
Sex and Psychology Podcast Episode 48: Sex On The Brain
Aug 20, 2021
Emily Nagoski, sex educator and researcher with a PhD and bestselling author of Come As You Are, explains how brains shape sexual response. She breaks down the Dual Control Model of accelerator and brake, why desire can be spontaneous or responsive, and how stress, context, and body image affect arousal. Practical tips include identifying personal triggers and completing the stress cycle to restore desire.
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Sex Is Gas And Brakes
- The Dual Control Model frames sexual response as a balance of an accelerator (turn-on) and a brake (turn-off).
- Emily Nagoski explains many sexual difficulties stem from overactive brakes (stress, body image, trauma) not weak accelerators.
Why Stress Changed Couples Differently During The Pandemic
- Individual differences in accelerator and brake sensitivity explain divergent pandemic effects on sex lives.
- Nagoski notes trauma history and situational context made some people's brakes slam while others' high excitation left sex unchanged or increased.
Genitals Don’t Speak For Consent
- Arousal non-concordance (mismatch between genital response and subjective arousal) is common and normal across genders.
- Nagoski emphasizes normalizing it to prevent misusing body responses as consent evidence and to reduce shame.












