On Attachment #20: How to Find Closure After a Break-Up
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Aug 9, 2022 An exploration of what closure actually is and why some breakups leave unanswered questions. A look at how anxious attachment drives the search for answers and why reasoning alone often fails. Practical suggestions for taking responsibility without self-blame and honoring boundaries when someone refuses contact. An invitation to reframe closure as a personal decision and to sit with grief while moving forward.
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Closure Is About Making Sense Not Closure Rituals
- Closure is essentially answers that let you make sense of what happened after a relationship ends.
- Stephanie Rigg contrasts healthy relationships that provide understandable endings with dysfunctional ones that leave "loose threads" and confusion.
Anxiety Fuels The Need To Scramble For Answers
- Anxiously attached people have a low tolerance for uncertainty, which makes post-breakup ambiguity especially painful.
- Stephanie explains this drives frantic information-gathering or attempts to reconnect to reduce anxiety.
Own Your Part Without Blaming Yourself
- Take responsibility for your part in the relationship dynamics but avoid self-blame; use that learning to change patterns.
- Stephanie urges breaking up with the pattern, not just the person, to prevent repeats in future relationships.