24: More Partners, More Parts: Polyamory & IFS, with Rachael Meir

“It really is so much about the journey rather than trying to get to someplace because that destination seems to change for most people”. - Rachael Meir

On today's episode, Patty speaks with Dr. Rachael Meir, psychologist, Ethical Non-Monogamy Coach, and author of 50 Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship. She shares her personal story of opening her long-term monogamous marriage and becoming a committed throuple and how these experiences inspired her professional work.

They explore the complex internal and external terrain that ENM and polyamory often involve, provide clear definitions (ENM as the broad umbrella, polyamory as one intentional branch), common motivations for opening relationships, why self-assessment and honest communication are essential before taking the leap, and the practical skills couples need to sustain healthy relationships. They discuss how to manage big emotions like jealousy, compersion, fear of abandonment, shame, and excitement, the difference between hierarchical and non-hierarchal relationships, the seven distinct relationships that exist inside a throuple, and the personal growth and fulfillment that this path can bring.

Patty brings the IFS lens to the conversation and invites listeners to notice your own parts as we discuss a topic that can feel activating, liberating, or perhaps a bit of both. 

Dr. Rachael Meir is a sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirming psychologist and sexuality/relationship coach with over 20 years of experience supporting individuals, couples, and polycules through emotional, relational, and identity-related challenges. She is widely recognized for her expertise in ethical/consensual non-monogamy, as well as her supportive work with clients in kink and BDSM communities.

Drawing from both extensive professional training and her lived experience in a long-term polyamorous triad, Dr. Meir brings a warm, collaborative, and nonjudgmental approach to her work, helping people feel grounded, understood, and empowered in their relationship journeys.

She’s also the author of 50 Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship, a practical and reflective guide for those who are curious about non-monogamy or preparing to open their relationship. The book offers 50 thoughtfully designed questions—each with context and gentle prompts—to support honest conversations about boundaries, communication, expectations, and emotional readiness.

Connect with Rachel:

https://www.instagram.com/drrachaelmeircoaching/

https://www.facebook.com/drrachaelmeircoaching/

https://www.linkedin.com/in/drrachaelmeircoaching/

https://www.tiktok.com/@drrachaelmeircoaching

Coaching website - https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/

My book - https://geni.us/50Questions

Thriving Throuples Retreat - https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/retreat-2026

Therapy website - https://rachael-meir.clientsecure.me/

Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/

Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich

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