Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled

Setting Boundaries Without Power Struggles

Apr 14, 2026
A parent describes a five-year-old provoking a toddler and the family’s tense interventions. The conversation explores why a child acts out when a new sibling is coming and how past transitions resurface. Practical ideas cover naming feelings, offering calm empathy, and removing dangerous items quickly to avoid escalation and power struggles.
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INSIGHT

Acting Out Signals Big Internal Change

  • Children often act out because they're processing big transitions, not because they're willfully bad.
  • Janet explains a five-year-old's mean behavior likely stems from anxiety about a new sibling and resurfaced feelings from the first transition.
INSIGHT

Parents Feel Hurt More Than The Targeted Sibling

  • Parents are often more disturbed by sibling cruelty than the victim child is.
  • Janet notes younger siblings usually see beyond mean acts, while parents' reactions can amplify harm.
ADVICE

Name The Feeling To Diffuse Sibling Meanness

  • Talk with the older child empathetically about feelings tied to the upcoming baby.
  • Say things like I notice you're out of sorts and remind her you understand the first transition was hard to open honest discussion.
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