Secular Buddhism 220 - This Messy Gorgeous Love
19 snips
Apr 29, 2026 
Nico Hase, meditation teacher and relationship coach, brings practical exercises and deep listening frameworks. Devin Hase, longtime contemplative practitioner across Zen, Insight, and Tibetan traditions, offers retreat-tested practices for partnerships. They explore dukkha in relationships, deep listening to self/partner/the space between, courageous "patience with teeth," conflict styles (volcano, diplomat, dodger), and structured check-ins to foster real connection.
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Photo Shoot Fight Turned Teach-In
- Devin and Nico had a blowout fight 30 minutes before a photo shoot while living in an 80-square-foot RV and exhausted from travel.
- They paused, put hands on their hearts, breathed, and then acknowledged tiredness which de‑escalated the conflict enough to take the photos later.
Relationships Are Inherently Dukkha
- Relationships are dukkha: inherently unsatisfactory and unpredictable, not a failure when they feel difficult.
- Framing partnership with the first noble truth reduces perfectionism and returns agency to skillful response rather than blame.
Mindfulness As Three Part Deep Listening
- Nico reframes mindfulness as three-part deep listening: to yourself, to your partner, and to the space between you.
- The in-between captures context (kids, work, exhaustion) that often explains sudden strong reactions.
