Mormon Stories Podcast Graduated BYU and Resigned Immediately - Ryan Huey | Ep. 2136
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Apr 13, 2026 Ryan Huey, a recent BYU graduate who served an LDS mission and worked as an EFY counselor, shares his journey from devout upbringing to formally resigning from the church. He talks about shame cycles around sexuality, wrestling with church history like the CES Letter and Book of Abraham, a mid‑mission crisis, rapid philosophical deconstruction, and finding new identity and community beyond BYU culture.
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Idyllic Devout Upbringing Shaped Early Identity
- Ryan Huey grew up in a very devout Mormon household with daily family scripture study and seminary an hour from home, which made Mormon identity central to his life.
- He served as EFY counselor, saved for a mission from age 12, and had early spiritual confirmations at Nauvoo and the Sacred Grove that cemented his youthful testimony.
Shame Cycle Around Masturbation Led To Repeated Confessions
- Ryan described a persistent shame cycle around masturbation that began in adolescence and led him to repeatedly confess to bishops and avoid taking the sacrament.
- He hid in bathrooms to avoid the sacrament and felt singled out because priesthood leaders declared worthiness, reinforcing secrecy and self-loathing.
Early Emotional Testimonies Preceded Historical Scrutiny
- Ryan had a powerful EFY experiential confirmation under a tree outside Carthage Jail that convinced him Joseph Smith was a prophet in youth.
- That emotional confirmation predated deeper historical scrutiny, which later changed how those early experiences were interpreted.