-with-mandy-grass/id1872526999
Too Much Junk on Your Social Media Feeds? I'll Show You How to Clean It Up - https://www.pcmag.com/how-to/too-much-junk-on-your-social-media-feeds-ill-show-you-how-to-clean-it-up?test_uuid=04IpBmWGZleS0I0J3epvMrC&test_variant=A

Guest’s Links:

Website - https://www.thefamilybehaviorist.com/

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thefamilybehaviorist

Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61560942080087

Youtube - https://www.youtube.com/@thefamilybehaviorist

TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@thefamilybehaviorist

Podcast - https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-behavior-blueprint-with-mandy-grass/id1872526999

Connect with Jen!Jen’s Website - https://jenhatmaker.com/

Jen’s Instagram - https://instagram.com/jenhatmakerJen’s Twitter - https://twitter.com/jenHatmaker/

Jen’s Facebook - https://facebook.com/jenhatmakerJen’s YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/user/JenHatmaker

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